Things That Matter

Facebook Dating App Will Reveal Your Secret Admirers Among Your Friend’s List And Are We Ready For This?

Facebook

Facebook isn’t exactly the most loved social media platform right now. In fact, trust has become a serious issue for the tech giant. So, today when Facebook announced that it’s dating service was coming to the US, many were left thinking…really?!

But apparently, Facebook has finally decided to enter the dating game and the Internet has some thoughts.

Yes, it’s true. Facebook has entered the world of digital dating and they want to be your matchmaker.

The second-least-sexy social media app (after LinkedIn) has officially entered the business of love. Facebook Dating, which has existed in other countries since last year, launched in the US today in the hope that Facebook can compete with existing dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and OKCupid.

“It takes the work out of creating a dating profile and gives you a more authentic look at who someone is,” Facebook’s blog post says.

Users of Instagram will also be able to integrate their posts directly into their “Facebook Dating” profile and give people the ability to add Instagram followers to “Secret Crush” lists. Eventually, the site will offer the ability for users to add Facebook and Instagram Stories to a dating profile.

Facebook’s blog post said the dating feature was designed to be “safe, inclusive and opt-in.” Users are able to report and block other users, and users are not allowed to send photos, links, payments or videos in messages. Users can also share details of an upcoming date or a live location with someone they trust on Facebook Messenger if they wish.

Already, the dating service isn’t generating the most positive buzz.

Facebook says it matches people based on what they like. But there’s obviously more to the story.

Facebook Dating will also gather even more information from Facebook users, information that will presumably be more intimate, up to date, and relevant to what people actually like and think. That’s essentially the sales pitch of Facebook Dating: Facebook has more data on you, so they’ll pair you up with a better match. “Facebook Dating makes it easier to find love through what you like — helping you start meaningful relationships through things you have in common, like interests, events and groups,” reads the first line of the press release.

Ok…but how is Facebook Dating going to work?

To use Facebook’s own words, it’s complicated. Though many have noted the aesthetic similarities between its interface — which is available to users 18 and older within the regular Facebook mobile app (in a separate tab) — and that of the dating app Hinge, the fact that Facebook is already a part of people’s lives whether they’re looking to date or not makes things a bit unusual.

Facebook is attempting to clear most of those hurdles by making Dating as separate as possible from its regular app. First and foremost, users must opt in to the service, then create an entirely distinct profile. Notably, Facebook Dating does not show users their Facebook friends, and also gives people the ability to remove friends of friends from their potential matches. You can also block specific people on Facebook from seeing your dating profile. Users can, however, message one another without matching first.

Perhaps the most shocking part of it all is…”Secret Crush.”

Yes, there’s a tool literally called ‘Secret Crush” and if there’s any one thing I’m most nervous about, it’s this.

Secret Crush is where you can add up to nine (!) Facebook friends or Instagram followers to a list, and if they secretly crush you back, you’ll both get notified. (The tool only works if both people have set up Facebook Dating profiles; Timothée Chalamet will not get notified if you add his Instagram account to your Secret Crush list, and even then you can only do that if Timothée Chalamet is following you.)

The app isn’t exactly new – it was already available in 19 other countries before landing in the US.

With today’s launch, Facebook Dating is now available in 20 countries. In addition to the United States, it’s now live in Brazil, Canada, Chile, Columbia, Ecuador, Guyana, Laos, Malaysia, Mexico, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Singapore, Suriname, Thailand, Uruguay, and Vietnam. 

The product will come to Europe early next year, Facebook said.

Not too surprising, many people aren’t exactly ready to trust Facebook with their love life.

Announcing the feature, Facebook pledged that it would keep users’ dating profile info separate from other Facebook activity. But many remain skeptical.

Seth Carter, 32, an engineer from Terre Haute, Indiana, said he had used dating apps ranging from Match to Bumble, Tinder and Christian Mingle prior to his current relationship. 

“Facebook is here to make money and I get that,” he told the Associated Press. But he worries that Facebook’s stated commitment to privacy would ultimately buckle under pressure to make money off the service. “That likely means they’re going to sell my dating preferences, which means even more intrusions into my life.” 

Facebook says it won’t be doing any of that. But users like Carter can hardly be blamed for their apprehension.

