Things That Matter

Here Is A List Of Christmas Gifts That Latinos Will Find Funny

Ah, Christmas, Nochebuena, Navidad…. the night of useless presents and crazy tías with their weird traditions. Life is full of mysteries and one of those just totally inexplicable things is why people keep gifting each other strange and useless things. But well, es Navidad y todo se vale, right?

1. A Guacardo Christmas Pin! GUACAMOLE!

This is absolutely cute and it yells I am Latino and love a cheesy Christmas. If you are dating a non-Latino give it to them to make them part of the familia!

2. Best flans pin pack…

The best gift for that mejor amiga who loves kitschy but fashionable gifts with a twist. Now we want abuela’s famous flan de cajeta.

3. Let’s be honest…. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS OTRO PLATO AND WE HAVE A SWEATER TO PROVE IT!

Oh, Christmas, a time for family, joy, and overeating!

4. A conchas sweatshirt…. cover those tetas, mija

The little mermaid has conchas de mar, but you can gift conchas de pan dulce. What a gift!

5. We are head over heels over this Guacardo Pom Pom Beanie

The ideal gift for that hipster primo who is proudly Latino but loves his avocado brunch at the precio moderado de un chingo.

6. No jodan aunties, I am better off alone. Mejor sola sweatshirt.  

For that independent young woman in the family who dreads Christmas because people don’t leave her alone asking her about galanes. This sweatshirt makes it loud and clear: don’t mess with me!

7. A San Marcos blanket

Credit: http_%2F%2Fo.aolcdn.com%2Fhss%2Fstorage%2Fmidas%2Fd786070deacf0420a73639b7f3467a28%2F206054090%2Fsan+marcos . Digital image. HuffPost Mexico

We are sure you have seen one of these cobertores printed with wild animals and super ñero landscapes. We all had one as kids.

8. A six pack of Nochebuena beer

Credit: 1482108036_582789_1482109542_noticia_normal. Digital image. Verne El Pais

A classic Mexican holiday beer that doesn’t really taste that good, but everyone is afraid to admit that fact. Drinking one of these chelas is that the holiday spirit is all about.

9. An ugly abuelita sweater

Credit: Kitty-Puppy-Hay-Ride-Tacky-Cat-Lady-Ugly-Sweatshirt-Plus-Size. Digital image. The Ugly Sweater Shop

Thanks, but no thanks. Navidad sweaters tend to be conservative and super stuffy in all their polyester glory. Guácala.

10. Yet another tortilla container

Credit: s-l640. Digital image.eBay

Every Mexican-American household has a tortillero that sports some horrible flower pattern or an Aztec-themed adornito. One is enough, gracias por nada.

11. A kitsch as hell nacimiento 

Credit: 1c4c9bfc70419e086ce8a4c75cb4f477. Digital image. Pinterest

Ya, no más porfavor. Nativity scenes are big for Latinos and even though they won’t be used until the following year, if ever. Some of these nacimientos are ungodly in their ugliness (pun intended).

12. Baby Jesus clothes… yes, they are a thing

Credit: Divino-Nino-GalaVestido-Nino-DiosRopa-Nino-DiosBaby-Jesus. Digital image. PicClick

Nothing worse than the tías that gift each other weird Barbie-like clothes for their Niño Jesús. There are even versions with soccer jerseys.

13. DVD collections of telenovela classics…. there’s streaming you know…

Credit: Cuna_De_Lobos__Cradle_Of_Wolves__DVD_Cutversion_W__English_S. Digital image. Bukalapak

Please, mamá, no one uses DVDs anymore and I can just stream Corazón Salvaje or Silvana Sin Lana!

14. A hideous bufanda badly knit by your aunt

Credit: Photo Oct 28, 3 26 38 PM. Digital image. Memoirs of an Old Soul.

Tía Cholita is terrible at knitting but in three decades of ugly and uneven scarfs no one has been brave enough to tell her.

15. Horrible Acapulco souvenirs made out of shells

Credit: 3-a-animals-e1402328730919. Digital image. Travel Blog

Everyone has a pariente who visits the motherland and buys horrible souvenirs but only gift them when it is time for the intercambio de Navidad. 

