10 Ways Miamians Celebrate That Make The Rest Of The Country Go “WTF?”

JenniferLopezVEVO / YouTube

Miamians love to celebrate everything: weddings, quinces, bat mitzvahs, hurricanes, end of tax season (sans arrests), breast enhancement surgeries, breast reduction surgeries…  Just about any occasion can turn into a party faster than you can say “bottles, bro.” Besides blasting Pitbull (keep telling yourself you’re doing it ironically), here are a few rituals we do in the 305 that you might not see anywhere else in the U.S.A.

First, we bring out the cazuelas.

Credit: Jacob Katel / Miami New Times

No, we aren’t cooking; it’s a Miami Heat championship win! Obviously.

And then head to Versailles (for literally any reason).

Welcome home. ? ?: @livitaruiz

A photo posted by Versailles Restaurant (@versaillesmiami) on

Credit: @versaillesmiami / @livitaruiz / Instagram

How do you celebrate your little cousin’s ballet recital finally being over? Or a friend visiting from out of town? A huge political win? The answer is always that magical hall of mirrors.

Horas Locas are reserved for our formal events.

A regular wedding in Miami isn’t pachanga enough for our taste. We need a party within a party. Preferably with its own theme, like Mardi Gras or A Venetian Ball or Being Really Loud.

And it’s not a party without cigar rollers.

cigar hand roller
Credit: Used with permission from David Gottesman / Maloman Studios

Oh, you’ve seen cigars in a wedding goodie bag once? That’s cute. We have a mini factory going on outside.

Just about any song can result in a conga line.

Credit: Comedy Central / Colbert News Hub

We even hold the Guinness World Record for longest conga line (por supuesto).

…Or cause a merengue dance tunnel to form.

dance tunnelCredit: Used with permission from David Gottesman / Maloman Studios

Double points if you get gringo non-Miamians to jump in.

Having a house party? Time to put a pig in a box! Obviously:

Credit: Perry P. Perkins / burninlovebbq.com

Many cultures around the world roast pork for Noche Buena, but how about for baptisms? Straight A’s? Your grandmother’s 80th birthday? Nothing says “Feliz cumple, abuela; I hope you still have your teeth” like the crispy crunch of a pellejo you stole when your tío wasn’t looking.

But it’s never really a party until the croquetas arrive.

We hope you have a #feliz #Nochebuena! Be sure to pick up some of our #famous #croquetas tomorrow to take to #family, #friends and loved ones!

A photo posted by Islas Canarias Restaurant/Cafe (@islascanariasrestaurant) on

Yeah, I’m going to need some pork in a tube while we wait for this pork in a box. Thanks.

Although some argue the same about pastelitos.

Credit: @HungrySofia / Instagram

If your office party only has cake, do you even want to work there?

But the biggest way to celebrate in the 305? Grabbing a floatie and heading to the beach.

Credit: @_erikwithak_ / @floatopiamiami / Instagram

Like at Miami’s Floatopia events! Because when you live in a paradise for foodies, weather and people of all backgrounds, you always have a reason to celebrate.

pitbull dancingCredit: MTV.com


READ: You Couldn’t Go to a Family Party Without Hearing All This Sh*t From Mom

What other things do you as a Miamian (even just one at heart) do to pachanga? Mitú wants to know! Leave a comment below.

7 Cardi B Moments That Will Honestly Inspire You To Be A Better Person


7 Cardi B Moments That Will Honestly Inspire You To Be A Better Person

Cardi B is more than just a reality star or a funny girl on Instagram. She’s wise, hardworking and smart, and her insights about life will definitely inspire you to be a better person and reach your goals. Check it out. (And if you don’t like hearing strong language, ? ? ?):

When she made it clear she’s gotten to a place where she can buy her own bottles, thanks.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib

Shout out to the girls who prefer beer.

When she reminded you to drink your calcium.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib

Gracias, Cardi.

Because, really, life is all about moderation.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib

? ????

When she told you to work hard and keep your head up while others get written up on gossip sites.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib

Stay focused on your business while others get distracted and foolish.

When she reminded you that it’s OK to be honest about yourself.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib


And that, at the end of the day, we’ve got to support one another and keep our eyes on the goal.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib

Listen to her.

And, finally, when she hammered home the importance of being true to yourself.


Credit: Instagram / iamcardib

? Never change, Cardi. ?

Credit: VH1

READ: In Celebration Of Funny Latinas

Do you have a favorite Cardi B moment? Tell us!

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