Things That Matter

A Restaurant In Peru Has Been Fined $62,000 For What Many Say Is Blatant Sexism

A famed restaurant in Lima, Peru received a $62,000 fine for what authorities felt was its sexist menu. The upscale seaside La Rosa Nautica had an unusual practice of giving one menu to men and a different one to women. La Rosa Nautica is an international tourist attraction and favorite of the country’s upper class. Featured in guidebooks and on major lists of the best restaurants, it will now be forced to change its practice. 

The owners never believed it was sexist in the first place (because double standards are the beacon of equality), but the courts disagreed. 

Two different menus. Two different genders. 

La Rosa Nautica servers would hand women patrons a gold menu that listed all of the items available to order except one detail is omitted: the price. Men are given identical blue menus with the price included. The idea being — you guessed it — men will always pay for dinner, women will not. Perhaps the owners at La Rosa Nautica don’t believe nonbinary people eat. 

During the legal proceedings, the owners defended the practice as ensuring that women “enjoy a romantic evening” without fretting over the cost of their meals — in 2019. 

The La Rosa Nautica owners denied that their menus were discriminatory and that menus without prices, “extoll the position of women, considering it a pleasure for them to enjoy a romantic evening with their partner, without taking into account the cost of the services.”

La Rosa Nautica fined $62,000 and forced to change their sexist menu practice.

Nevertheless, the National Institute for the Defense of Free Competition and the Protection of Intellectual Property found the practice sexist in a 3 to 2 ruling. Now the restaurant must give people of all genders the same menu. 

“These small things may seem harmless,” Liliana Cerrón, an official with the agency that issued the fine, told the Associated Press. “But at the end of the day they are the basis of a chauvinistic construct reinforcing differences between men and women.”

On top of the $62,000 fine, the restaurant will have to offer a single menu, train staff, and display a public sign that states, “it is prohibited to discriminate against consumers on the grounds of origin, race, sex, language, religion, opinion, economic condition, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or other grounds.”

This isn’t the first case of a sexist menu. 

La Rosa Nautica isn’t the first restaurant to offer different menus to men and women or come under fire for it. In the 1980s, the L’Orangerie, a renowned restaurant in Los Angeles, was sued for sex discrimination by customers who did not like that servers gave women a white menu without prices and a green menu to men that included them. 

According to DW, some upscale German restaurants have “ladies menus” available upon request. 

“Dresden’s Moritz is one of the country’s few restaurants where female diners with a male accompaniment receive a separate women’s menu without being asked. Restaurant manager Loretta Meister told the German newspaper that although the menu never stirred any problems, ‘it’s a bit old fashioned.'” 

There’s an important reason men paying for dinner is sexist. 

How individuals choose to split their bills is nobody’s business, but when society does not give people a choice about who pays for what is when we get into trouble. For centuries men have been conditioned to be the “providers” and society was constructed to follow that belief. This is the justification for paying women less  — the implication being there should be a man at home paying for the rest. Moreover, when a man pays for a woman’s dinner there is the misguided notion that he is owed something in return. 

A 1985 study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly found that “rape was rated as more justifiable when the man paid all the dating expenses rather than splitting the costs with the woman.” A more recent study from 2010 found that men were more likely to expect sex if they paid for an expensive date. 

Nevertheless, a 2014 study found that in 77 percent of heterosexual relationships men had paid the bill on the first date. 

“As social roles start to change, people often embrace the changes that make their lives easier, but resist the changes that make their lives more difficult,” David Frederick, a professor of psychology at Chapman University, told The Huffington Post. “Who pays for dates … is one arena where women may be resisting gender changes more than men.” 

While it is not inherently sexist for a man to pay for a date, it is important to be mindful of the reasons why he might feel compelled to do so. At La Rosa Nautica patrons didn’t have a choice — and that’s not good for men or women. 

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Women Are Sharing Their Most Brutal Pregnancy Symptoms

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Women Are Sharing Their Most Brutal Pregnancy Symptoms

Pregnancy really does require a strong stomach.

Women in their first trimester of pregnancy experience extreme hormonal changes that can lead to some pretty bizarre symptoms. From extreme cravings, even for non-food items such as pica, to a heightened sense of smell, it often seems like a pregnant woman could be experiencing an actual possession.

