relationships

Here’s All The Proof You Need To Prove That Your Primos Make The Holidays Worth Celebrating

laystateno / Instagram

For all the time we spend talking to our therapists about la chancla and our fear of facing the wrath of maintaining an impossibly clean house during the holidays, we spend 0 percent of our time talking about los primos. That’s because they save the holidays. They help you love every aspect of your weird childhood and feel honored af to be a member of the coolest generation.

They’ve been there for all the mom-ragers, poolside grilled cheeses, and hurricane parties, and not a single family gathering would be tolerable without them. If you have primos, then you already know.

1. Your primos are effectively tus hermanos.

CREDIT: @paocelis / Twitter

You were co-parented by your mom and tía (formally known as The Moms), and you all learned to swim, blow bubbles in the pool, and sneak out of the house together. This Latino gang goes way back.

2. No pool party was complete without them.

CREDIT: @Sebacarianco / Twitter

Why? Because you needed their collective begging to convince The Moms that we were going to be the most annoying children in the world unless they let us in the pool, even though they just cleaned the house.

3. Stuck inside during a hurricane? Thank Dios tus primos are here.

CREDIT: @vickbezerra / Instagram

If not, you’d be forced to help apply Vaporub to your abuelo’s wrists, ears, and ankles, for whatever reason. Instead, you get to team up to get a rise out of your youngest primo who hates the game of Life and always will.

4. The actual game of Life gets more fun as you get older.

CREDIT: @JamxSirius_ASR / Twitter

We went from making potions out of Listerine and toothpaste and maple syrup and leaving it in our parents’ mouthwash to sneaking tequila in the bottle of orange juice and sneaking out.

5. As adults, you go home for the primos.

They’re the generation that has the common sense not to wear MAGA hats and betray our Latinidad. Maybe I’m projecting, but this is the generation we’ll have till death do us part.

6. They told us Santa wasn’t real.

CREDIT: @CorkinsCaleb / Twitter

If you were the oldest sibling in your family branch, then your prima was the one who told you that the reason Santa wants sugar free cookies and Diet Coke is because Santa is The Moms. 🙄

It’s cruel, but we’re glad it was a prima and not some pedestrian friend.

7. They also muscled through Communion and Confirmation with us.

CREDIT: @DiocesisVitoria / Twitter

Being forced to take CCD classes and profess your faith, whether you had la fe or nah, was so much more fun with a sacrilegious cousin or two to join you. At one point, my prima told me that she “can’t wait until I grow out of this [God-believing] phase.” 😂

8. The group text is always entertaining. See this “Marry, Fuck, Kill” con mis primos:

CREDIT: Courtesy Danielli Marzouca

You marry the bread-winner and wine-maker. Duhhh.

You also make sure your moms never ever see your texts because you’re still high key afraid of them even though we’re grown. My mom has no idea where to find my content and never will.

9. Really, you know you’re close because your Moms are obsessed with each other.

CREDIT: Janet Marzouca / Facebook

It feels good to be able to talk to someone about how The Moms know that they were married in a past life in Italy and one of them died by a bomb and that they’re soulmates. 😅

Yeah, we’re all close. We’re Latinos.

10. You’ve been playing the Mannequin Challenge since you were un jóven.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Jonathan Lack. 23 July 2018.

While The Moms were shopping and bonding, and we were exploding with the rage of boredom. We pretended we were mannequins in department stores and running from the insides of clothes racks to clothes racks playing made up games.

I guess they helped with our imagination.

11. Because they know us so well, our primos know how to push our buttons like nadie.

CREDIT: @paraiso_del_meme / Instagram

You’re just chillin’, minding your own business, being a Diet Coke like your Mamma raised you, and your primo can make you explode with emotion with a simple, “You’re the whitest cousin.”

12. The family dynamic did not include the uncles who married in.

CREDIT: @iamcardib / Instagram

It doesn’t matter what our dads said. The Moms were in charge and we knew exactly who to tattle to. Just like a Young Cardi B. 🤣

13. They will vouch for the chancla abuse your mom conveniently forgot.

CREDIT: @bronxstrong / Twitter

“OH, no te recuerdes that time you shoved me into a garbage can?! Cecily does.”

Make sure there are no chanclas around to rebuff your claim.

14. They told you what TV shows and artists were cool.

CREDIT: @-_nicholasfung / Twitter

While I was in the land of Motown and Celia Cruz, my primos told me I should be listening to Menudo and watching Hey, Arnold, not The Days of Our Lives.

Thank you a million.

15. Tus primas taught you how to look your own age.

CREDIT: @itscamilasbaby1 / Twitter

Because up until then, you were wearing bedazzled denim caps and newsboy caps with gold shimmer lipstick. 😑 Thanks for teaching us that cat-eye, Camila. Adopt me as your cousin?

