Culture

14 Ways People Are Trying To Convince Themselves They’re Not Failing Cuaresma

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These 40 days and 40 nights are supposed to be a way for us to make sacrifices, but somehow people always find a way to cheat the system.

The first test comes on Ash Wednesday and every Friday when you’re not supposed to eat meat.

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There’s always that one person who tries to convince you this only means red meat.

People also get overly specific with what they’re giving up.

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I’m giving up chips, not Doritos.

Down to a T.

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Some give up alcohol, others just whisky because why not?

READ: Crazy Things Your Mom Will Do Because It’s Holy Week

Others think you’re not really failing if you know Jesus would do the same.

Sorry Jesus. #lentfail #iwastired #jesuswouldvestoppedforcoffeeiftherewasacoffeeshopinthedesert

A photo posted by Jennifer Puentes (@jenpuentes) on

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#jesuswouldvestoppedforcoffeeiftherewasacoffeeshopinthedesert – That last hashtag is 100% because we know for sure what Jesus would do.

And you can’t really blame yourself if food magically appears in front of your face. It’s like a sign from God.

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Plus, es pecado tirar la comida.

Or if a vendor accidentally sells you the wrong thing. ?

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With red meat.

And is it really your fault if the universe is working against you?

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The answer is no.

READ: Admit It, THIS Is The Most Fun Part Of Ash Wednesday

Isn’t Christianity about forgiveness anyway?

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Forgive me Lord for I’m *about* to sin.


Didn’t Jesus like bread?

Yes, most mistakes are forgiven and you have the opportunity to start fresh.

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Because temptation happens.

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But the most clever lent hack is probably this:

You can’t fail if you don’t try.

Have you tried cheating during Lent? Let us know by clicking the Facebook button below.

A Famous Catholic Priest In Brazil Was Shoved Off The Stage While Delivering A Homily On Live TV

Entertainment

A Famous Catholic Priest In Brazil Was Shoved Off The Stage While Delivering A Homily On Live TV

Site Famosando / YouTube

In downtown São Paulo, July 14th’s Sunday service didn’t go quite as planned. The Canção Nova Community sponsored a youth conference and invited a celebrity priest to serve the final mass. Brazil’s most famous padre, Father Marcelo Rossi, was giving a homily in front of 50,000 worshippers when a woman suddenly pushed him off stage. The 32-year-old woman’s name has not been released, and she was immediately arrested. The priest is known for being vehemently homophobic and misogynist and had reportedly told the crowd that fat women don’t go to heaven before being pushed off the stage.

A woman pushed a homophobic and misogynistic priest off stage on live national television.

Apparently, the woman was able to sneak past security and get on stage in the middle of his homily. In a few seconds flat, she excitedly shoved the elderly priest off the stage. 

O Dia later reported that “She said that she wanted to come in to talk to him and that she was scared the moment she saw the security guards running after her. It’s her version, but anyone who sees the pictures sees that there is none of it [security guards running after her]. She says she got scared and pushed him at a time when she kind of freaked out, lost control, but she had no intention [of hurting him], she just wanted to talk to him.”

She could be seen smiling after the push, and immediately jumped off the stage.

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Within a few minutes, the priest reportedly stood up and told the crowd, in Portuguese, that “the devil hates him” and “thanked Mary for deliverance.” There have been mixed reports about why she did it, along with mixed reactions.

The young audience watched in shock and then started to scream.

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Minutes after the incident, the priest was back on stage to finish la misa. Almost immediately, President Jair Bolsonaro tweeted out his well wishes for Rossi, saying, “All our solidarity with Father Marcelo Rossi. God looks [over] Brazil.”

The woman told reporters Monday that what happened was “between [Rossi] and I.”

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Her friends told police that she suffers from various mental disorders and that she was being chaperoned when she snuck away from the group. She told police that she has bipolar disorder. Rossi decided not to press charges given that he was protected by the Virgin Mary, and she was released that same night.

Brasileños everywhere were sharing their reactions–from horror to just pure laughter on social media. 

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Just so y’all know, Rossi is a Grammy-nominated “Latin singer,” and mega-producer of Christian music. He’s also a mega-homophobe. In 1998, he said, “A lot of ideas will change the day homosexuality is proven to be an illness.”

Given Rossi’s open, proud homophobia, some folks were applauding the woman’s actions.

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Just five years ago, he shared misinformation to his millions of followers, saying, “Sex between man causes pain, if something causes pain, it can’t be a good thing.”

We don’t know who said it first, but The Internet estaba chismosando for days about this version of the story.

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Unfortunately, the reason this rumor started spreading is rooted in body-shaming the mentally unwell woman, and mother of a 3-year-old. While feminist outlets clung to this story and ran, fortunately, Rossi has never said that.

