Forearms: they’re here to stay, so let’s talk about ‘em. Once revered by ancient civilizations as a sign of outer strength, now neglected like the calf muscles of the arm world. If you’re on a pursuit to achieve the perfect physique, don’t skip this muscle group just because they’re hard to train.
Hit those wrist gams and take your arm workout over the top!
1. Stronger Forearms = Stronger Grip…
You wanna bend the world into submission, don’t you? Then know that arm strength starts at the forearms.
2. Plus, Popeye Had ‘Em And He Was Awesome…
You’ll achieve the great look that animated black & white sailors made so famous back in the days when men yam what they yam and it’s all they could yam.
3. Bitches Love ‘Em. Big Time!
Imagine how many dogs you could walk at once if only you had more forearm strength. Lots.
4. On the Other Hand, If You Do Work Out You Forearms, Eventually Your Sleeves Won’t Fit Anymore.
And that doesn’t matter anyway because once your arms are poppin’ you won’t even wanna wear sleeves.
5. Plus, People Will Think You Only Got Big Forearms Because You’re A Chronic Masturbator.
You know what they say about guys with big forearms, don’t you? Oh, well if you already know then forget it. I won’t even go into it then.
6. Also, They Could Possibly Make Your Hands Look Tiny…
It’s the old “trim the bushes to make the tree look bigger” landscaper metaphor, but about your hands instead.
7. Oh, And Inevitably, Science Will Render Human Extremities Obsolete Anyway.
“Where we’re going, we won’t need arms!”
So, if you’re gonna target any particular muscle, it should be one that robots can never replace: your heart.
Technology hasn’t gotten there yet, but don’t even act like you’ll have a say in which body parts you’ll get to keep when humanity falls to machines. It’s our fault for creating them — our fault for needing them. How could we ever know that we were accidentally building our own unstoppable tin men replacements?
Unfortunately, heart disease is the number one killer of men in America…
And that’s disproportionately true for Latinos, who are at an even larger risk for heart disease because of high blood pressure and other factors that accompany having a pain in your chest and not being able to breathe.
So, unless you have to win the love of your estranged son by competing in an arm wrestling tournament, all you really need to do is some cardio!
Forearms, like everything else, will matter very little come judgement day. Run, little heart. Run! Run for your life!