Women on Reddit are sharing the most bizarre symptoms they wish people had given them a heads up about before they got pregnant.

Check them out below!

“Nosebleeds. Not currently pregnant, but when I was, I got nosebleeds every few days during the first and second trimesters.”- creativeandwonderful

“From my mom: I paralyzed her from the waist down for a few hours because I decided to take a nap on her spinal cord in the third trimester. The doctor’s response was ‘yeah you’ll be able to move again once they wake up.’ Pregnancy is pure body horror.”- AbsolXGuardian

That is awful. I’m glad it wasn’t permanent. I knew a mom of twins who had one of them move and dislocated some of her ribs. Just…holy cow. It’s scary to think about all the damage that tiny little being can do while inside you, not to mention when coming out. Then many years of them beating you up and wearing your body down. Thank goodness for those hormones that help you believe it’s all worth it.”- TCMueller

“This is mostly a 3rd trimester thing, but that when you are active and moving, it kinda rocks the baby to sleep.

But as soon as you lay down to go to sleep, baby wakes up and starts kicking and spinning.

Might not be super common (?), but I knew a lot of other mothers who complained about this, too.”- GingerMau

“Not a woman, but i wish i knew the warning signs of preeclampsia, Girlfriend was 7 months pregnant at the time, and had been complaining of generally not feeling good with a constant headache that would occasionally break for a bit, i came home from work(i work overnights) to her sleeping on the floor and i eventually got to bed but i woke up 3 hours later to hear a thud and she was having a seizure, turns out she went eclamptic, she ended up having a c section, daughter was in the nicu for a bit but both are doing great now. What really put things into how close my girlfriend was to dying was the doctors and nurses saying how few people they’ve seen go eclamptic and one of the nurses said shes only seen 3 cases in like 10 years and 2 of them died.”- LeButtSmasher

“How hungry you can be. All. The. Time. Especially twins.

Then how hungry you still are after baby comes.

Then his hungry you are while breast feeding.

And sometimes the weight doesnt go away. At least the kids dont care.”- kleigh1313

“I wish someone would have warned me about the constipation. Corollary: I wish someone would have warned me that ‘fiber supplement’ does not equal ‘stool softener.’ Today, we’re at 26 weeks gestation.”- InfernalWedgie

“Related– I did have a couple of friends warn me about constipation, but no one told me I would be as thirsty as I have been! I get constipated after any day where I didn’t drink a huge glass of water every single time I felt thirsty… but I’ve been constantly insanely thirsty since probably month 2. I’m drinking something like 8-10 12 oz glasses of water a day. And no, turns out it isn’t gestational diabetes… just pregnancy.

And lol, agreed on the fiber supplement– I’d say it was more of a gas multiplier than helpful. Real food fiber did better on that front (oatmeal, pears, prunes, sweet-potatoes. heck, even beans were better than the fiber supplement for me).”- badgersonice

“Your body produces a hormone called relaxin that helps loosen your pelvis in preparation for birth. Some women get waayyy too much too soon and it loosens everything to the point you lose mobility and every day all day is painful. Also your body pushes so hard during birth you can feel yourself shit your own asshole out.”- Jen_Itals

“During labor the “water breaking” is not one rush of liquid. it’s continuous and can occur for several hours. it’s horrendous and messy and incredibly awful to deal with. it feels like peeing but you have zero control over anything and if you tense up then everything is much more painful and weird feeling.

nobody ever told me that and i was VERY surprised to find out for myself.”-notgrass87

“YUP. Went to the hospital at 4CM, water broke the second I got into triage. Water continued to POUR out with every contraction until I laid down. An hour later, they decide to take me to L&D, I stand up, bam pouring buckets. Get to L&D, another big contraction and water pours out of me all over my poor nurses shoes. My god, I did not know my body could have that much liquid in it. It was insane. I was so embarrassed and kept saying sorry lol.”- The-Chonky-one

“To quote a doctor friend of mine: People don’t realize that it’s the worst day of their life for them, but for me it’s Tuesday. Stop worrying about embarrassing yourself.”- Klaus_Goldfish

