relationships

Climb out of the Tinder basement: 19 ways to level up your game

If all your Tinder game has led to recently is a sprained swiping finger, it’s time to upgrade your profile to get the matches rolling. You don’t need a head-to-toe makeover straight out of the movies to seriously improve your desirability on the dating app. Instead, perfect your message and make sure your profile is saying what you want people to hear. With a few new profile pictures and a strong bio, prepare to spend a lot more time on dates with recent matches and a lot less time worrying about your number.

Your starter job headshot was awesome, but why are using it 10 years later?

Credit: Photograph of Bronislava Nijinska, graduation picture, 1908. Digital image. Wikimedia Commons. 13 December 2015.

Pictures are hard. Unless you are a selfie fan or a social butterfly, a good snapshot may only come around once a decade. However, using dated pictures is a major problem on Tinder. When the person in the photo doesn’t match your listed age or your appearance in extra pics, potential matches may view you as untrustworthy and swipe left.

Schedule a photoshoot with a friend for new pictures.

Credit: Photographic portrait of nature photographer Ansel Adams. 1950. Wikimedia Commons. 6 March 2018.

If you need new pictures go on an outing with a friend and take dozens of photos to review. Pick the best options that reflect a bit about your personality, such as an enthusiasm for fine dining, and use them on your profile.

Tinder isn’t jail, but you still need a mugshot.

Credit: Elvis Mugshot. 1970. Wikimedia Commons. 7 March 2016.

Whether your trying to get a date or a job, a good headshot is a must. When updating your photos, make sure one focuses primarily on your face. It doesn’t have to be full Orange Is the New Black but should stick to the upper third of your body. Potential matches want to see your face. Give it to them in the first picture.

Props are great, except in your Tinder profile pictures.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

A successful Tinder profile does require a bit of personality, and you definitely need to convey it anyway possible…except with too many props, such as shirts with a message, your car, a favorite gesture, a political button or pets. If someone misinterprets your meaning or takes a joke as a hard stance, you lose a match.

Assume that others will make assumptions.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Men and women are going to take in everything in your photos to determine your personality. If you give them too much data, there is too much to judge before a conversations start. Beyond mixed messages, you may also find the interior of the room is reviewed or the tidiness of your backdrop assessed. Make sure everything in your photo conveys the real you. 

Use all of the picture slots to increase matches.

Credit: Twitter @Tinder

If you were so excited to join Tinder that you skipped over adding extra pictures, go back and edit, edit, edit. Profiles with more photos see more matches. According to one Tinder study, women who upped pictures from one to three saw a 37 percent jump in matches while men saw an 82 percent increase.

Blank spaces were made for Taylor Swift songs, not your profile.

Credit: Instagram @taylorswift

If you can fill it out, do so. This includes specifying your location with a degree of accuracy. Some of your potential matches may be looking for city boys only while others don’t mind the suburbs. When you don’t specify your home base, you are limiting the field. 

Bios: Think tweets, not War and Peace.

Credit: Photo of the Book “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy. 20 May 2013. Wikimedia Commons. 22 May 2013.

Your bio provides you with a limited amount of space to make a killer first impression. The best way to do this is by keeping individual comments brief and charming. 

To be or not to be serious.

Credit: Hamlet – “To be or not to be, that is the question.” 1870. WikiMedia Commons. 15 June 2018.

It’s OK to specify passion topics, but equally okay to make a fun joking/not joking comment that reflects your interests, such as “If you think Darth Vader was misunderstood, swipe right.” 

Play with tone when introducing yourself in the bio.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Any single points about yourself should be succinct, but you can introduce them in paragraph form or create a spaced-out list that is more visually appealing. When you go through a dry spell, consider mixing up the format to improve scrolling potential.

Friends and family are a big part of your life but don’t need to be in all of your photos.

Credit: Tolee Fete in den fruher Sexhzigern. WikiMedia Commons. 11 July 2014.

After a starter mugshot, extra photos can be more freewheeling but should still highlight you. If your mom and/or kids are a major part of your life, include them in one picture to weed out bad matches but avoid using all of your snaps to show that you are social. You want to make new friends, not reinforce existing relationships.

Avoid telling your life story.

Credit: Books Books and More Books of Shelf Esteem. 1 November 2017. Wikimedia Commons. 3 November 2017.

