relationships

Here’s All The Proof You Need To Prove That Your Primos Make The Holidays Worth Celebrating

For all the time we spend talking to our therapists about la chancla and our fear of facing the wrath of maintaining an impossibly clean house during the holidays, we spend 0 percent of our time talking about los primos. That’s because they save the holidays. They help you love every aspect of your weird childhood and feel honored af to be a member of the coolest generation.

They’ve been there for all the mom-ragers, poolside grilled cheeses, and hurricane parties, and not a single family gathering would be tolerable without them. If you have primos, then you already know.

1. Your primos are effectively tus hermanos.

CREDIT: @paocelis / Twitter

You were co-parented by your mom and tía (formally known as The Moms), and you all learned to swim, blow bubbles in the pool, and sneak out of the house together. This Latino gang goes way back.

2. No pool party was complete without them.

CREDIT: @Sebacarianco / Twitter

Why? Because you needed their collective begging to convince The Moms that we were going to be the most annoying children in the world unless they let us in the pool, even though they just cleaned the house.

3. Stuck inside during a hurricane? Thank Dios tus primos are here.

CREDIT: @vickbezerra / Instagram

If not, you’d be forced to help apply Vaporub to your abuelo’s wrists, ears, and ankles, for whatever reason. Instead, you get to team up to get a rise out of your youngest primo who hates the game of Life and always will.

4. The actual game of Life gets more fun as you get older.

CREDIT: @JamxSirius_ASR / Twitter

We went from making potions out of Listerine and toothpaste and maple syrup and leaving it in our parents’ mouthwash to sneaking tequila in the bottle of orange juice and sneaking out.

5. As adults, you go home for the primos.

They’re the generation that has the common sense not to wear MAGA hats and betray our Latinidad. Maybe I’m projecting, but this is the generation we’ll have till death do us part.

6. They told us Santa wasn’t real.

CREDIT: @CorkinsCaleb / Twitter

If you were the oldest sibling in your family branch, then your prima was the one who told you that the reason Santa wants sugar free cookies and Diet Coke is because Santa is The Moms. 🙄

It’s cruel, but we’re glad it was a prima and not some pedestrian friend.

7. They also muscled through Communion and Confirmation with us.

CREDIT: @DiocesisVitoria / Twitter

Being forced to take CCD classes and profess your faith, whether you had la fe or nah, was so much more fun with a sacrilegious cousin or two to join you. At one point, my prima told me that she “can’t wait until I grow out of this [God-believing] phase.” 😂

8. The group text is always entertaining. See this “Marry, Fuck, Kill” con mis primos:

CREDIT: Courtesy Danielli Marzouca

You marry the bread-winner and wine-maker. Duhhh.

You also make sure your moms never ever see your texts because you’re still high key afraid of them even though we’re grown. My mom has no idea where to find my content and never will.

9. Really, you know you’re close because your Moms are obsessed with each other.

CREDIT: Janet Marzouca / Facebook

It feels good to be able to talk to someone about how The Moms know that they were married in a past life in Italy and one of them died by a bomb and that they’re soulmates. 😅

Yeah, we’re all close. We’re Latinos.

10. You’ve been playing the Mannequin Challenge since you were un jóven.

CREDIT: Untitled. Digital Image. Jonathan Lack. 23 July 2018.

While The Moms were shopping and bonding, and we were exploding with the rage of boredom. We pretended we were mannequins in department stores and running from the insides of clothes racks to clothes racks playing made up games.

I guess they helped with our imagination.

11. Because they know us so well, our primos know how to push our buttons like nadie.

CREDIT: @paraiso_del_meme / Instagram

You’re just chillin’, minding your own business, being a Diet Coke like your Mamma raised you, and your primo can make you explode with emotion with a simple, “You’re the whitest cousin.”

12. The family dynamic did not include the uncles who married in.

CREDIT: @iamcardib / Instagram

It doesn’t matter what our dads said. The Moms were in charge and we knew exactly who to tattle to. Just like a Young Cardi B. 🤣

13. They will vouch for the chancla abuse your mom conveniently forgot.

CREDIT: @bronxstrong / Twitter

“OH, no te recuerdes that time you shoved me into a garbage can?! Cecily does.”

Make sure there are no chanclas around to rebuff your claim.

14. They told you what TV shows and artists were cool.

CREDIT: @-_nicholasfung / Twitter

While I was in the land of Motown and Celia Cruz, my primos told me I should be listening to Menudo and watching Hey, Arnold, not The Days of Our Lives.

Thank you a million.

