Things That Matter

11 Real Life Wedding Cancellations And Why You Should Never, Ever Judge Women For Pulling The Plug

Some people seem to forget what weddings really are. Weddings are not about the canapés, the first dance or the ties the groomsmen wear, but about the beginning of a long life together. Yes, that means morning dragon breath, sickness, laundry, bills and maybe snotty bundles of smelly cuteness called babies. The wedding goes by fast and the laughs, drama, and hangovers are soon forgotten. What remains is the discovery of oneself and of the other. So unless you are 100% sure you want to take on that joyous but often rocky path of discovery, you have the right to change your mind right up to the last minute. Sometimes women are forced into marriage, either through violent means or by partners who are passive aggressive and basically guilt their girlfriends into marriage.

However, popular culture and la pinche sociedad machista have demonized those who cancel a wedding, particularly if the one who took the brave but uncomfortable choice is a woman. From romcoms (which stink of heteronormativity by the way) like Julia Roberts’ Runaway Bride to crappy reality shows, the groom is often seen as the victim and the bride as a coward runaway. Why not change the discourse, question choices and think that perhaps it was a bad relationship that needed to end? An engagement ring is not a death sentence and even if you have sent out the invitations, it is your life, your future, your corazón and your body that need to matter the most.

Here are stories of eleven wedding cancellations (for tips on what to expect if you do this, read here). If you wanna keep reading just make a vow: I shall not judge. If you feel the urge to judge these women, and men, who decided to take back their lives instead of committing to a marriage that would not have been a happy one, then please piensa bien en tus ideales en la vida.

1. This queen who lay the rules right from the start: no te metas en lo que no te importa.

Credit: Instagram. @paidcable

This woman has a very clear message. You never know what is going on in a person’s life. If you felt offended because you had already bought a gift and an outfit for the canceled wedding and need to vent out andando de chismosa, well, dude, just stop. Good on you @paidcable!

2. This chap who no perdió el estilo and who has some amazing friends

Credit: Instagram. @gunnerss

This guy is totally right: when you cancel a wedding, emotions run high, and some people actually take it as an act that affects THEM! As if… @gunnerss knows that real friends are there in sickness and in health until death do us part.

3. Now repeat after us: #justsayno #noshame

Credit: Instagram. @evesturges

We love it when women stick together and just say “it is all OK, your life will go on” and, most importantly, “NO SHAME”. Yes, there is no shame in canceling a night, but there is shame in not being true to yourself and getting into a marriage that might be doomed from the start. You might not really love the dude, y se permite, no pasa nada. The hardest word to say is sometimes a simple “no”, but saying it can be life-defining.

4. This lady and her life partner who decided to press the PAUSE button

Credit: Instagram. @misspilsner

We love this post about a couple who canceled the wedding and decided to seek help, get counseling and be at a better place before tying the knot. Sometimes it is not about the person not being right for you, but about the relationship needing more work before the ultimate “I do”.

5. This woman who was rescued by her boyfriend’s female friend

Credit: Twitter. @SanMar0714

This woman basically dodged a womanizer. A Twitter user who had been wooed by the groom contacted the bride, telling her that she had been receiving texts of a not-so-innocent nature from him. The rest, as they say, is history. The bodorrio was cancelled and the bride even ended up at the hospital. Her life with this jijodesu would have been even worse though, so she made the brave, wise choice.

6. But the infidelidad can be even worse when it involves the bride’s family

Credit: Twitter. @pedromurillojr

We hate the manera burlona in which this story is presented, but we decided to include it as it shows how vicious men can be about stories of failed weddings, what toxic masculinity looks like (if you are a dude reading this, take not on what NOT to do). It is no laughing matter: the groom cheated on the bride with her cousin. A relationship and a family relationship shattered. The matrimonio would have been a house of deceit, though.

