politics

Tim Kaine Speaks Spanish, Y Qué?

@timkaine / Twitter

Hillary Clinton officially has her running mate, and his name is Tim Kaine. If you don’t know him, he is a senator from Virginia, he plays the harmonica, and he speaks Spanish. The media has blown its wad over this latter point. We get it. You need Latinos to win this election. Here’s the thing though: Speaking Spanish is not going to be the way to get Latinos fired up. That said, it doesn’t hurt, considering the rhetoric being spewed by the other side.

This is probably how you first reacted when you heard that Tim Kaine was going to be Hillary Clinton’s running mate.

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Credit: whatgiftoday / Tumblr

Who is this political cliché of an old, white man? Where’s the flavor and diversity? ¿Pero, por qué?

But then, during his announcement speech at Florida International University in Miami, Kaine busted out his español.

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Credit: eassmiquetal / Tumblr

Not too bad. His accent is definitely that of an old white man, but dude is fluent in our mother tongue. Like, that was kind of refreshing.

Like, legit, it is much appreciated to know that he is willing and able to reach out to the older members of our community. Imagine abuelita getting the chance to understand what the politician is saying without the need for translation.

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Credit: Broad City / Comedy Central / adultum / Tumblr

But, let’s make sure that we don’t think that just him speaking Spanish is going to get us on board, okay?

While Latinos were celebrating the Spanish like this

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Credit: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone / Warner Bros. / Skiovato23 / YouTube

…the media decided that his small amount of Spanish was worth this reaction.

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Credit: Doctor Who / Giphy

Can you, like, not?

What could it have been about that speech that would cause the media to lose its mind? Latinos were like:

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Credit: Combate Argentina / Giphy

There were replays, play-by-plays and a few analyses conducted, and all Latinos found was a man using some of his speech to speak Spanish. Which is cool and all, but definitely not worth all the hype.

Like, the only good thing about Kaine speaking Spanish is the meltdown of white, Republican commentators. They seriously cannot take the browning of America with any kind of grace.

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Credit: Juno Calypso / Giphy

We are pleased that there is someone in this election that speaks Spanish, but both parties have a pretty long way to go if they think they will secure the Latino vote. It takes more than throwing us a few lines in Spanish here and there.


READ: Here’s How Politicians Try (And Fail) To Win Over Latino Voters

Register to vote today by downloading the Latinos Vote app for iOS and Android. Our voice matters. #WeAreAmerica

In Case You Didn’t Know: the Macarena is a song about the worst day of some poor dude’s life.

bad hombres

In Case You Didn’t Know: the Macarena is a song about the worst day of some poor dude’s life.

Tunis ByNightt/Youtube/RCA/Legend/Universal Pictures

If you were born after 1993, you remember the cultural phenomenon known as “the Macarena.”

Youtube/RCA

Unless you’re suffering from some kind of head wound, you probably still know all the moves that go with that catchy Spanish dance song. Don’t be embarrassed, it got everyone — even Hillary Clinton. The entire nation was swept up harder than the floor en la cocina when Abuela thinks “good” company is coming over.

IMO, it was the biggest not-translated-from-Spanish hit since “Tequila” by the Champs.

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Pee-wee’s Big Adventure/Warner Bros.

For over two decades, its contagious rhythm and low difficulty have infected tacky weddings like a danceable version of the herpes virus. It reinvigorated America’s love for what it doesn’t understand and picked up where “the Electric Slide” left off–without even sounding like a ride for death row inmates at an execution-themed amusement park.

The song is a classic tale of ‘boy meets girl.’

La Bamba/Sony Pictures

It’s about a guy named Vitorino who has a girlfriend named Macarena. Stop me if you’ve heard this one–wait!

BUT there’s a catch!

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Vitorino has been drafted! Our boy’s goin’ pro—oh, no! He’s going to Minnesota—wait! It’s even worse than that! How could that even be?!

Vitorino gets drafted into the military!

Across the Universe/Revolution Studios

—oh, no!

