Umm, There’s A “Piñata Alternative” Called The Goodie Gusher
Piñatas at family parties are usually harmless fun. It normally looks something like this:
It starts with a young child taking gentle swipes at a big piñata. Then a few other kids make a few dents in the piñata, setting things up for the two-months-away-from-puberty primo who breaks it in one swing.
Sometimes, things can get a little dangerous…
Especially when drunk tíos get a little overzealous.
Well, someone created an alternative to the piñata. It’s called the… Goodie Gusher.
Here’s how it works. It’s essentially a tower with slots for keys. Kids line up and pull a key from the tower.
When one lucky kid pulls the magic key, the candy falls out. You know, like a piñata.
Check out the ad:
OK. A few observations. When this sensibly-dressed lady pulls out the Goodie Gusher, watch the kid on the bottom right.
He goes absolutely NUTS.
I would like to be this excited about *anything* in my life.
This kid looks intrigued… but look closely.
The little girl behind him clearly wants to take a stick and whack the $#!& out of the Goodie Gusher.
So, how much does it cost? It’s currently selling for $22.99 on Amazon.
The Goodie Gusher is made out of cardboard, but according to the item description, it’s supposed to be reusable.
One reviewer, Steven R Trevino, gave the Goodie Gusher a five-star review. But read his review closely and it becomes clear that his “positive” review is anything but:
The goodie gusher was the answer to my prayers! Now our children don’t even have to get any exercise what so ever and the hand eye coordination skills are almost a non factor. Children suck at everything anyway so the more we can simplify the hunter gatherer process and just hand them rewards with minimal effort the better. What a great way to get them prepared for life in modern America!
Sarcasm clearly detected.
After watching the ad for this “piñata alternative,” it should be safe to say there are going to be two reactions to this product. There will be people like the mom on the left, and people like the girl on the right giving that lady the side-eye.
READ: Donald Trump, Jenni Rivera and Kim K: Piñatería Rámirez’s Greatest Hits
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