7. A good end to a failed wedding

Credit: Twitter. @aciprensa

We love what a woman from Indiana, whose $30,000 wedding was canceled, didn’t want it all to go to waste… so she decided to host a grand banquet for the homeless. What a great action. This is a lot of good karma and brownie points in her future life as a strong, independent, single woman. Te amamos.

8. This woman who experienced the most awkward moment of all time

Credit: Instagram. @thespacenymph

Do yourself a favor and read this woman’s story. She likes trying on wedding dresses ever since she was bound to get married. She was doing this with her current BF and surprise… she bumps into her ex-suegros. Ouch! What a way to go down memory lane… or rather, highway to hell!

9. This lady who wants to wear that gorge smile and not that wedding dress

Credit: Instagram. @mecmcgie

The hashtags say it all: #almostabride #dodgedabullet #cancelledwedding #happilyeverafterthebreakup. She knew deep in her heart that she would be better off without the dude. In her own words, she dodged a bullet. We hope she treated herself with the $450 she sold the dress for!

10. Wow, this story of self-care and inspiration

Credit: Instagram. @melbay86

We love this success story: it is bittersweet because of the breakup and the fact her mother is no longer here, but it is inspiring in that she took the life-changing event of a canceled wedding as the first step towards discovery and personal betterment. We can only say “te mereces eso y todo lo bueno que venga, reina”. 

11. This tale of deceit and a brave woman who faced the truth


Credit: image. Digital Image. She Said.

A common mistake for people who are about to get married is overlooking the evident flaws that a partner can have. Nadie es perfecto and we can all be better, but sometimes you don’t want to put up with certain things. And that is fair and you have the right to say no. If you are in a similar situation, read the story by Julia Park Tracey in which she accepts being blown away by the sparkles. She writes in her essay” Why I Cancelled My Wedding At The Last Second”: “I didn’t notice the drinking and overlooked the drugs, which he said he didn’t do anymore and went ahead with plans for a big wedding; it was part of the fantasy of marrying Prince Charming”. As we said, the wedding is not the most important part of that night, but the actual “ever after” that follows.

 
 
 
 

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Latinas Shared The Movies And Shows That Made Them Feel Seen

Entertainment

Latinas Shared The Movies And Shows That Made Them Feel Seen

Nickelodeon

It’s no secret that over the past few decades, people of color worked to fight for equal representation on screens both big and small. While, of course, there have been great POC and LGTBQ relationships on television there’s really been a spike in the spectrum of representation since our early years watching television and learning about relationships.

Recently, we asked Latinas on Instagram what shows and movies featured their favorite most diverse couples.

And the answers threw us for a time loop!

Check them out below!


“Maria and Luis on Sesame Street.”- melissa_phillips71


“Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner is The Bodyguard, they reminded me of my parents and they loved to play the soundtrack.” –millenialmarta


“The leads in Someone Great, Jane and Michael the virgin and the lesbian relationship Gentrified. It’s been 30 years and I finally found characters I can relate to.” –allyss_abyss_

“Most definitely, “Brooklyn 99”: two female Hispanics as regulars and a white person playing a Hispanic (Andy Samberg’s character’s last name is Peralta, which is a Spanish surname).” – seadra2011

“Holt and Kevin(and Rosa Diaz) have changed the way people have perceived gay couples and gay people. Nine Nine!” –chaoticbiguy


“The first on-screen presence that made me feel seen/represented period was @justinamachado ‘s character on One Day At A Time. A Latina veteran struggling with her mental health while trying to juggle school, work, love, and family? And as a main character? Whew….“-vieja.metiche

“Taína! It was on Disney if I remember correctly?? Then @americaferrera in sisterhood of the traveling pants as Carmen. 😭❤️ her life was like mine. Growing up in suburbs but never really having a place culturally.. but my girlfriends still had my back no matter our background.” –chessy__a

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People Are Sharing Their Personal Experiences Of Feeling Shame Over Their Bisexuality And It’s Pretty Heartbreaking

Fierce

People Are Sharing Their Personal Experiences Of Feeling Shame Over Their Bisexuality And It’s Pretty Heartbreaking

mitu

It’s no secret that more than most sexualities, the bisexual experience is often invalidated and largely stigmatized. Often times, people who are bisexual are forced to shoulder the social stigmas from partners, friends, and family who believe that they are hiding their homosexuality, are sexually promiscuous, and or more likely to spread sexually transmitted diseases.