“I had adult diapers given to me by my SIL (she had some unused ones left from her pregnancies). They are INCREDIBLY useful for if your water breaks, and after you give birth and there is blood, so much blood.”- CypripediumGuttatum

“I didn’t measure, but I’ve heard people describe it as 9 months of periods saved up and thought that was pretty accurate. I was more concerned by my 2nd degree tearing to be worried about the blood. They said if there were “clots” that was what to look out for (so if your placenta hadn’t all come out and could potentially rot inside you basically). There is no glamor and not much dignity in giving birth and the recovery. Good thing the babies are cute! 10/10 happy I did it once and would never do it again, props to the ladies that go for round 2+.”- CypripediumGuttatum

“Hair loss! After I had my kid I lost a ton of hair. I would pull fists full of hair during my showers. I thought there was something wrong with me because no one told me about this. Went to Google, totally normal and it happens to everyone. It grows back eventually and you’ll go through an awkward baby hair phase.”- sm1020

“Aahh something I actually know the science behind! So apparently when you’re pregnant, your head holds on to almost all of those dead hairs that your scalp would normally just get rid of everyday. We all lose some hair, but most of the time we don’t realize how much we lose, especially if you’re blessed with thick hair. So when you’re pregnant and your body is worrying about keeping baby safe and growing, it basically stops shedding dead hair, and then sheds it ALL AT ONCE right after baby is born. So you’re not actually losing more hair than normal, you’re just losing all of those dead hairs that you would have lost anyway over the course of your pregnancy. It takes some time to see that your hair is back to normal because your head is now growing all of those hairs back at once, but when all is said and done your hair isn’t any thinner than it was before baby! My hair stylist told me this when I started freaking out about my pregnancy and body changes. She saved a panic attack that day.”- aep17

“Tore up from the floor up” lololol. I’m 5 weeks postpartum and had my OB take a look today for any remaining stitches from my second degree tear. I tore alllll the way and I swore I could still feel some. She said that they were all gone, but then I went home and found a whole ass suture on my toilet paper. Took my first look down there and it looks like I was stitched up by Frankenstein. My taint straight up has a seam now.”- edgeofdoom

“My god, the pooping. I now I have a three month old, and while I can’t remember my first poop after delivery, I vividly remember crying on the toilet not being able to poop. And nobody warns you about the hemorrhoids. Mine were so big I couldn’t sit for two weeks, and poops came out in little nuggets. Sometimes I actually had to scoop it out. Going to the bathroom became an event. My husband said the sounds I made trying to poop were worse than what I did during labor.”- toot_toot_tootsie

“I had a total meltdown in the hospital because my entire extended family was on the phone with my mom asking to come over to visit. “They just want to see you because they love you!” Um, no they want to see a cute new baby while I’m still bleeding heavily and have to use a squirt bottle after I pee, so… no.”- killergiraffe

“This times 1,000. Mine was fine, but I follow a woman on Instagram who lost her daughter full term because the doctor didn’t induce. She had signs of cholestasis and wasn’t diagnosed for awhile, then went to the hospital for lessening movements, failed a NST and then HE SENT HER HOME.

Every time I read her story I am angry on her behalf. I know she’s said she felt uneasy, and the way doctors dismiss our concerns in general let alone while pregnant, I imagine she ignored her feelings because she trusted the doctor and didn’t want to be pushy. I’m a loud mouthed person and I still failed to assert my needs during my last pregnancy. I’m pro-medicine but people need to understand that there is a valid reason that people mistrust doctors. Please anybody reading this – advocate for yourself!!! Trust in modern medicine but if your instincts are telling you something is wrong, trust them.”- thatcondowasmylife

“L&D nurse here, and I just wanna say that while you can pass blood clots as big as a tennis ball, it’s not “normal.” We tell our patients if they pass blood clots bigger than an egg, they need to let their nurse or OB doctor know! Big clots like that can cause a patient to have a hemorrhage, and patients don’t realize this, but you can hemorrhage up to like 6 weeks postpartum! Also, if you’re bleeding heavily enough to have to change your pad hourly or more, please call your doctor. Your nurse will probably do a fundal massage a million times before you get discharged, and I always encourage my patients to learn how to do it because it helps ensure the uterus is doing what it should do!”- little_ginger1216

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Women Are Commiserating About The Predatory Things Men Do To Make Their Internal Alarms Go Off

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Women Are Commiserating About The Predatory Things Men Do To Make Their Internal Alarms Go Off

Toxic masculinity might not always be so easy to report. Sometimes, because of how outlandish, how underhanded it is, we often struggle to report it as women. After all, fears of being too outspoken, or “dramatic,” or sensitive loom large.

