How Are You Most Likely Going To Die According To Your Zodiac Sign?
Most people would consult a crystal ball to find out just what death has in store. But, we know that your zodiac is just as likely to know what the circumstances of your death are going to be.
Are you ready for the cold, hard truth? Read on to find out just how you’ll kick the bucket …
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries, you’re a firecracker. You’ve got bucketloads of passion to spare. It’s no secret that you seek adventure in your life. Your death will definitely reflect this.
Most likely, you’ll end up dying in the fiery depths of an active volcano. How you got there, no-one will know. But they will know it was you, by the backpack you’ll leave behind. News reports will talk about how you couldn’t resist the thought of adding to your legacy by climbing your way to the top of a volcano.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You’re a grounded, sensible sort, Taurus. People know you for your loyalty, and your stubbornness. To be honest, they can’t imagine you dying – you’re too reliable to just go and die on everyone.
So, your death will take everyone by surprise. In short: it’ll be a car crash. You’ll be minding your own business, driving your car through the countryside, when out of nowhere, a bale of hay will roll its way toward you. You can guess the rest.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini, you enjoy being social and chatting to anyone who doesn’t mind not being able to get a word in edgeways. Your family wouldn’t be surprised if you died mid-sentence.
So how will you go? You’ll be singing your heart out at karaoke. Literally. Screaming the words to Despacito the way that you do is no good for anyone’s heart. Even though the ambulance mightn’t arrive on time, at least you’ll have something that’s a little different on your tombstone.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, let’s face it, your defining characteristic is your sensitivity. You’re a romantic at heart. Those that know you would say that you’d most likely die from a broken heart.
But, your death will be the opposite. It will be romantic. But still oh-so-devastating. Filled with wanderlust, and all sorts of other lust, you’ll be enjoying a cruise with your lover. The pair of you will inevitably find yourselves re-enacting that scene from Titanic. You know the one. As you yell joyfully off the front of the ship, your lover will realise they won’t be able to hold you, and you’ll end up in the water, lost to the seas.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leo, you’re a bit of a drama queen. You like being the centre of attention, and the centre of the party. Your friends would guess that you’d most likely die with a glass of sangria in one hand, and a cigarette in the other.
This means that your death will be kind of tragic, in its own way. You’ll most likely die alone, surrounded by cats. Which is fine, since your cats are pretty much like family, anyway. The only problem will be that no-one will be able to ask the cats just what exactly happened. Although, the spilled bag of kibble and the ladder on the floor might give it away.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo, with your penchant for perfectionism, most people would guess that you’d live forever. You’re the type to follow a strict, healthy diet, exercise right, and meditate your way through life. You’d think that would grant you some sort of immunity to dying, right?
So your death will be unremarkable. To be honest, most people would die for a chance to have a peaceful death like yours. You’ll be old, surrounded by family and friends, and will most likely pass in your sleep.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra, you’re one hella busy babe. You’re usually juggling 10,000 things at once, and you’re pretty good at doing it, too!
You death will be a big mystery. One day you’ll just vanish. You’ll be the subject of a best-selling book, and extremely popular podcast. People will speculate whether you’ve really died, or whether you’re now sunning yourself on a nice beach somewhere, chuckling over the commentary in the media.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You’re a bit of a mystery, Scorpio. You’re loyal, but also competitive to a fault. This all comes down to your intensity, and you invest a lot in your relationships.
Scorpio, with your insatiable appetite for sex, did you expect to kick the bucket any other way? While it’s rare, it’s entirely possible to die from having a really vigorous bonk. At least you’re going out with a … bang.
Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)
Sagittarius, it’s hard to tell what defines you more: your curiosity and energy, or your serious case of wanderlust. Extroverted and optimistic are two words that people use when they describe you. You’re known for being a chill, fun-loving person. Most would think that you’d die from being too relaxed.
But it’s exactly your sense of fun that’ll see you kick the bucket, Sagittarius. Just like the Greek philosopher Chrysippus of Soli, you’ll most likely die of laughter. Although, you probably won’t be laughing for the same reason he did – it was after he watched a donkey trying to eat figs.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Capricorn, you are known for being controlled, conscientious and practical. You’re disciplined and hard-working. Most would say that you’re dedicated to becoming a success. In fact, they’d guess that that would be your downfall, and they’d almost be right.
Rather, you’ll most likely die trying to prove a point. Think along the lines of Clement Vallandigham, a 19th century lawyer, who accidentally shot himself dead trying to prove that a victim could have accidentally shot himself dead. At least you’ll die right, Capricorn.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)
Aquarius, you’re intelligent, quirky, and friendly. We know that, at your core, you’re a humanitarian. You can’t resist the opportunity to do a good deed.
Which is why we know that even if we warn you not to volunteer overseas anymore, you’re probably not going to listen to us. After all, you’d rather die knowing you were doing it in the name of bettering humanity, right? Just watch out for the food. It’s not going to be gentle on your insides.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
As a water sign, you’ve got sensitivity covered, Pisces. You care about your friends and family deeply. But, unfortunately, that’s not going to stop your death.
Pisces, we won’t beat around the bush. You’re going to drown. But not in the way you expect. Beware of glasses of water from here, because they’re not your friend. Sure, hydration is important, but so is avoiding suspicious drinks.
So now you know how you’re going to go. Were you surprised by your zodiac, or did you already have suspicions about your future? Let us know what you think on our Facebook page by clicking the icon at the top of the page!
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