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These Drug Smugglers Left The Internet Laughing At Their Less Than Intelligent Attempts At Smuggling Drugs

The drug trade is supported by a global criminal network of diverse cells that connect consumer markets such as the United States, Europe and Australia to producers in the Global South, in countries such as Bolivia, Mexico, Colombia or war-torn Afghanistan. Some trafficking routes are well laid out and involve chains of corruption and death across the whole continent, in the case of America. 

But sometimes amateur smugglers make crazy attempts at taking drugs on planes, boats, buses or across an international border. Now, the drug trade and the countless tragedies it has triggered is nothing to laugh at, but we gotta admit that these over the top smuggling attempts that make us go “Que chingaos estaban pensando?”. 

The Australian dude who hid a joint between his butt cheeks.  ????

Credit: Minions / Universal Pictures

A man in the Australian town of Ingham, in Queensland, hid a marijuana cigarette between his cheeks, as reported by police. Office Don Auld told the Herbert River Express: “He had drugs secreted in his buttocks, his bottom”. The police were called to a pub where the offender, who goes by the name of Thomas Mow, punched a window. Todo un caballero… not! 

Dream Catchers that were much more than meets the eye!

Credit: dreamcatcher1, dreamcatcher2. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection.

The United States Costumes and Border Protection found liquid meth inside the hoops of these dream catchers. This happened at the Columbus port of entry back in 2016. In an official release, CBP Columbus Port Director Robert Reza said: “This is one of the most unusual smuggling episodes we have ever encountered. Smugglers will try to conceal their drug loads in everyday items like soft drink cans, framed artwork, and other seemingly innocent items. CBP utilizes numerous inspection techniques that help identify and stop these shipments.”

What about a mesa de futbolito full of Mary Jane?

Credit: foosball 2. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection.

Wow, these dudes got just a bit too optimistic in stocking 50 bags of marijuana in a Foosball table. The amazing discovery happened in 2016, when U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers at Lewiston Bridge, in the US-Canada border, suspected a Canadian woman because of inconsistencies in her story. “This is an excellent seizure that demonstrates our officers’ dedication to enforcing the CBP mission and protecting the public from illegal narcotics,” said Acting Port Director Cary Frieling in an official statement. See, the border with Mexico is not the only entry point for drugs. 

Meth stuffed bra at Nogales!

Credit: Anonymous / Giphy

If you think about it, the places that are the most logical to try to smuggle drugs might be the first that the police search! A woman was stopped at the border in Arizona only to be arrested for having stuffed her bra with meth. She was carrying nearly two pounds, so about $6,000 USD of the drug that would have made much more on the streets. 

Coconut, anyone? Oops, is that a bag of MJ?

Credit: PHR cocunut MJ- 1423 lbs 05102016 Courtesy CBP Hidalgo (1) Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection. 

On May 9, 2016, CBP officers working at the Pharr International Bridge cargo facility found a trailer hauling a commercial shipment of coconuts from Mexico. On closer inspection, they discovered 2,486 packages of marijuana. Those would have been some nightmare-inducing pina coladas! Yes, it might be amusing to read these stories, but we got to consider how it affects farmers in Mexico and the reputation of the country at large. 

These tacos taste a bit funny… officers found methamphetamine inside packets of tortillas!

Credit: 10312016 TFO NOG Meth Tortillas 1. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection

What a waste of good corn tortillas. Officers at the port of Nogales found a whopping $87,000 USD worth of meth inside tortilla packages. The tortillas were being carried by a 62-year-old man who attempted to cross the border on foot.

Cocaine pants!

Credit: Fashgif / Giphy

As reported by The Telegraph, two men were caught at JFK Airport with vast amounts of cocaine inside their pants. The packets were attached to their legs and basically created a cocaine pair of pantalones. The two men were coming on a flight from the Dominican Republic. Did they really think they would get away with it? This has to be one of the dumbest attempts ever. They must have been walking like robots or charros after riding an untamed horse!

Watermelons were full of drogas.

Credit: watermelon_trans. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection

Officials in Pharr, Texas, found 3,000 pounds of marijuana inside a shipment of watermelons. It happened in January 2017 and almost 300 watermelons were taken into custody. Is there a single fruit that hasn’t been used for trafficking purposes?

And bananas in Spain were filled with cocaine!

Credit: xandxyz / Giphy

Spanish authorities made yet another fruit-related discovery. As The Telegraph Online reported back in 2017: “Smugglers appear to be getting more creative after authorities foiled an alleged fake banana smuggling attempt in Spain. The Guardia Civil police have uncovered 17 kilos of cocaine hidden in fake bananas and flaps of cardboard boxes in Valencia and Malaga”. The smugglers went great lengths in trying to consummate their crime: they manufacture fake bananas made with resin and thrown together with real fruit. That is some dedication, and also some excellent police work.

Burritos con todo, porfavor.

Credit:  drugs-trending_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqTpQNkEsZM9dtjYvDPpd1c2o7J_TCyqxZ1Oc-nHCR2rk. Digital image. US Customs and Border Protection

Poor burritos, as if their reputation as “not Mexican food wasn’t enough” now they are related to ill smuggling attempts. The Telegraph reports: “A 23-year-old woman has been arrested for attempting to smuggle methamphetamine-stuffed burritos at the United States-Mexico border, authorities say.” Sniffer dogs realized that there was something wrong with the burritos, and the inspectors discovered no guacamole, meat or sour cream was stuffed in the tortillas. 