Recently women on reddit decided to speak out about the things men do that scare them that men might not often realize.

The responses to the Reddit post were pretty eye-opening and relatable.

“Getting really intense about our relationship/ friendship really early on. A lot of guys turn women into this kind of fantasy thing that’s supposed to make them whole/ help them change or whatever. Sir I am the main character in my own life, not just a supporting one in yours. When you put that pressure on me right away abs without reciprocation, I know that I don’t actually matter, you’ve been taught that women serve you.”- clarkthecatismyguy

“I have gone on a lot of dates in the last few years and every single time the reason for me having doubts and calling things off has been this exact thing. I always feel like the side character in the conversation, while simultaneously carrying the conversation (not always but a lot of the time). A lot of effort with very little pay off. They’ll never ask questions, just waiting for me to react to their ‘wild’ stories and them trying to ‘educate’ me on things they like because I’m so unenlightened. Then after the date, instantly saying they’re very interested in me when they know literally nothing about me, due to not asking a single question about my own interests or life. It’s like… what planet are you on? What do you think you even like about me? You don’t know me.”- OtherSideOfTheTune

“Messages you on a dating app commenting on having found your profile and that they are in the same location as you, they can see you but you can’t see them. I had a guy do this on a fully packed train I was on to go to work. I’m not an anxious person but it felt really uncomfortable.”- elgrn1

“English isn’t my first language so I can’t really generalize this but asking if I need a ride and keep pestering me when I decline.

I used to walk home from school when this old man literally parked his car in front of me while I was crossing a small parking lot and asked if I needed a ride. I lied and said the house at the end of the block was my house. He did it a bunch more times until I had to change my walking route. It was a longer way but I felt safe again.”- Scarlet_B9

“I had to walk the long way to and from school because there were a series of assaults on schoolgirls. It’s so unfair; rapists rape and we’re the ones who have to adjust our behaviour.”- allhailtheboi

“Following you to your car to get your number.

Don’t. Ever. Do. That.”- dadadawn

“A man chased me out of a bar and into the street one night to get my number. I’d like to say that’s the worst part of the story, but it’s not. He wasn’t chasing me to get my number for himself–he was doing it for his friend. They were both in their early 30s.

Literally none of that is okay. Don’t chase people. It’s not cute. I blame romcoms for people failing to see how uncomfortable this makes women.”- RoeRoeRoeYourVote

“I took the light rail from school to home and this one guy decided he was going to sit next to me on a decently empty light rail. I was just minding my own business. He started asking pretty personal questions. I ended up learning he was in a relationship!! (So was I at the time). He literally missed his stop to get off at the same stop as me and wanted to walk me home. I wasn’t comfortable with that for obvious reasons so I told him he can go that way to take the light rail back to his stop because I gotta go this other way, and he wouldn’t leave until I gave him some sort of contact info.

This is only one of many instances I dealt with men going out of their way to make me feel uncomfortable on the street or on public transport, it’s extremely awkward and quite scary while it’s happening since you don’t know who these people are and how they will react if you don’t smile, nod and act friendly until they’re gone and leave you alone.”- katsaurus

“I want to add strangers offering rides. Has happened to me so many times. A guy once watched me walk past his car at a cross walk and when his light turned green he had followed me, like had to do a U turn to get to where I was to offer me a ride. I’m obviously not going to get in a car with a stranger so they’re either stupid or dangerous.”- SailorSpoon11

“I had a mild creeper problem with a guy I worked with. Too vague for me to go to HR about but serious enough that I got a new position in a different lab.

The final day of the job I was leaving, dude showed up while I was testing at our new site, which wasn’t staffed yet and where we didn’t spend much time. 3 story building, nobody else would be there until the next day. He worked night shift and it was maybe 11am. The only way he could have known where I was was if he’d been watching me or if my shift partner had told him, I never found out which.

