relationships

Here’s All The Proof You Need To Prove That Your Primos Make The Holidays Worth Celebrating

For all the time we spend talking to our therapists about la chancla and our fear of facing the wrath of maintaining an impossibly clean house during the holidays, we spend 0 percent of our time talking about los primos. That’s because they save the holidays. They help you love every aspect of your weird childhood and feel honored af to be a member of the coolest generation.

They’ve been there for all the mom-ragers, poolside grilled cheeses, and hurricane parties, and not a single family gathering would be tolerable without them. If you have primos, then you already know.

1. Your primos are effectively tus hermanos.

@paocelis / Twitter

You were co-parented by your mom and tía (formally known as The Moms), and you all learned to swim, blow bubbles in the pool, and sneak out of the house together. This Latino gang goes way back.

2. No pool party was complete without them.

@Sebacarianco / Twitter

Why? Because you needed their collective begging to convince The Moms that we were going to be the most annoying children in the world unless they let us in the pool, even though they just cleaned the house.

3. Stuck inside during a hurricane? Thank Dios tus primos are here.

@vickbezerra / Instagram

If not, you’d be forced to help apply Vaporub to your abuelo’s wrists, ears, and ankles, for whatever reason. Instead, you get to team up to get a rise out of your youngest primo who hates the game of Life and always will.

4. The actual game of Life gets more fun as you get older.

@JamxSirius_ASR / Twitter

We went from making potions out of Listerine and toothpaste and maple syrup and leaving it in our parents’ mouthwash to sneaking tequila in the bottle of orange juice and sneaking out.

5. As adults, you go home for the primos.

They’re the generation that has the common sense not to wear MAGA hats and betray our Latinidad. Maybe I’m projecting, but this is the generation we’ll have till death do us part.

6. They told us Santa wasn’t real.

@CorkinsCaleb / Twitter

If you were the oldest sibling in your family branch, then your prima was the one who told you that the reason Santa wants sugar free cookies and Diet Coke is because Santa is The Moms. ????

It’s cruel, but we’re glad it was a prima and not some pedestrian friend.

7. They also muscled through Communion and Confirmation with us.

@DiocesisVitoria / Twitter

Being forced to take CCD classes and profess your faith, whether you had la fe or nah, was so much more fun with a sacrilegious cousin or two to join you. At one point, my prima told me that she “can’t wait until I grow out of this [God-believing] phase.” ????

8. The group text is always entertaining. See this “Marry, Fuck, Kill” con mis primos:

Courtesy Danielli Marzouca

You marry the bread-winner and wine-maker. Duhhh.

You also make sure your moms never ever see your texts because you’re still high key afraid of them even though we’re grown. My mom has no idea where to find my content and never will.

9. Really, you know you’re close because your Moms are obsessed with each other.

Janet Marzouca / Facebook

It feels good to be able to talk to someone about how The Moms know that they were married in a past life in Italy and one of them died by a bomb and that they’re soulmates. ????

Yeah, we’re all close. We’re Latinos.

10. You’ve been playing the Mannequin Challenge since you were un jóven.

Untitled. Digital Image. Jonathan Lack. 23 July 2018.

While The Moms were shopping and bonding, and we were exploding with the rage of boredom. We pretended we were mannequins in department stores and running from the insides of clothes racks to clothes racks playing made up games.

I guess they helped with our imagination.

11. Because they know us so well, our primos know how to push our buttons like nadie.

@paraiso_del_meme / Instagram

You’re just chillin’, minding your own business, being a Diet Coke like your Mamma raised you, and your primo can make you explode with emotion with a simple, “You’re the whitest cousin.”

12. The family dynamic did not include the uncles who married in.

@iamcardib / Instagram

It doesn’t matter what our dads said. The Moms were in charge and we knew exactly who to tattle to. Just like a Young Cardi B. ????

13. They will vouch for the chancla abuse your mom conveniently forgot.

@bronxstrong / Twitter

“OH, no te recuerdes that time you shoved me into a garbage can?! Cecily does.”

Make sure there are no chanclas around to rebuff your claim.

