Making a long-distance relationship last isn’t a piece of cake. In some cases, things get too difficult and complicated which causes the relationship to fall apart. However, some couples are able to make it work. These are a few of the ups and downs you can expect to encounter if you decide to give long distance love a shot.
The hardest part is the distance.
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Being apart from the person you love and care about definitely puts a strain on your relationship. You might have the technology to communicate, but not being able to get a hug from that person after a long day is one of the things that suck.
Even though you have the option to visit each other, traveling can get super expensive.
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Holiday vacations are great to have if you’re trying to make the time to visit each other, however, plane tickets, train tickets, and gas are not cheap. So no matter how badly you want to see each other, sometimes money gets in the way of that.
But if it’s not money that gets in the way, it’s your busy schedules.
You and your partner have to make sure that your schedules align. If they don’t, then trying to plan a date to visit each other is almost impossible.
And that time really adds up and before you know it, you are mising them more than ever.
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Time has a way of flying by and adding up so quickly you forget just how long you have been waiting. It always catches you by surprise and yu always promise to to better but things get challenging and life happens. Don’t beat yourself up. True love endures everything.
After so much time apart, tension and insecurities start to build up.
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Lets be real: it’s tough to feel completely secure when you don’t see each other every single day. Simple text reminders like ‘Hey I love you,’ ‘Hey I want you,’ and ‘Hey you’re my everything’ can make a huge difference.
One of these insecurities includes a lack of trust.
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If there’s no trust, you start to wonder if your significant other is starting to build a romantic relationship with someone else since you’re not there with them.
And there’s also the fear of missing out.
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Being apart can cause FOMO (fear of missing out). There will be some experiences that you won’t be able to share with the person that you love and that steals away a little bit of joy from the moment.
Missing out in each other’s lives then leads to the fear of possibly growing apart.
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This is exactly why being in a long distance relationship takes so much work and effort.
But no matter how hard it gets, there’s another side to it that you learn to love and this is what makes it all worth it.
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With so much time apart, you start to love and appreciate each other so much more.
While being apart is tough, it allows you to pursue your dreams unencumbered.
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Of course, you boo is going to support you no matter what. However, taking long nights at the office or joining after-work events is easier knowing the love of your life isn’t waiting for you at home.
It also gives you a chance to build strong friendships with people to see every day.
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It is healthy for two people in a relationship to make friends and have lives outside of their relationship. This is something that is just easier to do when you and your boyfriend/girlfriend live apart but have a strong foundation of trust.
And those same friends will be there to hold you up when you start feeling insecure about the distance from your amor.
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The power of friendship is one of the best feelings in the world. They keep you in check when you get too wild and will always hold you up when you start to feel low.
One of the best parts about it, is the excitement and adrenaline you feel every time you’re going to see each other again.
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The weeks, days, hours and minutes leading up to the day that you two get to see each other and reconnect are filled with so much joy and excitement.
Like, really. The excitement of reconnecting is almost too much to handle.
Sometimes you might be a little too much but that’s what this is all about. There is just so much excitement about finally seeing your boo thing that you just can’t help it. Like, sorry, not sorry.
Another plus side to being apart for so long is that you always have stories chisme to tell.
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There is no such thing as a dull moment between the two of you because there is always a constant conversation.
You also have the perk of having a second home away from home.
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This means you have double the cities to explore, double the restaurants to eat at and double the attractions to explore together.
But most importantly, being apart from each other makes you appreciate the little things.
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There are things you start to notice about each other that other couples might take for granted. And once you start to notice and appreciate these small personality traits about each other, it makes you value that person for who they are so much more.
A long distance relationship teaches you to never take anything for granted.
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It’s all about embracing and appreciating every moment you have together, especially since you hardly get to spend time together.
Even though it’s not easy, distance is what really puts your love to test.
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And at the end of the day, if your relationship doesn’t work out, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
For more on long distance ups and downs, check out the rom-com, “Long Distance.”