16. You were never alone growing up.

CREDIT: @arqgabyibarra / Instagram

Whether you wanted to be or not, and you’ll never be alone in your life again. There will always be a new cousin, or an old cousin, to ignite your fire for life.

Even better.

17. And believe in a God only because life would be worthless without your primos.

CREDIT: Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

My and my cousin, Cecily, would tell each other that we weren’t just soulmates, we were the other half of each other’s souls. We were attached at the hip and beyond obsessed with each other, and childhood would have been just a montage of chanclas and child labor without each other. Te quiero, prima.

18. And as adults, you have your own Banned Book Club.

Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

Of course, the oldest cousin is the organizer. We start with authors we were banned from reading as kids because eso es el anticristo. Then, all 47 of us hop on a call together! #adulting

19. Your Latino gang has strength in numbers.

CREDIT: @riss_xoxo_ / Twitter

Please listen to “I Like It” by Cardi B immediately if you aren’t picking up that reference. Whether you’re the Puerto Rican or Cuban cousins, you have a whole squad who will go to bat for you, even against The Moms.

20. So go find your favorite primos and thank them for their service.

CREDIT: @laystateno / Instagram

You wouldn’t be who you are today without them, and wouldn’t want to be anything or anyone else. If you’re too choked up and at a loss for words, just share this page, we won’t stop you. 😉

Te quiero, mis primos!


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

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The Internet Has Figured Out The #DisneylandFight Story And It Is A Doozy

Things That Matter

The Internet Has Figured Out The #DisneylandFight Story And It Is A Doozy

Inman Entertainment / YouTube

In case you missed it, there was a full out, nearly five-minute brawl at Disneyland on Sunday, and it was all captured on video. In the brutal video, we mostly see a man in a red shirt throwing punches at several different women and men. The actions are hard to watch, but the startling scene has the Internet obsessed. The brawl broke out right in front of Goofy’s Playhouse in Toontown, and the original video clip now has over 3 million views. Everyone in the brawl is assumed to be part of the same family.

If you’ve seen the video, you’ve probably only had the emotional bandwidth to ask this question.

 
Credit: @boopluvv / Twitter

Someone insulted someone’s mother, another mother was thrown to the ground, and it seems like everyone is just going at each other, regardless of gender or relation. It was a sad scene to 

The narrative of the story is that they are related, hence the fact that they stayed together despite the fighting.

Credit: SJP35 Productions / YouTube

It doesn’t seem like it’s two separate families defending their own. They seem to be related to each other, which makes the fight exceptionally sad.

The Internet has provided a flow chart.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Credit: @dipbih / Twitter

None of this is confirmed by the family or authorities. We’re all in this together. From here on out, the term “we” will be used to describe the collective Internet “we.” We think White Shirt girl, Red Shirt and Black Shirt Girl are all siblings. Their mom is the Mama in the wheelchair.

White Shirt Girl dissed Red Shirt Guy’s girlfriend (Tan Shirt Girl).

Credit: SJP35 Productions / YouTube

Red Shirt Guy clearly has the biggest temper of them all, and resorted to physically attacking (what we think is) his sister. Her boyfriend (White Shirt Guy) stepped in to defend her. Then they start dancing around like they’re in a boxing ring. Black Shirt girl tries to intervene to get them to stop fighting. Then White Shirt guy just punches Tan Shirt Girl (Red Shirt’s girlfriend) straight in the nose. Now it’s really getting heated between Red Shirt Guy and White Shirt Guy.

While trying to intervene, Mama gets knocked down in the fight.

Credit: SJP35 Productions / YouTube

Now Red Shirt Guy is yelling, “I’m ready to go to jail tonight. I’m ready to go to jail.” Then Red Shirt Guy sees White Shirt Guy and starts yelling “fired on my motherf***ing b****, put your hands around my b****!” White Shirt Guy starts retreating, but Red Shirt Guy pulls White Shirt Guy’s girlfriend (also wearing a white shirt) by her hair.

Things start to calm down until Black Shirt Girl tells Red Shirt Guy that his girlfriend (Tan Shirt Girl) hit his Mama.

Credit: SJP35 Productions / YouTube

He turns to his girlfriend saying, “You hit my mama?” Tan shirt tries to explain that it was an accident (it was), but he punches her straight in the face. Then he starts violently pounding on her on the ground while a group of people tries to lift him off her. He pulls her hair along with him. Red Shirt Guy is finally restrained in a chokehold, and then the security finally shows up.

This whole time, the only Disney employee intervening is an older custodian.

Credit: @etherealtb / Twitter

Our hearts dropped for fear this older man would be violently attacked but he thankfully wasn’t. There are memes on memes of other Disney employees in costume just standing around.

