relationships

Remind Everyone That You Are The Prankster Of Your Familia With These Hilarious Gifts

“Beardo Baubles” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

Cousinship keeps us so warm at the holidays from pranking the tías to just plain old glances of solidarity across the Buena Noche table. We all know primos are the generation of the family we can generally breathe easy around. Behold all of the ways you can spice up your White Elephant gift exchange and primo gifting overall.

Mazapan Shirt | $30

CREDIT: DreamHeauxApparel / Etsy

Who are you calling soft? For the bitter, brittle and proud prima who tells it like it is. She’ll love this.

ThumbsUp Bubble Costume | $20

CREDIT: ThumbsUp / Etsy

We all know the fragile primo who cries at everything and anything. Make sure they know what you think of their sensitivity by giving them this outfit to make sure no one offends them again. Bonus points if it is mocking their fragile masculinity.

Cafe Bustelo Air Plant | $45

CREDIT: HelloHappyPlants / Etsy

For my isla Latinos who have a primo whose house air chemistry is made so much of Café Bustelo, its where plants go to die. Except for this air plant. It’ll thrive with a mist of cafecito once weekly.

Evriholder FURemover Broom with Squeegee | $15

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.

This is perfect for the shedder of the group. Sure, it is meant for dogs but your prima with the long hair everywhere will get more use out of it.

Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb | $20

CREDIT: edamame / YouTube

What might be a hilarious, colorful delightful gift to non-Latinos, this is the gift from hell when you throw a Latina mom in. They going to be in so much trouble.

I Flexed and The Sleeves Fell Off Tank | $9

CREDIT: CteesTees / Etsy

For the Crossfit primo. Yeah, yeah, we know, all your stories start at Crossfit. Ratify that character development.

Swimming Olympic Sloth Shower Curtain | $14.99

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.

Alternatively, this is for the Jonathan Van Ness in your life. She loves the Olympics but is the laziest person in existence. Proof you can have both.

Cardi B Quote Notebook | $8

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.

For the troubled prima who needs to do a little more self-work. Meet them where they’re at, which may be this Cardi B mantra. “I’m being nice to you. Have I stabbed you? No.” Cross your fingers and hope they start writing their feelings.

Blobfish Slippers | $40

CREDIT: “Blobfish Slippers” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

Got a cousin who’s dropping hints about wanting Christmas slippers? Nah? This gift needs no explanation. It’s just hilarious.

Creepy Doll Heads Vinyl Sticker Sheet Assorted Car and Laptop Decals $20

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.

For the cousin that works through every Buena Noche like a crazy person, gift ‘em early. Creepy baby head decals all over their laptop before they even open it.

Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy | $13

CREDIT: “Wacky Wavy Mini Tube Guy” Digital Image. Urban Outfitters. 15 November 2018.

We all have that cousin that is a proud car salesman. Well, if you live in Miami, then you do. While you’re tired of hearing him brag about his year-end sales, you know he’s the guy that would keep this guy on his desk. Make a guy happy.

Letters for a Year of Gratitude: Write Now. Keep in Touch Always. | $12

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.

This gift is perfect for the cousin who’s forever off the grid and hard to get a hold of. You can joke that this is the only way you know you’ll be able to reach them.

Ray Gun Nose Trimmer | $16.89

CREDIT: “Ray Gun Nose Trimmer” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

This gift is not gendered. We’re all hairy and while I’m here to support the free reign of body hair it can just be too much some times.

Beardo Baubles | $13

CREDIT: “Beardo Baubles” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

For the primo you only see at Christmas so you can’t imagine what their life is like any other day of the year.

Sleepy Head – Personalized Pillow Case | $26

CREDIT: “Sleepy Head – Personalised Pillow Case” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

We all know how to use social media to find the worst photos of our primos. Take them and make these hilarious pillows. They might be upset but the whole family will love it.

Personalized Hot Heads | $20

CREDIT: “Personalised Hot Heads” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

Put their face to use and gift these to each of your primitas suffering through the PMS they inherited from our mamas.

