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These 28 #GrowingUpHispanic Tweets Are Too Real

Growing up Hispanic is just one of those things that not everyone get to enjoy. But for those of us who are on this wild rollercoaster, we know there is nothing better. Here are 28 tweets about #GrowingUpHispanic that are too real.

1. You could never stay at a friend’s house.

CREDIT: @RitoBabyy / Twitter

Didn’t matter who they were. If your parents didn’t know their parents, it was case closed. However, it was just limited to that. Our parents just liked saying no because they probably thought we were eating bad food, like pizza, for dinner.

2. They are so dramatic when you just want to sit down for a second.

CREDIT: @lowrainnnn / Twitter

You can help them clean all damn day but they are still going to hit you with the, “Nadie me aydua en este casa.” People wonder why we are so dramatic sometimes. Of they could spend one day at your house, they would figure it out.

3. Fake. Fruit.

CREDIT: @THEINFINITYWAR / Twitter

They were everywhere in the house. They were either magnets, wax fruit in a bowl, or plastic and hanging up in the kitchen. You definitely bit into more than one of these bad boys and realized too late that they were fake.

4. Your tías will always make you feel good on Facebook.

CREDIT: @pitury09 / Twitter

I doesn’t matter what you post. Generic post about finals? They wish you all the luck in the world. Sad post about an ex? They’ll quickly comfort you and get you over them. Sexy af #OOTD pic? They can’t get over how beautiful you are.

5. They assume everyone you talk to is a potential mate.

CREDIT: @BeingJoni / Twitter

Seriously, guys. Why are we not allowed to talk to anyone without our parents assuming that we are going to be dating them soon. Can’t we just have friends?

6. There were never cookies in this thing.

CREDIT: @D_Garza10 / Twitter

It was either a sewing kit or a sewing kit. You knew after a certain age not to stick you hands in a cookie box without making sure there were indeed cookies in the box.

7. Yelling = Civilized Conversation

CREDIT: @pancakepow / Twitter

It isn’t that we are mad at each other. Oh no. The opposite. We get louder the more into the conversation we get. While most people tend to speak faster when they get excited, we just get louder and louder and louder.

8. This man was better than the ice cream truck.

CREDIT: @sincerelyissa / Twitter

Not that we ever had to choose. We ate a both establishments equally. It’s just that we tend to be more excited about one than the other. This man is worth chasing. The ice cream truck is one that you know will be back.

9. Our parents swear that their death is the only reason we should cry.

CREDIT: @atltillerfuls / Twitter

Their favorite thing to say was that we will be out of tears before they die and we won’t be able to cry for them. They also told us not to cry for them when they die because who knows the real reason?

10. “Suavemente” is the most annoying and most entertaining song ever.

CREDIT: @Powerful / Twitter

You never want to hear it but once you do you can’t stop from dancing. Even if you are already outside in the car, you will stop, run back inside, and hit that dance floor harder than ever before.

11. Abuela was always there to have your back.

CREDIT: @ilianalopez_1 / Twitter

She loved to stand up for you. She would never let your mom and dad lay a finger on you. After all, you are her precious little grandchild and she can’t bare to think of anything bad happening to you. Then she’d turn around and slip you a little cash to save up.

12. Loud music early on a Saturday morning meant it was going to be a long day.

CREDIT: @spookyeladia / Twitter

You never wanted to hear Celia Cruz blaring on a Saturday morning. If you heard her singing her songs, you knew that the rest of the day was going to spent cleaning and trying to avoid cleaning. Those Saturdays will always stick with you for better or for worse.

Read: 9 Things Every Latino Who Grew Up With A Gringo Parent Will Understand

13. Cleaning was really the only thing our parents wanted from us.

CREDIT: @Mrs_Cr7 / Twitter

Doesn’t matter if your bored, tired, hungry, visiting, anything. If you were still breathing and had your eyes opened, you had time to clean. Sometimes you were cleaning right up until you fell asleep standing up leaning against the wall.

14. Kids birthday parties were for the adults to get hammered.

CREDIT: @danielaasabando / Twitter

Who else remembers their uncles getting lit when they were turning 9? It is a fond memory that every Latino has in their brain. Tbh, you are doing the same thing now at all the kids birthday parties you have to go to.

