relationships

The Latino Parent Sex Talk: Don’t Have Sex

For the most part, Latino parents still believe terror, guilt and avoidance are the best contraceptives. Instead of having real, useful — and yes, often uncomfortable — sex talks, our parents have chosen to use one liners as their sex-ed manual. We regret to report most of it has failed miserably.

La intimidad es para el matrimonio.

tumblr_msk84nrCV31r5xpw1o1_500
CREDIT: THEPROBLEMWITHDATING/ NEW GIRL/ FOX

If you remain single you’re pretty much f*cked. (No, no pun intended.)

Sex is disgusting y el diablo es puerco.

tumblr_n2c5l8JcbN1sdtdjto1_500
CREDIT: selenaamgomez / Tumblr

Yeah, we all know the devil created the greatest pleasures. ?

You don’t want everyone saying you’re fácil.

giphy (1)
CREDIT: VH1 / Giphy

Which is why I don’t tell anyone.

READ: Expectations Guys Have of Their Latina GFs

Dios no aprueba eso.

tumblr_inline_mlvbkyOU0y1qz4rgp
CREDIT: TOY STORY/Disney / whatshouldtheatrecallme / Tumblr

Added to the long list of things He doesn’t approve.

You’ll end up pregnant. Or dead.

hidxo5t6ot
CREDIT: ifunny.com

Then I must be infertile.

Si tienes sexo, you’ll ruin the rest of your life.

prettywomangif
CREDIT: GURL.COM/ PRETTY WOMAN/ BUENA VISTA PICTURES

We know what you mean. Flash news: Condoms exist.

Vas a deshonrar a la familia.

tumblr_o1d9b8qROg1rnt22go1_500
CREDIT: aulty / Tumblr

I wasn’t planing on inviting any of you.

READ: 9 Explanations to Why Latinas are Forever Alone

If you have sex, tu papá will die.

giphy
CREDIT: GIPHY/ FAMILY GUY/ 20TH CENTURY FOX

I saw him this morning, he’s looked alive and well.

Virginity es el regalo más preciado you can give your future husband.

tumblr_n6numgmVjR1rmvfheo1_500
CREDIT: Bridesmaids / Universal Studios / Katsgiflibrary / Tumblr

Damn I wasted ALL this time building a strong character, a high work ethic, sense of faithfulness and independence for NOTHING?

Anita got pregnant, menos mal que tu, mija, eres virgen.

tumblr_mcmckz961k1ro2d43
CREDIT: FRIENDS/ NBC

It’s kinda cute how moms can be so naive.

We don’t talk about those things in this house.

drevillaugh
CREDIT: SEXUALFUTURIST.COM/ AUSTIN POWERS/ NEW LINE CINEMA

Of course we don’t. Anita’s family didn’t either.

Share if this is how the sex talk went at home. 

The Latino Parent Sex Talk: Don’t Have Sex

relationships

The Latino Parent Sex Talk: Don’t Have Sex

For the most part, Latino parents still believe terror, guilt and avoidance are the best contraceptives. Instead of having real, useful — and yes, often uncomfortable — sex talks, our parents have chosen to use one liners as their sex-ed manual. We regret to report most of it has failed miserably.

La intimidad es para el matrimonio.

tumblr_msk84nrCV31r5xpw1o1_500
CREDIT: THEPROBLEMWITHDATING/ NEW GIRL/ FOX

If you remain single you’re pretty much f*cked. (No, no pun intended.)

Sex is disgusting y el diablo es puerco.

tumblr_n2c5l8JcbN1sdtdjto1_500
CREDIT: selenaamgomez / Tumblr

Yeah, we all know the devil created the greatest pleasures. ?

You don’t want everyone saying you’re fácil.

giphy (1)
CREDIT: VH1 / Giphy

Which is why I don’t tell anyone.

Dios no aprueba eso.

tumblr_inline_mlvbkyOU0y1qz4rgp
CREDIT: TOY STORY/Disney / whatshouldtheatrecallme / Tumblr

Added to the long list of things He doesn’t approve.

You’ll end up pregnant. Or dead.

hidxo5t6ot
CREDIT: ifunny.com

Then I must be infertile.

Si tienes sexo, you’ll ruin the rest of your life.

prettywomangif
CREDIT: GURL.COM/ PRETTY WOMAN/ BUENA VISTA PICTURES

We know what you mean. Flash news: Condoms exist.

Vas a deshonrar a la familia.

tumblr_o1d9b8qROg1rnt22go1_500
CREDIT: aulty / Tumblr

I wasn’t planing on inviting any of you.

If you have sex, tu papá will die.

giphy
CREDIT: GIPHY/ FAMILY GUY/ 20TH CENTURY FOX

I saw him this morning, he’s looked alive and well.

Virginity es el regalo más preciado you can give your future husband.

tumblr_n6numgmVjR1rmvfheo1_500
CREDIT: Bridesmaids / Universal Studios / Katsgiflibrary / Tumblr

Damn I wasted ALL this time building a strong character, a high work ethic, sense of faithfulness and independence for NOTHING?

Anita got pregnant, menos mal que tu, mija, eres virgen.

tumblr_mcmckz961k1ro2d43
CREDIT: FRIENDS/ NBC

It’s kinda cute how moms can be so naive.

We don’t talk about those things in this house.

drevillaugh
CREDIT: SEXUALFUTURIST.COM/ AUSTIN POWERS/ NEW LINE CINEMA

Of course we don’t. Anita’s family didn’t either.

Share if this is how the sex talk went at home. 

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