Things That Matter

What If Harry Potter And His Hogwart’s Carnales And Rivales Were Latino?

Los Angeles Times / miifotos.com

Sports fans spend hours and hours fantasizing about dream teams, right? So us Latino cinephiles and potterheads can let our imagination fly and delve into the “what if”s surrounding the J.K. Rowling fantasy series. Sure, Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe were awesome as Hermione and Harry… but… what if… the whole movie franchise had been cast with past and present Latino talent? Wouldn’t it had been weird, awesome and empowering at the same time? The Harry Potter movie universe showed some diversity, but truly not enough (apart from a few Indian and black students in minor roles, Hogwarts was pretty white).

So these are come of our picks for our Mágico-Cómico-Musical Latino Harry Potter.

We can only say Abracadabra patas de cabra! 

The young Harry Potter
Our pick: Anthony Gonzalez

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: 5a833cae77e811b9ff07d451. Digital image. Sunny 99.1. February 13 2018.


The new Latino sensation voiced the amazing Miguel in the Pixar movie Coco. His amazing interpretative skills were also evident in his appearance in the TV show The Bridge. Gonzalez has a natural charm that travels beyond borders as evidenced by Coco’s huge international success.

Hermione
Our pick: Selena Gomez… duh!


Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: tumblr_ljs3y7IRoc1qh72ano1_500. Digital image. Historias de amores eternos.


Honestly, can you think of anyone else who is as sassy and smart and just plain cool as Selena? She would be a kick ass Miss Granger. As proven in films like Spring Breakers, Gomez is no longer the naive little girl that graced Disney shows.

But come to think about it, a young Ludwika Paleta would be the ideal young Hermione

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: Carrusel. Televisa


If you watched the cult Mexican telenovela Carrusel y’all know what I mean! Maria Joaquina was equally intelligent and independent, just like Hermione. 

Hagrid
Our pick: he would be beautifully played by Danny Trejo!

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: Sons of Anarchy. AMC.


Seriously, Don Machete is a tough guy but can also be vulnerable and caring. He would do just fine protecting the Hogwarts kids. 

Bellatrix Lestrange
Our pick: …. La Tigresa del Oriente! Grrrrrrr! Seriously!


Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.


Credit: 232139_4_5b6366ae51dd1. Digital Image. Ahora Noticias.


Think about it. No one better to convey the quirky weirdness of Helena Bonham-Carters than the cult Peruvian kitsch singer! 

Dumbledore
Our pick: Profesor Memelovsky

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: Odisea Burbujas. Televisa.


If you grew up in the 80s or have a thing for vintage Latino TV you will remember this crazy scientist who fought the evil and dirty Ecoloco. 

Ron Weasley
Our pick: a young Canelo Alvarez

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: ue_11_03_05_alvarez_original_original. Digital image. Bleacher Report.


OK, maybe this one is a bit of a stretch, but we can’t thing of any other badass and slightly dorky Latino redheads! But come to think about it, they kinda look alike, eh?

Dobby the Elf
Our pick: Mucha Lucha‘s Flea


Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.

Credit: Mucha Lucha. Cartoon Network.


Harry’s trusted little friend would need a Latino counterpart in our imaginary Latino potterworld. What about Flea from Cartoon Network’s wrestling cartoon Mucha Lucha? To be perfectly honest Dobby is a bit of a cobarde, so why not give our Hispanic Harry a bit more help with a fierce and loyal companion? 

Draco Malfoy
Our pick: Prince Royce

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: prince-royce-2018-vid-carlos-perez-billboard-1548. Digital image. Billboard.


The singer from the Bronx has that bad boy attitude that made Draco equally hateful and magnetic in the film series. Bachata! 

Gilderoy Lockhart
Our pick: Jaime Camil… obviously!

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: Jane the Virgin. ABC.

This was an easy decision. The egocentric and eccentric teacher would be amazingly played by Mexican actor Jaime Camil. Just think about his role as Rogelio De La Vega in  Jane the Virgin.

Severus Snape
Our pick: Diego Luna

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: Elysium. TriStar Pictures.

The Mexican actor has already made it big in Hollywood with his mix of dramatic talent and comedic savoir faire. This charolastra would be a great Snape and he is old enough now to embody the Hogwarts teacher if given una manita de gato by the makeup artists.

Peter Pettigrew
Our pick: Don Francisco!

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.

Credit: 9174afc8c101d85d_800x800ar. Digital image. NBC Universal Media Village.


The movie character was impressively played by Timothy Spall, but a Latino version could very well have beloved host Don Francisco. It would be great to see the Chilean icon in an entirely different persona. Sabadooooo gigante! 

