20 Cakes That Are Brutally Honest And Just Plain Grosero
Cakes have been used as a celebration for centuries. In fact, the word “cake” has a Viking origin: the word kaka in Old Norse (ha, we know what you are thinking… it sounds like a certain Spanish word, eh?). However, these sweet delicacies are sometimes infamous for how inappropriate they are or because, well, they are used to deliver brutally awful or honest messages. We found some pretty brutal cakes for all sorts of occasions… and shaped in all sorts of… well… you will see.
We found birthday cakes, despedida de soltera ones, and some of the most out there ones come from the frankly old-fashioned and terribly heteronormative gender reveal party tradition. Enjoy… or not! Do not try at home unless you really mean it!
1. Brutal honesty: los amores de verano son pasajeros
Many, if not most, of us have had a summer fling. It is part of growing up and also a common scenario of those first really tough heartbreaks. This cake is just so brutal that it hurts just like seeing that bus leaving with a loved one.
2. Just… ai nos vemos
We don’t know if the person who was taking the order at the bakery got it all wrong or if this is a passive aggressive way of breaking up with someone. Sale, bye, would be the perfect Spanish translation! The cake doesn’t look that good either!
3. We are so excited you are leaving… oh, sorry, te vamos a extrañar
That Whoooo is like a cold, pointy dagger to the heart. We are sure that whoever this cake was for was not that happy. Una bofetada con guante blanco, as your abue would say.
4. Puberty sucks, apesta feo
This might seem like a harmless cake, but reality bites. No, no one can keep calm at that age. Whoever had a slice of that cake will likely face the wrath of this teenager at some point in the coming year.
5. Someone is getting fired at the bakery
This is just so bad. The writing on the cake is frankly awful (un poco de esfuerzo, compas!) and the message reveals lack of care in all parties involved. You are better off with no cake at all, frankly. The whole thing just seems effortless!
6. What a Matt!
This takes the award for best use of passive aggressiveness. Yes, you got a cake, Matt, but you were also called a dick. Es en buena onda, tranquilo.
7. Ouch, this is an arrow straight to the heart
A cake message that could have been penned by a serial killer or a sadist. Imagine closing your eyes, opening to blow the candles and encountering this cold, harsh truth facing your one-year-older self. Ay, dolor!
8. You are the best… well, maybe
This gets extra points for honesty. What would your reaction be if you got this message that tries to be uplifting but ends up being quite insulting? We are sure that the work environment in this office is puebli chico, infierno grande.
9. Yes, your son drinks too much and maybe the dude at the bakery too
Seriously… we need almost no words for this one. It is wrong on so many levels, from its conception to its floppy but hilarious execution. We are sure Stefan grabbed those two bottled of JD to process all this info.
10. OK… taking your NFL fandom a bit too far
We would think that your 5-year-old’s birthday party is a happy event, right? Full of joy and with no room for negativity? Well, think again. We can only imagine the faces of the other parents when they saw this masterpiece. Seriously, dude, it is your kid’s party, stop being such an attention grabber.
11. We are all dying, second by second, year by year
Yes, every birthday is a kind reminder of all the achievements and joy we have experienced over the past 12 months. Or it could be a fierce, but sweet, reminder of our inevitable demise, of the fact we will soon end up buried or burnt into ashes. Hip hip hooray!
12. Yes, you are in your 40s, mi reinita
For many women in their 40s, birthdays can be bittersweet. This woman’s sisters decided to restregarle en la cara the fact that she is 44 now. Ha, ha, muy chistositas.
13. OK, then… this one needs little explanation
Despedidas de solteras are all full of phallic paraphernalia. But seriously, this is just a little bit too out there. We are not being persinados, but this is just a little bit too much…. and unappetizing. The message on the cake: “EAT ME. Ready for the big night?”. Tasteless.
14. This has got to be the worst prank ever or a very big #fail
We are sure that no one had the slice covered by this track of Woody’s chocolate poo. Que pinche asco! We feel bad for whoever got their birthday kinda ruined.
15. We celebrate this brave woman and her sense of humor: al mal tiempo, buena cara
First of all, it must be hard to deal with such a tough medical situation and be brave enough to share it publicly. But what is braver still is…
Having a party about it and a cake shaped like a pair of ovaries! She is lucky to have friends who help her travel this road with a gran sonrisa!
16. Talking about human reproduction, let’s face the elephant in the room: gender reveal cakes!
Gender reveal cakes might sound like a good idea, but sometimes they are just sexist and plain awful. Just look at this cake, which seems to have been designed by a silly teenager who hasn’t been told anything about how to deal with issues of gender and sex in a respectful manner.
17. Guns or glitter? Seriously!
We just can’t… so all men are violent trigger happy mafia dudes and all women are princesses covered in glitter and dressed with so much pink that it seems like a flamingo puked on them, right? Ladies and gentlemen, it is the twentieth first century, please take your old-fashioned gendered ideas somewhere else.
18. Ha, ha, ha… they said “sex”… ha ha (cue Beavis and Butthead laughter)
We found so many terrible cakes with this silly message that it is not even funny!
19. If only life was truly like this!
OMG, we want this to happen in real life! Imagine the faces of all the guests if a bunch of insects just flew out of the pastel.
20. Talk about hidden messages
This is either a cake for a woodworking enthusiast, or a not-so-subtle threat! Run for your life! This cake seriously looks like something out of the Saw horror movies.
Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org