14. They told you what TV shows and artists were cool.

@-_nicholasfung / Twitter

While I was in the land of Motown and Celia Cruz, my primos told me I should be listening to Menudo and watching Hey, Arnold, not The Days of Our Lives.

Thank you a million.

15. Tus primas taught you how to look your own age.

@itscamilasbaby1 / Twitter

Because up until then, you were wearing bedazzled denim caps and newsboy caps with gold shimmer lipstick. ???? Thanks for teaching us that cat-eye, Camila. Adopt me as your cousin?

16. You were never alone growing up.

@arqgabyibarra / Instagram

Whether you wanted to be or not, and you’ll never be alone in your life again. There will always be a new cousin, or an old cousin, to ignite your fire for life.

Even better.

17. And believe in a God only because life would be worthless without your primos.

Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

My and my cousin, Cecily, would tell each other that we weren’t just soulmates, we were the other half of each other’s souls. We were attached at the hip and beyond obsessed with each other, and childhood would have been just a montage of chanclas and child labor without each other. Te quiero, prima.

18. And as adults, you have your own Banned Book Club.

Courtesy of Danielli Marzouca

Of course, the oldest cousin is the organizer. We start with authors we were banned from reading as kids because eso es el anticristo. Then, all 47 of us hop on a call together! #adulting

19. Your Latino gang has strength in numbers.

@riss_xoxo_ / Twitter

Please listen to “I Like It” by Cardi B immediately if you aren’t picking up that reference. Whether you’re the Puerto Rican or Cuban cousins, you have a whole squad who will go to bat for you, even against The Moms.

20. So go find your favorite primos and thank them for their service.

@laystateno / Instagram

You wouldn’t be who you are today without them, and wouldn’t want to be anything or anyone else. If you’re too choked up and at a loss for words, just share this page, we won’t stop you. ????

Te quiero, mis primos!


READ: Reasons Why You Refuse To Go To A Family Party If Your Primos Are Not There

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Show Mom How Much You Love Her With These Sweet Mother’s Day Gifts

Culture

Show Mom How Much You Love Her With These Sweet Mother’s Day Gifts

Mother’s Day is just one of the days in the year when we show our mom how much we love her. She gave us life and isn’t shy about reminding us. Why not make this day a little special with a nice gift? Here’s a little guide to get you started. Use code momdaywam2021 for a discount on all of your mom merch!

Love You Mom Mug | $14.99 – $17.99

mitú

There was nothing more dreadful than not being able to find something. You just knew that when you asked your mom for help that it came with a lot of strings attached. The mere idea of mom searching and finding it sent us into a wild frenzy trying to find it before she got to the room.

This mug is the perfect reminder of those mildly scary moments of missing remotes and socks. Now, as an adult, you can all look back and laugh because it isn’t that scary anymore, right? 😨

Nadie Me Ayuda En Esta Casa | $24.99

mitú

You can’t forget this absolute classic. This shirt is one of the most relatable gifts you can give your mother. She is always doing everything for everyone and no one wants to help. This shirt will show that you acknowledge that you don’t do enough and appreciate just how hard she works.

Now, this doesn’t mean you can stay not helping. Let this be the start of you changing some of your own practices and helping your mom around the house. it is never too late.

Mom, Ma, Ama, Madre, Mujer Mug | $19.99

mitú

A nice little mug with mom in all the ways we say it is just a nice addition to your mom’s coffee mug collection. It will definitely bring a smile to her face every time she sees it because it just shows how much you are thinking of her.

Pregúntale A Tu Papá Tee | $24.99 – $26.99

mitú

How many times have you heard your mom say this? It is never when you need to find something because dad never knows where to find stuff. That is just a cold hard fact about life in a Latino household. This was always posed to you when you asked mom to go to a sleepover or anything that required approval.

This will not only make your mom laugh, but dad will chuckle as well. After all, he knows that his word is only as good as his vieja will let it be. Lol.

Best Amá Ever Mug | $14.99 – $17.99

mitú

Let your mom brag all the time, any time. This mug is perfect for her to take to work so that everyone in her office sees that she is, indeed, the best amá ever. I’m sure that people will think that their mom is the best but you know that your mom is the best. This will soon be the ultimate status symbol.