15. Everything is bilingual.

CREDIT: @DavidKalvinJr / Twitter

Literally everything is bilingual. You have to sing Happy Birthday twice and you have to watch the news in Spanish with English subtitles. It is great because now you know Spanish and it is definitely helping you as an adult.

16. Did we already cover how much they like for us to clean?

CREDIT: @tpgmichy / Twitter

See. It’s no joke. The fact that our parents always want us cleaning is so prevalent that it is one of the most universally Latino things in existence.

Read: These Latinos Are Dropping Some Amazing Jokes On Twitter And They Need To Be Acknowledged

17. Talking on the phone is always an hours-long ordeal.

CREDIT: @Johnny_Bravo32 / Twitter

It is never long because one person has a lot to tell you. it is long because you have to talk to everyone that is in that house. All your cousins, your aunt and uncle, the family dog, everyone.

18. VapoRub is the magic elixir.

CREDIT: @heteroalexual / Twitter

This is seriously a miracle. Got a cold? Ponte el Vicks. Got a broken heart? Same thing. Everything bad that happens to you can be cured with Vicks. It is crazy, but true.

19. 7-Up is also a miracle cure.

CREDIT: @lulunyy / Twitter

If it can’t be fixed with 7-Up and VapoRub, you were in serious trouble. Those two are the only things that will make your life better and get you healthy.

Read: Latinos Have Captured Some Of The Best Overheard Moments And These Tweets Prove It

20. Walter Mercado is the voice of reason.

CREDIT: @selena_olucero / Twitter

If Walter Mercado was against whatever it was that you were saying, then it wasn’t happening. Everyone would sit around the tv every night and listen to all of the wisdom this man had to offer. He is literally your guiding compass.

21. The chancla is the most dangerous weapon you know.

CREDIT: @oddecelluh / Twitter

These things were like heat seeking boomerangs and mami was a master with them. She never really threw them. She would kick her foot and it made it’s way right to you like magic. There are some mysteries we will never figure out.

22. These bags are the trash bags.

CREDIT: @BruceKromka / Twitter

Why waste money on something you were just going to throw away? Instead, what you do is just save up all of your grocery bags and use them. Plastic was for regular trash and paper for recycling. This is something you definitely do as an adult.

23. The oven is just extra storage.

CREDIT: @mellamojada / Twitter

You always had to check twice before turning on the oven because there was always stuff crammed in there. Unfortunately, you would realize too late sometimes so you had to juggle taking out out the stuff holding the uncooked dinner without dropping it.

24. These businesses had a different name.

CREDIT: @KiahnaVillanue1 / Twitter

Sure, we all say these now as a joke but you know exactly what they mean. It was the only way you ever heard your parents or grandparents say that you were not getting any “MacDonal.”

25. The kitchen was the hottest room in the house.

CREDIT: @mikeymarrero101 / Twitter

This is because mami was always cooking. Seriously. She cooked every meal and snack you ate growing up. Buying food on the go was a waste of money because why do that when there is stuff at the house.

26. You were never able to just get food on the way home.

CREDIT: @ANGEL7_O / Twitter

You spent more time looking at McDonalds from the car window than you spent in a McDonalds. Once you got to college you went all the time and mami definitely noticed. She just couldn’t help but to comment on your weight.

27. RBD was your life.

CREDIT: @giovannazambran / Twitter

You are singing the theme song in your head right now. Don’t lie. “Rebelde” is and will always be life. In fact, the rumor of more “Rebelde” coming soon probably made your week. Come through, Netflix!

28. Our parents had no sense of time.

CREDIT: @karinaax22 / Twitter

They always got lost in pointless conversations that lasted too long. like, damn. It doesn’t matter what that one aunt you don’t like wore to the baptism. Get over it.


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Julio Torres Gives Us An Update On What He And His Shapes Have Been Up To In Quarantine

Entertainment

Julio Torres Gives Us An Update On What He And His Shapes Have Been Up To In Quarantine

Paper / YouTube

Julio Torres is one of our favorite comedians. We first learned about him when he started to share his unique comedy on “The Late Show starring Jimmy Fallon.” Torres’s delivery is what gives him comedy that extra punch.