There was only one door to the lab and he was blocking it. I thought he was there to kill me. He’s 6’4″ and I’m just under 5’3″.

He congratulated me on my new job and then left a “goodbye gift”. It was the gift he got from me from the office secret Santa, nine months earlier, which he had not unwrapped, and had then wrapped again, to look like a different gift.

Then he left and I used the lab phone to call first my husband and then an off duty coworker I trusted and told them exactly what happened in case I didn’t make it home, then called the south site security guard to escort me to my car. I still didn’t call HR because the guy knew where I lived. I went to my new job and he didn’t talk to me again and I was never on site alone again.

I had a lot of nightmares about it and I still panic if someone blocks a door.”- techlabtech

While talking online and I say “I don’t know about meeting up” and their response is “You are more likely to be raped by someone you actually know in person”

Yup… Not meeting up now.”- curious-lycanthrope

“I’ve been approached several times in public by random men who say they want to be friends with me. One leaned in really close to have a conversation and asked me where I was from and where I live. Another grabbed my hands and remarked on how soft my skin is. Another one literally locked arms with me and dragged me to a coffee shop to “get to know me” and then later told me to come with him to a more private place for a view of the city. I weakly joke about it sometimes but in the moment it really does make me nervous. I don’t know if I just look really unimposing (I’m an Asian woman but I’m taller than average?) but I’m not sure why it happens. Regardless, please don’t just grab random women, even out of friendliness, and respect personal space.”- kerbula

“Asian woman here too. This happened to me a lot in NYC. A few times I got so sick of it I’d scream at them in the middle of the street and make a scene. They usually skitter away immediately. I hate to do that, but it’s just infuriating.”- foodsexreddit

“It’s so creepy. Most recent time that happened I was just taking a walk by myself to unwind from confinement and this dude just catches up with me and says he want to be my friend, just asking a bunch of personal questions and wanting to know exactly where I live. Eventually I told him I’m married and he said “oh I just want to be friends”. I was originally gonna go the same way he was going but ended up taking a different path.”- naughtydismutase

“I’m a bartender, and it’s amazing how tactless people can be as they get drunker. They just want to keep me by them by asking me question after question, so I have to cross the line into being rude if I want to put a stop to it. Sometimes, people come up with actually some pretty silly things to ask me, and it can be fun to engage them. But I absolutely HATE:

  1. is this your only job? Where else do you work?
  2. do you live close to here?
  3. oh you’re closing huh? When do you usually get out of here?
  4. when do you work next? Do you normally work on this day of the week?
  5. what are you doing after this?

I don’t think ppl always realize how they sound when they ask me these questions but I’ve honestly been asked them so much its ridiculous. And honestly, threatening undertones aside, they’re the most utterly boring questions you could ask someone. The worst of the worst of small talk. How some men manage to be both unnerving and bore me to tears at the same time is utterly fascinating.”- FudgeJudy4booty

“Or following me to do it. I’ve had several guys stop me in the street and explain they saw me 5 blocks back and have followed me all that way to talk to me. I guess they think it’s a compliment they were that committed to come after me. For me it’s terrifying and unhinged.”- Own-Bridge4210

“The maintenance guy at a condo I now rent out still thinks I’m a rude bitch for not wanting to talk to him first time we met, which was me alone walking a puppy at a park across the street from the condos. Never properly introduced himself or anything, just starts asking me if I’m new and which unit I moved into.

Alarm bells were flying off in my head at this guy who was clearly over 20yrs my senior asking where exactly I live and then he got extremely butthurt over me ignoring him and walking away.”- Ixi7311

“Any time someone tries really hard to convince me he’s a “nice guy”. Every guy I’ve met that desperately brings it up every chance he gets isn’t usually very nice. It always makes me wonder what are they trying to hide? Like why do I have to think you’re nice? Prove it with your actions, don’t tell me repeatedly.”- ElectricPinkMango

“I had a taxi driver hit on me, question me about my love life and ask for my number. I was literally locked in a moving vehicle with the guy, how are you supposed to feel safe saying no?! Luckily, I think he was just a nice clueless guy so I felt safe enough to negotiate and take his number instead of giving mine out.”- ineedapostrophes

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