Reactions on Twitter have been nothing short of amazing.

This guy makes a great point. Given the companies pending anti-trust lawsuits and $4 billion fine and all the lost confidence from Facebook’s users, simply using something attached to Facebook is questionable. Then you have the whole world of dating which can be toxic and dangerous and unpleasant all on its own.

All of this begs the question, will people actually use Facebook Dating?

Despite its lateness to the game, Facebook Dating will tap into a wildly lucrative market. Analysts estimate the market could be worth $12 billion by 2020, and Match Group, which owns nearly all of the most popular dating apps besides Bumble, pulled in $1.7 billion in revenue last year. And perhaps Facebook Dating will court the kinds of users who are turned off by other dating apps, be it due to age or preconceived notions about their hookup-oriented nature.

Our FIERCE Readers Share Some of the Most Outrageous Lies They’ve Told To Get Some Time Away With Their Boo

Fierce

Our FIERCE Readers Share Some of the Most Outrageous Lies They’ve Told To Get Some Time Away With Their Boo

@theromantictravelers / Instagram

Vacationing with your significant other is a big step in a relationship. It isn’t just the shared travel or the expense that can be the most trying. Many times, it’s figuring out a cover story to tell the padres. Don’t got it wrong, we’re grown. However, Latinx folk still have to answer to our parents when we leave the house. So if we want to vacay with the novio, we need an alibi. 

With this in mind, we asked our FIERCE readers what their go-to lies are whenever they need to cover up a vacation with their significant other. You might want to jot these excuses down for the next time you need a justification for a weekend away.

1. The mandatory vacay.

Instagram / @happilyeveradventures

“I told my parents I would be out of town (only an hour away from home) for work and that my job was paying for everything and that it was mandatory we all stay there in the hotel because my dad said I could just drive everyday I needed to go. We ended up vacationing 12 hours away from home 😂 they still haven’t found out lol.” — @baerenis 

2. Technically, she still went to Disney.

Instagram / @aprilroselb

“I had a summer job that involved church and I told my mom I was going to stay an extra week because a bunch of us were going to Disneyland. My boyfriend ended up picking me up and we did technically go to Disneyland, but it was just him and me. Lol” — @lilpeaches_12 

3. Total fail but still worth it. 

Instagram / @theromantictravelers

“Went to Rosarito w/ex to a wedding and told my mom I was going to visit girlfriends in San Francisco. One of my moms friends lives in Rosarito and recognized me at wedding. Total fail. Lady memorized my license plate # y todo 😂😂🇲🇽”   @vidajuicebar_

4. The abuela alibi. 

Instagram / @bestwestern_plus_suitcase

“My now husband is from a town 2 hours away from Houston, and the only way my parents would let me stay the weekend over there, was if I stayed and slept with his grandmother. We would actually stay in a hotel room from Friday – Sunday in downtown, 4 miles away from my parents house. This was back in 2003, there’s no way I could get away with that now with smart phones! 😂” @areal1982

5. Staycation, all she ever wanted.

Instagram / @kvadventuretravel

“Lol I would just tell them I was working a long shift and leave for a stay-cation.” @jenoemi87

6. When white lies become second nature.

Instagram / @alinadelcaru 

“I lied until I got married at 31 😂 now my instinct is to lie but stop my self because – wait a minute I’m married now! 😂” — @deerayv

7. This lie came with a lot of work.

Instagram / @el_palauet

“My husband and I had been dating for almost a year he wanted to take me to Puerto Vallarta for my birthday I didn’t know how to tell my parents my husband was like how old are you I said were Mexican we don’t sleep over nobody’s house ever we sleep at home. I told my dad my job needed me to travel to mexico since they were branching out to Puerto Vallarta and they needed a fluent Spanish speaker he was so excited they picked me. He said go tell me what hotel your staying at so I can tell your primos from El Rancho to meet you there… 🤦‍♀️ I gave him the wrong hotel name each time he called I would say were in meetings or were looking at property I’ll call the primos when I have time. We met 1 time to show I wasn’t with anybody I shouldn’t have been with… 😂”  — @melliesemily  

