Pokemon Go hysteria doesn’t seem to be diminishing just yet, and if it maintains even a fraction of its popularity for the next few months, you know who’s going to come knocking? Hollywood. Despite its lackluster track record of adpating video games into hit movies, you know there’s someone out there itching to cast Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt in a 2-hour Pokemon Go movie. Yawn. Why not just give the people what they want: a Pokemon TELENOVELA. Seriously, telenovelas last three months, not 120 minutes, and that’s the perfect amount of time to join Ash, Misty and Brock on a series of over-the-top adventures filled with battles, chisme and betrayal. “Cazadores De Pokemon y Corazones” sounds like a good title, right? So, who would we cast in the novela?
Let’s start with Team Rocket. The villain you love to hate, Jessie, would be played by “Rebelde” veteran Dulce María.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and Televisa
Gael García Bernal could make a triumphant return to telenovelas by playing James of Team Rocket.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and Warner Sogefilms
Who could bring Brock to life in a novela? Tyler Posey of “Teen Wolf” fame.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and MTV
Misty would be played by Bella Thorne. You probably remember her from Disney Channel’s “Shake It Up.”
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokémon Company International and Warner Bros. Pictures
Ash Ketchum would be played by Xolo Mariduena.
CREDIT: The Pokémon Company International and @xolo_mariduena / Instagram
He’s far from being a household name, but Maridueña has the chops: he’s appeared in the critically-acclaimed TV series “Parenthood.”
It can’t be a true telenovela without a big name star. So, Professor Samuel Oak would be played by Saúl Lisazo.
CREDIT: Credit: The Pokemon Company International and Telemundo
Now your mom would definitely watch along with you.
OK, we want some crossover appeal, so Officer Jenny would by played by Demi Lovato.
CREDIT: The Pokemon Company International and @ddlovato / Instagram
Who would play pink-haired Nurse Joy? Dascha Polanco. Done.
CREDIT: The Pokemon Company International and sheisdash / Instagram
And with such a star-studded cast, there’s no budget for special FX. What better person to play Pikachu in a pinch than Mexican lucha libre character Alushe?
CREDIT: The Pokemon Company International and CMLL
Hey, we said it was going to be a telenovela. We didn’t say it was going to be good.
It’s long been established that we have an undying love for telenovelas. In fact, they’ve taught us so many important life lessons over the years. While we will always be eternally grateful for what they’ve taught us, some lessons haven’t been as accurate as others. Especially when it comes to L-O-V-E.
We’re sad to say that the topic of amor is totally misrepresented in novelas. While that may make them all the more interesting, it also means that it’s misguided us once or twice in the love department. However, our loss is your gain because now we can share with you all the unrealistic love lessons we’ve learned from telenovelas. Hopefully, they will help guide you down the right path in your own adventures with romance.
1. Be careful who you’re kissing. It could be an evil twin.
Instagram / @videosguiquel
Have you ever noticed that telenovelas are just full of twins? Living in a world where almost everyone has an evil doppelganger has to make dating extra hard. What’s stopping them from switching places with the good twin whenever they want? Next time you go in for a kiss with your significant other, make sure to double check that it’s really them. Look for mysterious birthmarks or mustaches. Those are a dead giveaway for evil twins.
2. If you’re not feeling the relationship, you can always fake your own death.
Twitter / @theFlama
Have you ever been in a relationship and realized it was a mistake? You could do the grown-up thing and sit your significant other down to have an amicable breakup but where’s the drama in that. Telenovelas teach us that the proper way to approach this is to just completely ghost which can be pretty drastic if you ask us. If you DO follow telenovela advice and plan to fake your own death, don’t show up to your funeral. That’s a rookie mistake.
3. Love triangles are something you need to worry about.
Instagram / @novelalovers
Torn between two lovers? You might be in the middle of a novela and not even realize it. Telenovelas have taught us that at some point in our lives there will be two people passionately in love with us and we will have to choose between them. If you’re single now, this might give you some hope but we wouldn’t hold our breath. Real life usually isn’t as gracious with the love interests as novelas are.
4. Cheating is to be expected.
Twitter / @sin_tape
If you are stuck between two lovers, it’s no big deal. Novelas have taught us that cheating is just part of love. Hopefully, you don’t take this lesson to heart because cheating is actually a really gross thing to do. Additionally, being cheated on is the worst. This is one lesson we are happy to leave in the novelas.
5. All conflicts can be resolved with an intense kiss.
Instagram / @janethevirgin.cwcw
Chances are, if you rush up to a significant other during an argument and try to kiss them, things might not go as well as they do in the novelas. In these stories, a fiery kiss is all that is needed to end any conflict. In the real world, not so much. Use your mouth to talk it out before you move onto the smooching. Your relationship will work better that way.
