Things That Matter

A Small Crowd Marched In Boston For ‘Straight Pride’ And AOC Had The Perfect Response

White people across the country are freaking out. Okay, let me rephrase that. Some white people with too much time on their hands are growing increasingly paranoid that non-white and non-heterosexual people are taking over this great land we call the United States. Not only are white supremacists wreaking havoc, killing innocent people, but we also have ridiculous white people parading around town, causing pure embarrassment. 

Yesterday, an estimated 200 people marched in downtown Boston for the first (and hopefully the last) “Straight Pride Parade.” 

Credit: Twitter/@cp24

Back in June, right in the beginning of Pride month, three men formed the Super Happy Fun America organization and said they too would have their own pride day to celebrate straight people everywhere. One thing they didn’t openly say is that organizers of the “Straight Pride Parade” also have affiliations with white supremacy groups. Needless to say, the concept for the “Straight Pride Parade” drew instant ridicule yet the parade went on as planned. The permit for the parade stated they were expecting around 2,000 people, but that was not the case. More than a thousand counter-protesters showed up and police report that 36 people were arrested

People on social media could not help but mock these sad individuals, but the best line came from Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. 

“For men who are allegedly so ‘proud’ of being straight, they seem to show real incompetence at attracting women to their event. Seems more like a ‘I-Struggle-With-Masculinity’ parade to me. ????????‍♀️ Hope they grow enough over the next year to support/join LGBTQ fam next #Pride!”

Her tweet was in response to a video of the “Straight Pride Parade” that showed people holding the American flag, others in dinosaur costumes, a majority with MAGA hats, and a huge Trump float. 

As we mentioned, 36 people were arrested, and many of those were counter-protesters. Rep. Ayanna Pressley urged people to donate to the Solidarity Against Hate Legal Defense Fund that would help contribute to the bail of the individuals arrested. 

“Join me right now in making a contribution,” Rep. Pressley tweeted. “Thank You to the allies & accomplices who stood in the gap & laid their bodies on the line today in affront #LGBT hate march. To everyone feeling unseen & vulnerable today…we got you. Equitable outrage. Our destinies & freedoms are tied.”

Rep. Ocasio-Cortez told her followers to do the same. 

“One way to support the local LGBTQ community impacted by Boston’s white supremacist parade? Contribute to the Bail Fund for the activists who put themselves on the line protecting the Boston community: (Any $ left over goes to @MassBailFund + @Boston_GLASS ).”

This is not the first time Rep. Ocasio-Cortez made a hilarious jab at the organizers and supporters of “Straight Pride Parade.”

When the initial concept was first announced, Rep. Ocasio-Cortez tweeted, “Will ‘Straight Pride’ be a Freaky Friday type situation where all of our history books, movies, stories, media, news, etc feature mostly LGBTQ+ people & perspectives? Will people have to come out as straight? What would folks march in? Socks w/ sandals on? Dad jeans?” Well, she wasn’t far off. People were wearing weird-ass clothes and clown costumes.  

Here are some other of our favorite tweets from yesterday’s bogus parade. 

Jemain Clement from Flight of the Concords nailed it!

If this parade is so straight, why are there more men than women?

In all honesty, there was a handful of women there, but why didn’t did their girlfriends or wives come and support them? Oh, wait…never mind. 

Well, this is a good representation of the parade: sad and lonely.

That trash bin actually looks like it’s having more fun. 

Why would “normal” straight people want to be associated with this?

A shark? Really?

Maybe next year they will change the name to what it actually is. 

Why hide its real message?

By the way, these are the organizers of “Straight Pride Parade.”

Things that make you go hmm…

Now, if you really want to be confused by these odd people that put on this spectacle and refer to themselves as “Super Fun Happy America,” they proclaim to be “advocates on behalf of the straight community in order to build respect, inclusivity, equality, diversity, unity, solidarity, dignity, social mobility, empowerment, sustainability, justice, awareness, intersectionality, human rights, education, access, participation, dialogue, visibility, tolerance, and alliances with people from all walks of life. We encourage everyone to embrace our community’s diverse history, culture, and identity regardless of sexual orientation.”

We know that line is complete BS because the major of people there were white, and I didn’t see one LGBT person supporting their cause. They are the antithesis of inclusivity. 

Straight Pride is code for Trump rally. 

Perhaps a MAGA permit was more expensive so they went with “Straight Pride Parade.” 

We hope this sad display of a gathering will finally put this question to rest. 

The answer: because every day is a straight pride parade. 

READ: Boston Heteros Are Calling For A Straight Pride Parade And Twitter Is Not Having It

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