Ted Cruz Makes Machine Gun Bacon Because What Else Were Firearms Made For?
Ted Cruz is a regular ol’ guy from Texas. And he wants to prove it to you. The Republican presidential hopeful took the IJReview on a trip to the firing range so he could show off one of his favorite recipes: machine gun bacon.
Wait… Machine gun bacon? How does that work?
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Well, first you go to the market and buy a few packs of bacon.
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Apparently three is the magic number.
Then you get a machine gun.
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You know, just like the one you’ve got chillin’ in your living room.
You wrap bacon around the barrel of the machine gun.
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This innovative technique will soon be copied by culinary schools across the world.
Add some aluminum foil…
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Just give it a good squeeze.
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Then you fire the machine gun.
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Does it matter if you hit the target?
Then you get this coil of delicious (?) bacon.
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Then you scrape it off and eat it.
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And there you have it. An truly efficient way to cook a single strip of bacon.
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Watch the full video here:
Credit: IJReview / YouTube
Would you try a strip of machine gun bacon? How does this make you feel about Ted Cruz? Tell us in the comments below.
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