relationships

Here’s All The Proof You Need To Prove That Your Primos Make The Holidays Worth Celebrating

For all the time we spend talking to our therapists about la chancla and our fear of facing the wrath of maintaining an impossibly clean house during the holidays, we spend 0 percent of our time talking about los primos. That’s because they save the holidays. They help you love every aspect of your weird childhood and feel honored af to be a member of the coolest generation.

They’ve been there for all the mom-ragers, poolside grilled cheeses, and hurricane parties, and not a single family gathering would be tolerable without them. If you have primos, then you already know.

1. Your primos are effectively tus hermanos.

CREDIT: @paocelis / Twitter

You were co-parented by your mom and tía (formally known as The Moms), and you all learned to swim, blow bubbles in the pool, and sneak out of the house together. This Latino gang goes way back.

2. No pool party was complete without them.

CREDIT: @Sebacarianco / Twitter

Why? Because you needed their collective begging to convince The Moms that we were going to be the most annoying children in the world unless they let us in the pool, even though they just cleaned the house.

3. Stuck inside during a hurricane? Thank Dios tus primos are here.

CREDIT: @vickbezerra / Instagram

If not, you’d be forced to help apply Vaporub to your abuelo’s wrists, ears, and ankles, for whatever reason. Instead, you get to team up to get a rise out of your youngest primo who hates the game of Life and always will.

4. The actual game of Life gets more fun as you get older.

CREDIT: @JamxSirius_ASR / Twitter

We went from making potions out of Listerine and toothpaste and maple syrup and leaving it in our parents’ mouthwash to sneaking tequila in the bottle of orange juice and sneaking out.

5. As adults, you go home for the primos.

They’re the generation that has the common sense not to wear MAGA hats and betray our Latinidad. Maybe I’m projecting, but this is the generation we’ll have till death do us part.

6. They told us Santa wasn’t real.

CREDIT: @CorkinsCaleb / Twitter

If you were the oldest sibling in your family branch, then your prima was the one who told you that the reason Santa wants sugar free cookies and Diet Coke is because Santa is The Moms. ????

It’s cruel, but we’re glad it was a prima and not some pedestrian friend.

7. They also muscled through Communion and Confirmation with us.

CREDIT: @DiocesisVitoria / Twitter

Being forced to take CCD classes and profess your faith, whether you had la fe or nah, was so much more fun with a sacrilegious cousin or two to join you. At one point, my prima told me that she “can’t wait until I grow out of this [God-believing] phase.” ????

8. The group text is always entertaining. See this “Marry, Fuck, Kill” con mis primos:

CREDIT: Courtesy Danielli Marzouca

You marry the bread-winner and wine-maker. Duhhh.

You also make sure your moms never ever see your texts because you’re still high key afraid of them even though we’re grown. My mom has no idea where to find my content and never will.

9. Really, you know you’re close because your Moms are obsessed with each other.

CREDIT: Janet Marzouca / Facebook

It feels good to be able to talk to someone about how The Moms know that they were married in a past life in Italy and one of them died by a bomb and that they’re soulmates. ????

Yeah, we’re all close. We’re Latinos.

10. You’ve been playing the Mannequin Challenge since you were un jóven.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Jonathan Lack. 23 July 2018.

While The Moms were shopping and bonding, and we were exploding with the rage of boredom. We pretended we were mannequins in department stores and running from the insides of clothes racks to clothes racks playing made up games.

I guess they helped with our imagination.

11. Because they know us so well, our primos know how to push our buttons like nadie.

CREDIT: @paraiso_del_meme / Instagram

You’re just chillin’, minding your own business, being a Diet Coke like your Mamma raised you, and your primo can make you explode with emotion with a simple, “You’re the whitest cousin.”

12. The family dynamic did not include the uncles who married in.

CREDIT: @iamcardib / Instagram

It doesn’t matter what our dads said. The Moms were in charge and we knew exactly who to tattle to. Just like a Young Cardi B. ????

13. They will vouch for the chancla abuse your mom conveniently forgot.

CREDIT: @bronxstrong / Twitter

“OH, no te recuerdes that time you shoved me into a garbage can?! Cecily does.”

Make sure there are no chanclas around to rebuff your claim.

14. They told you what TV shows and artists were cool.

CREDIT: @-_nicholasfung / Twitter

While I was in the land of Motown and Celia Cruz, my primos told me I should be listening to Menudo and watching Hey, Arnold, not The Days of Our Lives.

Thank you a million.

15. Tus primas taught you how to look your own age.

CREDIT: @itscamilasbaby1 / Twitter

Because up until then, you were wearing bedazzled denim caps and newsboy caps with gold shimmer lipstick. ???? Thanks for teaching us that cat-eye, Camila. Adopt me as your cousin?

16. You were never alone growing up.

CREDIT: @arqgabyibarra / Instagram

Whether you wanted to be or not, and you’ll never be alone in your life again. There will always be a new cousin, or an old cousin, to ignite your fire for life.

Even better.

