If you ask your friends how they met their boyfriend or girlfriend, chances are at least one person in your group is going to say they swiped their way to a relationship. Some people have been lucky in finding their true match on apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Grindr and the other hundreds of dating apps out there. They literally found love while waiting for their latest coffee orders. Meanwhile, others are finding frustration in the seemingly endless options of personality profiles and people that are staring back at you on your phone. But, what effect are dating apps having on our dating patterns?
“It really becomes an ego-feeding thing, rather than going out there, sitting with someone, and really just starting to get honest and vulnerable,” Duran told Business Insider.
People on dating apps are aware that their date might be talking and swiping on other options as well, making it a labyrinth of potential ‘competition’ and time until the potential exclusive talk is had.
While dating apps might be making it harder to find another person who is willing to get into a long-term, committed relationship, the apps are allowing Latinos to become more confident in their dating lives.
Chris, 29, says dating apps allow him to meet guys who wouldn’t otherwise have time to meet in his everyday life.
“I use [dating apps]. I use them to meet guys in hopes it leads to dates since I don’t make time to be social,” Chris said. “[I’d] rather stay in after a long, hard week. Of course, I also use them when I have the urge and need to get it on.”
Some Latinas feel dating apps are giving them an extra confidence boost to be their most authentic self during a conversation and eventual dates.
Byanca, 29, says the apps help her make connections in a confident way.
“For me I use dating apps as an easier way to connect,” Byanca explains. “I’m not really meeting guys in person because we all know I can be shy and have a resting b*tch face. Using the app kind of makes me a little more brave.”
Dating apps might make it harder to find a serious relationship in just a few swipes, but at least they can make you a more social and confident dater as you chat, wine and dine on your way to find ‘the one.’
When it comes to getting married, just about everyone has opinions and advice. Of course, while input on dos and don’ts of considering marriage can be overwhelming, they’re also so important to listen. Recently, we came across a Tweet by Twitter user @cxkenobxkery who posted a thread called “Don’t get married before…” We reposted the question and asked our FIERCE readers what advice they had for other Latinas who were considering marriage and the answers were pretty eye-opening.
So here goes, if you’re thinking about getting married consider pumping the breaks unless you’ve…
Worked out your parenting styles
Too strict? Too soft? Balance and teamwork is crucial. It comes down to what kid of little humans do you BOTH want to raise.” – ramfamfour
Discussed mental health stuff
“ANY mental health issues. My ex husband was not verbally or physically abusive, but his mental health issues were at the core of our marriages demise. I would also add to pay attention to how compatible you are when the ‘feeling’ of being in love isn’t tinting your glasses. He hated new foods and I loved to cook. He didn’t understand hyperbole, sarcasm, analogy, humor, etc. And those are all native to me. Otherwise, this is a great list.” – dinneronmylap
Learned how you plan to grow together
“I think asking how a person plans to continuously seek knowledge during their lifetime is important.” – lachullavida
Have underlined your boundaries
“Speak about the boundaries you plan on having with your families as you create one of your own. TRUST ME, you don’t want a spouse who doesn’t know or understand how important this is. Nobody wants their in laws overstepping. If their parents or yours are doing this now, it will only get worse once you are married and it will create so much drama. People have divorced over this.” – taialvarez
Talked about credit scores
“And CREDIT SCORE, family health history, twins?”- liani9
Seen them when they’re angry
“Other tips: See how this person reacts when angry, see how this person treats strangers, see how this person faces a difficult dilemma. This will tell you a lot about a person.” –mariar09_
Have self-appreciation on both sides
“Don’t get married before you truly know, love and have appreciation for yourself.”- moni.gram
Know their family
“You absolutely need to know about family, how they were raised and around who… she’s wrong on that one.”- your_phoenix_
Have the age experience
“Don’t even THINK about it until you’re in your 30s.” – arlee_la
“Parenting / disciplining! Questions about in laws expectations. Alone time vs quality time – are you someone who needs a lot of time away or close to your partner? How fairly do you fight? How did your parents fight growing up? How do you negotiate with one another?” – melmor
Lived on your own
“The best thing I did for myself: Live away from family. I had a whole year to live with roommates and I learned so mhch about myself. If at all possible, consider doing this!!!” – dj_enamoured
Asked how their prior relationship ended
“Always ask how the prior relationship ended, been almost marry for 5 years and I never asked and I found out that he got 7 women pregnant and all of them got an abortion, also ask about mental health issues with the family I never did and found out his mother was bipolar without treatment now I know why he is the way he is cause he is bipolar… I thought things would changed but nothing has changed and don’t marry a men that has a lot of guy friends cause his priority are his friends… Yes I know don’t need to tell me to get divorce I m already working on it.” – suequte_yoginyc
Figured out how to spend time alone and apart
“Date/Outing expectations – is one a home-body vs outdoorsy? This made for some very uncomfortable situations for both if us in a prior relationship. Would lead to full on arguments. But if both aren’t comfortable with group dates or don’t consider a quiet dinner at home as romantic then someone is going to become resentful.” – rosanam1978
Been genetically tested
“On having children, it best to get a gene-carrier (gene disease testing) before marriage. It makes me so angry when hearing that married couple… MARRRIED, do it after marriage. What if both of them are carriers? Then having a kid with their gene disease is on its way, if they have 1 biological.” – officialdarlin
Falling in love with the right person and learning everything you can about her is easy and natural. But although you might think you know everything you can about your special lady, we bet that there are still questions that are left unanswered in your life. For one, do you know everything you can about her sexuality? Probably not. But don’t worry because learning about her in a more intimate setting is something that can help you two get closer and strengthen your relationship in the long run.