“I am Julio and this is what my shapes and I have been doing during the quarantine.”

Like all of us regular people, Julio Torres has been in quarantine to combat COVID-19. His quarantine included him being stuck with people he thought he knew well. Fortunately, Torres gave a little video to Paper Magazine to let us all know how he is doing in quarantine and what he and his shapes have been up to since the quarantine started.

The one shape that has been doing the most is Krisha.

Yes. That Krisha. According to Torres, she has really gone wild since she was forced into a quarantine. Not in a good or bad way. She is just really doing the most and it is all catching up with her. But don’t worry. Krisha is still filled with confidence. She has an OnlyFans page and is supposed to be donating the proceeds to charity. However, we are still in the dark about the charity.

“Krisha, you know, Krisha, true to her Scorpio nature, has been… I mean, I don’t want to generalize on all Scorpios, but she’s been waking up at around 2 p.m. and then being awake for a little bit,” Torres says. “Then taking a nap. Then waking up again and then taking another nap from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Then waking up again and going to bed for good at 5 in the morning. She hasn’t been removing her blue contacts lenses the whole time, which is causing her this infection I think. At first we thought that it was something serious but it was just an eye infection caused by her not moving her blue contact lenses which I didn’t even know that she wore till I was quarantined with her.”

To be fair, we all assumed a lot about Krisha when we saw her in the HBO special.

As for her love life, well, let’s just say that Krisha is not where she wants to be. Who would have expected that being in quarantine would be so detrimental to your love life? Seems Krisha might be the only person who didn’t realize that she would be lonelier than normal at this time.

“She has been DM’ing up a storm just like flirting all day, which is great, but then when they don’t respond quickly enough,” Torres says. “I can tell when her suitors are not responding quick enough because she’ll just like throw her phone. Then she’ll look at me and goes, ‘What?!’ So, that’s what Krisha’s been up to.”

READ: Here’s How Julio Torres Convinced Lin-Manuel Miranda To Play A Little Cactus On An HBO Special

These Stand-Up Routines Will Keep You Rolling With Culturally Relevant Laughter

Entertainment

These Stand-Up Routines Will Keep You Rolling With Culturally Relevant Laughter

matteolane / anjelahjohnson / Instagram

Laughter is the best medicine, right? For decades, there have been Latino comedians who have made us laugh because they just connect to us on a cultural level. We laugh because they are speaking directly to our experience and we see our family in their stories. Now, more than ever, we need them to keep us laughing. Here are some fun stand-up routines to give you a little jajaja.

Cristela Alonzo

Dating is a nightmare on its own. Dating someone who isn’t Latino can bring a whole slew of moments you’d never expect. Alonzo lets the rest of the world in on the trials and tribulations of finding fun outings with you date someone who isn’t Latino. You’ll laugh because it’s true.

Aida Rodriguez

Rodriguez goes right for the elephant in the room: racism in the Latino community. The comedian, who is Dominican and Puerto Rican with a Cuban stepfather, truly represents the Caribbean. As someone who represents the Caribbean, she knows the strifes that exist within the Latino community. Tbh, she isn’t wrong.

Julio Torres

Torres is one comedian who really delivers something unique and out-of-the-box. His “My Favorite Shapes” routine is one of the most inventive and comical. The young man just can’t wait to show us his favorite shapes and how they are truly more than just some old shapes. If you don’t know Torres, you should.

Matteo Lane

For the LGBTQ+ Latinos, Lane is a breath of fresh air. The Italian-Mexican comedian mixes both of his identities into his stand-up routines. Being a gay Latino comes with its own unique sets of challenges and observations along with the typical Latino experience. Imagine being able to handle a religious and brutally honest family, which you love, as a gay child or grandchild of immigrants.

George Lopez

If you prefer something a little more old-school, Lopez is a solid choice. The man was one of the first major Latino comedians that reach that mainstream success. He kept it real to in his stand-up routines when it came to describing his Mexican family.

Anjelah Johnson

Johnson, of MADTv’s Bon Qui Qui fame, gives you moments to remember with her comedy. You probably still quote the nail salon jokes with your friends. It was one of those early viral videos that really imprinted on us.

READ: Here Are Some Latino Comedians To Brighten Up Your Instagram Feed With Some Good Jajas