My Latino Family’s Favorite Thanksgiving Tradition Is, Of Course, Asking Me “¿Y Tu Novio?”
When it comes to Thanksgiving, there’s a few traditions I always uphold, but I know I’m not the only one…
I plan my outfit days in advance which means…
Arriving in stretchy pants.
The better to eat with! My mom calls me a fodonga, but, whatever, because…
Stretchy pants mean room for seconds and thirds!
You thought this was a game??
Along with plates of delicious food, my tías bring a heaping side of chisme. So you can find me snacking on that in the kitchen.
That plus all the draaaaanks will temporarily console my rage.
But I’ll dodge them as soon as they hit me with THE question.
You know which question I’m talking about.
And when I remind my tías that I am, indeed, still single, they come back with the inquisition: “y tu amigo en tu Fayboo?” or “why don’t you get back with Esteban?” Because he’s an asshole, Tía Rosa.
And you better believe I’ll be getting sized up by the Weight Watchers committee.
Fortunately I’m geared up for the “Oh hiiii, flaca” or “Oh hiiii, gordita.” That’s it. No in between.
And when I tell the fam I’m going out with friends after dinner, I’ll be serving this look.
My parents always tell me to be home by midnight, even though I’m an adult, pay taxes and haven’t lived at home for years. And once I’m about to leave…
Here comes the guilt trip. I end up loving up on that coquito, tequila and everything else that is at home that I inevitably stay in.
“I just miss you so much, mijita. But it’s okay if you’d rather be with your friends.” :puts purse down: You win, mom.
It’s okay though, because la familia knows how to party.
The Celia Cruz comes on and everyone is getting down, including my 80-year-old abuela! It’s seriously the best!
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