8. You need to go to confessional after this one.

Instagram / @theromantictravelers

“I told my mom I was going on a church retreat and got a text free number to pretend I was one of the people at church verifying I was attending 😩💀 I’m going to hell.” — @aimechinchilla

9. An educational experience.

Instagram / @theromantictravelers

“So I’ve always been super involved on campus and sometimes for student government we would travel and once we went on a trip to a conference for 2 days but I told my parents it’s was for 5 so the other 3 days estaba de pata larga 😉😂 later on that always became my excuse que tenía una conferencia para la escuela (btw i would tell them they were at other sister schools so you know it’s educational ) en total I probably actually had like 5 conferences my whole college career but to them it was like every other month 🤷🏻‍♀️😂” — @anythingforcelinaaas

10. That’s what friends are for.

Instagram / @fairmontsanfrancisco

“I was 20 and had been dating my bf for a year and he had the house for himself one weekend. I told my parents I was sleeping over at my friend’s house and got my dad to drop me off there (about a 20 minute drive away). My bf was waiting for me around the corner and came and picked me up. My friend even played the game and came and said hi to my dad 😂” — @laviajeraporvida

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRJdv6QJ7Nc

Jeannie Mai’s Comments About Dating Black Men Are A Reminder That Some People Might Date Us But Don’t Value Us

Entertainment

Jeannie Mai’s Comments About Dating Black Men Are A Reminder That Some People Might Date Us But Don’t Value Us

In 2019, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that any problematic thing you have said on the internet will come back to bite you.

Host of “The Real” and TV personality Jeannie Mai is learning that lesson the hard way after her relationship with African American rapper Jeezy, Jay Wayne Jenkins, went public on Instagram. In response to the couple’s great news, the internet was quick to resurface an old clip of the television host proudly and enthusiastically claiming that she might date Black men but prefers to marry men who are white.

By the way, this “old” clip aired in 2014, a time when anyone dating a Black person who had access to the internet and friends ought to know better

The clip from 2014 of Mai saying that she prefers her “dark meat on the side” is making the rounds once again.

During a segment on “The Real” in which Mai and her co-hosts spoke about their “types,” Mai made a comment in front of her three Black co-hosts (Loni Love, Lamar Braxton, and Tamera Mowry-Housley) and all things holy that she “loved Black guys!”

And ayayay because that’s already a risky thing to enthuse but she didn’t stop there. “I did, I did,” she went on to say. “But for me, dark meat on the side. White keeps me mean and lean, you know? That’s why I married white. That’s what I like.”

The comments shocked her co-hosts at the time and at one point, Tamar Braxton, replied. “Before I get offended, I’m going to just hush.” When Mai realized she had upset her co-workers she immediately demanded to know what they thought she meant and Mowry-Housley countered that she ought to explain herself.

“What I’m saying is I really do think Black men are attractive,” Mai said again. “When I think about men, I like dark men. I used to date Black men. I think they’re attractive. But when I decided to stick to – because it just kept me happiest – was my man Freddy, who just happens to be White.”

Mai’s sentiment highlights a common sentiment from women outside of the Black the community that Black men are fine to play with but not hang with.

The comments implied that Black men are fine to date but never good enough to settle down with. A Black man could offer a non-Black woman the world but he’d be too “lowly” in their eyes for them to hitch their wagon too. Comments like these not only fetishize Black men and Black people, they dehumanize them as well.

Truth be told, when it comes to race, no one’s being quick to put Jeannie Mai at the helm of the racial conversation.

Mai has made a point on her show of stating her belief that race is not an issue. During various segments of the show she has asserted that Black women are more or more distinctly disparaged in our country.

In actuality, studies have proven time and again that when it comes to domestic abuse, sexual assault, and abuse when it comes to obtaining jobs, education and higher salaries, even proper healthcare Black women are particularly disenfranchised against.

During a conversation about R Kelly and the way his Black victims have been overlooked Mai protested the notion that white victims would have been treated differently. While discussing the issue Mai’s co-host Adrian Bailon asserted that if the girls had been white, the national guard would have been involved. Mai was quick to reply that “women of ALL color” are not being taken care of.

Of course, we’re not mad that Mai is dating Black men. We wish them well and for Jeezy’s sake she’s not sticking to her 2014 ways.