Things That Matter

Yes, People Are Tanning Their Buttholes And Here’s Why That’s Not At All A Good Idea

People are tanning their buttholes to regulate hormones and sleep patterns, at least that’s what some practitioners say. The new trend is called “perineum sunning” where people lay down in the sun, lift their legs, spread them open, and let their genitals and anus sunbathe. The Avengers: Endgame actor Josh Brolin seemed to have some experience. He shared his story on Instagram claiming he sunburned his “pucker hole.” 

It appears that while the world has death spiraled into horrific levels of income inequality, the planet is heating up at alarming temperatures, and the president of the United States is being impeached for bribery — some people just have nothing better to do than tan their anuses. 

Josh Brolin burns his butthole in the sun. Then tells the whole world about it. 

Credit: JoshBrolin / Instagram

“Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did,” Brolin wrote on Instagram.

Perhaps the most alarming part is that Brolin is not telling his impressionable followers not to do perineum sunning, but rather to not do it as long as he did. Wow, thanks for the advice Mr. Brolin, but you did not in any way even indicate how long you did it for, so how is anyone supposed to know how long to do it for? The problem is all the more obscured by the fact that you’re still encouraging people to do it. 

“My pucker hole is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain. I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid sh– but f— you nonetheless. Seriously,” he wrote with the hashtag #blackholesun (I chuckled). 

One might ask Mr. Brolin, if his regular skin gets sunburned why would he think his “pucker hole” would be an exception? Secondly, how dare he condemn the person who thought of this “stupid sh–” and not the people dumb enough to try it. But actors aren’t historically known for being the brightest crayons in the box. 

No need for actors to worry their pretty little buttholes about things like sunscreen in the year 2019 where the sun is the literal thing that might kill all of humanity. Throw your anus in the air, wave ’em like you just don’t care. What’s the difference we’re all going to die anyway? Oh, is that not a song…

Influencers want you to heat up that perineum, baby!

Credit: ra_of_earth / Instagram

There is a viral video that contains nudity where the process of butthole tanning takes place. One of the men explains how it works. I would request some peer-reviewed research before listening to these influencers, but that’s just me, a person with neurons in their brain. 

“In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,” the man who goes by Ra of Earth says in the video. 

If I exposed my anus to the sun in this here New York City, there would be a warrant out for my arrest. I would love to see a person with melanin try this and then have to explain to law enforcement that Thanos told them to do it. 

Many of the influencers cite researching Taoism as the reason they’re all doing this. Sure, OK. 

“For the past few weeks I have included sunning my bum and yoni into my daily rising routine,” an influencer named Metaphysical Meagan wrote on Instagram

She said instead of drinking coffee she tans her genitals in the sun. I don’t think any of these people know how photosynthesis works. 

Obviously medical professionals think this is stupid as hell. 

“There is no evidence that sunbathing in this way has any effect on physical well-being,” Dr. Diana Gall of UK-based online doctor service Doctor 4 U told Insider. “Practicing mindfulness comes in many different and safer forms, and there are no extra benefits of doing this naked in the sun.” 

Getting vitamin D from the sun is great, your butthole isn’t more sun absorbent, though. Meditation is great, you don’t need to break public nudity laws in order to do so. In fact, this technique might actually be worse for you in the longterm. 

“A sustained period of doing so could lead to long term sun damage,” Chemist 4 U founder, Shamir Patel told Insider. “I would suggest that going on a long walk in the sun is much more beneficial, and if you’re in need of a boost, then taking a supplement is much more practical than perineum sunning.”

Please don’t do this. Thank you.

This Man Suffered From A Rare Syndrome That Burns You From The Inside Out, All Because He Had A Reaction To His Anti Depressants

Things That Matter

This Man Suffered From A Rare Syndrome That Burns You From The Inside Out, All Because He Had A Reaction To His Anti Depressants

@RushReads / Twitter

*Warning: Graphic images ahead*

A man’s reaction to anti depressants was so bad, his skin started peeling off his face. The kin on his entire body flaked off, leaving his flesh exposed and at risk of infection. He was diagnosed with a rare syndrome caused by medication that targeted his bi-polar disorder. 