16. Fake Cuban cigars…. do not try at home!

Credit: cohiba-2-1024×768. Digital image.  Havana Times

Repeat after me: Cuban cigars are legal now, no need to gift those Cohiba wannabes that taste like an ashtray as soon as you light them.

17. Yet another rosario

Credit: 3d2b18b2d64b37dc8c139316fa2caa58. Digital image. Pinterest

No abuelita, praying doesn’t make me un buen muchacho.

18. Red chones to get you ready for New Year’s

Credit: h37-1459.pycc_heidi-klum-intimates_217_velvet-orchid-thong-brief_poppy-red-cafe-creme_ff.1531783963 . Digital image. Bendon Ligerie

Nothing more embarrassing that having your family see that red thong a cheeky cousin gave you to wish you a healthy sex life for the upcoming year.

19. Decoraciones de Navidad: seriously, it is Xmas already, why would I need more decorations? Duh.

Credit: adornos-navidad-fieltro. Digital image. Manualidades

It is already Christmas, why would you give me even more decorations? Makes no pinche sentido.

20. A San Antonio so you can put it upside down to see if you finally stop being a solterona. Those people can’t understand that women can be single and independent! Ya déjenme en paz!

Credit: NwYU4 . Digital image. SDP NOTICIAS

Any single woman over 25 is judged by nosy relatives as a quedada, a spinster. Legend has it that you have to put this saint upside down to attract buenos partidos. Just don’t, I am dating myself thank you very much.

22. A bottle of cheap rum with a bow that probably cost more than the booze itself

Credit: ronjamaica. Digital image. The Clinic Online

One of those last minute gifts picked up at the corner shop. The cheap tío will probably beg you to open the chupe and drink it himself. No es justo!

23. An ugly handwoven table runner…. really, who uses those?

Credit: camino-de-mesa-en-crochet_7_900. Digital image. Facilisimo

No one uses table runners. Period. Chances are they will be forgotten in a kitchen drawer, pero no importa. 

24. Rompope filled chocolates that are bound to give you a terrible sugar cruda

Credit: 41QGyFZ8PFL. Digital image. Amazon

Those damn chocolates filled with eggnog are so damn sweet and addictive that they give you a sugar rush and then a bad hangover the next day. We love to hate them and hate to love them.

25. Super kitsch jewelry de fantasía

Credit: 616Fu9iM4pL._SY500_ . Digital image. Amazon.

Do you really think I will go out clubbing wearing that? These pieces of bisutería are generally a season or ten too old…

26. Stop it with the Navidad themed toilet covers

Credit: 3-unid-set-Navidad-elfos-Cubiertas-de-inodoro-higi-nico-Sets-Navidad-Decoraci-n-Ba-eras.jpg_640x640. Digital image. Ali Expres

They are not hygienic and no one wants to have Santa looking into their private toilet business. No one who is on their right mind puts what is basically a plush toil on the escusado, come on!  Qué asco.

27. A Luismi CD. Yes, un pinche cé dé!

Credit: lm. Digital image. RoMaNo

Some older relatives just do not get that CDs are a thing of the past and keep gifting these relics with the same recycled Luis Miguel songs… yes, we know the Netflix show was a big hit, but that doesn’t make these cool…. chances are they will end up as decoration for el arbolito de Navidad next year.

28. A Spanish-English dictionary that is oh so passive aggressive

Credit: 038427_FB7C506F5EC34FBD82C30195BA61EF50. Digital image. School Speciality

Being pushed by the relatives to perfect your español? This might be the best cachetada con guante blanco in the book. So you now know, mijitos, better polish your language skills or face the bilingual police!

29. What you gave them on the intercambio the previous year

Credit: 1513271683_590677_1513272873_noticia_normal. Digital image. W Radio

Yes, it is not uncommon for extended families to just keep recycling the same old regalitos for generations. But that is what Christmas spirit is all about!


