relationships

Climb out of the Tinder basement: 19 ways to level up your game

If all your Tinder game has led to recently is a sprained swiping finger, it’s time to upgrade your profile to get the matches rolling. You don’t need a head-to-toe makeover straight out of the movies to seriously improve your desirability on the dating app. Instead, perfect your message and make sure your profile is saying what you want people to hear. With a few new profile pictures and a strong bio, prepare to spend a lot more time on dates with recent matches and a lot less time worrying about your number.

Your starter job headshot was awesome, but why are using it 10 years later?

Credit: Photograph of Bronislava Nijinska, graduation picture, 1908. Digital image. Wikimedia Commons. 13 December 2015.

Pictures are hard. Unless you are a selfie fan or a social butterfly, a good snapshot may only come around once a decade. However, using dated pictures is a major problem on Tinder. When the person in the photo doesn’t match your listed age or your appearance in extra pics, potential matches may view you as untrustworthy and swipe left.

Schedule a photoshoot with a friend for new pictures.

Credit: Photographic portrait of nature photographer Ansel Adams. 1950. Wikimedia Commons. 6 March 2018.

If you need new pictures go on an outing with a friend and take dozens of photos to review. Pick the best options that reflect a bit about your personality, such as an enthusiasm for fine dining, and use them on your profile.

Tinder isn’t jail, but you still need a mugshot.

Credit: Elvis Mugshot. 1970. Wikimedia Commons. 7 March 2016.

Whether your trying to get a date or a job, a good headshot is a must. When updating your photos, make sure one focuses primarily on your face. It doesn’t have to be full Orange Is the New Black but should stick to the upper third of your body. Potential matches want to see your face. Give it to them in the first picture.

Props are great, except in your Tinder profile pictures.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

A successful Tinder profile does require a bit of personality, and you definitely need to convey it anyway possible…except with too many props, such as shirts with a message, your car, a favorite gesture, a political button or pets. If someone misinterprets your meaning or takes a joke as a hard stance, you lose a match.

Assume that others will make assumptions.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Men and women are going to take in everything in your photos to determine your personality. If you give them too much data, there is too much to judge before a conversations start. Beyond mixed messages, you may also find the interior of the room is reviewed or the tidiness of your backdrop assessed. Make sure everything in your photo conveys the real you. 

Use all of the picture slots to increase matches.

Credit: Twitter @Tinder

If you were so excited to join Tinder that you skipped over adding extra pictures, go back and edit, edit, edit. Profiles with more photos see more matches. According to one Tinder study, women who upped pictures from one to three saw a 37 percent jump in matches while men saw an 82 percent increase.

Blank spaces were made for Taylor Swift songs, not your profile.

Credit: Instagram @taylorswift

If you can fill it out, do so. This includes specifying your location with a degree of accuracy. Some of your potential matches may be looking for city boys only while others don’t mind the suburbs. When you don’t specify your home base, you are limiting the field. 

Bios: Think tweets, not War and Peace.

Credit: Photo of the Book “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy. 20 May 2013. Wikimedia Commons. 22 May 2013.

Your bio provides you with a limited amount of space to make a killer first impression. The best way to do this is by keeping individual comments brief and charming. 

To be or not to be serious.

Credit: Hamlet – “To be or not to be, that is the question.” 1870. WikiMedia Commons. 15 June 2018.

It’s OK to specify passion topics, but equally okay to make a fun joking/not joking comment that reflects your interests, such as “If you think Darth Vader was misunderstood, swipe right.” 

Play with tone when introducing yourself in the bio.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Any single points about yourself should be succinct, but you can introduce them in paragraph form or create a spaced-out list that is more visually appealing. When you go through a dry spell, consider mixing up the format to improve scrolling potential.

Friends and family are a big part of your life but don’t need to be in all of your photos.

Credit: Tolee Fete in den fruher Sexhzigern. WikiMedia Commons. 11 July 2014.