Jonathan Laird, from Greenfield, Indiana, was prescribed lamotrigine in April 2016 to boost his mood after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Within a month of taking the pills, the 38-year-old was suffering flu-like symptoms and his eyes became so sore it felt as through ‘glass was piercing them’.

Laird was diagnosed with Stevens-Johnson syndrome.

The symptoms escalated quickly, and he developed red raw sores inside his mouth and lips, as well as on the back of his throat and across his entire body.

Mr Laird was taken to a hospital and was immediately transferred to an intensive care unit where he was diagnosed with Stevens-Johnson syndrome (SJS).

Stevens-Johnson syndrome is a rare but serious disorder that affects the skin, mucous membrane, genitals and eyes. The mucous membrane is the soft layer of tissue that lines the digestive system from the mouth to the anus, as well as the genital tract (reproductive organs) and eyeballs. Stevens-Johnson syndrome is usually caused by an unpredictable adverse reaction to certain medications. It can also sometimes be caused by an infection —and in Laird’s case, it was a reaction to Lamotrigine.

The syndrome often begins with flu-like symptoms, followed by a red or purple rash that spreads and forms blisters. 

The affected skin eventually dies and peels off. Stevens-Johnson syndrome is a medical emergency that requires treatment in hospital, often in intensive care or a burns unit.

The skin on Mr Laird’s face started rotting and flaking off, leaving his flesh exposed and prone to infection. 

Doctors wrapped his face in pig skin grafts, which keep affected wounds sterile before a proper skin graft can be done. They have long been used as a wound dressing in burned patients.

When Mr Laird was admitted to hospital, doctors scrambled to save as much of his healthy skin as they could.

They even stitched his eyes shut for two weeks in a bid to protect his eyeballs because the disorder had made them ultra-sensitive to light. He recalled: ‘My eyes started to feel like they had little pieces of glass in them, it was very uncomfortable, and I was scared to touch them or rub them because it literally felt like I was going to cut my eyes. ‘I thought, “Is this Stevens Johnson Syndrome?”’

‘When you have Stevens Johnson Syndrome you basically burn from the inside out,’ said Jonathan.

‘It starts as a rash and then the rash erupts into blisters. ‘They stitched my eyes shut to protect my vision, they bound my hands together so I couldn’t rip the tube out that was down my throat. ‘I don’t remember much. I fell in and out of consciousness. ‘I felt like I was dreaming all the time, I don’t think I really knew that my eyes were stitched shut. ‘They also put pigskin all over me to prevent infection. ‘They were afraid I was going to get pneumonia at one point, so they had to make sure that everybody who came to see me had gloves on and gowns.’

Jonathan was unable to speak and had to communicate with his family by writing down answers to their questions. 

He said at one point he wrote ‘am I going to die?’ which was hard for everyone to read. After 11 days in ICU, he was transferred to a burns unit and his eyes were unstitched after two weeks. Jonathan was released from the hospital last summer and continues to recover while writing a blog about the condition. He added his hope was to show that those affected by Stevens Johnson Syndrome are not alone. ‘Be brave and you’ll get through this, and the person you’re going to be on the other side of this is a much stronger person,’ he said.

Steven Johnson Syndrome(SJS) affects only one in a million people in the United States, with only 22,000 new cases each year.  

The damage the syndrome causes in just a few short weeks can include(perhaps for the rest of your life) any of the following: Sores in mouth/throat/eyes/skin, several blisters, scars, shedding of skin and internal organs, chronic pain and fatigue, blindness and in some cases death.  There is no way to stop the avalanche of these reactions and in the words of medical professionals “it needs to run its course through the body.”  The treatment does include pain killers, antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, steroids, IV’s for hydration and food.  SJS is aggressive, devastating and extremely painful for loved ones to witness.  