Quiero Nietos Unisex Tee | $24.99 – $27.99

mitú

We all know that mom (and dad) can’t wait to have nietos to spoil endlessly. This shirt will give them a physical way to constantly remind you that they can’t wait for those little ones. You might regret giving her a shirt that she can wear every time you go to visit her but she will love it. Maybe it is just a quick laugh but we all know that she will wear it to manifest her nietos.

Esta Casa No Es Hotel Poster | $16.99 – $19.99

mitú

Help your mom decorate the house with her own sense of humor. The poster will give your mom a reference to point to when people ask her for too much. Like, learn the house. Find your own towels. Get your own juice. Room service and hotel-level work is not happening in this house. You got legs, arms, and claim to be a grown up.

Happy anniversary to all of the mothers, abuelas, tías, and mother figures in the world.

READ: Vanessa Bryant Celebrates Like A Proud Mom As Daughter Natalia Announces She’s Going To USC

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Users On Reddit Are Sharing Their Wild Experiences With Sperm Donation

Fierce

Users On Reddit Are Sharing Their Wild Experiences With Sperm Donation

With sperm donations, families of all sorts have access to planning and creating a family. According to the US National Library of Medicine
National Institutes of Health in 2015–2017, 440,986 families were estimated to have used sperm donation to start families.
Of course, while a benefit the circumstances of sperm donations can often spurn questions and odd scenarios.

Users on Reddit are speaking about their own sperm donation stories and the answers are pretty surprising.

Check them out below!

“So, I’m not the dad, but a kid. So my bio-dad donated sperm and gave permission to be identified. Didn’t even have to be after 18. In counting (because we’re not sure if we’ve found all of us yet) there are 53 half-siblings, all his kids. My full sister and I didn’t know we were donor babies until I was a freshman in college, and her a junior in high school. It was a few more years before we found out the scope of our family. As such, I never got to meet the man as he passed away in 2018, but I’ve been getting to know my half siblings and I’m sad to have missed him. He apparently engaged in annual reunions and was interested in getting to know all of the kids if they (and their families) were open to it. We all support each other basically by default even though we didn’t grow up together. What’s even wilder about him is that he got national news coverage for something besides his giant flock of kids. The guy got married to a woman the day he met her as a competition to be his bride in the Mall of America. It was apparently a heartfelt story and the two of them had a 20 something year marriage with 4 kids that they raised themselves. The Mall of America even has a plaque with his name on it now, so you can go find him if you really try. The man was a weirdo, but in the best way. He was kind and generous with his time and really seemed to care about *all* of his kids, or at least the ones he knew about.”-SilverRock75

“Oh hey, I can answer this! I’m not a donor, but I was donor conceived, along with my sister (same donor). I had a great dad and never had any desire to find out who my donor was, but I was always curious about siblings, especially when I learned there’s no legal limit on how many children you can father when you donate sperm in the US.

Well, one 23andMe test later, and the first result on the top of the list is a half sister in Texas. We get in contact, realize we have a TON in common, and it sparked a fire in her to find more siblings. She took an Ancestry DNA test and the top of that list was a man in California, listed as father.

She got in touch with him right away, turns out he’s a fantastic guy. He was adopted himself and also got in contact with his birth mom as an adult, so he had been on our side of the situation and was very open and willing to talk. His wife has been super supportive of us meeting too. He has three, uh, organically made kids of his own (I was especially ecstatic to learn that I’m a big sister), plus we’ve since found three more half siblings who’ve all been very cool and excited to find each other. At this point, I’ve met all but one of them in person, and I got to meet my biological grandmother too.” – racecarart

“A guy I know in his 70s got a call from a guy in his 50s saying ‘hey, I’m your son, oh and I just learned I have a genetic disease so your other kids should probably get tested’”- daxelkurtz

“Totally not an answer but my gf and I were just wondering about whether there were any protocols for how much of one donor’s sperm is allowed to be distributed within a given area.