We cannot forget about the dude that tried to smuggle drugs under his toupee.

Credit: @Policia / Twitter

The Spanish National Police arrested a Colombian man at  Barcelona’s Josep Tarradellas Airport with cocaine stashed under his toupee. The photos show just how silly this attempt was. We mean, it is clear that something is going on debajo de esa peluca. How could he probably think that he was going to get away with it?

Fake nalgas don’t fool anyone!

Credit: _99957657_b32f68e8-561f-4a8d-9f06-2e82497514b1. Digital image. BBC

Ha! A Brazilian man tried to smuggle drugs inside a pair of fake buttocks attached to his swimming suit. The man was arrested when attempting to enter Portugal with one kilogram of cocaine. The European market is coveted by smugglers because prices are much higher than in the United States. 

A very artful attempt at smuggling.

Credit: Anonymous / Giphy

Colombian police found cocaine mixed into the clay of three replicas of sculptures by artist Fernando Botero. The sculptures were found in a Bogota warehouse and were due to be shipped to Madrid. A police statement said, as reported by BBC: “This is a sophisticated concealment system for the drugs in replicas of sculptures by a renowned Colombian artist.” At least the smugglers had moderately good taste (Botero is a bit kitsch, to be honest).

READ: This May be the Craziest Drug-Smuggling Attempt Ever

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Christina Aguilera Lip Synching ‘Lady Marmalade’ To A TikTok Meme Is A Summer Treat

Entertainment

Christina Aguilera Lip Synching ‘Lady Marmalade’ To A TikTok Meme Is A Summer Treat

Kevin Winter / Getty

In 2001, Christina Aguilera was a pop princess on the rise.

She further solidified herself in the world of music that year when she joined forces with the powerful voices of Mýa, Pink, and rappers Lil’ Kim and Missy Elliot for a recorded version of “Lady Marmalade.” The track, which had been created for the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, became an instant smash and classic. At the time of its release, the song was a number-one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 for 5 weeks.

Let us not forget that the song also taught an entire generation the infamous French words “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?”

Now nearly twenty years after its release, Aguilera is reminding us of her musical chops and the beloved song.

In a video posted to her Instagram page, the Burlesque actress mimed along to a recent version of the song performed by TikTok sensation Lili Hayes. Hayes, who is 72, blew up on Instagram and TikTok a few years ago for her musical posts and attitude. She can often be seen on her pages singing or sporting hats and has gained fame for her sense of humor. She’s been featured in blog posts and major outlets like Vogue.

Her bio reads ‘Over everything. Always a little p****d.’ 

Christina’s parody of Hayes’s hilarious TikTok sent her 6.8 million followers into an internet craze.

Fans labeled the singer a ‘goddess’ for singing the song while dancing in her swimming pool with a glass of wine and an oversized black straw hat. In the video, Aguilera can be seen showing off her playful side while whipping her hair around.

“I feel like I’ve never sounded so goooooood! Yas honey @lili_hayes ! 😂🔥 #RealLadyMarmalade #LadyMarmaladeRemix #tiktok,” she wrote in a caption of the hilarious clip.

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This Man Posts A Video Highlighting Mexican ‘Avatar The Last Airbender’ Characters And It’s So Accurate

Entertainment

This Man Posts A Video Highlighting Mexican ‘Avatar The Last Airbender’ Characters And It’s So Accurate

@nacho_libro_ / TikTok

Who here loves “Avatar The Last Airbender”? It is one show that has been around for so long that the fanbase can only grow. The show is a fantasy ride that will take you to some of the most imaginative places. However, one fan realized something no one else did: some of the characters are Mexicans. Here’s what he found.

Roku

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

Roku, a.k.a. “El Espiritu,” is one of the Mexicanos rocking it in the Fire Nation. Roku’s memory served as a guiding force for Aang along his long and storied journey. It is like that one compa you have who is always able to help you out of a jam. You never know how he will do it but he always does.

Sokka

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

You might know Sokka as the defacto leader of the Water Nation for a time. When he was younger, Sokka wanted to join his father in the war. He tried his best and left with all of the men to join the fight. However, he was too young to fight and was sent back but was the oldest male and became the leader of the tribe. Much like that primo we all have who is the oldest of the primos and teaches us everything. Where would we be without that primo?

Zuko

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

Zuko was born into the royal family of the Fire Nation. The prince abdicated his throne and lived in exile. For years, Zuko tried his best to catch the long-lost Avatar to get back into his kingdom. We all know that one friend that is trying to make up for something. At the end of the day, he is a good dude but he just has some things that he has to work out.

“Avatar the Last Airbender” fans are asking for more.

Credit: @nacho_libro_ / TikTok

There are so many more people that can be made into Mexican airbenders. The first three are already a success for the TikTok user with more than 234,000 views. Fans want more and it just seems like the perfect time to create more.

And it wasn’t just the setup.

Credit: @nacho_libro / TikTok

The TikTok user came through with his joke. Not only was the haircut so on point, he included a bunch of easter eggs. One of them was the América jersey that left some viewers screaming. Watch the video here and enjoy.

READ: Netflix Is Bringing Us An Anime Series Based In Fictional Mexico And We Are Here For It

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