Things That Matter

Daughter Shows What It’s Like To Live With A Mother That Is A Hoarder And Verbally Abusive

Dealing with aging parents is a struggle that is real and all too painful. Many children of parents who suffer from mental disorders, or can’t move around as quickly because of their age, have the challenging task of either caring for them at home or placing them into a convalescent home.

For Latinos, however, the struggle of aging parents has its unique challenges which are often related to cultures that demand children taking on the role of their parents’ caretakers in their later years.

Recently, one Latina learned that taking care of her mother is not what she expected.

A Mexican woman shared on Facebook the struggles of living with a mom that horde just about everything.

The woman posted her feelings on a Facebook group titled “Awful roommates: roommates from hell” and said that she arrived at her mom’s house only to find items all over the place. From bags to rotten food, the mom’s house was cluttered with junk.

The woman said that she had just been to her mom’s house to clean four days prior only to find it an utter mess.

According to the Daily Mail, the woman said, “Most of my money goes to rent and bills, and I’m saving the residual to move out hopefully soon.” It looks like the stress of taking care of her mom has become too much of a problem for her, and now she’s seeking to leave her mom and take care of herself.

It also seems as if the mom is mentally abusing her daughter as well.

The woman claims her mom became verbally volatile after she messed up one of her pans while she was cleaning.

“After all this, my mom came into the kitchen and threatened to release my pet bird outside because I scratched her pan when I was cleaning it so I can learn to take care of things better.”

The people in the group were on her side and expressed comments of concern and well wishes.

“This is exactly why I haven’t lived at home since I was 14,” one person wrote. “Moms like this are awful. We love them, but they’re toxic.”

The publication reports that a commenter said, “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope it works out in your favor soon.”

“Mommy dearest! I hope you can cope, this sounds so very hard on you,” a commentator said.

It will be interesting to see how this situation plays out, but we can certainly say it won’t be easy.

This Is What Cardi B Thinks Of Instagram Taking Away ‘Likes’ And Here’s Why She’s Right

Entertainment

This Is What Cardi B Thinks Of Instagram Taking Away ‘Likes’ And Here’s Why She’s Right

Iamcardib / Instagram

Earlier this year, Instagram began trialling the removal of likes in Canada. In a bid to reduce stress and anxiety surrounding the user experience with the platform, Instagram has announced that the social media will be test hiding likes in the US, too —And Cardi B had some thoughts. 

Instagram announced that the platform will be hiding ‘likes’ in the US this week.

Instagram’s CEO Adam Mosseri, announced last Friday that the platform will be hiding the number of ‘likes’ on posts this week. The new feature is being met with strong backlash, especially many influencers and celebrities —among them, the opinionated rapper, Cardi B.

Cardi B took to Instagram to protest the feature, arguing that removing likes wouldn’t make Instagram any less toxic because “the comments affect more than the likes.”

The rapper posted a video on Instagram, explaining how she believes that the comments section is more toxic to users than seeing likes or not. She said: “If anything is affecting Instagram right now, I really feel it’s the way the comments have been done or have been changing these past few years.” 

Cardi voiced her concerns of the comments section, pointing out how many trolls will post triggering comments just to get reactions.“That’s when I feel like when people started sayin’ nasty things … somebody would just say something so vile because … they want comments back,” she explained.“Because I feel people been saying the most weirdest shit, been starting the craziest arguments, been starting to race bait, all because of comments, because they want to get to the top, they want to get the most reactions.”

The feature was already been tested in other countries, and now that it’s coming to the US, celebrities are sharing their take.

Credit: nickiminaj / Instagram

The feature has already been tried out in seven countries including Australia, Ireland, and Canada in recent months. When it was rolled out there, influencers complained that hiding likes would give them less leverage over brand deals and sponsored content now, celebrities are calling out the app for experimenting with removing likes, with some threatening to stop posting to Instagram.

Nicki Minaj says she won’t be posting on IG anymore.

Another rapper known for not holding back on sharing her opinions, threatened to stop posting on Instagram if the feature were to take effect. What indeed would we do with all the time we’d have without Instagram?

Nicki has a sort of conspiracy theory to explain what’s behind Instagram’s new move.

Minaj went on to tweet about her speculation that Instagram is hiding likes to manipulate what posts users get to see in their feed, regardless of how much engagement posts are getting. Nicki’s speculations might have some grounds. She referred to the well-documented phenomenon of YouTube view counts fluctuating after videos are posted, which can happen when YouTube determines views come from bots or other fraudulent sources.

Juicy J also had something to say about the new IG feature.

The rapper predicts backlash against the change, tweeting that he expected people to leave Instagram and go “back to real life.”

Others however, think that the decision to hide likes is a good thing.

Credit: kimkardashian / Instagram

Despite having more than 151 million Instagram followers and the platform being crucial to making some of her $350 million personal net worth, Kim Kardashian West seems to agree with Instagram’s decision to hide ‘likes’. “As far as mental health, I mean it’s something that taking the likes away and taking that aspect away from it would be really beneficial for people,” Kardashian West said during The New York Times’ DealBook conference last week.