15. Tus primas taught you how to look your own age.

CREDIT: @itscamilasbaby1 / Twitter

Because up until then, you were wearing bedazzled denim caps and newsboy caps with gold shimmer lipstick. 😑 Thanks for teaching us that cat-eye, Camila. Adopt me as your cousin?

16. You were never alone growing up.

CREDIT: @arqgabyibarra / Instagram

Whether you wanted to be or not, and you’ll never be alone in your life again. There will always be a new cousin, or an old cousin, to ignite your fire for life.

Even better.

17. And believe in a God only because life would be worthless without your primos.

CREDIT: Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

My and my cousin, Cecily, would tell each other that we weren’t just soulmates, we were the other half of each other’s souls. We were attached at the hip and beyond obsessed with each other, and childhood would have been just a montage of chanclas and child labor without each other. Te quiero, prima.

18. And as adults, you have your own Banned Book Club.

Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

Of course, the oldest cousin is the organizer. We start with authors we were banned from reading as kids because eso es el anticristo. Then, all 47 of us hop on a call together! #adulting

19. Your Latino gang has strength in numbers.

CREDIT: @riss_xoxo_ / Twitter

Please listen to “I Like It” by Cardi B immediately if you aren’t picking up that reference. Whether you’re the Puerto Rican or Cuban cousins, you have a whole squad who will go to bat for you, even against The Moms.

20. So go find your favorite primos and thank them for their service.

CREDIT: @laystateno / Instagram

You wouldn’t be who you are today without them, and wouldn’t want to be anything or anyone else. If you’re too choked up and at a loss for words, just share this page, we won’t stop you. 😉

Te quiero, mis primos!


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

Share this story with all of your friends by tapping that little share button below!

My Latino Family’s Favorite Thanksgiving Tradition Is, Of Course, Asking Me “¿Y Tu Novio?”

Culture

My Latino Family’s Favorite Thanksgiving Tradition Is, Of Course, Asking Me “¿Y Tu Novio?”

The Show James Corden / Youtube.com

When it comes to Thanksgiving, there’s a few traditions I always uphold, but I know I’m not the only one…

I plan my outfit days in advance which means…

Arriving in stretchy pants.

Ivy Park

The better to eat with! My mom calls me a fodonga, but, whatever, because…

Stretchy pants mean room for seconds and thirds!

Selena / Warner Bros.

You thought this was a game??

Along with plates of delicious food, my tías bring a heaping side of chisme. So you can find me snacking on that in the kitchen.

Frida / Miramax Films / Giphy.com

That plus all the draaaaanks will temporarily console my rage.

But I’ll dodge them as soon as they hit me with THE question.

You know which question I’m talking about.

And when I remind my tías that I am, indeed, still single, they come back with the inquisition: “y tu amigo en tu Fayboo?” or “why don’t you get back with Esteban?” Because he’s an asshole, Tía Rosa.

And you better believe I’ll be getting sized up by the Weight Watchers committee.

me.me.com

Fortunately I’m geared up for the “Oh hiiii, flaca” or “Oh hiiii, gordita.” That’s it. No in between.

And when I tell the fam I’m going out with friends after dinner, I’ll be serving this look.

Credit: Parks & Recs / NBC

My parents always tell me to be home by midnight, even though I’m an adult, pay taxes and haven’t lived at home for years. And once I’m about to leave…

Here comes the guilt trip. I end up loving up on that coquito, tequila and everything else that is at home that I inevitably stay in.

Nothing Like The Holidays / Overture Films

“I just miss you so much, mijita. But it’s okay if you’d rather be with your friends.” :puts purse down: You win, mom.

It’s okay though, because la familia knows how to party.

Partying Celia Cruz GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
Credit: Sony Discos / Giphy

The Celia Cruz comes on and everyone is getting down, including my 80-year-old abuela! It’s seriously the best!

13 Thanksgiving Side Dishes to Bring That Will Showcase Your Latinidad

Culture

13 Thanksgiving Side Dishes to Bring That Will Showcase Your Latinidad

This year don’t bring some basic bland food to Thanksgiving. Bring something that will surprise your jefitos, impress your primos, nourish your vegan/vegetarian friends, and showcase your Latinidad. Forget boring mashed potatoes, over-salted, cream-sauced vegetables, store-bought pie, or being afraid of vegan/vegetarian dishes.

You’re an adult now, this is your chance to show your love through home-made food like your family has done all these years.

