Things That Matter

Twitter Is Cackling Over Trump’s ‘Really Big’ Border Wall He Said Is Being Built In Colorado

This is not The Onion. Bear with us. During a speech in Pittsburgh Wednesday, President Donald Trump announced that the U.S. is already working on building a wall along the borders of New Mexico and Colorado. “We’re building a wall in Texas,” he told the crowd. “And we’re not building a wall in Kansas, but they get the benefit of the walls that we just mentioned.” Trump bragged about how the wall would be “a big one that really works — you can’t get over, you can’t get under.”

Colorado only borders other U.S. states. Twitter is roasting the President and his response is just adding fuel to the fire.

U.S. Governors and Senators alike promptly began roasting the president on Twitter.

Credit: @GovofCO / Twitter

The Governor of Colorado, Jared Polis (D), took the opportunity to quip about how Colorado’s education system is at least providing these basic geography lessons to their kindergarteners. “Well this is awkward,” Gov. Polis tweeted. “Colorado doesn’t border Mexico. Good thing Colorado now offers free full-day kindergarten so our kids can learn basic geography.” Supporters quickly commented, “Drag em Gov!!” and “Get the man some Legos!” Get it? Because Trump just wants to build walls and talk about building walls. Get it out of his system.

Luckily, Senator Leahy (D-Vermont) happened to have a sharpie and U.S. map handy.

Credit: @SenatoryLeahy / Twitter

His constituents were very pleased. “Senator Leahy comes through with the Sharpie drawn map. LMAO.” tweets @Dixieann18. A few Coloradoans took it upon themselves to confirm to the rest of America that they don’t see any walls. “I can see the wall from my house as easily as Sarah Palin could see Russia from hers,” Colorado resident Shay tweeted.

While absurd claims were being made, one resident Coloradoan requested a “moat with dragons and alligators and sharks with laser beams and swimming buffalo” in lieu of the wall.

Credit: @capsfaninatx / Twitter

Amy Cosper tweeted, “As a resident Coloradoan, I think I speak for everyone when I say we don’t want a wall, we simply want a moat with dragons and alligators and sharks with laser beams and swimming buffalo. That’s it. That’s the request.” Promptly, photoshop helped provide a glimpse into what the people of Colorado actually want from Trump. 

However, Colorado might be seeking protection from the MAGA red bordering states.

Credit: @merriamweebster / Twitter

New Mexico gets a heavenly gateway entrance to blue Colorado. The rest of the “riff raff” can stay home, tweets one comedian. Other Coloradoans genuinely just want people to stop gentrifying their state and increasing rent prices. But that’s a story for another day. 

Some people just really want to meet Trump’s high school geography teacher.

Credit: @mozzmama / Twitter

Please, break your silence. Tell us the real deal. Scrap the NDA and return the payoff. Carlos Natal spoke for all geography teachers when he tweeted, “Geography teachers are in mourning.” The key mocking point in all the meme-steryia is the question that’s on everyone’s minds…

Does President Trump think New Mexico is part of Mexico? 

Credit: @ZenGrammar / Twitter

Look, I know the New Mexicans ain’t as bad as them old Mexicans,” one Twitter user joked. “But if Colorado wants a border wall to protect against that, that’s they’re choice.  #ColoradoBorderWall” 

Trump later tweeted that he was kidding.

Credit: @realdonaldTrump / Twitter

Trump claims that he was cracking jokes with the Pittsburgh auditorium allegedly packed with folks from Colorado and Kansas. In response, folks are claiming his comic skills are worse than his geographical knowledge of the country he runs as President. “NOBODY in the crowd laughed,” tweeted one David. “NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON.
He’s as good at comedy as he is Presidenting.
FAIL.”

At this point, others are more concerned with his inability to take responsibility for his actions than they are with his geography. 

Credit: @laloalcaraz / Twitter

“Dude, just take the L,” tweets one doctor. “Coming up with this lame and convoluted story just shows how you’re a shameful liar. Making a silly mistake about a wall in Colorado is not nearly as serious as lying to escape responsibility for your mistakes.”

When, really, we all know what the border wall hype is really about.

Credit: @ChrisJZullo / Twitter

Preach, Mr. Zullo! For a country that legally separated babies from their mothers, and profited off of putting asylum seekers in jail, we’re with this Twitter user who has one response for Trump’s #ColoradoBorder wall: “I’d rather be part of Mexico.”

READ: Joe Biden Forgot To Buy The Web Address For His Latino Outreach Campaign And Now Trump Is Trolling Him

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com