Like, what could prevent 2 moms from having the donor’s offspring in the same area and having those kids grow up and meet as teens/adults, start a relationship and realize they’re related?”- MightyMaus1

“Some clinics will put a cap on number of families, but there are manh cases of people have dozens, even up to 40, 80, 100 half siblings. It brings up the ethics around this, and many donor conceived people are vehemently against this and believe there needs to be a limit in place.”- TheTinyOne23

“I donated for six months in university. Twice a week. I gave consent to be contacted. That was close to 20 years ago now.

I did call and ask once, my sperm resulted in 24 successful pregnancies. That was all the office could tell me.

I have not done 23andme or anything like that.”- ciroryder

“That’s quite crazy. You have 24 children as far as the spiralling coil DNA goes. They’ve all got half or full siblings they don’t know about (well, the full ones will surely know). That’s really crazy. In 1000 years, you might be the Ghengis Khan where your dna is traced to like 1 in 3 people on mars or something. The dna analysis will just show you, not the fact that your a donor.”- The_Queef_of_England

“My aunts had to get a donor for both children, and he happened to live in the same neighborhood (can’t remember if that was a coincidence or not). But he is a close family friend now! He comes over for their birthdays and other family events. They don’t refer to him as their dad really, only as a joke, but he is very close with our family.”-anniecakes22

“I was donor-conceived. I took a DNA test, his natural-born daughter took a DNA test. So really neither of us ‘gave permission’. There are 28 siblings so far. It was quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t know. I was 38.

I’ve met the donor and most of the half siblings. He’s a cool guy. I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings. I know there is a wide range of emotions for people who experience this sort of thing, but for me it was generally positive.”-mynuname

“It is incredible how the similarities are passed down. My father-in-law had a daughter that was the result of a one-night stand and was adopted by a wonderful family. The adoption agency had a registration of birth parents and kids, who could each (blind to the other) give permission to be contacted, and only if both parties did, they’d put them in contact. So this happens in her early 20’s, and they make arrangements for her to fly to meet her birth family, including my wife and her brother (her half-siblings). My wife goes to pick her up at the airport since the parents live out of town. There were no arrangements, no pictures, nothing (this was pre-Facebook) – my wife saw her come out the doors, knew without question it was her, and she knew the same, they had a huge tearful hug without even any words. They just knew, by looks, by mannerisms, whatever.

The incredible thing is, I’ve shown pictures of the half-sister, with or without her birthfather and half-sister, and everyone agrees she doesn’t actually look much like them. But there’s something about the looks and how they act that is so similar between all of them, it really is incredible.

Edit – one more detail. We found out years later that the father and daughter contacted the agency to open themselves up to contact…within 24 hours of each other. A complete coincidence. The agency actually didn’t do it for a couple weeks because they were trying to contact the daughter’s adoptive parents (who had passed away, hence the delay) because they just assumed there had been contact since they were in touch so impossibly close together.”- mrdannyg21

“My step-mom was an early donation conceived baby. She’s done 23&Me and Ancestry. Last I heard she was up to 23 (!!) half-siblings. Their donor father died in the late 1980s and seems to have been a good man.”-MyMelancholyBaby

“My younger bro donated multiple times unbeknownst to me. Years later my wife and I did Ancestry.com to get an idea of how diverse our backgrounds were and wham! Started getting contacted by lots of people (over a dozen) saying we were close relatives. At first I was confused and asked the early ones about their parentage – they all had a similar stories. Single mom went to a sperm bank. Didn’t take long to guess what happened. Call my brothers and asked. Younger one fessed up and said yes – he went multiple times. In fact they told him he had to stop donating because there was a statistical probability his progeny could meet and date (at least they seemed ethical). I asked if it was okay if I gave them his contact – he was fine with it. The weird thing is that they all had his face – like one look at them and it was obvious who their father was. Anyway, this went on for a couple of years and they all connected with each other. Seems there is over 20 now, probably more. He has met a couple of them but it was all casual. The whole thing is super weird to the rest of family to have all these “close” relatives who somehow are part of the family but then again not really.”- ezagreb

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