Latino Weddings That Went A Little Too Far In All Of The Right Ways
Latino weddings are lo mejor. We all grew up on telenovelas where the bride is whisked away on a white horse, and fountains erupt behind her, only to find out that she just unwittingly married her fiance’s evil twin brother. There’s always extravagance and there’s always a moment of aghast that creates enough chisme for two more generations to come. In real life, though, we have the same high expectations for the extraordinary romance and grandiosity of gesture of a novela without any of the drama. Life goals are to forever be the chismosa and never the chisme.
These Latino weddings are hard, cold proof that novelas have always been right. You can’t have over-the-top good energies without some over-the-top malo. We’re sorry, newlyweds. You’re the chisme, this time.
This bride who wanted to walk in on an actual white horse, and then fell off that actual white horse.
They seem majestic as heck, but we imagine riding a horse actually required the whole cabellero get up for a reason. Riding a horse in a dress sounds like a challenge. Riding a horse in your wedding dress on your wedding day sounds like a receta for disaster.
Wow, watch this flaquito lifted up his bride during the adrenal rush of their first dance!
After three minutes of absolute perfection, including a smoke bomb going off in the middle of their chicken dance, the groom decides to go for it. He lifts his wife up and she throws her arm up in the air. The victory! The adrenaline! Wait for it, because it all wears off.
The groom staggers and falls on top of his new wife.
We have to give him some credit though. He never let go of her. He just went down with her. That’s what marriage is all about, right?
And we all know every Latino wedding needs to stash the kids somewhere…
“Only at Mexican weddings..” tweets a guest. The banquet hall has a whole bouncy house in the banquet hall.
I’m ready to see the professional photography of this wedding.
We can be sure that was hands down the most fun wedding any niño or niña ever went to.
It’s not what it seems.
Sure, it seems like this is what wedding photographers do. They don’t use their zoom. They walk backward, just a foot away from the bride and groom, and snap a bunch of flash photography in their faces. That’s not even the over-the-top part…
The photographer ends the newlyweds walk out into the world by falling into a pool of holy water.
Literally, the most romantic moment of all is ruined in a single splash. The photographer is walking backward, snapping photos, as the newlyweds start walking back down the aisle for the first time as a married couple. Then, he got his second baptism after falling into a pool of holy water. We hope they didn’t lose all their photos!
Meanwhile, this couple knows the exit is at least as important as the entrance to a wedding.
Nope. They will not begin their marriage with a bunch of dusty old tin cans making a bunch of noise as they drive off into the sunset. This couple just hopped on a beautiful trajinera, and just had to keep grinning until they floated out of sight and could finally relax. That’s the way to end a wedding and start a marriage, in the best way.
This bride had her groom dress up as a charro, and we’re not mad about it.
Instead of preserving the same old classic tux for all of eternity in a garbage bag in the closet, that outfit will bring back unique memories. Just imagine passing that suit down to their son, who will continue a very epic tradition.
Here’s the thing. Somos Latinos. We always go a little too far. Tradition might be important to maintain our culture and family values, but we get to evolve and make our mark on that tradition. To the brides and grooms-to-be, please, go crazy with your weddings. Celebrate love, even if it means you might fall off a horse, or, worse, fall on top of your bride. It’s the thought and energy behind it all that counts. Plus, if something goes a little wrong, it’s not always bad to be the chisme. Felicidades.
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