Things That Matter

These 20 Pieces of Dating Advice from my Latina Mother Shaped My Love Life

Navigating the dating world is tough on your own. Thank the Lord for our Latina moms that shower us with (mostly) sound advice. The trick to this advice is following it without becoming a mojigato. I  remember my mom singing the praises of Bibaporu whenever we felt ill as kids. Now, when my boyfriend is sick I take care of him with this magical formula. Maybe my mom was on to something. Here are some other tidbits of advice I’ve received over the years from my beloved mama.

Leave the Pursuing to Him

Credit: Twitter @Godlycourting

It is true that women are equal to men. However, there’s something honorable in the old-fashioned nature of a man asking you out. As much as you may like him, don’t ask him out. Cojetocon take it easy. Show your interest in subtle ways and let him handle the rest. This could set the tone for the entire relationship.

Embrace Your Sexuality, but Maintain Your Modesty

Credit: Instagram @mpalafox15

Ask anyone to describe Latina women and the most common word you may hear is “sexy”. My mom taught me that every Latina women has a fiery vixen(her words, not mine) inside of them. The secret of embracing this power lies in reigning the beast. You should strive to catch a man’s attention without letting it all hang out. Show him a hint of skin without ruining the impression that he can take you home to mom.

Always Wear High Heels

Credit: @danteov_seen

High heels will forever be a Latina’s best friend. My mom practically taught me to walk as a toddler in heels. In her opinion, they are the finishing touch on the perfect date night outfit.  My mom also told me to never date a man who ended up shorter than me while wearing my heels–or, at the very least, never date a man who has a PROBLEM with being shorter than me in my heels.

Highlight Your Coqueta Side–but Don’t Go Overboard

Credit: Twitter @FanMeagan

Men love a woman with confidence. However, there is a fine line between confident and cocky. My mom taught me to never hold myself above others. We are all equals. With this in mind, you should know your strengths and play them to your advantage. Show off your assets(but never your ass).

Give Your Fierce Love Only to Those that Deserve It

Credit: @lauramtipper

I learned from my mom that part of being Latina is loving deeply with a burning passion. There’s no doubt this keeps things interesting, but it’s important to slow down these instincts in the beginning stages of a relationship. You don’t want to drive them away, or worse–allow them to take advantage of your love. It is something that should be cherished and given away only when you determine the person is worth it. How do you determine this? By judging what their actions tell you.

Contain Your Crazy

Credit: Twitter @Fresh_Logic

Along with a Latina’s fiery, passionate love, comes a trait some may refer to as… crazy(Hey, there is such a thing as a good kind of crazy!). Every Latina has a slightly loco side. The trick is to contain it in order to nail a great first impression. If you let it out too soon, your man may end up running for the hills.

Wear Makeup, But Not Too Much

Credit: @haleyriv Haley Rivera

Makeup is a first date essential, but it’s important to not go overboard. Sure, you want him to see your bombshell self, but my momma taught me to think about the first morning spent together (“After the wedding, right nina?” she’d say). The last thing you want your man to be is shocked by your au natural face. A little correction and enhancement here and there never hurt, but make sure you’re recognizable.

Brush Up On Your Salsa Skills

Credit: @scottbroomephotography

This advice could apply to both men and women. Dancing is such an important part of courtship for Latinos. Practice your skills regularly to avoid embarrassment and impress your date.  In my experience it is a fantastic way to bond with your partner and get back in touch with your Spanish roots. Time to hit up that salsa club!

Practice Your Cooking Skills

Credit: Twitter @Nervousjr

My mom taught me everything she knows in the kitchen(once I was an adult and could appreciate it). Even though I believe cooking is in my blood, I had to practice regularly to enhance my skill set. What better motivation to practice than the opportunity to eat delicious food? My mom taught me to never be the type of woman who just serves confle for a meal(THE HORROR). There’s no better music to a Latina’s ears than hearing her man say, “Estay full.”

Always Keep a Clean House

Credit: Twitter @BigDaddyCane420

My mother remains infamous in my mind as the only person I know who hates candles. In her opinion, the singular way to make a home smell good is to keep it clean. Cooking and cleaning go hand in hand in proving you are “wife” material. Plus, keeping your house tidy relieves any stress of unannounced boyfriend or family visits.

Impress His Family

Credit: @mendesvtop

It’s commonly known when you date a Latino, you are dating his family. Don’t shy away from them and do your best to make a good first impression when you are introduced. Smile often and be genuine. If you happen to get a stamp of approval from his mom, well, the rest of the relationship will be smooth sailing.

Show Off Your Partner

Credit: Shelby Miller @ shelbsmiller

Your boyfriend may see your fiery, passionate side, but does the rest of the world? While I’m not advising for a public make-out session at every opportunity, it’s important the world sees how lucky you are. Show your boyfriend you are proud to be with him.

Embrace Your Faith

Credit: Ben White @benwhitephotography

Having common religious goals is important in any long term relationship. It provides an important foundation to build values on. The religion talk is not one to have on the first date, but it is important to discuss before things turn serious.

