Remind Everyone That You Are The Prankster Of Your Familia With These Hilarious Gifts
Cousinship keeps us so warm at the holidays from pranking the tías to just plain old glances of solidarity across the Buena Noche table. We all know primos are the generation of the family we can generally breathe easy around. Behold all of the ways you can spice up your White Elephant gift exchange and primo gifting overall.
Mazapan Shirt | $30DreamHeauxApparel / Etsy
Who are you calling soft? For the bitter, brittle and proud prima who tells it like it is. She’ll love this.
ThumbsUp Bubble Costume | $20ThumbsUp / Etsy
We all know the fragile primo who cries at everything and anything. Make sure they know what you think of their sensitivity by giving them this outfit to make sure no one offends them again. Bonus points if it is mocking their fragile masculinity.
Cafe Bustelo Air Plant | $45HelloHappyPlants / Etsy
For my isla Latinos who have a primo whose house air chemistry is made so much of Café Bustelo, its where plants go to die. Except for this air plant. It’ll thrive with a mist of cafecito once weekly.
Evriholder FURemover Broom with Squeegee | $15Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.
This is perfect for the shedder of the group. Sure, it is meant for dogs but your prima with the long hair everywhere will get more use out of it.
Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb | $20edamame / YouTube
What might be a hilarious, colorful delightful gift to non-Latinos, this is the gift from hell when you throw a Latina mom in. They going to be in so much trouble.
I Flexed and The Sleeves Fell Off Tank | $9CteesTees / Etsy
For the Crossfit primo. Yeah, yeah, we know, all your stories start at Crossfit. Ratify that character development.
Swimming Olympic Sloth Shower Curtain | $14.99Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.
Alternatively, this is for the Jonathan Van Ness in your life. She loves the Olympics but is the laziest person in existence. Proof you can have both.
Cardi B Quote Notebook | $8Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.
For the troubled prima who needs to do a little more self-work. Meet them where they’re at, which may be this Cardi B mantra. “I’m being nice to you. Have I stabbed you? No.” Cross your fingers and hope they start writing their feelings.
Blobfish Slippers | $40“Blobfish Slippers” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.
Got a cousin who’s dropping hints about wanting Christmas slippers? Nah? This gift needs no explanation. It’s just hilarious.
Creepy Doll Heads Vinyl Sticker Sheet Assorted Car and Laptop Decals $20Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.
For the cousin that works through every Buena Noche like a crazy person, gift ‘em early. Creepy baby head decals all over their laptop before they even open it.
Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy | $13“Wacky Wavy Mini Tube Guy” Digital Image. Urban Outfitters. 15 November 2018.
We all have that cousin that is a proud car salesman. Well, if you live in Miami, then you do. While you’re tired of hearing him brag about his year-end sales, you know he’s the guy that would keep this guy on his desk. Make a guy happy.
Letters for a Year of Gratitude: Write Now. Keep in Touch Always. | $12Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.
This gift is perfect for the cousin who’s forever off the grid and hard to get a hold of. You can joke that this is the only way you know you’ll be able to reach them.
Ray Gun Nose Trimmer | $16.89“Ray Gun Nose Trimmer” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.
This gift is not gendered. We’re all hairy and while I’m here to support the free reign of body hair it can just be too much some times.
Beardo Baubles | $13“Beardo Baubles” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.
For the primo you only see at Christmas so you can’t imagine what their life is like any other day of the year.
Sleepy Head – Personalized Pillow Case | $26“Sleepy Head – Personalised Pillow Case” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.
We all know how to use social media to find the worst photos of our primos. Take them and make these hilarious pillows. They might be upset but the whole family will love it.
Personalized Hot Heads | $20“Personalised Hot Heads” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.
Put their face to use and gift these to each of your primitas suffering through the PMS they inherited from our mamas.
The Happy (happy!!!) Holiday Pot Cookie Cookbook + Cookie Cutter Gift Set | $17“Slide View: 1: The Happy (happy!!!) Holiday Pot Cookie Cookbook + Cookie Cutter Gift Set” Digital Image. Urban Outfitters. 15 November 2018.
The real prank comes after you gift this on Noche Buena and start baking the following morning and the tias all start sneaking the cookies. Strategize accordingly.
Ben & Jerry’s Euphori-Lock Ice Cream Pint Combination Lock Protector | $35.95Untitled. Digital Image. Amazon. 15 November 2018.
Think carefully about who you’re trying to prank here because it’s going to be indirect. Choose your favorite primo and prank their hermanos.
Crafting With Cat Hair | $15.59“Crafting With Cat Hair” Digital Image. Firebox. 14 November 2018.
For the primo that is married to their cat. A small part of you knows they’ll be excited by this.
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark: The Complete 3-Book Collection By Alvin Schwartz | $20“Slide View: 1: Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark: The Complete 3-Book Collection By Alvin Schwartz” Digital Image. Urban Outfitters. 15 November 2018.
We all read these books as kids, and there was always one cousin who was petrified. Hype this one up as something they’re really going to love and watch their sweet face drop in terror when they realize what you’ve just given them.
Naughty Prima Camiseta | $24.99we are mitú
Check out our collection of the naughty and nice prima shirt so you can once and for all make everyone’s roles clear. Our family collection is no joke (unless you’re a prankster, then, yes, it’s all for you).
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