It can be hard to feel comfortable accepting compliments and love from friends, strangers, and sometimes our own crush. The truth is however, that sometimes a sweet compliment can go along way in making us feel seen, loved, and admired by the people whose opinions we value the most. A woman on Reddit is sharing this truth after coming to the realization that she felt shy about asking her boyfriend to compliment her more.
The users on Reddit were quick to offer some insight and advice into how this happens.
“I went on a couple dates with someone who was good conversation but didn’t say anything nice to me even though people around us were complimenting my look. Then I stopped seeing him and he began to pepper in insults over text. Later I found out he was following some redpill strategy guide and told me that “you don’t get compliments because my praise is a gift and you need to deserve them and learn to be thankful for them.” I was happy to block someone so romantically stagnant.
I think it’s not pathetic at all to want an essential and fun part of the dynamic between men and women. It’s a clinical and boring relationship without lovely words and such. I listened to some Seema Anand lectures and was captivated by the romance in the ancient Sanskrit texts she references.
You need to tell him what you want. If that doesn’t work, you need to think about the kind of love you want to receive long term.”-CountCute
“That is horrific. Holy shit you dodged a bullet. These red pill men are insane but hey, at least they out themselves so we can ditch them lol. Dumb*sses. I can’t imagine being that much of a loser. Also I love what you said about romance. Words are everything. Compliments, flirting, dirty talk…all of it. What is the point of dating without that stuff.”- aapaul
“It sounds like your “love language” is words of affirmation. His is obviously something else!
The only way is to tell him that it’s important to you that he say kind things to you. He will have similar needs that may or may not be met already. Does he buy or make you things? Is he very affectionate with touch? Does he perform acts of service such as repairing things or walking your dog? Does he like to spend quality time interacting with you? Any of those or a combination could be his “love language”.
It’s okay to have needs. That’s how you show love and appreciation so when he doesn’t do it you feel less appreciated. Totally normal!
Talking about love languages with a partner or even a friend or family member can be such a positive and enriching experience. I highly recommend it.
“To be honest, I think that my ‘love language’ is gifting. I love to give gifts to people, I’m not good with words and I feel like he might not be either. I want to communicate this issue with him but it just hurts. I’m worried that he just won’t understand or won’t be able to do his part.”- Cath1212
“You need to tell him how you feel. It is essential that you overcome your fear of communicating with him. If you can’t talk about your feelings with your potential-life-partner without it all falling apart, then it just wasn’t meant to be.
If I were in your shoes, I would approach my boyfriend by saying something like this: “I feel a little pathetic for feeling this way, but since we’ve been together, you hardly ever compliment me when I get dressed up or get a new outfit, and it makes me feel like you aren’t attracted to me. I hear my friends complimenting each other and their significant others, and I can’t help but wish we hyped each other up more often. It would really boost my confidence to know that you find me beautiful and attractive.”
And as a side note, you aren’t being pathetic for wanting to know that your boyfriend finds you attractive. The vast majority of people are with their partners because they found them attractive, got to know them, and ended up loving them! Compliments go a really long ways for almost everyone! That’s why strangers compliment each other, why parents compliment their children, why teachers compliment their students, why friends compliment their friends, and so on; we all get an ego boost from it, it’s just human nature!
Honestly, if your boyfriend makes you feel ashamed for wanting him to express that he’s actually physically attracted to you, move on and find someone else. Finding a life partner isn’t easy, and it’s okay to move on and find someone who actually gets you and respects you and wants you to feel beautiful and happy.”- clearview69
“I had a boyfriend who expected me to compliment him and I never did, so he broke up with me. He told my friend “if she doesn’t say anything, I’m dumping her today.” Granted, we were in middle school, but had he told me, I would have absolutely changed that.
I now make sure to always compliment my husband, and if I want compliments but his sexy, oblivious butt doesn’t always catch it, so I’ll be like ahem like my mascara? flutter flutter and then he’ll laugh, apologize and compliment me like crazy. Hopefully this is the case with your bf, unless there’s other red flags!”- NoMamesMijito
“Girl. I was with a guy would leave compliments to other women on social media like, “omfg you’re so gorgeous 😍 do you have boyfriend?”