Speak Your Mind…

Credit: Christin Hume @Christinhumephotography

There are few and far between Latinas that have trouble expressing how they feel. Don’t shy away from your feelings. The right partner especially will honor them and do everything to make you happy.

…But Don’t Be Afraid to Compromise.

Credit: Twitter @JustinGuarini

It is one of the most important parts of any relationship. Be careful to control your stubborn attitude and bend on any minor disagreements that won’t matter in the long run. Your relationship will strengthen from these tests.

Balance Your Relationship and Your Friends

Credit: Twitter @omgrelatable

My mom always stressed the importance of never dumping friends for a guy. During the initial phase, of course, you and your man are going to be slightly obsessed with each other and wanting to spend every waking moment together, but resist the urge. You may need your friends later on(of course, you will need them anyway where you get married or not–

Growing up, I also heard some advice from my mom to my brothers about dating.

Don’t Let Your Machismo Take Over

Credit: Mike Fox @thefoxicon

Sure, it’s important for men to protect their loved ones–but never to the point it becomes degrading. My mom used to say, “Be sure you are thinking with the head that is ON YOUR SHOULDERS.”

Take Care of Your Car

Credit: Clement M @cmreflections

A Latino’s car is the chariot for his dates, and he will forever be judged by the look of it. Keep it clean and working well so it doesn’t give you a bad name.

Treat Her Like a Princesa 

Credit: Twitter @RichardTorres

Don’t be afraid to show your girl how you truly feel about her. Any woman loves to be spoiled, whether it be through gifts, attention, or acts of service. Don’t ever let her stop feeling appreciated.

Finally, the last piece of advice is one I think we should all hold dear:

Be Proud of Your Heritage

Credit: Twitter @sincerelyjexi

Embrace your Latina side and never let anyone dull your pride. They are eternally lucky to be dating you!

Here’s How To Maintain A Long-Lasting And Healthy Relationship According To Advice From Reddit Grandmas

Fierce

Here’s How To Maintain A Long-Lasting And Healthy Relationship According To Advice From Reddit Grandmas

@Samkelwe14 / Twitter

When it comes to relationships, there’s no doubt that some good advice can go a long way. Whether you’re in your early days or headed down the aisle, we found the best advice Reddit could give for you to apply for your blossoming relationship.

Check it out below!

Do two tasks for your partner and don’t make a big deal out of it.

“For me, my grandfather gave me the best advice. He said, ‘choose two things to do around the house that she never has to ask you to do. Do the best job you can do and take pride in it but never draw attention to or complain about it. Just do it and expect nothing in return.’ I cook dinner and do the dishes/cleanup cooking messes. It took my wife almost a year to notice. When she did however I would find my laundry was magically done on its own, folded and put away. When I told her she doesn’t have to do my laundry she stated “you always cook and clean for me! I figured it was the least I could do!” – u/Ironwolf9876

Be selfless between the sheets

” I feel like this same goes for sex – do that little bit extra to make your partner feel sexy and special every time. A little bit of selflessness on both sides adds up to a world of extra pleasure for each.” – philipjeremypatrick

Don’t always go for 50/50.

“The one I heard is “healthy relationships are not 50/50. Each person should be putting in 100%.” – reddit user

Give your S.O. the benefit of the doubt.

“The best relationship advice I have heard came from an interview Michael J Fox did where he talked about how his marriage had lasted so long. He said ‘We give each other the benefit of the doubt.’ If your SO does something thatakes you worried, angry or sad, ask them to tell you their side of the story before you let your emotions run wild. There is probably a reasonable explanation and a good reason for how he/she acted. That will help avoid a lot of conflicts and foster trust.” – Loive

If you’re arguing to win you’ve already lost.

“You shouldn’t be arguing trying to prove that you’re right or that she is wrong. You should be communicating what you each see the situation as and come to a mutual understanding or agreement. Relationships aren’t a competition. Even if you guys end up not agreeing, at least you’ll know why it upsets the other person and will know not to do that because it negatively affects them.” – cdotace

Be sure they’re the one.

“My mother asked me the night i proposed to my wife if i was sure i wanted to be with her. It made me mad in the moment, but i realized she made a valid point. 6 years and twin boys later, I have never been more sure about a decision in my life. Thanks mom.” – sillysimon12

Get married when you’re poor.

“I was fortunate enough to be invited to a party where there were several elderly couples. At the time, I was in my early twenties, and decided to take advantage of the opportunity. A couple in attendance had been married for over 60 years. I asked them, “What advice do you have for a young person like me? The woman said, ‘Get married when you’re dirt poor…’ My mind was blown. I thought to myself, “Wow, that is some incredible advice. Literally start a life together, and build it up from nothing. That would create an unbreakable bond and friendship.’ Then she finished with ‘… so you can’t afford to get divorced!'” – MutantCoach

Say I love you before you leave for work in the morning.

