Things That Matter

Trump Wants To Host The Next G7 Summit At His Florida Resort Which Settled A Bed Bug Lawsuit

First of all, I just want to say this so that you know that you’re not crazy: yes, we live in hell. The President of the United States Donald Trump went off on Twitter to dispel any rumors that the Trump National Doral resort has bedbugs because he wants to host the G7 summit there. 

“Wow, none of those words make sense to me. I know all the words but in that order, they make no sense, Emerald,” you say. Yes, but we live in hell, mami. Just ride the infinite rollercoaster of horrors and try not to puke. I will do my best to explain just one of the ways our dear president Trumpito is an unstable, selfish buffoon… this week… again.

The opposite of what Trump says is usually the truth. 

“No bedbugs at Doral. The Radical Left Democrats, upon hearing that the perfectly located (for the next G-7) Doral National MIAMI was under consideration for the next G-7, spread that false and nasty rumor. Not nice!” Trump tweeted.

According to the Washington Post, Trump has made 12,019 false or misleading claims since he became President. I remember stealing a jumbo crayon from school. I slid it into my pocket while I made eye contact with my second-grader teacher who was literally watching me steal. She asked if I stole a crayon. I said no. I was a more convincing liar than Trump. 

There were definitely bedbugs at the Trump National Doral in Miami, Florida. 

It’s right here, in the lawsuit, LOL! In 2016, 63-year-old Eric Linder filed a lawsuit alleging bedbug infestation at the Trump National Doral. Linder claimed that after spending $300-a-night at the Doral (to eat deadly salmonella-contaminated mousse and support America’s first dictator) he was perturbed to discover “welts, lumps, and marks over much of his face, neck, arms and torso,” caused by alleged bedbugs. 

Linder had photographs to prove his claim. The hotel didn’t say that there were no bedbugs. Instead, management basically said it was Linder’s fault for getting bitten by the bedbugs, which seems pretty consistent with Trump’s victim-blaming attitude. 

“Doral’s management hit back, claiming Linder ‘conducted himself so carelessly and negligently that his conduct was the sole proximate cause or contributing cause’ for the insects’ attack,” according to The Guardian. The club settled the lawsuit. 

What is the G7 and why would it be held at a Trump resort? 

I can’t emphasize this enough: the G7 will never be at a Trump resort. In fact, that is a timeline so dark — please, don’t even suggest it. I shudder to think! The G7 is represented by the seven countries with the most advanced economies: Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States. The annual summit is where global economic policies are discussed. 

It’s a very important meeting with the world’s most powerful people. The 45th summit, held over this past weekend, was in Biarritz, Nouvelle-Aquitaine, France at the Hotel du Palais. The hotel was built in 1855, originally as a summer villa for Empress Eugénie. For these reasons, hosting the G7 at a Trump golf course is an absolute joke. You’d have a better shot of Angela Merkel accepting your offer to get bottomless breadsticks at the Olive Garden. 

But why does Trump want to host the G7 at a Trump resort?

Trump’s attempt to steer the next G7 toward one of his resorts is transparently for his own profits. Yes, it is weird for a President to be running a business while he is President. This is unusual behavior. Do you remember Obama telling you to check out this new app called Pattern? Do you remember George Bush Jr. trying to raise money on Kickstarter for a new product called “male leggings” named Meggings”? No! This behavior is unpresidential and unethical. The real tea is that while it is frowned upon, it is perfectly legal. Yes, this is something you should ask your local congressperson about. 

Presidents are not required to give up their businesses, although those who have them typically put them in blind trusts where they are managed by independent parties who make decisions without them. Imagine your President owns a corn business, well if he didn’t put that business into a blind trust, he could make decisions to deregulate FDA corn guidelines, he could influence the stock market to improve the value of corn shares, he could potentially make a lot of decisions to benefit his business at the expense of the American public. Jimmy Carter famously put his peanut farm into a trust. 

Trump has not done this with any of his businesses. Instead, he relinquished control to his two sons. So of course, he wants to host the G7 there, he wants to use our government, our labor, and our tax dollars to pay for his all-too-comfortable lifestyle. I got one word for you, kids: resist.

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