See above. Friends and family are great, but don’t introduce Aunt Maria’s cousin in the bio or wax poetical about the little moments in life throughout. You want to provide succinct highlights and leave room for later conversation.

Tragedy and Tinder matches aren’t good bedfellows.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Emotional appeals are a mistake. Don’t lament the unfairness of the local dating scene or whine about your inability to meet new people in your profile or later messages. Instead, focus on what you want from Tinder – to meet new people.

Message your matches to get a conversation started.

Credit: Instagram @Tinder

Even if you match with someone you weren’t sure about swiping right for, invest some time in messaging. It helps you develop a rapport and feel for how to successfully convert a match to a date and may lead you to a winner. 

Ladies, Make the First Move.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

Women are less likely to instigate messaging on Tinder following a successful match according to research but both sexes need to step up to the plate. If you are interested in a man or woman, jump in and say, “Hello.”

Be persistent but not creepy.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

When you have a great match, give a little breathing room between a first message and subsequent check-ins but do follow up. A gentle nudge after 48 hours is good. Back-to-back “Did you get my messages?” messages are not.

Let’s not take this offline right now.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

Avoid immediately trying to get a fresh match to take a messaging session off Tinder and to traditional texting. Many people are concerned about share a personal number due to privacy concerns. No one wants a stalker. Only ask for additional contact info when you prepare for or finish a first meeting.

Even if your main goal on Tinder is to hookup, be a human first.

Credit: Instagram @tinder

If the only reason you want Tinder tips is to find a new hookup, that’s fine when your match is down for it. But don’t treat people you match with as your next booty call and navigate straight to pic requests and suggestive language without a bit of conversation. Consider it the equivalent of buying a drink at the bar before asking someone to go home with you.

Sales analogies are bad, but you need to close.

Credit: Friendship. Wikimedia Commons. 11 November 2005.

A great messaging session should lead to a meet-up. If things are stalling but you’re not ready for a big date, ask to continue the conversation over lunch, coffee or drinks. Try a pleasant, “Let’s continue this conversation over lunch this week. Does Monday or Wednesday work for you?” The assumption is a meeting will happen but the mechanics need to be sorted out. 

Miami Airbnbs To Keep You Cozy While You Avoid Your Family During the Holidays

relationships

Miami Airbnbs To Keep You Cozy While You Avoid Your Family During the Holidays

Deborah / Airbnb

If it hasn’t already started happening, pretty soon the nagging about buying your plane tickets back home to Miami will be cada hora, at the top of the hour. If you’re like me and you love your thriving, absurd, no-place-like-home Puerto Rican and Cuban family in Miami but you also just learned about self-care, there is a middle ground. Tell your Mami you’re coming home so she can stop lighting all the candles in the house and book an Airbnb. Check out these places to hide away while visiting family if you need a moment to breathe.

Treehouse Canopy Room: Permaculture Farm | $65 per night

CREDIT: Leslie / Airbnb

Is your family time so crazy that you need to be one with nature to relax? Hang in the Florida canopy in Little Haiti with fresh produce, eggs, and honey on hand. When your family is driving you loco, you can feed some goats and rent a kayak.

Relaxing Cottage in Coconut Grove | $90 per night

CREDIT: Ronni & Becca / Airbnb

Treat yourself to a place of solitude in Coconut Grove. The guest house shares a pool, waterfall and koi pond with the family in residence. Find your zen.

Charming Cottage Great Location Close to Center | $77 per night

CREDIT: Ines / Airbnb

Stay local to Little Havana and away from the MAGA familia by supporting Ines, who says it like it is: “Together we will not build walls but a magnificent future for our children and future generations.”

CHARMING STUDIO @ THE BEACH | $79 per night

CREDIT: Christian / Airbnb

You know when you make your mami promise you que nos vamos a la playa and then you never do? Make it your home base.

New 15th Floor Beachfront 180º Oceanview Apartment | $49 per night

CREDIT: Shane And Maru / Airbnb

Always wanted to experience living inside a modern minimalist Instagram aesthetic? This is a super cheap way to do it within walking distance of Miami Beach. That’s right. You can see the beach from here.

New Artistic & gorgeous cottage with private yard | $79 per night

CREDIT: Ana / Airbnb

Artists, escuchen. This loft is full of supplies for crafting and is used as a studio when desocupado. Plus, there’s an avocado tree in the backyard.