Tracee Ellis Ross also voiced her support for the change.

Credit: traceellisross/ Instagram

Everyone’s favorite person on IG right now, Tracee Ellis Ross, is also in support of removing likes. She said that the like count had “adverse effects.” “It creates a culture that isn’t helpful for well-being and isn’t fruitful for creative energy,” during a panel discussion with Instagram’s CEO Adam Mosseri.

The popularity-contest-style pressure associated with Instagram likes will probably just shift to another one of the many metrics measured on the platform —or who knows, maybe the move will actually make everyone happy? Either way, the social media platform will be rolling out the new feature on a small group of users this week, whether we like it or not. And we’ll be keeping our eyes open to see what the change brings.

Remembering Pedro Zamora, The HIV-Positive Man Who Changed Hearts And Minds While On ‘Real World: San Francisco’

Culture

Remembering Pedro Zamora, The HIV-Positive Man Who Changed Hearts And Minds While On ‘Real World: San Francisco’

juddwinick / Instagram

Back in 1992, MTV first aired “The Real World,” which went on to define reality TV forever. The shows premise and tagline — “This is the true story…of seven strangers…picked to live in a house… and have their lives taped…to find out what happens…when people stop being polite…and start getting real… ” — seemed like a fresh concept. At the time, viewers were simply taking in how people from different backgrounds got along. A lot of the time, they didn’t. In the middle of all that TV drama, something unusual was taking place: viewers were meeting individuals that presented extraordinary stories. In the show’s 27-year span, only one person stood out among them all and is remembered for literally changing the world. 

In 1994, MTV’s “Real World” San Francisco featured a 22-year-old Cuban named Pedro Zamora. 

Credit: @dc408dxtr / Twitter

For those not familiar with Zamora, his life story is a remarkable one of survival. He was just 8-years-old when he and some of his family members left Cuba on the Mariel Boatlift and settled in Miami. Sadly, his mother died of cancer a couple of years later when he was 13. Zamora still excelled in school. It was around this time that he realized he was gay. While he did come out to his family, they mostly feared that Zamora would get discriminated against because of his sexuality. 

At 17, Zamora found out he contracted HIV and decided to bring awareness to his disease. 

Credit: @theadvocatemag / Twitter

While attending Miami Dade College, Zamora became a fierce AIDS educator. One of the most impressive traits that he possessed was that he could engage with people of different ages and backgrounds. He was a great speaker. It was his charming characteristics and profound knowledge that made him perfect for TV. He ventured into several famous talk shows of that time to speak about what it was like to be a young gay man living with AIDS. 

With the encouragement of friends, Zamora felt he could reach more people with his message of empathy and education about HIV and AIDS by auditioning to be on MTV’s “Real World.” Naturally, he was one of nine to be cast on the show. 

As a cast member on the show, Zamora helped to educate his housemates about living with AIDS. Those moments on MTV also informed millions of viewers. Zamora loved for people to learn about his Cuban culture. 

Credit: @simplymiatx23 / Twitter

Today with the lack of Latino representation in the arts and entertainment industry, we now see how rare it was to have two Cuban Americans on MTV talking about their culture and family. Another castmember that has continued to be in the limelight was Zamora’s housemate Rachel Campos Duffy. She was a young conservative back then, and she still is today as the wife of former GOP representative Sean Duffy (he too was a former cast member of the “Real World” Seattle). While Rachel and Zamora clashed on various topics, including his homosexuality, their bond broke through her closemindedness. 

While Zamora died shortly after the last episode of the “Real World” aired, his legacy continues to be inspiring 25 years later.

Zamora’s housemate and one of his loudest advocates today, Judd Winick, who wrote the 2000 book “Pedro and Me” said this on social media: 

“I’d ask that on this incredible milestone that we try to remember how he lived, and how he literally changed the world, rather than focusing on our loss of him. By appearing on The Real World in ‘94, he showed everyone what it was really like to be living with AIDS, to be living out, to love, to be loved by friends, supported by family—to have a full life. And it seems crazy that this was a lesson that needed to be taught. But it did.” 

Rachel echoed that sentiment on the 25th anniversary of his death on Twitter: “@RealWorldMTV changed many lives -including mine. #PedroZamora died 25 yrs ago today, but his impact lives on. I miss Pedro & the days when MTV respected young people enough to make shows like the Real World, San Francisco.”

For those of us who watched Zamora on the “Real World,” we learned about showing empathy and compassion for those that suffered AIDS and HIV and continue to live with it today. Zamora also taught viewers to always show kindness, respect, and love for one another.

Credit: nycaidsmemorial / Instagram

Click here for more information on the Pedro Zamora Young Leaders Scholarship and The Pedro Zamora Public Policy Fellowship

READ: A Single Mom On DACA Is One Of The Newest Cast Members On MTV’s New Season Of ‘The Real World