That’s where these 20 sexual questions come in. These sexy questions are all things that you can ask your girlfriend tonight, tomorrow and the next day. And they are all guaranteed to bring further intimacy and continue to build your bond. So, get to cuddling and share some details of your sexy past and even sexier future — and get ready to hear hers.
1. Have you ever skinny dipped?
This kind of question is sexy in and of itself because it forces you to talk about two things that are very alluring: Nakedness and being daring. It’s a question that can definitely create a lot more conversation and you can talk about where you’ve skinny dipped or, even better, where you want to skinny dip in the future, together.
2. Where would you love to have sex?
People can have a lot of different answers to this question, so it’s definitely one that you want to ask your girlfriend earlier on in the relationship or when you are feeling that things are getting a bit stale. It’s the kind of question that can lead to a lot of really interesting conversations, honestly. And plans. Don’t forget to make the plans.
3. What is the sexiest thing about women to you?
Women are sexy, period. And you probably already knew that since you find your girlfriend pretty darn sexy, too, but have you ever stopped to think what exactly makes her sexy to you? Ask this question of her and you both might end up surprising each other with what the conversation brings.
4. Do you like to be dominant or passive?
Every relationship is complicated and everyone’s sexual desires are complicated but you can really delve deep into your girlfriend’s desires by asking her this question. It might even spark a fuller conversation where you talk about your own preferences, too.
5. What’s the ultimate role play for you?
Role-playing is something that can take your relationship to the next level or get you out of a rut. It’s also something that can simply inspire some interesting conversations, which is why this is definitely a question that you should ask your sweetie. Maybe just wait until you’re in a really intimate moment first, though.
6. Who is your secret celebrity crush?
Talking about your celebrity crushes is a sure-fire way to invite some fun conversation and intimacy into your relationship. Of course, the key here is to ask your girlfriend about her secret crush. You know, there’s always somebody that she may name that is unexpected and will solicit more sexy questions.
7. Are you more rough or passionate?
Passion is an excelleny thing to have in a relationship but it’s definitely not the only thing. And when it comes to having sex, people tend to have a style. Some like it really rough and dirty while others like it passionate and sensual. Although neither is right or wrong, it’s good to know what your girlfriend prefers by asking her this question.
8. What kind of talk do you like, if any, in bed?
Some people like sexy talk. Some people do not. Some people like it super dirty. Some do not. You may not know exactly what your girlfriend prefers just yet because it can be an awkward subject to just bring up out of the blue, so why not ask her? This way, you’ll have something new and totally sexy to talk about in bed.
9. What’s the sexiest thing someone has done to you?
You can definitely make this a really interesting question if you ask what someone has done “to” her and “for” her. It will definitely mean two different responses, but I bet both of them will be surprising and interesting. Just don’t be afraid to share your own answer to this question, too.
10. What’s your favorite body type?
One way to talk about the things that you each find sexy is to talk about the type of bodies that you find most attractive. This can be an interesting thing to bring up but definitely make sure to only bring it up if you are comfortable in your body and relationship, since you don’t want to get jealous over what she says.
11. What’s your view on “50 shades”?
50 Shades of Grey is a book and movie franchise that changed the world or, at least, the way women behave sexually. All of a sudden, it became okay (and even encouraged!) to be kinky. But how much do you know about your girlfriend’s opinion on the books and the sexy topic? Now’s the time to ask!
12. Have you ever had sex more than once in a day?
No matter how good your sex life is, there is always room for improvement. When you are getting more intimate with your partner, you might want to know what their “record” is in terms of the most times they have ever had sex. And then, I suggest, you improve upon that number.
13. Where do you like being touched the most?
Some of us fully admit that our breasts are the most sensitive place while others love gentle little kisses behind the ears. And some of us still find something else so erotic that it makes sex even better. This is a great question to ask earlier in your relationship so that you can make sure to touch that part more and more.
14. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Sex in public is still a taboo subject but it’s one that we should be discussing more because, for some people, it’s the pinnacle of sexuality. Whether or not you are turned on by it, it’s something that you should think about and consider with your partner. That’s why you should find out if she’s ever done it in a public place.
15. What is your favorite sexual position?
Everyone has a favorite sex position and anyone who claims not to is clearly lying. This is definitely a daring question to ask your sweetie but it’s one that can lead to greater sexual satisfaction. If you know what they like (and know what you like), then you can do a lot more in the bedroom to bring pleasure to each other.
16. Have you ever been so horny that you couldn’t control yourself?
This is definitely a sexy picture and an even sexier image to have of your girlfriend, though you’ll probably want to make sure that you’re fairly secure in your relationship before bringing this one up. It’s also best to talk about this when you are having a particularly intimate moment, perhaps laying in bed at the end of the day.
17. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Who says that men are the only ones that get to enjoy strip clubs? Us ladies can love them too, and perhaps you’re even the kind of couple who has ventured out to one together. But even if you’re not, this is a fun topic to bring up with your special lady and hear about her experience.
18. Have you ever gotten with someone you weren’t allowed to?
One way to talk about taboo subjects in your relationship is to do it out in the open. That’s why you should definitely bring up whether your girlfriend has ever been with someone she wasn’t supposed to. Sure, it can lead to some interesting conversation… But it can also lead to some interesting revelations.
19. What kind of outfit would look best on me?
This is the kind of question that you’ll want to ask your girlfriend when you are feeling particularly comfortable with her. But, when it comes right down to it, it would be a good idea to know what your partner likes for you to wear… and visa versa. That way, you can both always look great for each other.
20. Have you ever tried tantric sex?
If you didn’t know this, tantric sex is about having a really intense, connected experience during sex (either by yourself or with a partner). It’s something really enjoyable that couples can enjoy together but, before you try that, you should definitely talk to your partner about whether or not she has tried it before… and what her experience was. And if not, perhaps it’s an experience you can have together.