Entertainment

Frankie Muniz, Who Is Engaged, Sent A Thirsty Tweet To Lizzo And Her Response Was Pure Lizzo

In perhaps the most 2019 tweet of all, Frankie Muniz asked Lizzo to be his accessory. It’s almost as though some divine force is merely pulling celebrities’ names out of an existential hat to produce one of the strangest news cycles in the geological calendar. Donald Trump the host of Celebrity Apprentice is the fourth President of the United States to be impeached, Spanish singer Rosalia is nominated for a Latin Grammy, Nick Jonas is married to Priyanka Chopra, and Frankie Muniz is thirsty for Lizzo. 

A world where Rihanna doesn’t release an album every six to 12 months is extremely strange. 

Frank Muniz sends thirst Tweet

As a precocious Latinx, watching Frankie Muniz on Malcolm in the Middle capture the complexities of being the family know-it-all, even if he wasn’t playing to his Puerto Rican roots, was vindicating. Never in a million years did I imagine his life would unfold the strange way it has. Let’s break this thirst tweet down.

“Hey @lizzo,” this is a bold move. Muniz is directly tweeting at Lizzo’s handle. This isn’t a passing thought for him, this isn’t a joke, he wants her to see this. He wants to be taken in earnest. This is a bold move.

 “Lemme be your accessory,” interesting choice of words here. An accessory is an object meaning he wants to be used. Rather than opting to be a bae, friend, partner, husband, man, boyfriend or side piece, Muniz is making it clear he does not mind of Lizzo disregards his humanity. 

“I can be a purse… put a chain around me,” really profound stuff here. You see, a creep would say something like underwear, something that must be kept hidden. Muniz wants to be her purse. Ladies, he wants to be on her arm proudly in public. He wants the people to know. He is unashamed. He is proud to be thirsty. Fellas, you could learn a thing or two from this.

 “And I’ll hold your stuff for you… just sayin,” a true romantic. Mr. Muniz is making the case for himself. He isn’t concerned with what Lizzo can do for him, but what he can do for Lizzo. He wants to hold her things. Muniz is talking about acts of love here. 

Twitter responds to thirst tweet

Twitter went insane for the viral Tweet. Many users extended their support for Muniz and all his future endeavors. The mentions were ripe with shock that Muniz would express such a high level of horniness on main, and, of course, there were Malcolm in the Middle puns galore. 

“Malcolm trying to get in the middle of them cheeks,” one user wrote. 

“He went horny on main,” another user said awestruck. 

If 2016 was the darkest timeline then 2019 is one of complete absurdity. Is it strange for thousands of people to be giddy about a horny tweet as the Amazon burns reminding us of the impending, inevitable, existential doom of the climate crisis? Yes, but what else are we going to do, fam?

Lizzo responds to Muniz

Lizzo issued a simple yet effective correction to Muniz’s tweet. With just one word it says so much. Let’s break this down. 

“Accessorary*” Lizzo wrote without further commentary. The asterisk makes it clear this is a correction, not a suggestion. Therefore implicating that Muniz had done something wrong. Only real Lizzo fans understand, and that’s the problem, Mr. Muniz. 

In the song “Tempo” featuring Missy Elliot, the 33-year-old rhymes “necessary” with the improvised “accessorary.” If Muniz was a true stan, he would know that. The bluntness of the correction says, you’re not a real fan, you’re just out here playing games, but sure, I’ll play with you cause I dabbled with Malcolm in the Middle back in the day. 

This saga isn’t over. Frankie Muniz is engaged.

The 33-year-old Emmy-nominated actor gave up his Hollywood career in 2008 to pursue open-wheel car racing. In 2009, he endured several concussions after crashing in a competition. Since 2012, Muniz has experienced two strokes resulting in significant memory loss. In 2017, he revealed he couldn’t remember being on Malcolm in the Middle at all. 

Last year, he got engaged to his longtime girlfriend Paige Price. This year he is tweeting at Lizzo. Now someone with a crass sense of humor will say: did he forget he was engaged? But I will not say that. I will say, perhaps, Muniz wanted to ensure that he would always remember how thirsty he was for Lizzo so he sent a Tweet because the internet is forever. But rest assured, this moment has already been added to his Wikipedia entry. None of us will ever forget. 

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