After a starter mugshot, extra photos can be more freewheeling but should still highlight you. If your mom and/or kids are a major part of your life, include them in one picture to weed out bad matches but avoid using all of your snaps to show that you are social. You want to make new friends, not reinforce existing relationships.

Avoid telling your life story.

Credit: Books Books and More Books of Shelf Esteem. 1 November 2017. Wikimedia Commons. 3 November 2017.

See above. Friends and family are great, but don’t introduce Aunt Maria’s cousin in the bio or wax poetical about the little moments in life throughout. You want to provide succinct highlights and leave room for later conversation.

Tragedy and Tinder matches aren’t good bedfellows.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Emotional appeals are a mistake. Don’t lament the unfairness of the local dating scene or whine about your inability to meet new people in your profile or later messages. Instead, focus on what you want from Tinder – to meet new people.

Message your matches to get a conversation started.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Even if you match with someone you weren’t sure about swiping right for, invest some time in messaging. It helps you develop a rapport and feel for how to successfully convert a match to a date and may lead you to a winner. 

Ladies, Make the First Move.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

Women are less likely to instigate messaging on Tinder following a successful match according to research but both sexes need to step up to the plate. If you are interested in a man or woman, jump in and say, “Hello.”

Be persistent but not creepy.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

When you have a great match, give a little breathing room between a first message and subsequent check-ins but do follow up. A gentle nudge after 48 hours is good. Back-to-back “Did you get my messages?” messages are not.

Let’s not take this offline right now.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

Avoid immediately trying to get a fresh match to take a messaging session off Tinder and to traditional texting. Many people are concerned about share a personal number due to privacy concerns. No one wants a stalker. Only ask for additional contact info when you prepare for or finish a first meeting.

Even if your main goal on Tinder is to hookup, be a human first.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

If the only reason you want Tinder tips is to find a new hookup, that’s fine when your match is down for it. But don’t treat people you match with as your next booty call and navigate straight to pic requests and suggestive language without a bit of conversation. Consider it the equivalent of buying a drink at the bar before asking someone to go home with you.

Sales analogies are bad, but you need to close.

Credit: Friendship. Wikimedia Commons. 11 November 2005.

A great messaging session should lead to a meet-up. If things are stalling but you’re not ready for a big date, ask to continue the conversation over lunch, coffee or drinks. Try a pleasant, “Let’s continue this conversation over lunch this week. Does Monday or Wednesday work for you?” The assumption is a meeting will happen but the mechanics need to be sorted out. 

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Exclusive: Luis Fonsi Talks Working with Rauw Alejandro, Christina Aguilera, and Demi Lovato

Entertainment

Exclusive: Luis Fonsi Talks Working with Rauw Alejandro, Christina Aguilera, and Demi Lovato

Luis Fonsi is kicking off 2021 with a new single. The Puerto Rican superstar premiered the music video for “Vacío” on Feb. 18 featuring rising Boricua singer Rauw Alejandro. The guys put a new spin on the classic “A Puro Dolor” by Son By Four.

Luis Fonsi throws it back to his románticas.

“I called Omar Alfanno, the writer of ‘A Puro Dolo,’ who is a dear friend,” Fonsi tells Latido Music. “I told him what my idea was [with ‘Vacío’] and he loved it. He gave me his blessing, so I wrote a new song around a few of those lines from ‘A Puro Dolor’ to bring back that nostalgia of those old romantic tunes that have been a part of my career as well. It’s a fresh production. It sounds like today, but it has that DNA of a true, old-school ballad.”

The world got to know Fonsi through his global smash hit “Despacito” with Daddy Yankee in 2017. The remix with Canadian pop star Justin Bieber took the song to new heights. That was a big moment in Fonsi’s music career that spans over 20 years.

There’s more to Fonsi than “Despacito.”