“1. Say I love you (and mean it) every morning before you leave for work. You may not see them again. 2. If they regularly do something small that annoys you, first see if you are able to stop being annoyed by it before asking them to change.” – Reddit user 

How do you do the little things.

“To achieve an amazing relationship, you need to consider what you do in the little things. What your girlfriend/wife is like when she greets you at the front door, over the table at breakfast, etc. These little things add up to 80% of the success of your relationship. Dedicate yourself and be focused completely in the moment in these little moments and you will achieve the best relationship that you have ever had.” – ImpulseTee

Carry the load. Know it’s like moving a sofa.

“I heard a comic once say a relationship is like moving a heavy, awkward sofa up 3 flights of stairs. The whole time you’re talking to the other person, and you wonder if they’re carrying their load, and it can be tough. But its easier than doing it alone.”  – beingtwiceasnice

Be on the same page before you get married.

“Being in love with someone is a good reason to date them, but not necessarily marry them. People fall in love all the time but if the two of you don’t agree on the important life decisions (kids, religion, fiscal responsibility, etc.) then your marriage is likely to face some serious challenges.” – bdd1001

A Man Ripped Into a Woman For Not Wanting To Buy Him Red Lobster and Twitter Had Some Thoughts

Fierce

A Man Ripped Into a Woman For Not Wanting To Buy Him Red Lobster and Twitter Had Some Thoughts

Red Lobster

*WARNING* a derogatory term casually used by the Twitter user profiled in this piece is in the exact opposite of our views and values*

Recently, a thread by @RoblesTeonna made the popular casual dining chain restaurant Red Lobster start to trend on Twitter. After Robles shared a text exchange between her and a man she was dating on social media, her 2,500 followers took to Twitter to express their opinions on the bizarre saga.

It all started when Robles posted a screenshot of a shocking interaction she had with a man she was seeing. In the text exchange, Robles shares some photos of delicious-looking tacos with a mystery man, asking him if he wants any. “I know you’re craving Red Lobster,” she says in the text convo. “But I also don’t have much money after paying my bills and it would just be easier on me”.

Instead of being grateful for Teonna’s offer to bring him food, the unidentified man instead responds callously, telling her not to “ask me what I want to eat [and] then tell me to pick something else ever again”.

Robles, understandably upset over the man’s rude response, tells him that she doesn’t like the way he’s speaking to her. “I’m offering to get you food & going out of my way to do so,” she explains to him. She then further explains that if he wants to continue to treat her so poorly, she’ll no longer associate with him.

The man takes his reaction even further by telling her that she shouldn’t have been trying to “play a position” she wasn’t “fit for”. Presumably, he is talking about the fact that she offering to buy him food and then later told him she didn’t have enough money for what he was asking for. “You’re clearly not on my level,” he told her. “And can’t afford to support a man of my caliber”. 

Needless to say, Teonna’s Twitter users had some strong opinions over this man’s entitled behavior. 

@RoblesTeonna’s post quickly went viral, racking up almost 37,000 likes, over 4,000 comments and over 8,000 retweets. Not only were her followers shocked by his surprising reaction to not getting Red Lobster, they were also shocked by his insistence that the woman he dates should “support” him–especially when that woman makes it clear that she’s short on cash due to paying her own bills. 

Although there is a pervasive belief that women resort to “hustling” men for dates in order to get free meals, the situation proves that the attitude of entitlement goes both ways. There are a myriad of different ways people of all genders use others to fulfill their own agendas. People were quick to point out this man’s hypocrisy with comments like, “Imagine demanding from someone else, what you can’t even provide yourself. Humans are exhausting”.

After @RoblesTeonna’s account of her experience with this man, the man decided to tell his side of the story. Spoiler alert: he does not come off as a hero.

After being contacted by someone via Facebook to address the situation, the man (who is identified as “Shawn”) explains that he and Teonna were not dating, although she “wanted to claim [him] as her man”. According to Shawn, he was not yet interested in Teonna, because “she’s not the only woman trying to impress [him]” and he “cannot just sit and give any woman a relationship with [him]”.

Thankfully, the entire internet had Teonna’s back enough to publicly explain the multiple reason why she’s better than this low-life man.

Contrary to what “Shawn” believes about himself, any person who treats another person like this (regardless of gender) is not worth the time of day. Periodt.

This person made a valid point about how this man was whining about something he could have easily provided for himself.

It’s obvious that this man doesn’t have the ability to provide for himself, so he relies on the women in his life to fill that need.

A lot of people were pointing out the absurdity of thinking that Red Lobster is the peak of American fine dining. 

It’s not like Red Lobster is some Michelin-rated gourmet food. It’s pretty much “Applebee’s Of the Sea”.

This person perfectly pointed out the hypocrisy of Shawn’s argument.

Presumably, a person of “high caliber” wouldn’t need to be supported, because they would have the resources to support themselves.

Even the reigning Queen of Twitter, Chrissy Teigen, got in on the fun:

Finally, a voice of reason among all this nonsense.