Luna Lovegood
Our pick: Madison de la Garza


Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.

Credit: Desperate Housewives. ABC.


The quirky and amazingly unique little witch would be an ideal fit for Madison de la Garza, who played Juanita in Desperate Housewives. Her character was cute and cheeky at the same time… just ideal for Lovegood’s disposition.

Dolores Umbridge
Our pick: Laura Bozzo

Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: screen_shot_2017-05-20_at_11.22.48_am (1). Digital image. Soy502.


Bozzo’s TV persona is as manipulative, assertive and harsh as the implacable Miss Umbridge, perhaps the strictest teacher in Hogwarts. 

Sirius Black
Our pick: Miguel Bosé

Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.


Credit: miguel-bose-cr-Esteban-Calderon-2016-billbord-1548. Digital image. Billboard.


OK, the Spanish singer is not strictly Latino, but he is adored throughout our continent. He has plenty of experience in film sets and has that mysterious air about him that would make him an ideal candidate to play Harry’s godfather. 

Last but not least…. Hedwig
Our pick: Andean condor


Credit: Harry Potter franchise. Warner Bros.
Credit: Andean-Condor_Murray-Cooper. Digital Image. American Bird Conservancy.


Harry’s trusted magical owl is OK for a story set in posh Britain, but if it was set in Latin America what would be better than a majestic condor from the Peruvian Andes? 

But the iconic Chilean comic book character Condorito would also provide some amazing comic relief!

Credit: 1513910572-condorito. T13. December 21 2017.

Latinas Are Sharing What Their Eyebrows Tragically Looked Like When They First Tried Anastasia Dipbrow

Entertainment

Latinas Are Sharing What Their Eyebrows Tragically Looked Like When They First Tried Anastasia Dipbrow

We all know that eyebrows trends are cyclical. For every decade that there’s a pluck-everything-out-and-sharpie-it-on trend, there’s another that’s all about the au naturel “Blue Lagoon” look. For example, back in the 90s, the look du jour was pencil-thin arches that Latinas like Christina Aguilera and Cameron Diaz favored. But as the 2000s wore on and celebs like the Kardashians and Cara Delevigne grew in popularity, it was no longer the style to have barely-there brows. Instead, the fashion was big, bold, and bushy. And for those of us who were not naturally blessed with bushy brows, the only option was to march our butts into Sephora and invest in some Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Dip Prow Pomade. 

Anyone who’s tried ABH’s infamous Dip Brow Pomade knows that it takes a light touch to skillfully apply the makeup and avoid looking like Oscar The Grouch. With this particular brow pomade, a little goes a long way. But when you’re scrolling through Instagram for hours and seeing all of the Baddie Influencers in all their brow-licious glory, it can be easy to get carried away with your spoolie and angle brush. Hence, the over-filled brow trend was born. 

Naturally, with the advent of social media, all of our embarrassing eyebrow-related missteps are now documented publicly for the world to see forever. 

Recently, Twitter celeb @cakefacecutie posted an all-too accurate Tweet about the way her eyebrows used to look.

The tweet referenced the aforementioned Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Prow Pomade that had virtually taken over Instagram a mere few years ago. While the rest of us were trying to forget the brick-like ombre eyebrows that looked like they’d been tattooed onto people’s faces, @cakefacecutie was reminiscing about the good ol’ days.

Who knows how the over-drawn brow look started? A more natural-looking brow has come back into style since then, rendering the “Baddie” eyebrow look obsolete and embarrassing. But at the time, it had taken over the makeup world’s aesthetic pretty quickly and with a vengeance. We all knew that girl (or were that girl) who was walking around with perma-RBF because her brows were penciled into a terrifying scowl. 

Obviously, @cakefacecutie’s tweet struck a chord, because soon her followers were sharing their own personal stories of their eyebrow evolution.

It seemed as if Twitter users were practically jumping at the chance to chime in with their makeup horror stories. 

Even this girl’s cat was side-eyeing her questionable eyebrow decisions. 

Of course, there were more than a few Latinas who shared their pics of their too-thick fake dark brows.

Let’s be honest: Latinas have never really been able to resist a thick brow (we’re looking at you, Frida!)

Back in the day, it seems as if no one was immune to the shiny allure of the dip-prow pomade!

As we said before, we blame the trend on the emergence of Cara Delevigne as Tumblr’s new It girl. We all wanted bold brows and if we had to resort to Sephora to get them, then that was just the risk we were willing to take. 

How could we forget the concealer-under-the-brow look?

Of course, an over-done eyebrow look wouldn’t be complete without “carving out” your eyebrows with a too-light concealer to really define the look with sharp edges. Because heaven forbid one hair is out of place.