Amazing Penthouse with private pool stunning view | $2,500 per night

CREDIT: Luxury Property / Airbnb

Maybe you’re Cardi B. Maybe you’ll enjoy seeing this to know how the other side lives. Rent this 5,600 sq foot two-story penthouse with 7 bedrooms, sauna, private gym, and indoor pool. Invite me. K, thanks.

Centrally located resort style Miami home | $269 per night

CREDIT: Evelyn / Airbnb

You might have to go in on this with your primos, but it’ll be worth it. The 3-bedroom home is built around the pool, meaning rest and relaxation takes center stage.

Oasis Pool Home in the heart of Miami | $200 per night

CREDIT: John / Airbnb

If you think that pool is insane, wait until you see the rest of this Balinese style home. Located in the heart of Coconut Grove, the place is big enough for you to invite your favorite cousins.

Beautiful Poolside Studio, Heart of Miami | $72 per night

CREDIT: Deborah / Airbnb

OK, so that whole casa Azul is not yours, but you get the guest house which has access to that glorious pool. This is perfect if you want to stay close to the family in Little Havana, but have some separation.

Amazing Brickell Bay Penthouse | $99 per night

CREDIT: Gustavo / Airbnb

Embody the mental state of “everyone is beneath me” this holiday season by staying in this modern, luxurious penthouse. If your people play their cards right, they may get access to the two pools, gym and spa you’ll have available to you.

Ocean Drive Luxury Beachfront Studio. Ocean View Pool | $104 per night

CREDIT: Catalina / Airbnb

We’re here for the bathtub. Also the status symbol of staying at Congress Hotel in South Beach. Chill on the rooftop by the pool, overlooking the ocean and then soak in your majestic tub after. Tell your family you’re staying with friends.

Gorgeous & Spacious Mid Miami Beach | $80 per night

CREDIT: Sandra / Airbnb

Hurry up! Sandra is booking up fast. Probably because of its tasteful ambience located right across from the boardwalk, its private pool and nearby beach available at all times.

Beachy Chic South Beach Studio Apt | $40 per night

CREDIT: Keith and Connie / Airbnb

Mis amigos desperados. You’re not looking for a vacay. You’re on a budget and investing in your mental sanity. You canasta in South Beach for $40. ‘Nuff Said.

Cottage Oasis on the Miami River Circa 1936 | $45 per night

CREDIT: Luis / Airbnb

This modern, little loft is on the Miami River and has a plunge pool right outside. You can also rent a long list of Porsche’s during your stay from the very same Luis.

Large Trendy 2 Bedroom in Arts District with Views | $100 per night

CREDIT: Randy / Airbnb

Step out of Hialeah and step into Miami’s Arts District with panoramic views of Biscayne Bay. This is where the after party happens after the abuelas say their prayers to Saint Anthony for your soul lost to la fiesta.

Bayfront 5-Star Luxury Hotel-Water View Studio | $104 per night

CREDIT: Catalina / Airbnb

This view alone is worth the dinero, but add the free beach cruiser, ocean kayaks and SUP boards, gym, yoga and Go Pro rental and you’ve invested in a Flamingo Park experience with just a taste of luchando over Longana.

Little Havana: Spacious Cottage with Beach Gear! | $79 per night

CREDIT: Allán / Airbnb

Stay in Little Havana but feel like you’re staying in the whitest of clouds. Walk outside and you’ve got Cuban Cafés, cigar shops, and Calle Ocho to keep you company (if your family ever leaves you alone).

*TROPICAL DECO APARTMENT – Steps From The Beach* | $29 per night

CREDIT: spb / Airbnb

Maybe you love your family? Maybe you want to return to your Miami roots for a minute. This 6 month rental is affordable, in the heart of the Art Deco district and five minute walk from the beach. Check out all those Miami sites you never did growing up. Disfrute.

30’ Sailboat, with kitchen | $76 per night

CREDIT: Alejandro / Airbnb

OR—plan your getaway in advance by renting this sailboat. JK—you’ll have to organize day trips with Alejandro, but in the meantime, you can enjoy the solar panel operated modern luxuries with a classic sea breeze.


READ: 21 Insane Miami Airbnbs To Vacation In Forever

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