17. And believe in a God only because life would be worthless without your primos.

CREDIT: Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

My and my cousin, Cecily, would tell each other that we weren’t just soulmates, we were the other half of each other’s souls. We were attached at the hip and beyond obsessed with each other, and childhood would have been just a montage of chanclas and child labor without each other. Te quiero, prima.

18. And as adults, you have your own Banned Book Club.

Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

Of course, the oldest cousin is the organizer. We start with authors we were banned from reading as kids because eso es el anticristo. Then, all 47 of us hop on a call together! #adulting

19. Your Latino gang has strength in numbers.

CREDIT: @riss_xoxo_ / Twitter

Please listen to “I Like It” by Cardi B immediately if you aren’t picking up that reference. Whether you’re the Puerto Rican or Cuban cousins, you have a whole squad who will go to bat for you, even against The Moms.

20. So go find your favorite primos and thank them for their service.

CREDIT: @laystateno / Instagram

You wouldn’t be who you are today without them, and wouldn’t want to be anything or anyone else. If you’re too choked up and at a loss for words, just share this page, we won’t stop you. ????

Te quiero, mis primos!


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

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Pablo Escobar’s Opens Up About Being Rescued By An MI6 Agent During A Shootout That Killed His Mom

Things That Matter

Pablo Escobar’s Opens Up About Being Rescued By An MI6 Agent During A Shootout That Killed His Mom

BBC Newsnight / YouTube

Pablo Escobar is one of the most notorious drug lords to ever be. Years later, his story continues to unfold and this time it is because of his first-born son who was adopted by an MI6 agent.

A man in Europe has come forward as Pablo Escobar’s long-lost first-born son.

Roberto Sendoya Escobar, who lives in Mallorca, Spain under his adopted name of Phillip Witcomb, first found out that he was Pablo Escobar’s son in 1989. His adoptive father, an MI6 agent, told him when he was 24. Since then, Roberto Escobar has been trying to figure out how to absorb this identity into his life.

In an interview with BBC Newsnight, Roberto admitted to never really knowing who Pablo was at first.

After his adoptive father told him the news, Roberto had to do some research to figure out who Pablo was. However, Roberto did spend time going back to Colombia with his dad and met Pablo. The reason was that his adoptive father was still trying to keep Pablo close for his own undercover work.

“I just remember the smell of the guy and I also remember, to be honest with you, a bit intimidated,” Roberto recalls. “I was quite a young child and I didn’t really understand what was going on.”

While he barely remembers, Roberto’s adoptive dad rescued him after a shoot out that killed his mom.

In his interview with BBC Newsnight, Roberto says he doesn’t remember the shoot out because he was an infant. However, he does have random moments of remembering big flashes of the gunfight but nothing of a coherent memory of the shooting.

It was during that shootout that Roberto’s adoptive father discovered him and adopted him. When Roberto was older he was sent to boarding school in the U.K. and grew up as part of the Witcomb family.

You can watch the rest of the interview and learn about the series of events leading to the revelation.

Realy goes to show that some people have a lot to learn about their own pasts. Some times things are not close to what they seem.

READ: Pablo Escobar Once Had Four Pet Hippos, Now There’s More Than 80 And They’re Destroying Colombia’s Ecosystem

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‘Glee’ Creators Have Announced A College Fund They Are Creating For Naya Rivera’s Son

Entertainment

‘Glee’ Creators Have Announced A College Fund They Are Creating For Naya Rivera’s Son

Gregg Deguire / Getty Images

There are still a lot of questions surrounding Naya Rivera’s sudden and tragic death. The 33-year-old actress is survived by her young son Josey and the creators of “Glee” are coming together to help his future.

“Glee” creators Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk have announced a college fund for Naya Rivera’s son.

Josey Hollis Dorsey, who is 4 years old, was with his mother when she tragically died on Lake Piru in Ventura County, California. Since the discovery of Rivera’s body, the cast and creators of “Glee” have shared touching tributes to the actress and singer.

“Our hearts go out to her family, especially her mom Yolanda, who was a big part of the ‘Glee’ family and her son Josey,” reads the statement by the three creators. “The three of use are currently in the process of creating a college fund for the beautiful son Naya loved most of all.”

The statement comes with the backdrop that Rivera sacrificed her own life to save her son.

According to the official autopsy, Rivera’s cause fo death was drowning in Lake Piru. The actress had rented a pontoon boat for her and her son to enjoy some time together on the lake around the 4th of July holiday. According to officials, Rivera made the ultimate sacrifice for her son.

“She mustered enough energy to get her son back onto the boat, but not enough to save herself,” Ventura County Sheriff Bill Ayub said in a press conference, according to CNN.

Her former “Glee” classmates remember Rivera as a loving and kind person.

It is clear that Rivera left an indelible mark on everyone she worked with. Her passion for life and her craft is evident in the constant outpouring of love from friends, family, and costars as they continue to try to make sense of the tragedy.

Rest in peace, Naya.

READ: Queer People Are Shouting Their Gratitude For Naya Rivera’s Trailblazing Character Santana Lopez

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