Pokemon Go hysteria doesn’t seem to be diminishing just yet, and if it maintains even a fraction of its popularity for the next few months, you know who’s going to come knocking? Hollywood. Despite its lackluster track record of adpating video games into hit movies, you know there’s someone out there itching to cast Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt in a 2-hour Pokemon Go movie. Yawn. Why not just give the people what they want: a Pokemon TELENOVELA. Seriously, telenovelas last three months, not 120 minutes, and that’s the perfect amount of time to join Ash, Misty and Brock on a series of over-the-top adventures filled with battles, chisme and betrayal. “Cazadores De Pokemon y Corazones” sounds like a good title, right? So, who would we cast in the novela?
Let’s start with Team Rocket. The villain you love to hate, Jessie, would be played by “Rebelde” veteran Dulce María.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and Televisa
Gael García Bernal could make a triumphant return to telenovelas by playing James of Team Rocket.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and Warner Sogefilms
Who could bring Brock to life in a novela? Tyler Posey of “Teen Wolf” fame.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and MTV
Now we just have to teach him how to speak Spanish.
Misty would be played by Bella Thorne. You probably remember her from Disney Channel’s “Shake It Up.”
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokémon Company International and Warner Bros. Pictures
Ash Ketchum would be played by Xolo Mariduena.
CREDIT: The Pokémon Company International and @xolo_mariduena / Instagram
He’s far from being a household name, but Maridueña has the chops: he’s appeared in the critically-acclaimed TV series “Parenthood.”
It can’t be a true telenovela without a big name star. So, Professor Samuel Oak would be played by Saúl Lisazo.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and Telemundo
Now your mom would definitely watch along with you.
OK, we want some crossover appeal, so Officer Jenny would by played by Demi Lovato.
CREDIT: The Pokemon Company International and @ddlovato / Instagram
Who would play pink-haired Nurse Joy? Dascha Polanco. Done.
CREDIT: The Pokemon Company International and sheisdash / Instagram
And with such a star-studded cast, there’s no budget for special FX. What better person to play Pikachu in a pinch than Mexican lucha libre character Alushe?
CREDIT: The Pokemon Company International and CMLL
Hey, we said it was going to be a telenovela. We didn’t say it was going to be good.
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