10 Ways Miamians Celebrate That Make The Rest Of The Country Go “WTF?”
Miamians love to celebrate everything: weddings, quinces, bat mitzvahs, hurricanes, end of tax season (sans arrests), breast enhancement surgeries, breast reduction surgeries… Just about any occasion can turn into a party faster than you can say “bottles, bro.” Besides blasting Pitbull (keep telling yourself you’re doing it ironically), here are a few rituals we do in the 305 that you might not see anywhere else in the U.S.A.
First, we bring out the cazuelas.
No, we aren’t cooking; it’s a Miami Heat championship win! Obviously.
And then head to Versailles (for literally any reason).
How do you celebrate your little cousin’s ballet recital finally being over? Or a friend visiting from out of town? A huge political win? The answer is always that magical hall of mirrors.
Horas Locas are reserved for our formal events.
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Credit: Used with permission from David Gottesman / Maloman Studios
A regular wedding in Miami isn’t pachanga enough for our taste. We need a party within a party. Preferably with its own theme, like Mardi Gras or A Venetian Ball or Being Really Loud.
And it’s not a party without cigar rollers.
Credit: Used with permission from David Gottesman / Maloman Studios Oh, you’ve seen cigars in a wedding goodie bag once? That’s cute. We have a mini factory going on outside.
Just about any song can result in a conga line.
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Credit: Comedy Central / Colbert News Hub We even hold the Guinness World Record for longest conga line (por supuesto).
…Or cause a merengue dance tunnel to form.
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Credit: Used with permission from David Gottesman / Maloman Studios
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Credit: Perry P. Perkins / burninlovebbq.com
Many cultures around the world roast pork for Noche Buena, but how about for baptisms? Straight A’s? Your grandmother’s 80th birthday? Nothing says “Feliz cumple, abuela; I hope you still have your teeth” like the crispy crunch of a pellejo you stole when your tío wasn’t looking.
But it’s never really a party until the croquetas arrive.
A photo posted by Islas Canarias Restaurant/Cafe (@islascanariasrestaurant) on
@IslasCanariasRestaurant / Instagram
Yeah, I’m going to need some pork in a tube while we wait for this pork in a box. Thanks.
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A photo posted by @floatopiamiami on
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Credit: @_erikwithak_ / @floatopiamiami / Instagram Like at Miami’s Floatopia events! Because when you live in a paradise for foodies, weather and people of all backgrounds, you always have a reason to celebrate.
Double points if you get gringo non-Miamians to jump in.
Having a house party? Time to put a pig in a box! Obviously:
Although some argue the same about pastelitos.
A photo posted by Ana Sofia Pelaez (@hungrysofia) on
If your office party only has cake, do you even want to work there?
But the biggest way to celebrate in the 305? Grabbing a floatie and heading to the beach.
Dale.
READ: You Couldn’t Go to a Family Party Without Hearing All This Sh*t From Mom
What other things do you as a Miamian (even just one at heart) do to pachanga? Mitú wants to know! Leave a comment below.
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