Fonsi released his first album, the fittingly-titled Comenzaré, in 1998. While he was on the come-up, he got the opportunity of a lifetime to feature on Christina Aguilera’s debut Latin album Mi Reflejo in 2000. The two collaborated on “Si No Te Hubiera Conocido.” Fonsi scored multiple Billboard Hot Latin Songs No. 1s in the years that followed and one of the biggest hits was “No Me Doy Por Vencido” in 2008. That was his career-defining romantic ballad.

“Despacito” remains the second most-viewed music video on YouTube with over 7.2 billion views. The hits did not stop there. Later in 2017, he teamed up with Demi Lovato for “Échame La Culpa,” which sits impressively with over 2 billion views.

He’s also appearing on The Voice next month.

Not only is Fonsi working on his new album, but also he’s giving advice to music hopefuls for the new season of The Voice that’s premiering on March 1. Kelly Clarkson tapped him as her Battle Advisor. In an exclusive interview, Fonsi talked with us about “Vacío,” The Voice, and a few of his greatest hits.

What was the experience like to work with Rauw Alejandro for “Vacío”?

Rauw is cool. He’s got that fresh sound. Great artist. Very talented. Amazing onstage. He’s got that great tone and delivery. I thought he had the perfect voice to fit with my voice in this song. We had talked about working together for awhile and I thought that this was the perfect song. He really is such a star. What he’s done in the last couple of years has been amazing. I love what he brought to the table on this song.

Now I want to go through some of your greatest hits. Do you remember working with Christina Aguilera for her Spanish album?

How could you not remember working with her? She’s amazing. That was awhile back. That was like 1999 or something like that. We were both starting out and she was putting out her first Spanish album. I got to sing a beautiful ballad called “Si No Te Hubiera Conocido.” I got to work with her in the studio and see her sing in front of the mic, which was awesome. She’s great. One of the best voices out there still to this day.

What’s one of your favorite memories of “No Me Doy Por Vencido”?

“No Me Doy Por Vencido” is one of the biggest songs in my career. I think it’s tough to narrow it down just to one memory. I think in general the message of the song is what sticks with me. The song started out as a love song, but it turned into an anthem of hope. We’ve used the song for different important events and campaigns. To me, that song has such a powerful message. It’s bigger than just a love song. It’s bringing hope to people. It’s about not giving up. To be able to kind of give [people] hope through a song is a lot more powerful than I would’ve ever imagined. It’s a very special song.

I feel the message is very relevant to the COVID-19 pandemic we’re living through.

Oh yeah! I wrote that song a long time ago with Claudia Brant, and during the first or second month of the lockdown when we were all stuck at home, we did a virtual writing session and we rewrote “No Me Doy Por Vencido.” Changing the lyrics, kind of adjusting them to this situation that we’re living now. I haven’t recorded it. I’ll do something with it eventually. It’s really cool. It still talks about love. It talks about reuniting. Like the light at the end of the tunnel. It has the hope and love backbone, but it has to do a lot with what we’re going through now.

What do you think of the impact “Despacito” made on the industry?

It’s a blessing to be a part of something so big. Again, it’s just another song. We write these songs and the moment you write them, you don’t really know what’s going to happen with them. Or sometimes you run into these surprises like “Despacito” where it becomes a global phenomenon. It goes No. 1 in places where Spanish songs had never been played. I’m proud. I’m blessed. I’m grateful to have worked with amazing people like Daddy Yankee. Like Justin Bieber for the remix and everyone else involved in the song. My co-writer Erika Ender. The producers Mauricio Rengifo and Andrés Torres. It was really a team effort and it’s a song that obviously changed my career forever.

What was the experience like to work with Demi Lovato on “Echáme La Culpa”?

She’s awesome! One of the coolest recording sessions I’ve ever been a part of. She really wanted to sing in Spanish and she was so excited. We did the song in Spanish and English, but it was like she was more excited about the Spanish version. And she nailed it! She nailed it from the beginning. There was really not much for me to say to her. I probably corrected her once or twice in the pronunciation, but she came prepared and she brought it. She’s an amazing, amazing, amazing vocalist.