“I don’t think you are pathetic at all. If you talk with the bf about this & he says anything other than ‘thanks for letting me know what you want/need, I am here for it’ I would recommend maybe giving a second look at the relationship. If he promises to change but doesn’t, think hard about whether you want to be chasing something that you won’t get from an incompatible person. This can be a red flag in my experience.”-Flippin_diabolical
“Everyone expresses affection differently, it’s likely that he just doesn’t realise he should be complimenting you. He must think you’re amazing, or he wouldn’t be with you 🙂 It’s not pathetic to want compliments, though, and I’m sure he’d be happy to give them if he realised they were important to you. Just talk to him openly, and if he has an issue with you expressing your emotions then THAT’S a red flag. Please talk to him, he can’t fix it if he doesn’t know what’s wrong!”-ScreenHype
“It is not pathetic. But you need to talk to him. The fact that he doesn’t compliment you doesn’t mean he doesn’t find you attractive, it may just mean he’s not naturally effusive.
You can’t expect someone to read your mind and know what you want and need, you have to communicate it. You can’t expect he’ll get the hint either because you compliment him. Save yourself a lifetime of disappointment and learn how to communicate what you want and need to your partner.
If he is not willing to make this effort, or acts as though you are pathetic, then that may be a sign to move on, but generally people are happy to have clarification on how to make happy those that they love.
Your wants are valid. You are not only allowed, but encouraged to communicate them openly and honestly.”- aam726
“It is not pathetic at all. If I really liked someone I would want to compliment and support this person. I am not talking about fake compliments for the sake of saying something but real ones. If you have been with someone over a year and they rarely compliment you (eg. once a year) they probably don’t appreciate you and the effort that you put in the relationship.”-Onegreenmartian
“You deserve to be validated and appreciated. Complimenting you makes them feel vulnerable because they are insecure about themselves. It’s pathetic and toxic. This dynamic can destroy your self-esteem and leave you feeling less than.”-throwaway75ge
“Talk to him about that. My partner – whom I love dearly and with whom I have two children – doesn’t do compliments. I give him compliments all the time and he does know I appreciate them and that I also need other kinds of verbal affirmation, but it’s never been easy for him to do that. We talk about it, he’s improved a lot on his verbal skills (especially talking about emotions, he’s quite good at that now), but it’ll never come naturally to him. I know he’s more about acts of service as his love language, so I recognize it as a sign of affection when he does something for me. It might be a thing like this (which can still be a deal blocker for you, that’s totally valid), or it could be something else – but you won’t know if you don’t talk about it.”- Tuuleh
“That’s not normal. Now, my husband is on the opposite end of the spectrum and lavishes me with compliments all day every day. I have a hard time articulating myself and he begs for more compliments and I need to work to be better at it. But no compliments? Ever? Unless he is neurologically atypical or raised by wolves this is likely either intentional or a strong indicator of how he truly feels about you. Ask yourself, do you want to feel this way for the rest of your life?”- wrwck92
“3 words: words have power.
You’re not pathetic for wanting to hear your boyfriend compliment you. I understand it may be how he functions considering everyone has their own way of expression, but if it doesn’t work for you, then it’s better to voice our your concern than letting it build up. You’ve already been with him for over a year. Keeping it buried and letting it fester will only destroy your relationship.”-ShefCutie
“If this is something you feel, then express it. If he dismisses, then it’s time to go, because if he cannot adjust himself on something small to your needs like RECOGNITION, then he isn’t going to adjust much for you in the long run on something bigger. If he isn’t going to give you what you need, he needs to watch himself because someone else will. Just talk to him, there is nothing to lose and if there is something to lose like him, it’s not that big of a loss. More of dodging a bullet. Just communicate and be blunt, they need straight forward answers.”- Super_Boss368
There’s a case to be made about being on a Bad Date.
