Things That Matter

People Are Sharing The Most Stupid Things They’ve Ever Heard

People say a lot of things. You’ve probably been guilty of it, too: telling an exaggerated story to seem cool on a first date or citing a meme like a scientific article. Sometimes we just fumble our words, or something gets lost in translation—pero no hay pedo, it happens to everyone (communication is hard, tbh). Even still, occasionally we find ourselves in a truly shocking interaction, where someone shares a questionable idea or makes a bizarre statement that leaves us thinking . . . what just happened? The internet is teeming with these strange and disorienting tidbits, and we are totally into it.

When asked “What’s the dumbest thing someone has told you?” Reddit users responded accordingly:

This person had too much faith in the power of floppy disks, and also didn’t understand the concept of the internet. But it was probably the 90s, so we’ll let it slide.

Credit: Pinterest

“Someone once told me they saved the Internet on a floppy disk. They actually saved their dialup connection shortcut but they truly were convinced that it contained the whole Internet.” –timetraveller1977

Someone who doesn’t know history very well thought one of the Beatles was the first president of the United States to be assassinated (the truth: the first US president to be assassinated was Abraham Lincoln, and no Beatle has ever been president).

Pinterest

“John Lennon was in fact the first president to be assassinated.” –Dame_Mort

This young person asked an existential (and actually kind of poetic) question about the relationship between the sun and the ocean.

Credit: Unsplash

“Watching a sunset on the ocean one day when a late teens person asked me why the ocean doesn’t put the sun’s fire out.” –dosta1322

This person must have REALLY sharp vision.

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“That windshield wipers wear out faster in the middle, because that’s the part you look through the most often, as if your sight is an energy beam that degrades the rubber or something.” –Habaneroe12

This woman didn’t quite comprehend the concept of a tire.

Credit: Shutterstock

“My ex wife (wife at the time) came home late, said she had a flat tire and that her and her girlfriend were able to put the spare on (I taught her that) then she said there was something she didn’t understand. She said she saw a screw in the tire and wanted to know that if the screw was in the top of the tire, why was the bottom flat.” –Tool_Time_Tim

This interaction speaks for itself (smh).

Credit: Global Look Press

“Her: I think the law that requires you to wear a seatbelt is sooooo stupid. My body, my choice.

Me: Well what about your five-year-old son? You wouldn’t want to hurt him if he was riding with you, right?

Her: (shrugs) When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.

Me: Really? That’s how you feel about that? I mean…why even look before crossing the street, if ‘When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go’?

Her: Actually, I usually don’t look when I cross the street.

Edit: She is under 30, but already has terrible knees. Why? Get ready…she was hit by a car in her teens while she was crossing the street. –Gween_Waynjuh

This person might not have gotten enough Parental Guidance…

“My step sister told me we should see the PG13 movie because PG meant ‘pretty good.’” –itti-bitti-kitti

This person may not know how to count (and may want to study A LOT before trying to complete the math section).

“Friend in high school told me he didn’t take the SAT because he heard it’s easier the second time.” –ImReallySorryMom

This person might have skipped biology too many times in high school.

Credit: Shutterstock

“If you swallow your chewing gum, your lungs will stick together.” –marchese51

This person really, really needs a geography lesson. And a social studies lesson. And a critical thinking lesson.

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“I was teaching about hurricanes shortly after Christmas break a few years ago and when I brought up the Caribbean Sea, I asked if anyone went there over their break. A couple of hands went up, and one boy shouted out ‘yo, we went to Fake Mexico, and nobody even spoke Mexican.’

When I asked him what he meant by Fake Mexico and where he actually went, he said ‘Man, I don’t even know.’” – Gneissisnice

This person does not know much about etymology, but these words do sound similar (and we have to admit, the idea is kind of interesting):

Credit: Amazon

“The root word of infant was ‘infinite’, therefore, infants have infinite wisdom.” –She_Likes_Cloth

This person needs a calendar (though it really shouldn’t be necessary).

Credit: Shutterstock

“Someone once asked me and I quote, “When is 9/11 again?” I didn’t know if they were joking or not so I laughed. They were serious.” –OfficialAzif

Here’s What My White Husband Has Learned About The Latino Culture One Day At A Time

relationships

Here’s What My White Husband Has Learned About The Latino Culture One Day At A Time

My husband and I have been married for a little over three years now and he is still learning so much about myself and what it means to be Latino. I’m not talking about me having a big Cuban family all stationed in Miami (3-0-5 🙌🏽) or the fact that the best jokes in Netflix’s “One Day At A Time” are in Spanish. I’m talking about the little things that to me have always been a normal part of life. This is what has continuously caught him off guard…

If you ask him, I’m already turning into my abuela because of the things he is finding out, which to me is a compliment. Here are just a few of the things that he is starting to understand about our future together.

1. Seasoning your beans is hard AF but abuela makes it look easy.

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No matter how many times I try or how many techniques I use, my bean always turn out bland AF. This wouldn’t have been a problem if he didn’t have my abuela’s frijoles negro because now he has a reference point as to what beans are supposed to taste like. Though, he doesn’t cook so my bland beans will have to do.

2. That whole personal space thing is a white construct.

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I missed my hot mess buddy!

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One of the first things he realized about being married to a Latino is that all that personal space he once had is gone. I even go into the bathroom to talk to him when he’s in the shower because that’s 👏🏾 how 👏🏾 I 👏🏾 was 👏🏾 raised. 👏🏾

3. Family obligations cannot and will not be avoided.

Even if it means that you have to spend $800 to travel 3,000 miles back home for a weekend for your nephew’s first birthday, there is no getting out of family events. #BasedOnTrueEvents

4. My family raised me to be super eco-friendly (and very frugal).

The first time my husband saw me washing a Ziploc bag he asked if we had run out and that he could get some from the store. My response: “But, like, why do you want to waste money like that?”