6. There will always be a jealous former lover in the picture to mess things up.
Instagram / @orfaosdaterra.fc
Things are going perfect. You have someone who you love and who loves you back and the rest of your life is just as together as your romance. However, lurking in the shadows in them: that devious ex who is just waiting to trip up your happiness. Not to say this never happens in the real world but usually, we don’t have to live in a state of paranoia over our exes. That business belongs in the past and in the novelas.
7. Your makeup will always look flawless no matter what.
Twitter / @miranda_kevin
Have you just had an intense make-out session? We can’t tell because your makeup looks flawless. Just been dumped and have been crying your heart out? Your perfect face says otherwise. In telenovelas, ladies look flawless no matter what is happening in their lives. We would love this to be true because it would save a ton of time primping every morning but, alas, this is strictly a novela teaching.
8. A rich man and/or member of royalty is totally going to fall in love with you.
Twitter / @michinitwo
You are a poor girl who worked on your family’s alpaca farm and he is an undercover South America prince who falls in love with you. He whisks you away — despite objections from his family — and you live the rest of your life as a princess. Yeah right. If only it was that easy.
9. Be careful of that new novio. He might just be your long, lost half brother.
Twitter / @Alkhan_bh
Your parents had a whole life before they had you and who knows what they got up to during that time. If you go off of telenovelas, that cute guy you’ve been texting might just be your long, lost half brother. No amount of therapy can make you unsee his nudes so let’s thank goodness that real life isn’t as traumatic as novelas can be.
10. You’ll probably leave someone at the altar. That is if you don’t get left yourself.
Instagram / @fofoquente_
Marriage is a big deal but the chances that you’ll actually go through with your wedding is pretty low if you’re in a novela. Will you leave your fiance at the altar? Will they leave you? Maybe it will be a double runaway situation and neither of you will show. All we know is that weddings cost a lot of money so you might want to think it over before booking the DJ.
11. Prepare to be betrayed by your best friend.
Instagram / @alessandras_world
Your best friend may be your ride or die but they are the first person you should be suspicious of if you’re in a novela. Are they plotting against you? Trying to steal your man? Trying to steal your job? Pump the breaks on the paranoia. Hopefully, your real life isn’t as dramatic as a novela because you deserve a BFF you can trust.
12. There will be a controversial pregnancy.
Instagram / @aquenaopodiaamarr
If we were only following what we’ve learned from novelas, we’d expect a controversial pregnancy any moment now. Hopefully, we can avoid paternity tests, babies switched at birth and life-threatening pregnancies in our real life because novelas make that look way too stressful.
13. Love conquers all.
Instagram / @dannagarciaofans_
Not to be cynical but this is an important lesson that novelas get wrong. Sometimes love isn’t enough. For a relationship to work, it also takes compromise, communication, sacrifice, and understanding. Only then can love flourish and bloom the way we see it do on telenovelas. We all want that novela romance but, in the real world, it takes a little work. Still, it’s well worth it.
Oh, telenovelas. How we love them. Many of us grew up watching these exciting dramas unfurl on the television screen while our mamás or abuelas shushed us so they could hear their stories. Novelas taught us all about love, betrayal, hope and doing things just for the drama of it all. Some of us have even kept up the habit of following these tales now that we’re adults.
Where has the time gone? Not only have we grown, but the children who stared in these novelas are adults too. We began wondering what the novela child stars we grew up with have gotten up to in their adulthood.
It’s time to check in on a few of our favs and see the success and accomplishments that have followed them from their days of novelas.
Gael Garcia may be a regular face on the red carpet now but his beginnings are strictly novela. In 1989, he got his first role as “Peluche” on the novela “Teresa.” His next stint in 1992 landed him on “El Abuelo y Yo” as “Daniel.” From there, he’s had a series of compelling roles like “Ernesto Guevara de la Serna” in “The Motorcycle Diaries” and “Rodrigo De Souza” in “Mozart in the Jungle.” He even voiced “Hector” in Disney’s “Coco” back in 2017. The future is full for the star; he has even been cast as “Zorro” in his next big feature film.