Curious about the effects of the stereotypes, we scoured Reddit for personal experiences with the sense of shame some people feel attached to their bisexual identity.

Check out what we found in one thread below.

https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/4r4ha4/does_anyone_else_feel_shame/

So, I’m bi and finding some videos on the youtubes about bisexuality and started watching videos of people saying being bi doesn’t exist. I also noticed on some apps like grindr and a few others who seemed to have a ‘problem’ with my being bi for some reason. Which makes me feel bad about being bi :c

“I was really insecure about my sexuality for a long time… I still kinda am but I’m mostly ok with it Now. Sometimes I even love it. I’m not really ashamed of it anymore, I’m just incredibly introverted and very private so I’m not open to most people about it. It took me several years to come to terms with my sexuality and accept myself and I still struggle with it sometimes. I used to wish I could just be straight. But now I feel like if there was something I could do to make myself straight, I wouldn’t do it.”-Strawbeerylemonade

“No I don’t feel bad about who I am. If someone doesn’t like me for who I am, I don’t want to date them.”- EnLaSxranko

“There is a lot of misconceptions about us in the gay and straight community. I don’t feel shame but I feel awkward. No matter who I choose to be with I feel I need to explain. I’m currently in an amazing opposite gender relationship with a queer woman who I adore and we encounter bi-phobia. Today I kissed her at Pride. We are in love and queer.
I hold my relationships with my male partners in high regard and will never be ashamed that I loved them (because of their gender). So like it or not, as queer people my love for my girlfriend will be political. oh well. I’m used to it and so is she.”- torontomammasboy

“Kinda. I find it embarrassing for some reason, kinda like if I had a skin condition or something. I actually came out to my parents yesterday and they haven’t disapproved or anything but I feel really weird that they know now. Kinda exposed feeling. It’s weird. I also get the whole shame part. I don’t want to be public about my same sex attractions in the sense that they are almost purely sexual in nature. I would probably not date a guy. I’m ashamed I have sexual feelings for men but really wouldn’t date them (I could do a BFF with benefits thing but it wouldn’t be romantic at all and I don’t think I’d ‘fall in love’).”- CompartmentalizeMyBi

“I’m 25 and am currently having my homophobic mother staying with me until she finds her own place. I’ve came out to her a couple of years ago, but she dismissed it as “foolishness” and has basically been in denial about it ever since. I basically have to tip-toe around her if I want to have another guy in my own apartment. That combined with my own internalized homophobia and biphobia makes it hard not to feel ashamed of my own attractions.” – acethunder21

“No I do not feel any shame. Mostly because I actually don’t give myself any label at all. And why I don’t give myself one is because honestly, I hate labels. For jobs, for relationships, for sexuality. It all is just not something I want to deal with. Now I’m not saying that any of the the labels you give yourself aren’t any real to you. You’re reality is just as personal to you, as mine is to me. And I don’t want to get in the way of how you want to live. And that’s how everyone should really treat each other about their sexuality. I’m nearly 17, (6 days from now) and male. I’m in love with my first, and 7-month boyfriend. A lot of my friends and family know this, and I didn’t feel any different coming out about it to them than when they did not know. When wondering about your sexuality, learn it like you would playing an rpg game. Go out and explore, and find what you like, and make it yours. Hopefully my tired 1:30 am rant meant something. Have a happy night and 4th if your in the good ol’ U.S. Of A like me.”-PopsOnTheRox

“I stopped giving a f*** about what people think eons ago. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them. Yours is the only one that should matter to you. Make yourself proud and you’ll find people respect and admire it.”-StroppyMantra

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