While never ideal, even in the best of bad date scenarios, oftentimes when we spin the experiences on their heads we can remind ourselves that behind every bad one is a lesson. Whether it’s how to avoid them in the future, or the discovery of a really great new restaurant, sometimes they can have their upsides.
Women on Reddit are sharing one of the ultimate upsides of a bad date: regaining power. From the moment you realize you’re on a date to the second you decide to get up and walk out, always remember you’ve got the power.
“This was a blind date with some guy a friend arranged. We we’re like 15 minutes into our date when he said (in exactly this order) that he ‘likes to eat asses, lick feet and if this is going to be serious you really need to lose weight’. I wanted to leave the date as soon as he said that when he suddenly demanded that I drive him home because he didn’t have a car and used the train to get there. I told him that my car wouldn’t be able to move with 2 fatties in it and drove home.”- bincsi182
“We met at a park for our first date and he was definitely giving off weird vibes. Within a half hour, he asked if I’d give him a blow job. Right there in the middle of the park. I said no, there’s people around and I just met you. His next idea was to go in the men’s bathroom and asked if I’d do it there. I said sure you go in and I’ll follow a couple minutes later so it doesn’t look suspicious. Once he walked in the bathroom, I quickly found my car and left his horny a**.” –CrazyCabinet577
“This was a long time ago before I began dating my now husband. I was about a year into my recovery from alcoholism and went on a dinner date at a restaurant with a guy who I’d warned I was a recovering alcoholic and who had claimed to be supportive.
When the waitress came he ordered a bottle of wine and a Manhattan. I ordered a tonic with a lime wedge. He told the waitress not to bring my drink because he ordered the wine for both of us. I told her “I don’t drink, please bring what I ordered.” He sat back and expelled air through his nose. I was turned off but figured maybe he forgot, so I politely reminded him.
When the drinks came, he poured a splash of his Manhattan into my alcohol-free drink with a smirk and told me to “lighten up.” I put $10 on the table, grabbed my coat and purse, and left while he begged me “don’t do this to me…it was a joke.”
He called me and left phone messages for a couple months, oscillating between groveling and angrily admonishing me for embarrassing him and/or breaking his heart.”- mysticpudding
“A panic attack. It was a month after my dad died, and it suddenly hit me that I shouldn’t be dating. I said I was going to the bathroom, ran to my car, and left. I messaged him and apologized, and he was super nice and understanding. And anyway we’re still together now.”- Sensitiverock85
“I don’t have just 1; I have several. These are all different guys from different dates…
One looked NOTHING like his profile pics. Way chubbier, teeth were awful, and just NO.
One told me he would like to breed with me immediately to save the Arian race (we are both blonde with blue eyes).
One asked me if I was ever with a black guy because if I was, he would not tolerate it “as my vagina is now loose from the sex”.
One brought his 3 year old kid along (his dating app said he had no kids…)
One was texting on his phone the entire time.
One just NEVER showed up so I had to leave.
I’ve been on hundreds of dates so I have way more, but these were the main weirdos I’ll never forget…”-Chuck2025
“You had so much bad luck and more guts than any of us to leave just like that, i would just try to get an excuse to leave then ghost him afterwards. For the first one, thats why i always look if they have pictures smilling, you honestly cant know how a person really is irl until you actually see them smiling. For the 4, god ive seen so many guys literally having their profile pic with their own child it disgusted me, just say you have a kid and move on. For 5 i would say to anyone who does that to you, you should leave.”-mjigs
“I worked at a university summer program and many people were from out of state. They held 10 day programs and I got to know a variety of cool people. This one guy asked me to dinner towards the end of his program and I accepted. I was 22. He was slightly older-30-31? He made a big show of ordering the damn wine and appetizers and being wealthy and I was already regretting it but I thought-free meal-WTF-so I excused myself and went to the restroom and slipped out to catch a buzz. Once I returned he was arguing with the waiter about the oysters and the waiter rolled his eyes and said he would get them fresh and this guy winked at me like he was tHE SHIT! anyway I was chatting away and he interrupted me twice to point out I had said words ending in ” ing” and had not fully pronounced the “hard g” and said ” it makes you look uneducated”. I just stared at him and he asked where I had grown up and where I had gone to school and I said ” Harlem and …” I was about to state my other school in East Manhattan and he dismissed me, saying ” enough said”. Then he goes ” But you’re white, correct? I looked at all of the food and chugged my wine, poured another glass of it and chugged that and slightly belched and said ” enjoy the food.”- Bigfukkendeal
“This is all one guy on the same first date… there’s a part of me that wondered if I stayed the 45 minutes that I did just to see how bad it could get lol. TLDR: he was a very cringey incel.