Other folks are getting philosophical about the many bystanders who did nothing.

Credit: @lexiivilla / Twitter

Magic Mountain is side-eyeing this whole brawl so hard right now.

Meanwhile, Universal fans are taking the moment to show appreciation for their theme park of choice.

Credit: @ladante15 / Twitter

For all the shade amusement park goers throw at each other, we still don’t understand how this mega fight happened in Toontown.

This one media outlet’s narration has truly tickled The Internet.

Credit: @Iffy_Mae / Twitter

This reporter describes the fight with vivid detail. Rewatching the fight with narration that sounds like “but then, he slapped the daylights out of her,” is truly rewarding if you’re into that kind of thing.

The family maintains it never happened.

Credit: @j_t_starwars / Twitter

The family was all released once they all told park authorities that the fight never happened. Once the video footage came out, however, their questionable loyalty didn’t matter.  Orange County prosecutors are currently reviewing the video to determine whether criminal charges will be filed. If they decide to file felony charges, the county district attorney’s office will also assess misdemeanor counts. If they don’t find any grounds for felony charges, the Anaheim city attorney would take over to pursue misdemeanor charges.

You can watch the fight below.

READ: Trump Supporter Fights FX’s “Pose” Star Indya Moore Outside Of Her TV Studio

[Video] This Video Of A Teen At Her Quinceañera Sobbing For Her Father Is So Incredibly Sad

Culture

[Video] This Video Of A Teen At Her Quinceañera Sobbing For Her Father Is So Incredibly Sad

There seems to be no end to the horrifying stories we’ve been hearing that illustrate the fallout of the Trump Administration’s “zero tolerance” immigration policy one which has been the hallmark of his presidency since he took office. Among the headlines that describe the effects of the immigration policy are those highlighting the sub-human conditions at the migrant-holding facilities at the border, or the those telling the terrifying stories of students being taken into ICE custody right before their high school graduation.

And the sad news doesn’t stop there.

Recently, a Latina’s Twitter post went viral when she shared the story of her niece being forced to dance el valz at her Quinceañera with her brother after her father was “taken” by immigration.

Twitter user @prisesaks took to Twitter on Monday to share a video of her young cousin dancing what is traditionally the father-daughter dance while holding her brother and crying. “So my uncle which is her dad was taken by immigration a week before her 15 and sadly he wasn’t able to be there,” @prisesaks said. “Her brother had to take his place in the father/daughter dance. It just broke my heart”.

The heart-tugging video shows the 15-year-old girl holding her brother while slow dancing with him. Her hand covers her mouth as she tries to hold back sobs. Her brother also looks visibly emotional.

The video and Tweet quickly went viral, racking up almost 3.5 million views, over 60,000 retweets, and almost 1,500 comments.

The traditional father/daughter dance at a Quinceañera is one of the most important parts of the birthday celebration and also a moment that many young Latinas look back on as a defining moment of transition from youth to adulthood. The fact that this Latina’s father could not be there to celebrate it with her is understandably upsetting for many people.

Twitter users responded to the video with a spectrum of emotions ranging from pity to outrage.

It’s understandable that such an emotionally-charged video can bring up a lot of feelings in people. Quinceañeras are supposed to be a day of celebration–a time in a Latina’s life when she gets to be “Queen for a Day” and she officially begins the transition from a child to a young woman. Unfortunately, this young woman’s entry into adulthood was much sadder than she had anticipated.

This Twitter user brought up a valid point about the difference between flashy headlines and the fact that people’s lives are actually being affected:

With all of the political tactics and clickbait articles that go around online, it’s easy to forget that there are humans beings involved in the immigration debate.

This Latina was heartbroken over the separation of a family:

After hearing stories of the appalling behavior of border control agents mocking migrant deaths and making fun of their pain, it’s easy to feel jaded towards immigration officials.

This Latina gave props to where props were due for the younger brother for stepping up for his sister:

The burden of family separation should not have to be placed on the shoulders of young ones.

Even the birthday girl’s older sister took to Twitter to express her appreciation that their story was being told:

Although their family’s situation is a tragedy, it’s a blessing that they have a platform to educate the world on the everyday realities of family separation.

This man educated the public on how important the father/daughter dance is to many young Latinas:

We can’t imagine how the young girl was feeling at the moment.

The video is just more evidence of how Trump’s policy of family separation has a real, lasting impact on Latino families. While statistics and news article tell a part of the story, the numbers and abstract policy discussion don’t illustrate the full picture like these small, intimate glimpses into the lives of Latinx families whose lives are forever changed by the Trump administration. Moments like these are formative in young adults’ lives, and this girl will forever have to look back on what was supposed to be a special day with bittersweet feelings.

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