Cheetos Released The Official Name For The Cheesy Dust Left On Your Fingers And Some People Seriously Hate It

Culture

Cheetos Released The Official Name For The Cheesy Dust Left On Your Fingers And Some People Seriously Hate It

Pixabay

Frito-Lay has declared the cheesy residue left on your fingertips after eating Cheetos is called “cheetle.” Don Cheadle might be feeling some type of way right now. The press release has caused some confusion on social media with many Twitter users refusing to accept that this is the correct terminology and questioning its origins.  

To blow matters perhaps even more out of proportion, actor Ed Helms claims a comedian came up with the word “cheedle” in the 1980s. Some users even pointed out that the term was added to Urban Dictionary in 2005. 

Frito-Lay declares Cheetos dust “Cheetle” in official press release.

“We’ve seen the way Cheetos lovers don their red- and orange-dusted fingers like a badge of honor, and we’re always looking for ways to help them step up their snacking game,” Brandi Ray, senior director of marketing, Frito-Lay North America said in a press release. “The only way to truly take popcorn to the next level is to add the iconic Cheetle, the cheesy dust that will entice Cheetos fans to snack on this popcorn all year long.”

The move to bring Cheetle into the popular lexicon comes as Frito-Lay announces new Cheetos popcorn. The snack is popcorn with Cheetle as a topping in two flavors including Cheddar and Flamin’ Hot. 

“Snacking on Cheetos has become a special experience for many fans, including the experience of having the iconic cheese dust left on your fingers,” Rachel Ferdinando, senior vice president and chief marketing officer of Frito-Lay North America, told TODAY. “We (Frito-Lay executives) have long called that red and orange cheese dust ‘Cheetle,’ but it became clear from our fans the special interest they had, so we knew it was time to share our beloved name for this magic ingredient.”

Where did the term “Cheetle” come from? What is the truth? 

Ferdinando claims that Frito-Lay trademarked the term in 2005. An earlier form of the word was spelled “cheedle.” A 2005 entry in Urban Dictionary defines cheetle as, “the orange, powdery residue left on your fingers after eating Cheetos.” Perhaps, a Frito-Lay employee submitted it? 

“Frito-Lay officially trademarked ‘Cheetle’ in 2005, but the company hasn’t used (it) externally in much capacity until now and haven’t told consumers about it,” Ferdinando said. 

However, the Hangover actor Ed Helms believes the term was invented by Saturday Night Live alumni Rich Hall, who coined “cheedle” in his book sniglets

“An earlier form of Cheetle, spelled cheedle, was found to be one of the sniglets (fun coinages) of comedian Rich Hall in the 1980s, which he defined as ‘the residue left on one’s fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.’ The first known proper use of Cheetle, as such, was found in a finger-painting online computer game as early as 2004 and 2005, after which the name was first popularly defined on Urban Dictionary,” according to Dictionary.com.

Many Twitter users did not know how to feel about Cheetle. 

As can only be expected there were many Don Cheadle jokes, but perhaps the best was the one that differentiated between Don Cheetle (the orange-tanned Donald Trump) and Don Cheadle (the Golden Globe-winning actor). 

Some on Twitter wanted to keep things simple.

Other users were just not feeling the name. Why call Cheetos dust “cheetle” when you can call it “Cheetos dust”?

“I love you Cheetos, but no. It’s Cheeto Dust, end of story. In no world am I ever gonna say I have Cheetle on my fingers, WTF,” one user wrote. 

Helms wasn’t the only one on social media upset that Rich Hall wasn’t getting his due credit. 

“So @Cheetos thinks they have come up with the perfect name of the dusty cheesy residue left on your fingers… Sorry, the name Cheetle was used by Rich Hall on NNTN as one of his @SnigletsOFC back in the ’80s,” another user wrote. 

The future is still unwritten, who knows if the term “cheetle” will ever catch on? Personally, I don’t converse about Cheetos enough for it to ever come up casually. Nevertheless, Frito-Lay’s branding effort clearly worked: we’re all talking about cheetle today.