You’re going to be a battle advisor on The Voice. What was the experience like to work with Kelly Clarkson?

She’s awesome. What you see is what you get. She’s honest. She’s funny. She’s talented. She’s humble and she’s been very supportive of my career. She invited me to her show and it speaks a lot that she wanted me to be a part of her team as a Battle Advisor for the new season. She supports Latin music and I’m grateful for that. She’s everything you hope she would be. She’s the real deal, a true star, and just one of the coolest people on this planet.

What can we expect from you in 2021?

A lot of new music. Obviously, everything starts today with “Vacío.” This is literally the beginning of what this new album will be. I’ve done nothing but write and record during the last 10 months, so I have a bunch of songs. Great collaborations coming up. I really think the album will be out probably [in the] third or fourth quarter this year. The songs are there and I’m really eager for everybody to hear them.

Read: We Finally Have A Spanish-Language Song As The Most Streamed Song Of All Time

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Lifestyles Of The Rich And Dangerous: Cartels Are Using TikTok To Lure Young People

Things That Matter

Lifestyles Of The Rich And Dangerous: Cartels Are Using TikTok To Lure Young People

If you’ve ever wondered what someone with a bulletproof vest and an AR-15 would look like flossing — the dance, not the method of dental hygiene — apparently the answer to that question can be found on TikTok.

Unfortunately, it’s not as a part of some absurdist sketch comedy or surreal video art installation. Instead, it’s part of a growing trend of drug cartels in Mexico using TikTok as a marketing tool. Nevermind the fact that Mexico broke grim records last year for the number of homicides and cartel violence, the cartels have found an audience on TikTok and that’s a serious cause for concern.

Mexican cartels are using TikTok to gain power and new recruits.

Just a couple of months ago, a TikTok video showing a legit high-speed chase between police and drug traffickers went viral. Although it looked like a scene from Netflix’s Narcos series, this was a very real chase in the drug cartel wars and it was viewed by more than a million people.

Typing #CartelTikTok in the social media search bar brings up thousands of videos, most of them from people promoting a “cartel culture” – videos with narcocorridos, and presumed members bragging about money, fancy cars and a luxury lifestyle.

Viewers no longer see bodies hanging from bridges, disembodied heads on display, or highly produced videos with messages to their enemies. At least not on TikTok. The platform is being used mainly to promote a lifestyle and to generate a picture of luxury and glamour, to show the ‘benefits’ of joining the criminal activities.

According to security officials, the promotion of these videos is to entice young men who might be interested in joining the cartel with images of endless cash, parties, military-grade weapons and exotic pets like tiger cubs.

Cartels have long used social media to shock and intimidate their enemies.

And using social media to promote themselves has long been an effective strategy. But with Mexico yet again shattering murder records, experts on organized crime say Cartel TikTok is just the latest propaganda campaign designed to mask the blood bath and use the promise of infinite wealth to attract expendable young recruits.

“It’s narco-marketing,” said Alejandra León Olvera, an anthropologist at Spain’s University of Murcia, in a statement to the New York Times. The cartels “use these kinds of platforms for publicity, but of course it’s hedonistic publicity.”

Mexico used to be ground zero for this kind of activity, where researchers created a new discipline out of studying these narco posts. Now, gangs in Brazil, Colombia, El Salvador, and the United States are also involved.

A search of the #CartelTikTok community and its related accounts shows people are responding. Public comments from users such as “Y’all hiring?” “Yall let gringos join?” “I need an application,” or “can I be a mule? My kids need Christmas presents,” are on some of the videos.

One of the accounts related to this cartel community publicly answered: “Of course, hay trabajo para todos,” “I’ll send the application ASAP.” “How much is the pound in your city?” “Follow me on Instagram to talk.” The post, showing two men with $100 bills and alcohol, had more than a hundred comments.

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