Showed up 10 minutes late to what was supposed to be just a short coffee date
Tried to make a joke about how he hoped we weren’t related when he found out both our moms are Japanese but the delivery was real awkward
Boasted about how he was in the military during “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” and would have proved to a military court he wasn’t gay by eating out one of the female officers on the spot
Randomly launched into a completely unprompted story about how when he was in his early teens, his friend’s older sister and her friends pressured him into jerking off into a pill bottle in front of them. He sounded proud about it.
Made comments about how if he couldn’t find a girl to realise what a good guy he was and marry him, there’s just no point in living in a city with women with such low IQ
Followed me to my car and stood behind it so I couldn’t leave and then asked me to rate how badly the date went (I was honest)
And to top it all off, the next day, he text me (I honestly thought I was clear about how bad the date went and just deleted his number but didn’t block it) saying “do you like Vietnamese food? We could get PhoKing!” with a winking face.
I blocked him at that point. I swear it was like he watched some guys with natural swagger and charm use joking lines or cocky comments and still get girls and then figured he could get away with it too.”- dragons_and_sandals
“He texted me from the bathroom “sorry babe, I’m still stuck at work but I’ll be home ASAP”… obviously for his girlfriend. I was gone before he got back to the table.”- mediumsizedbootyjudy
“When I (27F) was about 22 I went on a date with a guy that was a few years older than I was. We went out to a bar and the conversation very quickly became about his career and his father’s career (both doctors). He started to talk about his fathers belief that Australia should medically disable Aboriginal women from having children as they are not fit for parenting and would be a good way to phase Aboriginal people out… He strongly agreed with his fathers ideals and as soon as I realised he was not joking I grabbed my bag, slapped him across the face, called him a pig and left… Mind blowing that there are people out there like this that exist.”- Bec_Drayton
“Once had guy walk out on me, shouting “I can’t listen to this!” when I said to him that I thought he was racist for saying “child abuse is part of Aboriginal culture.” I now low key regret not slapping him….”- sarahgrey64
“Smdh Dude I have been there except he asked me to sum up all my details in a quick spew, I did and then said alright now you go! He dead ass said, “well there’s not much to tell ya kno?” When I tried asking individual questions he just tried to change the subject… after the 4th question I picked up my Starbucks and started walking away. He asked where was I going, and I just replied “there’s not too much to tell ya kno” and left.”- MsBlis
“I was 20 & went out with my boss, who I’d had a crush on for a while. He was twice my age, funny, tall, and the general manager of a pizza restaurant where I waitressed. It was a casual hang out without expectations on my end. I was not very experienced and I always have been a time taker in relationships.
While driving me home after what must have been dinner that Ive now forgotten, he shared that his wife, the mother of his four children, had died in a car crash. Also that he was the driver & was found to be at fault…he was intoxicated and drove them straight into a wall. He said his entire face had been reconstructed and that he was dating because he needed a mom for his four kids. I was like, ‘I am 20, how old is your oldest kid?’ He was like ’17.’ If I could have vanished right then I would have. We pulled into my driveway and he wanted to make out. I didn’t dare say I wasn’t into it, so I gave him a nervous kiss and said I was tired and done for the night.
He asked to use my bathroom. I was sitting on my futon waiting for him, when he came out and plopped right down next to me. My normally sweet, friendly cat suddenly growled and hissed at him defensively. It was so strange and out of character for the cat that I started paying closer attention to my surroundings.
