Ted Cruz Makes Machine Gun Bacon Because What Else Were Firearms Made For?

Ted Cruz machine gun bacon

Ted Cruz is a regular ol’ guy from Texas. And he wants to prove it to you. The Republican presidential hopeful took the IJReview on a trip to the firing range so he could show off one of his favorite recipes: machine gun bacon.

Wait… Machine gun bacon? How does that work?

Credit: IJReview / YouTube

Well, first you go to the market and buy a few packs of bacon.


Apparently three is the magic number.

Then you get a machine gun.


You know, just like the one you’ve got chillin’ in your living room.

You wrap bacon around the barrel of the machine gun.


This innovative technique will soon be copied by culinary schools across the world.

Add some aluminum foil…


Just give it a good squeeze.

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Then you fire the machine gun.


Does it matter if you hit the target?

Then you get this coil of delicious (?) bacon.


Then you scrape it off and eat it.


And there you have it. An truly efficient way to cook a single strip of bacon.

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Watch the full video here:

Would you try a strip of machine gun bacon? How does this make you feel about Ted Cruz? Tell us in the comments below. 

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