If your mom is Mexican, you know what it’s like when you’re driving her around. It’s basically like riding around with an angry driving instructor who speaks Spanish. YouTuber SUPEReeeGO and Alejandro Arredondo break down all the familiar sayings and moves your mom makes when she’s in the passenger seat. Join them for a hilarious ride.
It may be true for some moms to think this day was created as an excuse to spend money on them, but in reality all they want is for you to call them or just spend time with them. So, since Mother’s Day is just around the corner you already know what your santa madre expects from you.
Your mom wants to be celebrated BIG. She gave you the gift of life so she expects for you to go out of your way to make her feel like the queen she is. She wants you to pick her up in that cool Toyota you drive, blast JuanGa on the speakers as you drive her to that packed restaurant she loves so much.
This sounds like no big deal, except when you remember that Latina moms are not just passengers, they are the captains of the ship and these are the 7 things they always do when they ride with you.
1. Complain that you never clean your car
It doesn’t matter if you just washed it, it’s still sucio. It doesn’t matter how hard you try it will never measure up to your mom’s cleaning standards.
2. Your music is always too loud
Your mom will never understand your love of rap or reggaeton and your constant need to listen to it so loud. According to her, all the music you listen to sounds exactly the same.
3. Fake break
Have you ever caught your mom pretending to step on the break while you drive? Moms are always super alert when you drive and according to them you are never careful. So their reflexes kick in every time they are in the passenger seat. Haven’t seen her doing it? Just look at her feet next time you approach a red light.
4. San Ramoncito
According to some Latina moms, God and all the santitos have a big part in the parking situation. So whenever you are looking for a parking spot, she will summon all the higher beings to make it happen. Who does your mom pray to? My mom has San Ramoncito: “San Ramoncito, búscame un lugarcito” (which BTW always works).
5. The jumping and the gasping
Latina moms are not very good at keeping their cool when you drive. If a car a mile ahead of you changes lanes, they’ll jump right out of their seats and yell “CUIDADO” or just gasp loud enough that you might have a micro heart attack. Don’t even waste your energy in asking her not to do it. It’s a mom thing, it’s in her DNA.
That beautiful and celestial being that is your mom could also win a cursing competition. She might behave like a perfect lady but once she hits the passenger seat, she becomes a cursing machine. She will curse in English and in Spanish. So you know that when you drive with mom, you roll the windows up and crank up the A/C.
7. The lucky charm
Your mom always wants to protect you. This is why the day she saw your Toyota for the first time she gave you a lucky charm to protect it. That charm is powerful, it has all it’s default powers that the universe has bestowed on it as well as all your mom’s love. So keep it always in your car.
What other things does your Latina mom do while riding in your car? Which are the things that drive you craziest?
Whatever she does, remember that she loves you more than anything, so go out of your way to make this Mother’s Day extra special for her.
Growing up, my mom knew more than all my doctors. At least that’s what she’d tell me back then, and still does to this day. She insists that American doctors only push pills they’re paid to prescribe, and that those pills valen pura madre. So she has always used her own style of medicine, much of it passed down to her from her own mom.
When doctors tell her she shouldn’t be messing with medicine, well, let’s just say she isn’t having it.
Every time I’ve gotten sick with anything from a cold to viral meningitis, my mom has come to the rescue with her Mexican mom remedies that somehow, and seemingly magically, got me back on my feet in no time.
There were, of course, the staples of Mexican medicine cabinets.
“Ponte Vicks en las patas y en el pecho. Y mas te vale que te pongas los calcetines!” Totally normal, right? Well, my mom also added banana leaves to the Vick’s foot wrap. Why? Because that’s what her mom did, and that’s reason enough.
Even then, she took it a bit further, making me eat a chunk of Vicks she would scoop out with her fingers and shove into my mouth.
CREDIT: My Strange Addiction/TLC
I have no idea where she heard that this works, but my stomach would feel weird for hours after. I’m also pretty sure this could have poisoned me. By the way, Vicks doesn’t taste good. Luckily, there was always caldo on the way to get the flavor out of my mouth.
Lemon also made its way from the kitchen to the medicine cabinet.
Along with gargling lemon for a sore throat, my mom would make me put it on my arm pits instead of deodorant, rub it on my elbows to get rid of dark patches or use it on my face when I broke out. Lemon fixes everything.
Fear of needles was not allowed in my house. If I acted scared, my mom basically called me a wimp.
Arrested Development / Fox
When my anginas were swollen or if I came down with a fever, my mom went to the pharmacy, bought a fresh pack of needles and the serum needed to cure me. When she came home, I knew what time it was.
CREDIT: Pulp Fiction/Miramax Films
And it was going to hurt.
There was no messing around. It was “bajate los pantalones, chamaca” and then…
It worked though, and fast! I rarely missed a school day.
And it went both ways. If she was sick, I was tasked with injecting her despite having zero medical training. Because I was a teenager.
To say stabbing a needle into my mom’s butt cheek made me nervous is an understatement.
But I didn’t have a choice. Mami was sick and I had to help, because she always did the same for me. Now as an adult, I’ve got it down. Well, better than when I was 16 at least.
“Tronando los cueritos” is another one of her go-to remedies.
While it sounds pretty gross, and sort of like a norteño song, tronando los cueritos meant pulling the skin on my back and stomach until it cracked. Yes, cracked. It’s not fun, but that was her cure for empacho, or a uncomfortable blockage in the stomach or intestines. Sexy, right? She’d cap it off with a teaspoon of olive oil and orange juice down the throat, which she said would unstick food stuck to my stomach. Again, sexy, right?
While my mom didn’t use lard in any of her cooking, she would mix it with sugar and slap it on my head if I got a bump.
It seemed to get the swelling down pretty quick too.
Trust though, she would rub it on while reminding me that’s what happens “por andar de vaga.”
“A ver si así aprendes.”
Burns happened in our house all the time. It’s unavoidable when most of your time is spent in the kitchen. That’s where mustard came in handy.
WCW / YouTube
The burn would kill, but the mustard soothed it every time.
My mom truly had a cure for anything, and it didn’t dawn on me until years later that some people might think her remedies were strange. They worked though, and I still use many of these years later.
And no matter how old I get, any time I’m sick, I know exactly what I want.