5. Selena was and will always be La Reina.

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I know. I know. How did he not know this before is what you’re thinking, right? But you can’t hold it against him. I don’t think Selena had a very big following in West Virginia. There was no way he could have known that she is more relevant now than ever. Not to mention that she still wins Latin Billboard awards and I play her music nonstop.

6. My abuela’s obsession with reusing containers has been passed down.

After he came down from the initial shock of thinking that I left the sour cream in the Tupperware cabinet overnight, he made a joke about me becoming my abuela. I’ve never been so proud.

7. Calling a loved one “gordo” is not offensive.

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@f_uanteik #migordo #iloveyou #happiness #happynights

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Because, you know, someone calling you “my little fatty” is not okay. Imagine his shock when he heard a family member call me “gordito” in front of him. He was shook.

8. Every chore I do is just an excuse to put on Celia Cruz and dance.

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Sure, I can cook in silence but nothing makes my time in the kitchen more enjoyable than some “La Negra Tiene Tumbao” or “La Vida Es Un Carnaval” blaring in the background. Plus, he is starting to learn some of her greatest hits.

9. Seventy-five percent of Latino cooking is just making that sabor.

To quote my husband: “Oh. So ropa vieja is like making pot roast then you make the flavor (sofrito). Yeah. White people are too lazy to make all that flavor.”

10. Being extra and loud is just in our blood.

I still have that trophy on our desk in the living room and he has mentioned moving it a couple times. Then I stubbed my toe, fall to the floor in tears, and he remembers why it is so prominently displayed.

11. Hot Cheetos are life.

He didn’t know they were so versatile but he’s not upset that we get to eat them all the time.


READ: 14 Things That Happen When A Gringo Marries Into A Latino Family

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Conservatives Are Calling For The FBI And CIA To Investigate George Lopez After He Made A Joke About President Trump

Entertainment

Conservatives Are Calling For The FBI And CIA To Investigate George Lopez After He Made A Joke About President Trump

Conservatives are enraged after George Lopez made a joke about the death of President Trump. The Mexican-American comic wrote, “We’ll do it for half,” responding to an Instagram post about a purported bounty. The bounty was suggested at a funeral procession for Iranian general Qassem Soleimani on Sunday and Twitter was set ablaze with some users even calling for the Secret Service to get involved. Here’s what went down.

After Trump ordered a drone strike that killed Iranian Gen. Qasem Soleimani a eulogist at the late leader’s funeral called for a bounty on the U.S. president’s head.

Broadcast live on Iran’s state-owned Channel One television network, a eulogist apparently called for the $80 million bounty while addressing crowds in the city of Mashhad. “We are 80 million Iranians. If each one of us puts aside one American dollar, we will have 80 million American dollars, and we will reward anyone who brings us [Trump]’s head with that amount,” the unidentified man said.

There is no indication the bounty is endorsed by the Iranian government or Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

On Jan. 5, 2020, news editor M. Hanif Jazayeri posted a tweet stating that Iran had placed an $80 million bounty on the head of U.S. President Donald Trump in retaliation for a U.S. airstrike in Baghdad that killed Iranian Major General Qassem Soleimani.

The Instagram account @chicanoworldstar, which has over 170,000 followers, posted about the supposed bounty. 

Credit: chicanoworldstar / Instagram

The post, which erroneously attributed the reward to Iranian officials, said: “#Iranian authorities have put a bounty on American President Donald Trump’s head during the televised funeral of General #QasemSoleimani after he was assassinated last week. What are your thoughts?”

Lopez responded to the eulogist: “We’ll do it for half.”

Credit: @joeysalads / Twitter

On Sunday, the Instagram account @chicanoworldstar, which has over 170,000 followers, posted about the supposed bounty. The post, which erroneously attributed the reward to Iranian officials, said: “#Iranian authorities have put a bounty on American President Donald Trump’s head during the televised funeral of General #QasemSoleimani after he was assassinated last week. What are your thoughts?,” the famed comedian left a comment saying “We’ll do it for half.”

The joke was quickly seized upon by right-wing social media users.

The comment, which has more than 2,400 likes and 750 replies, caught the attention of right-wing media, which was quick to claim that Lopez was issuing a death threat against the president. Lopez’s spokesperson told Newsweek: “It was absolutely a joke and that’s it.” 

But for some, it wasn’t just a joke.

Ryan Fournier, co-chair of Students For Trump, tweeted: “George Lopez just said he’d assassinate President Trump for half of the $80 million dollar bounty. @SecretService should take a look at this. The Left is sick.”

Some defended Lopez —like fellow comedian Kathy Griffith who told “Trump cult” to calm down.

Griffin faced severe backlash for a photo of her holding a severed Trump head. Right-wing media and supporters were outraged and ended Griffin’s career over the photo. The same people angered by the Trump head and the joke are likely the same who supported burning Obama effigies.

Chris D’Elia wrote: “George Lopez is a really big comedian maybe you’re not aware.”

Lopez is a comedian best known for the ABC sitcom “George Lopez,” which ran for six seasons between 2002 and 2007. The iconic comedian also hosted the short-lived TBS talk show “Lopez Tonight” between 2009 and 2011.

In July 2018, Lopez, an outspoken Trump critic, made headlines for pretending to urinate on Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 

The footage went viral on Twitter and prompted similar right-wing offense to this latest incident, including calls for Lopez’s arrest.

READ: Victims Of The El Paso Massacre Received Visits From Edward James Olmos And George López And Their Reactions Are Everything