My date definitely seemed weird now. I had just one room and a bathroom so I went in the bathroom to think of how to get him out of there —my bathroom smelled like burnt plastic. My cat was going ape shit so I used that excuse to ask him to leave, which he did. Later I found out that smell was crack. We didn’t go out again.”- spandexcatsuit
“I was on a date, and while we were just meeting up and talking, he was still on Tinder looking at other future women. Rude! I literally left a few minutes after talking.”- coimas
“I went out with a guy once and things went really well. afterwards, we were sitting in my car talking and i mentioned that my dad was gay. he told me that i ‘should’ve disowned him.’ i told him to get the fuck out of my car and never speak to me again.” –nopenonotatall
“Right after he went down a dark and spiteful rant about how women in the city were shallow and petty for not wanting to date him (5’5”). He was so smart and so charming and women just couldn’t understand him. Major red pill, ‘woe is me,’ misogynist vibes. Told him we wouldn’t work out, grabbed my coat, and left.”- takemeup-castmeaway
“Roofies. I got up to go to the bathroom mid-(first) drink on a first date in a casual bar I’m familiar with close to my apartment at the time. Date was fine, nor great, but not terrible. When I got back, he told me to “finish my drink and order us another round” while he went to the restroom. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but had a couple sips of my beer and motioned to the bartender to order another round. Bartender then gives me a glass of water and tells me I should leave. When I asked why, he said a girl nearby just approached him and told him she saw my date put something into my beer. I totally panicked. I handed him a $20 (which he didn’t want to take but I was so freaked out) and left. I barely remember anything after that. It was 3/4 of a beer at most. I blocked the guy the next day when I woke up to 17 missed calls and about 40 texts asking why I felt the need to leave when “we were totally vibing”.
LADIES- watch your drinks on dates. Even when you are an older 20-something meeting for a “quick drink” after work, this can happen. Thank god someone was looking out for me that day.”- CHRGON_FEF_NYC
“This guy was a total catfish, but I was nice about it. He kept cussing during the first twenty minutes and it made me uncomfortable, so after the first drink, I decided to go… he asked me for feedback on his dating profile, and I told him all of his pictures had other people in it and it was hard to discern which he was. So. He asked me to look at a picture his friend sent him. He pulled up the conversation in the iPhone, then clicked the media and there were a bunch of vaginas. Like an endless thumbnail stream of vaginas in different sizes and colors. I was like, ‘yeah, I’m gonna go…’”- Allupinyourface
“Went on a brief date with a guy I met at work. It went ok until he told me that he has a demon that lives on his shoulder, and if he can picture someone’s face perfectly in his head after they meet, it meant they were evil. He said he could sorta remember mine.. I said I had to go, but he asked for a ride home. When we got to his house I dodged a kiss, and he still had the balls to look me in the eye, put a hand on my leg, and said we should have sex. It felt like he was trying to fucking hypnotize me. Dodged those calls for a while.”-CeladonToast
“It started when he said that any adult should be able to buy any type of gun. Machine guns and all. Reason? Farmers need to shoot them wild pigs. From there I tried to gently guide him to realize how insane that is. I kept the conversation pretty reasonable. But I was thinking that I was never going to talk to this guy again. It came to the point where I could tell he wasn’t listening to me, lights on no one home. I stared him down in silence for about 2 seconds and then zoomed my ass outta there. No goodbye. I left him there with our drinks/bill so he couldn’t follow me. At that point there was no reason to stay. He texted me on my way home and said, “had a good time we should try this again sometime”. I was surprised he didnt get the glaring hint. But also not too surprised because he obviously lacked any critical thinking skills.”-ghostofaflower
“I left* a date after he dumped his full beer over my head as “a joke.” *I didn’t leave the bar, because I was already out, looking cute (before he dumped his beer on me) and DTF. So I went solo for the rest of the night and wound up having mine with a different guy who was better looking than him anyways. His loss.”- supersarah1010