As more and more people added their memories to the Twitter thread, the photos became funnier and funnier.

Maybe the Universe allows bad brow trends to happen so we can laugh about it years later on Twitter? Just a thought.

Some people’s pictures honestly looked like they were joking, the photos were so over-the-top:

There’s something about eyebrow trends that makes people go blind to the oddity of what they’re doing to their faces. And so many of us were walking around like this without anyone stopping us. Let’s be honest: friends don’t let friends overfill their brows with ABH Eyebrow Pomade. 

Unfortunately, because of the way fashion works, we’re sure that we’re currently indulging in some sort of trend that will make us look back and cringe in years to come. Maybe it’s our beloved high-waisted jeans, or the drawn-on freckles, or the resurgence of the 90s face-framing tendrils. But, one thing’s for sure: we’ll all be roasting ourselves on Twitter for thinking we looked good.

This Latina Got A Text From Her Ex Right Before His Wedding Day And Twitter Is Wrecked

Fierce

This Latina Got A Text From Her Ex Right Before His Wedding Day And Twitter Is Wrecked

What would you do if an ex of yours were to hit you up out of the blue? To some it might not be a big deal, to others, it might be a little weird, and to many, it might just be a little random.  

Added plot twist: what would you do if an ex of yours were to hit you up right before his wedding day? What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Alexa, play “Someone Like You” by Adele. 

Last week, Twitter user Alexsa Sanchez Aquilar tweeted out a text she received from an ex right before his wedding day.

Yup, you heard that right.

In a post to her Twitter feed, Sanchez Aquilar shared that her ex texted after out of the blue. The day before his wedding.  the “I’m getting married tomorrow. I wanted to send you this message. (My fiance knows I’m sending this to you) Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for always encouraging me, thank you for keeping me out of trouble, thank you for the times you took care of me when I was sick, and depressed. Thank you for loving me. If you haven’t already I hope you one day find love,” the message says.

While the woman who shared the tweet didn’t say much when sharing the initial screenshot beside “i–i’m speechless” –– other people on Twitter had a lot of mixed reactions as the tweet quickly went viral.

The really long message from her ex goes on to say, “If you loved me that much when we were young I can only imagine how strong people and powerful your love is now. The way your heart is made it’s amazing. I know we were only kids when we dated but you taught me what love is. To the man who is lucky enough to have you as their wife I hope he treats you with care, I hope he knows who he has in front of him, I hope he shows you love and loyalty every day. You deserve that and more.”

“My point in all of this is, you are the reason why I know how to love someone. You taught me love, you taught me how to deal with my anger, how to deal with my depression and how to live life to the fullest and I’m grateful for you. I wish you love and happiness.”

BuzzFeed, who first wrote about the viral tweet, also reached out to Aguilar for comment. “At first, I didn’t know what to say. I started crying when I read the text –– it warmed my heart that I helped him be a better version of himself.”

But of course, many didn’t share Aguilar’s sentiment had questions about why the ex felt the need to send her a text the day before his wedding?

Like, should Aguilar have been like “congratulations, but are you sure about getting married?”

While some understood where @masonrain_ was coming from, they felt that perhaps the ex-boyfriend was simply reflecting and expressing his gratitude toward Aquilar –– even if the timing felt a bit sketchy.

But @masonrain_  flat out thought it was disrespectful to both Aguilar and the fiancé. It got people thinking and arguing about whether you’d be a little thrown off if your partner told you that they’d be reaching out to their ex the day before your wedding?

Ultimately, many Twitter users disputed these sentiments and arguments pointing out that in a lot of cases, breakups and past relationship make can make us stronger and that reflecting on them and growing from those mistakes is a good thing.

Plus, while some relationship may have ended badly –– you don’t always have to hold on to resentment or residual feelings of animosity for the rest of your life.

It sounds like Aguilar and her ex-boo went through a lot during their time together as a young couple, and it sounds like they look back at it fondly rather than negatively.

For one, Aguilar tells BuzzFeed that the texts weren’t weird at all –– despite everybody else’s two cents about the situation. She tells BuzzFeed that she and her ex had helped each other through difficult times. “We helped each other heal, I feel like no matter what happens, he and I will forever have respect towards each other,” she said.

Like Aguilar said we can all benefit from a broken heart and allow ourselves to see why a relationship might not have worked out and chalk it up it as a lesson learned.

I wanted to show that just because things don’t work out with someone, that doesn’t mean you should have hate towards them,” Aguilar said. “Regardless of everything, you were meant to be a part of that person’s life, and them, yours.”

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