1. Tamales de Green Chile y Queso

Pinterest

There’s nothing more festive than tamales over the holidays, and you don’t have to wait until Christmas. Prepare a dozen or so of these for yourself and anyone else who’d rather fill up on hearty Mexican food than dry turkey. This recipe is vegetarian if you make your own masa as instructed, but if you don’t care if they are fully vegetarian, or you just don’t have much time, you could buy prepared masa con manteca from any Latin American food market. Some of us never make our own masa!

2. Brussels Sprouts with Mexican Chorizo

Pinterest

If you want to bring something a bit more traditional, or you’ve been asked to bring a vegetable side dish, try these Brussels sprouts. Don’t be afraid that people don’t like Brussels sprouts, cooked this way in the fat from the cooked chorizo, they are sure to impress. The red Mexican chorizo will turn the light part parts of the sprouts red, resulting in a festive, and Mexican flag-colored, green and reddish.

3. Sqirl’s Brussels Sprouts

http://blogs.kcrw.com/goodfood/2013/11/thanksgiving-side-recipe-sqirls-brussels-sprouts/

Or maybe you’d rather put chicharron powder on your Brussels. Cooked in butter, sherry vinegar, and fleur de sal. Sqirl LA’s food is so good people from all over the country, often come straight from the airport to eat there. It happens so often that the restaurant will happily store your luggage in their stock room. Bring this Latin-flavored recipe to Thanksgiving and show your friends what all the fuss is about.

4.  Tropical Chipotle Cranberry Sauce

Pinterest

Many think that this Thanksgiving staple shouldn’t be messed with, but I can assure you that American Indians and English settlers didn’t eat cranberry sauce out of the can. That said, why not try something different and add some chipotle and pineapple to some fresh cranberries for sweet, sour, and spicy version.

5. Apple Chorizo Cornbread Stuffing

Pinterest

Thanks to all the Latino’s in the US, chorizo is making a strong showing in Thanksgiving dishes. If you’ve been asked to bring stuffing not cooked in the bird, make this savory cornbread chorizo stuffing. This recipe also calls for cumin, oregano, and cilantro to help round out the Latin flavors.

6. Abuelo’s Papas Con Chile or Mexican Mashed Potatoes

Pinterest

These mashed potatoes use Velveeta, but people all over the internet swear by this recipe. If you were asked to bring the papas try this dish. Tell us how it went.

7. Empanadas de Camote

Twitter

This recipe combines sweet potato, bacon, and queso fresco. Hearty and filled filled with protein and iron, these empanadas are a lighter alternative to bringing masa heavy tamales. With pretty folded edges, these empanadas will look pretty on any Thanksgiving table.

8. Pan Amasado or Chilean Bread Rolls

Twitter

So you’ve been asked to bring some rolls, but you don’t want to just go to Safeway and grab whatever they have, why not make Pan Amasado? The recipe, only calls for nine every-day ingredients, including shortening, egg, and butter. Sabroso!

9. Blistered Peppers with Lime

Twitter

Blistered Padrón or shishito peppers topped with spicy sea salt are common now on menus in upscale restaurants all around the country. They are super easy to make too. Bring this to Thanksgiving at your adventurous family/friend eaters, as in the same batch, one pepper can be quite mild and the next one quite hot.

10. Puerto Rican Mofongo

Pinterest

If you’re looking to bring a taste of the island to Thanksgiving make this traditional style mofongo. Made of plantains, garlic, and pork rinds, this dish is an adaptation of a West African slave dish by Taino Indians made with ingredients available on the island. A similar dish is made by Dominicans.

11. Vegan Potato Adobo Tamales

Twitter

If you’re a vegan attending a non-vegan Thanksgiving, make yourself these hearty tamales. This recipe will show you how to make both the vegan masa (made with coconut oil instead of lard) and the adobo potato filling. The recipe also calls for garlic, oregano, clove, cinnamon, and cumin. Tamales without masa are lower in calories and saturated fat.

12. Vegan Chile Rellenos

Pinterest

Okay, so many of the vegan recipes here are from the same person, Dora of Dora’s Table. This mujer, Dora, who was born and raised in México and to culinary school in New York, works extra hard to create vegan versions of traditional Mexican dishes, using traditional Mexican ingredients. Her Vegan Chile Rellenos use poblano chiles and vegan cheese. On her website, Dora warns that this recipe isn’t what she’d call healthy.

13. Empanadas de Argentina

Pinterest

If you’re looking to bring the taste of South America to Thanksgiving dinner, make these Argentinian Tamales. They are made with ground beef, bell pepper, and Latin-flavor spices. You’ll save time on the dough too because it’s made with store-bought puff pastry flour.