The Happy (happy!!!) Holiday Pot Cookie Cookbook + Cookie Cutter Gift Set | $17

CREDIT: “Slide View: 1: The Happy (happy!!!) Holiday Pot Cookie Cookbook + Cookie Cutter Gift Set” Digital Image. Urban Outfitters. 15 November 2018.

The real prank comes after you gift this on Noche Buena and start baking the following morning and the tias all start sneaking the cookies. Strategize accordingly.

Ben & Jerry’s Euphori-Lock Ice Cream Pint Combination Lock Protector | $35.95

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.

Think carefully about who you’re trying to prank here because it’s going to be indirect. Choose your favorite primo and prank their hermanos.

Crafting With Cat Hair | $15.59

CREDIT: “Crafting With Cat Hair” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.

For the primo that is married to their cat. A small part of you knows they’ll be excited by this.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark: The Complete 3-Book Collection By Alvin Schwartz | $20

CREDIT: “Slide View: 1: Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark: The Complete 3-Book Collection By Alvin Schwartz” Digital Image. Urban Outfitters. 15 November 2018.

We all read these books as kids, and there was always one cousin who was petrified. Hype this one up as something they’re really going to love and watch their sweet face drop in terror when they realize what you’ve just given them.

Naughty Prima Camiseta | $24.99

CREDIT: we are mitú

Check out our collection of the naughty and nice prima shirt so you can once and for all make everyone’s roles clear. Our family collection is no joke (unless you’re a prankster, then, yes, it’s all for you).


READ: For Less Than $25, You Can Be Better Than Your Siblings At Giving Gifts To Your Mom

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J Balvin Casually Serves Coffee From A NY Truck And People Have No Idea Who He Is

Entertainment

J Balvin Casually Serves Coffee From A NY Truck And People Have No Idea Who He Is

There’s no one who loves coffee more than J Balvin. The Colombian trap artist posts videos on Instagram or Instagram Stories just about every morning at 5 a.m. of himself drinking coffee, meditating and thanking the universe for its infinite blessings. This morning, the “Mi Gente” crooner got a chance to share his favorite morning routine with local New Yorkers. 

J Balvin took over a coffee and pastry truck in New York to casually pour cups of cafecito to locals.

@jbalvin / Instagram

“¡Buenos días, buenos días, buenos días mi gente! Buena vibra para todo el mundo estoy aquí atendiendo con buena vibra a todo el mundo como siempre,” exclaims the colombiano. 

“Estoy feliz, estoy agradecido con la vida. Y empiezo la Gira Arcoíris con el pueblo, con mi gente el 30 de agosto. Allí nos vemos, Arcoíris Tour el 30 en Puerto Rico para mi gente,” he adds reminding his followers that his tour starts at the end of August in Puerto Rico. 

A couple of people stopped by the impromptu Balvin Coffee Truck but seemingly have no idea who he is. 

@jbalvin / Instagram

A few people stop J Balvin’s truck but given their calm demeanor, probably have no idea that they are being served by the YouTube’s most streamed artist. Back in June 2018 Billboard reported that J Balvin had officially become the most streamed artist on Spotify, knocking Drake from the top spot. Balvin’s single “X” with Nicky Jam was streamed more than 327 million times at the time of the publication. 

“Thank you for your service.”

@jbalvin / Instagram

“Thank you for your service” is really the only verbal communication that is captured in the Instagram video. It’s still unclear what service J Blavin thanks his customers for, but we’re laughing along with the person recording the video.  

Most people in the comments want to know where they can get a cup of freshly brewed Balvin coffee but others are thanking him for being sanitary. 

@jbalvin / Instagram

Songwriter and DJ Diplo thanks J Balvin for not serving pastries with bare hands. Although, however, we did notice Balvin’s pink hair was fully exposed and he was not wearing a hairnet. Rookie move, right?

People highlighted that only a humble artist like Balvin would park in the middle of New York to serve coffee. 