Then, while he’s away at war, Macarena cheats on him!

Credit: RCA

These are the ACTUAL lyrics in the song:


“Now, come on. What was I supposed to do? He was out of town and his two friends were sooo fine!”

Basically, she participated in a devil’s three-way while her boyfriend was in the trenches protecting her right to do so.

With TWO of his “friends!”

How I Met Your Mother/CBS

—a couple of draft-dodging Judases!

What a f*cking nightmare?!

Saving Private Ryan/Amblin Entertainment

Imagine that, by some miracle, Vitorino isn’t dismembered or killed in battle, so he returns home, unscathed by the mental horrors of war. Then, a car blasting Los Del Rio on the radio picks him up from the airport. The catchy melody of haunting betrayal triggers previously dormant PTSD symptoms as he hears “the Macarena” for the first time…

Suddenly, he realizes why his girlfriend stopped responding to his letters and then either reenlists or hangs up his dancing shoes forever.

Married With Children/Fox

I started writing this piece because I woke up with the song stuck in my head. Now that it’s finished, I hope to finally be rid of it — unlike Vitorino — the vet who’s still at war with the soundtrack to the battle inside his broken heart.

Here Are The Major Protests Being Planned Across The Country To Protest Trump’s Inauguration

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Here Are The Major Protests Being Planned Across The Country To Protest Trump’s Inauguration

On January 20th, Donald Trump will officially be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States of America. Let that sink in for a second, because that is now our reality.

If just reading that makes your heart sink and your blood boil, then you’re probably in the majority of Americans who will not sit back in silence. Millions across the nation are resisting the incoming president’s inauguration by protesting that Trump is indeed “not our president.”

While Trump and his crew will be busy with their three-day inauguration festivities (minus any A-list talent), which includes a “welcome concert” on the 19th, an inaugural parade on the 20th, and a prayer service on the 21st, many others will be fighting back. Here’s how America will shout out against the incoming president.

Jan. 20th, Los Angeles

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CREDIT: Facebook

Organizers want everyone, especially Angelenos, to boycott everything that day, including work, school, shopping, etc. The mission for this march is to demand an “economy that works for all, a political system that is transparent and representative, an energy system that is sustainable for the long term, media which can be trusted to provide real and honest information, justice for oppressed communities, and united society.”

Jan. 20th, Washington D.C.

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CREDIT: Facebook

#DisruptJ20 is organizing several events all month, but the one on January 20th, which includes the Workers’ Collective and the Pittsburgh Student Solidarity Coalition, will have the highest attendance. Click here for more information.

Jan. 20th, Seattle

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CREDIT: Facebook

Kshama Sawant, a Seattle council member who’s also a socialist, is backing this protest and urging people to join her at this protest. “History demands that we immediately begin building mass peaceful resistance to Trump’s anti-worker, misogynist, anti-immigrant, and racist agenda.” Sawant said in a letter. Click here for more information.

Jan. 20th, Chicago

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CREDIT: Facebook

According to organizers, this will be a “peaceful, non-violent demonstration showing discontent toward the rhetoric that won the president-elect the election and continues to empower similar rhetoric and skewed thinking within groups of hateful people.”

Jan. 21st, Washington D.C.

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CREDIT: Facebook

This will probably be the most-attended march of the weekend. More than 200,000 people are expected to be in D.C. to express to the new administration and congress that women’s rights are human rights.

Jan. 21th, Los Angeles

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CREDIT: Facebook

If you can’t make it to D.C., there are various protests happening in other cities in conjunction with the Women’s March. The L.A. gathering will also be a march in support of equality and promote civil rights for every human.

There’s also a slew of walk-outs planned for colleges across the country. From Berkeley to Philadelphia, students are organizing their own major protests against Trump. Click here for more information on student protests.


READ: This Latina Immigrant Gave This Contest “A Shot” And Now Has Tickets To Trump’s Inauguration

Are you planning to protest Trump’s inauguration? Share this story and let us know how in the comments below.

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