Catholics started clapping back to the chismosas by pointing out the flaws in the story.

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Every version of the story we found says the priest said, “las gordas no van al cielo,” which wouldn’t make any sense. Rossi wouldn’t be speaking Spanish on a national broadcast when the vast majority of Brasileños speak Portuguese. This just didn’t happen, basta.

Others who feel spiritually traumatized by the Church felt that Rossi deserved the push.

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Of course, plenty of people from all sexualities, religious belief systems or none at all, came out as unable to condone assault of any kind. They argue that you can believe the Church needs to change to include equal opportunities for women, to stop hating on the LGBTQ+ community, and to stop supporting a culture of pedophilia, and also believe that assault is unacceptable. 

The Church released a statement saying, “The priest is well.”

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“He was attended by the medical staff at the event and presided over the celebration to the end.” Rossi himself said that he felt minor pain, but “that’s normal.” He didn’t break any bones, and will likely continue making religious pop and homophobic statements for a long, long time.

READ: Catholics Are Upset With Pope Francis For Donating Money To Help Migrants In Mexico

The Pope Is On Twitter And He Is Dropping A Lot Of Knowledge On All Of His Devoted Followers

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The Pope Is On Twitter And He Is Dropping A Lot Of Knowledge On All Of His Devoted Followers

@Pontifex / Twitter

So it’s a chill day at work and you’re sitting there scrolling through Twitter…when *gasp* you discover the Pope – yes, that Pope – has a Twitter account. Wait…what?! Is this for real? How did we not know this? Not only does he have a Twitter feed but he’s got like 18 million more followers than you do. Naturally, you start scrolling only to realize the Pope is woke af!

From calling out world leaders for their failure to secure peace in the world or to combat climate change to calling for the protection of the weak and poor among us – the Pope’s Twitter feed is where I go now for some serious feels.

He’s doling out some pretty sage advice.

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Okay, Pope Francis. I see you trying to get us all to get along. I feel like this is something my mom has said to me a lot when I was a kid. Like, be nice to your primos y hermanos because they are going to be with you in the future.

His tweets are literally things that our tías have been telling us for years.

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It is like she is writing his tweets or he is getting his inspo from her. I am 100 percent sure my tía told me this just last weekend when we were at dinner.

He basically put Trump on blast for his inhumane treatment of refugees and immigrants.

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It is known that the Pope and President Trump have a little feud going on. Mainly Trump has a feud and likes to react to things that the Pope says because he might feel like he is in the wrong, but who knows.

He even took a stand on climate change and put the blame on humanity.

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Our family isn’t in the business of discussing this but if they did, it would sound like this. We all know that our family loves to talk about people and how they aren’t behaving. It is their favorite pastime.

He also channels that one prima we all have…

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You know the one. She’s always telling you to let Jesus into your heart and trying to get you to go to church with her.

And apparently, Mary was the very first social influencer.

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There are so many major influencers out there but if the Pope gets behind you and calls you the most influential woman in history then that’s it – you are.

He knows how to help the gente spread the love.

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When the Pope speaks…people listen.

We can all stand to be reminded of this, am I right?

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The Pope tries to make peace between all sorts of groups of people and here he is using some of that meta-advice for something simple: listen to your family, friends, partners, co-workers and others. #ListeningSkills

And he throws down for the abuelos.

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Love you nana!

Mami has got to be following the Pope on Twitter.

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This is straight out of my mom’s mouth. Pero like how did she know the Pope was on Twitter before me…?

And you know your mom always pulled this out when there’s some family drama.

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Of course, she would never admit to having drama in our familia but when others came with chisme about theirs, this is totally the type of advice my mom would give to friends. Think Virginia de la Mora from Casa de las Flores.

This is some heavy advice but oh my god so true!

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Why didn’t I see this Tweet when I needed it most?! My tears irrigate life? Amazing!

Is it just me or is the Pope throwing shade at all the thots on social media?

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He does not hold back with what he thinks about the people. Honestly, if anyone on this planet should be allowed to judge, it is the man who gave his entire life to the church.

Alright…so maybe the Trump/Pope feud is a real thing?

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This is definitely some not-so-veiled shade towards the U.S. president and his tendency to lash out at anyone who disagrees with him.

Pretty sure we’re all thinking the same…

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But like he’s the Pope who leads a community of more than a billion people and can get away with calling out world leaders.

Sometimes you can’t sugarcoat the truth.

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If he isn’t channeling my mom every time she steps into my room…

If this isn’t mis papas trying to inspire me every time I start doubting what I’m doing with my life.

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Mijo, work hard and you can do anything you want to do!

READ: These 11 Tweets Perfectly Sum Up What Happened When The Pope Met Trump

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