So querido Balvin, we thank YOU for your service. 

A Florida Department of Health Clinic Is Forcing Their Puerto Rican Employees Not To Speak Spanish

Things That Matter

A Florida Department of Health Clinic Is Forcing Their Puerto Rican Employees Not To Speak Spanish

@RippDemUp / Twitter

When applying to most local, federal, and government jobs, one of the skills that a majority of employers look for is whether or not the applicant speaks Spanish. Being bilingual in English and Spanish in this country is beneficial to the employer, their customers, and the employee because typically the job is supposed to have a better salary. There are also some places in the country that have large populations of people who speak Spanish and are more comfortable functioning in that language.

There are an estimated 41 million people that speak Spanish in the U.S., or 13 percent of the population, according to Babble. So, speaking Spanish isn’t — at least it should be — a big deal, in fact, it’s quite common. But in Trump America, it’s another story. 

Seven female workers with the Florida Department of Health are coming forward to say they have gotten direct instructions not to speak Spanish in the office. 

Credit: @geronimoproduc1 / Twitter

The women say that even though they were hired because of their Spanish-speaking skills, so they could communicate better with their patients, they are now told not to speak the language with one another in the office. 

“We speak in English to the Anglo-Saxons because we are polite, but we speak Spanish with each other because we think in Spanish,” MairylÍ Miranda, a nurse, told El Nuevo DÍa. “But one day they gathered us all together and warned us that if we continued to do so, we would be fired. But there is no law that bans us from speaking Spanish.”

The seven women on the complaint work at a Florida Department of Health clinic in Haines City, and are also all Puerto Rican. 

Credit: @MDBlanchfield / Twitter

Aside from nurses, the employees on the complaint include an administrative assistant and a secretary. The Florida Department of Health has yet to make a public comment about these allegations. They also allege that management has been on them to stop speaking Spanish for quite some time, but it has only gotten worse in the past year. An official harassment report has been filed to the police department, but the women said nothing has yet to be done.

“It feels like you’re a criminal like you’re doing something that is wrong,” Miranda said, according to Bay News 9. “Never in my life did I think I was going to go through a situation like this one.”

Some people may assume that these employees are speaking Spanish in a way that others may think is rude. But they claim they are very professional at work and never speak Spanish around someone that may not understand them.

While these claims aren’t surprising, especially under this tense and traumatic Trump-era racism, it’s reassuring to know that state and local officials are supporting these employees.

Credit: @relevanne / Twitter

“Haines City is a well-diversified community,” Haines City Mayor Morris West said in a conference, according to the Palm Beach Post. “The facility that’s in question is in Haines City but is not a city of Haines City facility. I stand on behalf of these nurses that’s been [facing] allegations of discrimination against them. Haines City and my staff stand ready to support you nurses from any discrimination.”

Other advocates of these women include Respeta Mi Gente Coalition, which includes Alianza for Progress, Boricua Vota, Hispanic Federation, Misión Boricua, and Organize Florida. U.S. Rep. Darren Soto is also backing these women. 

It’s important to note that the United States does not have an official language.

Credit: @livesinpages / Twitter

For all those people yelling at others, demanding them to speak Spanish, they should know English is not the official language in the U.S

There is nothing in the Constitution that states people in the United States, both citizens or otherwise, have to speak English and English only. Scholars say that the Founding Fathers didn’t include a clause about the English language because immigrants of the 13 colonies spoke other languages, including Dutch, French, and German. Native Americans spoke different languages as well. 

Lawmakers in the past, as recent as 2006, have attempted to make English the official language but thankfully, because of our democracy, the votes have never gone past the House. That doesn’t mean local and government officials haven’t tried to force English on everyone. It’s just part of our assimilation whether we like it or not. 

So the next time someone is yelling racist things such as “stop speaking Spanish” just yell back “English is not the official language of this country. Bye!” 

READ: A Puerto Rican Woman Serving In The Air Force Was Told To Stop Speaking Spanish While At Starbucks

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