How Latino Parents Always Got Spooked Out During Halloween Because Of ‘Primer Impacto’
“Primer Impacto” is a staple TV program for most Latino families. Your parents were constantly scared by what loco things were happening in the world, but even more so around Halloween time. What if the Chupacabra wanted to suck your blood because you were out trick-or-treating?! Uh, sure Mom. Here are some ways your parents probably tried to get you to stay in on Halloween night when you were a kid. You can thank “Primer Impacto” for that.
Halloween has been and will always be the holiday of the devil.
Notice how no Latino kids are out today because our parents think some devil shit is gonna happen por que Halloween es del dablio 😂😂 😅
— gissel (@mmendezgg) November 1, 2015
Now, our parents aren’t against all holidays. On the contrary, love going all-out to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior. They just aren’t too excited about celebrating a holiday they feel is associated with evil. No padre, Halloween is more about the candy and costumes, depending on your age.
They always had so many suggestions about what you wore for the big night out.
— costumesetailer.com (@CostumesEtailer) September 26, 2018
Like, a nun is cool and all. We definitely respect them. However, you could never be a genie or a cheerleader for Halloween. It was too risque of an outfit. Mom prefer you dressing up for something more along the lines of a nun.
La Llorona was going to come out and get you.
La Llorona is my Halloween aesthetic because I also cry all the time
— 🦇MonsterMAshley🦇 (@AshleyMayfire55) October 1, 2018
Of course we all knew that La Llorona was used to keep us in check, somehow we really believed it around Halloween. Maybe it was because our parents were always so sure that she was spotted around that time of year. Literally, any missing child reported on “Primer Impacto” was taken by La Llorona.
El Chupacabra would be lurking in the bushes.
Omg, my grandma is watching Primer Impacto and they just mentioned the chupacabra. I'm time warped into the 90s.
— Detective Ferret (@bangishotyou) December 11, 2016
El Chupacabra basically kept “Primer Impacto” in business with its constant story features. That’s just a fact, okay? That show was likely the reason that our parents and abuela were convinced that it was going to come out to get us on All Hallow’s Eve.
You have to go in a group with your primos and hermanos for safety.
Lindo recuerdo de Halloween junto a mis primos hace muchos años. Yo soy el capitán Garfio (ahogado por mi máscara) y mi hermano Peter Pan 😂 pic.twitter.com/5DvocrsGf4
— Esteman (@estemanmusic) November 1, 2016
Going from house to house with your friends? Fingers crossed your parents were chill and let you do that. However, if they watched María Celeste Arrarás and Myrka Dellanos report on the OMG moments of that day then that was not the case. Instead of friends, you had to round up a group of your primos, tíos and siblings to come be your candy squad.
Your parents thought they were part of the TSA when reviewing your candy bag.
Score! I just found this bag of Halloween candy in the back of a closet. Most likely from 2005, but still in mint condition. I’m ready for you little goblins! 👻 pic.twitter.com/FlGk3zh1Od
— Rose Dunn (@RoseDunn06) September 23, 2018
Speaking of candy, good luck trying to eat even 80 percent of your candy stash. Our parents always worried that the candy would be laced with drugs or had a needle in it. You always had to wait a good half hour for them to examine your candy bag before you could even have your first bite of that Kit Kat bar.
You are going to have cavities after eating all that candy.
— RJ Andrews (@infowetrust) October 8, 2016
Alright, so your parents give you back your stash of candy but hold on for un segundo. Better pick your favorite treats because madre and padre believed eating all that candy would instantly give you 24 cavities by the next day. That means they would take the rest and hide in a way of rationing it out.