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16 Latin-Themed Christmas Ornaments That Will Spruce Up Your Tree ASAP

Culture

16 Latin-Themed Christmas Ornaments That Will Spruce Up Your Tree ASAP

allfreechristmascrafts / Pinterest

Christmastime is the one time a year that we can truly let our crafty side show. You can decorate your house however you please and no one can say a negative thing about it because it’s the holidays. The only issue is picking out a theme or opting to go with whatever you see at Target. Either way is fine, but why not show off the love you have for your Latin culture?

This year instead of just doing the basic green and red ornament styles that everyone seems to go for, choose some of these lovely Latin-themed ornaments that will definitely get the attention of your family and friends. We’ve searched the interwebs for the best Latin styled ornaments that you can either purchase or make yourself. Enjoy! 

A little Frida fun for the holidays.

Credit: Etsy

You cannot go wrong with these festive Frida Kahlo dolls for $13 on Etsy. They’re so cute, and perfect to have as decoration all year round. 

A disco Latin-themed Christmas tree.

Credit: DirectfromMexico

For those that have more eclectic taste and want to set a sophisticated tone, while also paying homage to your Latin heritage, we highly suggest these shiny retro ornaments from DirectfromMexico for $75.

A cactus kind of Christmas.

Credit: Mypoppet

If you have some time to spare, or would like to make a crafty side project with your friends and kids, these DIY cactuses are the cutest things to add to your tree. Need some help? Go to Mypoppet for instructions. 

Bella estrellas. 

Credit: Crafttel

Nothing says Christmas more than a star. It represents so much and they’re so beautiful as well. These estrellas that can also double as piñatas are perfect for your tree. Get them at Crafttel.

Tamales to eat and to decorate. 

Credit: Pinterest

While you and your family IS gathered around the table making tamales, be sure to save some of those smallish corn husks. As you can see from the picture above, they can make great ornaments as well, and you don’t need much material either.

Colorful yarn to spread around. 

Credit: MexicanBeautyShop

For a more intricate kind of DIY fun, these MexicanBeautyShop ornaments are simply delightful. And we should add again that they’re perfect wall decor even when it’s not the holidays. 

Merry Christmas maracas.

Credit: MexicanBeautyShop

The MexicanBeautyShop also sells these maracas that look great on Christmas trees. But if you want to access this look easier, just head out to any party store and purchase maracas and then tie them to a string to hang on your tree. Pretty easy. 

The Loteria cards can go a long way. 

Credit: Pinterest

We love Loteria more than anything else, so why not celebrate that during Christmas time? For this idea, just buy a Loteria game that you won’t mind cutting up. Laminate each card that you wish to have on your tree, and that’s it!

Dolls for days!

Credit: Buganvillaimports

These Latin dolls, sold at Buganvillaimports, are perfectly festive for Christmas. You can also give them away as Christmas favors. People will love them. 

A piñata for everyone!

Credit: Buganvillaimports

You can get these mini piñatas at any bodega, party store, or Latin store. Buganvillaimports sells them too. If you put candy in them, you can hand these out to family and friends as well.

Ornaments with a twist of fun.

Credit: allfreechristmascrafts

If you have Loteria cards to spare, gluing them to old ornaments works just as well. All you need is glue and glitter and you’re set. 

Day of the Dead, Christmas-Style

Credit: Etsy

Who says Day of the Dead can’t be celebrated at Christmas. Bring out your Dia de los Muertos decor and place it on your tree. So inventive and resourceful. 

A real fiesta Christmas.

Credit: Etsy

While these paper ornaments are a bit more detailed and complicated to make at home, you can purchase them on Etsy

Mexi-Galore glam for the holidays.

Credit: Pinterest

We can certainly bet you have a lot of Latin trinkets at home. If you have super tiny stuff, you can plop them in your tree, just stuff them in there, and your tree will be instantly Latin-themed.

Tender and sweet, Latin Christmas tree.

Credit: Pinterest

These amazing colorful ornaments made of plush and yarn would make any humdrum tree a beautiful one. 

Ranchera holiday-themed tree.

Credit: Etsy

For Tex-Mex folks or lovers of Texas-style, we highly recommend these plush ornaments on Etsy.