Ludwika Paleta made her television debut back in 1989 in the drama “Carrusel.” From that moment, it was obvious she was a star. For her next role, she played “Alejandra” on the novela “El Abuelo y Yo.” Since then, Paleta has had recurring roles in over a dozen Mexican television shows. Additionally, the actress played Hollywood icon Zsa Zsa Gabor in the series “Rubirosa.” She is currently working on the drama “Mami, una Mujer Ideal” and has another series — “Modern Lovers” — coming out in October of 2019
Like Palate and Garica Bernal, Diego Luna also got his start on the novela “El Abuelo y Yo.” He would later have his big breakout role in 2001’s “Y Tu Mamá También” as “Tenoch Iturbide.” Roles like “Manolo” in “The Book of Life” and the mystery man in Katy Perry’s music video for “The One That Got Away” would later follow and keep him in the public eye. in 2016, he became a member of the “Star Wars” family with his performance in “Rogue One.” More recently, the actor has taken on more producing and directing positions and has appeared in Netflix’s original series “Narcos: Mexico.”
You might know her as the “Latin Queen of Pop,” but Thalía started as an un-credited teen actress on the Mexican drama “War of the Pastries.” In 1987, she would go on to a supporting role in “Pobre Señorita Limantour.” After that, Thalía would star in several other telenovelas while simultaneously pursuing her rapidly successful career in pop music. 1999 would see her staring in “Rosalind,” an extremely popular series that got her even more recognition for her acting chops. After this role, she would leave the telenovela world to focus more on her music. In 2013, Thalía would be rewarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame because of her contributions to music and entertainment.
Recognized by “People en Español” as the “Queen of the Telenovelas,” Lucero actually started back in the day on the popular children’s entertainment show “Alegrias de Mediodia.” In the series, the 13-year-old actress would sing and act in multiple skits; showcasing her multiple talents. Lucero would quickly move on to movies, starring in a total of 7 films along with several additional novelas over the years. Well-respected by her industry peers, the entertainer has hosted the Latin Grammys a total of 8 times. She also lends her talents to the yearly Teletón Mexico; hosting the event to raise donations for children with disabilities.
6. Belinda
Instagram / @belindapop
Called the “Princess of Latin Pop” by Billboard Music, Belinda got her start on the telenovela “Amigos x Siempre.” She was featured in a few other novelas before she debuted her 2003 album, “Belinda,” at the age of 13. This first album would go on to sell 2.5 million copies. Besides working on her booming music career, the star appeared in movies like “Baywatch” and “The Cheetah Girls 2.” Most recently, she’s enjoying a stint as a judge on “La Voz” — Mexico’s popular version of “The Voice.”
Since the age of 7, Paulina Rubio knew she wanted to be a singer. However, she first took a detour as an actress during her teen years. In 1988, the teen had a recurring role on “Pasión y Poder” before moving on to novelas like “Baila Conmigo” and “Pobre Niña Rica.” In 1992, Rubio released her first record, “La Chica Dorada;” shifting her focus more towards pursuing her dreams of music. In total, the star has released 11 studio albums. Since her noveala, she’s appeared as a judge on “La Voz Kids” and “The X Factor” as well as sold 15 million records worldwide.
Mexican singer, songwriter and actor Christopher von Uckermann started with a small role on “El Diario de Daniela” but soon moved on to bigger things. In 2000, he starred on “Amigos x Siempre” alongside Belinda. His later role as Diego Bustamante on “Rebelde” made him a well-known star among international audiences. He also pursued a music career as a member of the group RBD. After five years with the group, von Uckermann broke out as a solo musical act. He has continued to focus both on his music and acting careers. Since his novela days, he has released his first EP, La Revolución de los Ciegos, and has starred in influential series like “Kdabra” and “Diablero.”
Anahi started her acting career at the super young age of 2. She was a regular on “Chiquilladas” and would find herself acting in telenovelas for two decades to come. Throughout her childhood, she acted in different novelas like “Ángeles Sin Paraíso,” “Alondra” and “El Diario de Daniela.” The star also began her singing career at the age of 10 with the release of her first studio album. Anahí has a total of 6 albums and sings in Spanish, Portuguese, English, and Italian. She’s also one of the most followed Latinx artist on the internet. In fact, she was the first Mexican person to reach a million followers on Twitter. Recently, she’s been taking time to be a wife and mother but we’re sure we’ll see more from her soon.
Born into a Mexican show business dynasty, Angélica Vale started acting very early. After a few small roles in different telenovelas, she became the leading character on “Lupita” at only 8 years of age. She’s later acted in novelas like “Soñadoras” and “Amigas y Rivales'” which landed her critical acclaim from audiences and critics alike. However, her biggest role was still to come with her starring part in “La Fea Más Bella.” Vale is also a singer who has contributed music to 7 different albums. The entertainer is also a master impersonator and has done imitations of everyone from Shakira to Thalía to Laura León.
Share this story with all of your friends by tapping our little share buttons below!