Happy holidays, everyone!

READ: Here’s Why Everyone Should Celebrate Nochebuena At Least Once With Their Latino Friends

We Found The Perfect Gifts For Your Selena-Obsessed Friends And Created A Gift Guide

Entertainment

We Found The Perfect Gifts For Your Selena-Obsessed Friends And Created A Gift Guide

mitú shop

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, it means you keep very good company. Whether you know all about Selena or just need a little guidance from a trusted source, we’ve got all the necessary items to be a Selena fan club member in good standing. Before Selena’s untimely death, she paved the way for women to take the stage in Tejano music. During a time when Cosmopolitan was telling women with curves how to properly hide those curves, Selena, somehow, remained mentally unscathed and showed us all how to properly show off our Latina curves, and keep eating pizza. While nothing can bring her contagious smile and unforgettable voice back, we can be reminded of her empowered, easy-going spirit when we notice a pin on our backpack or pick up our keys and see an Apartamento 512 keychain. 

If you don’t understand what feeding your friend’s obsession is all about, trust that it’s pure female empowerment.

Apt. 512 Keychain

Be warned, if there is anything less than platonic about your ‘friendship’ with this Selena-obsessed person, this keychain may be taken as a hint that you want something more. Otherwise, compas, your friend will scream to carry this around on her keychain. If you know, you know.

Chico in Apt 512 Tee

Oh, so you know what you’re doing and trying to make that Selena-obsessed friend your Selena-obsessed novio or novia? The key is to wear this Chico in Apt 512 Tee under a hoodie, and as your “friend” is opening the keychain gift, unzip that hoodie and reveal yourself. You’re the dreamy guy next door.

Selena Pin Pack

Pins are one of the most popular gifts because there are no sizes and one little pin can tell you a lot about a person. These three exclusive pin designs include Selena’s iconic red Porsche, “El Busti-Caca”, and “I Could Fall In Love With You” Pizza. If you don’t get it, trust that they will.

The Life of Selena Lil Libros Book

As we all trailblaze into a new decade, and a new year, some self-empowerment may be on your friend’s mind. If that sounds like your friend, then what better way to empower that self-reflection than from the mind’s eye of the Selena? Buying someone a journal almost always feels passive-aggressive, but only tears of laughter can be produced by this gift.

Bidi Bidi Guau Guau Dog Bandana

If your friend is obsessed with Selena, she’s probably also obsessed with her dog. This makes the perfect two-for-one package present to show your friend you care about her dog’s solid fashion sense, and that they properly rep family values. Plus, it’s on sale right now!

Selena Plush & Bib Bundle

If your friend has become a new mom, this handmade gift, and it’s backstory, will have her weeping with joy. When Erika first got pregnant, she started making baby shoes for her soon-to-be newborn. By the time she gave birth to her third child, this hobby became a full-out passion project and company, now called Luna Impressions. Your new mama will appreciate that this gift is 100 percent handmade by a Latina mom who became a businesswoman while her children were still in diapers.

Bidi Bidi Baby Onesie

If a Bidi Bidi baby doesn’t tell you they’re a Bidi Bidi baby, are they even a Bidi Bidi baby? Complete the gift set with the most adorable baby onesie there ever lived, available in baby pink, white, and black as well.

Bidi Bidi Busti Youth Tee

When her baby is a full-grown child, we’ve still got the merch she’ll need. Growing up in a Selena-obsessed household is contagious. Before Selena, Tejanas were rare or ignored in Tejano music. After a childhood of rewatching the stunning Selena belt “Como La Flor” from Houston’s Astrodome, she’s going to want to do the very same. Make that kid’s dreams come true.

Bidi Bidi Guac Guac Plushie

The ultimate mitú x Selena gift is perfect for the friend who may also have an obsession with Guarcado or avocados in general. Guarcado is donning Selena’s iconic sparkling purple jumpsuit and even has a convenient keychain attachment, so your friend can hold onto it forever!

READ: ‘Selena: The Series’ Finally Has Their Chris Perez And Los Dinos And Fans Are Getting So Excited