politics

Oddly, Ted Cruz Telling A Kid He Deserves A Spanking Is The Most Likable Thing About Him

Credit: All Eilswej/YouTube

“You know, in my household, when a child behaves that way, they get a spanking.”

Ted Cruz — who may or may not be the Zodiac Killer and is definitely not the Devil himself — is facing backlash from both sides after telling a 12-year-old kid that he deserved a spanking during a campaign stop in Indiana. But, like, to Ted Cruz’s credit, the 12-year-old was kind of, sort of, being a d*ck.

Listen, OF COURSE corporal punishment/spanking kids is not an OK thing, and science overwhelmingly shows that spanking has long-term negative effects. BUUUUT the kid was kind of being an *sshole for yelling “you suck!” and “I don’t care!” at the candidate. Also, it’s possible that the pubescent heckler is a Donald Trump supporter, which means his parents probably also support Donald Trump, which means that he’s likely to grow up to be the kind of person who’d chalk things like “deport them all” in front of a college’s Latino cultural center (assuming that he goes to college in the first place, of course). Cruz is right: That’s just bad parenting.

If anything, this hilarious incident challenges the popularly held opinion that Cruz is a robot. It’s clear the heckler got under his skin, and the Texas Senator reacted accordingly. Cruz telling a kid he deserves a spanking is the biggest case for Cruz having a pulse to date. So, congrats, Ted. You’ll likely never convince America to vote for you, but you’ve at least convinced me that you’re capable of human emotion.

Again, spanking or physically striking a child is never OK and is despicable behavior, and this by no means is an endorsement of that type of discipline.*

*Even though I was spanked as a kid and I turned out to be a functional member of society (save for the random but frequent bouts of anger and crippling anxiety, of course).

READ: Ted Cruz’s Roommate Admits The GOP Candidate Is The Worst Possible College Roommate

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Ted Cruz Quits. Pray For Us All.

Politics

Ted Cruz Quits. Pray For Us All.

Credit: CNN/YouTube

Way To F*cking Go, America!

Ted Cruz announced that he is ending his presidential bid after losing Indiana badly to Donald Trump. As soon as the polls closed, Trump was announced the winner. On one hand, thank you heavens above for saving us from having to hear Cruz’s smug voice and endure one of the most unlikeable humans ever. On the flip side, this now means we still have six more months of Donald Trump and possibly more.

Before bowing out of the race, however, Cruz went into IDGAF mode after being asked to comment on Trump’s claim that his dad helped assassinate John F. Kennedy. Cruz rightfully lost his sh*t and just went HAM after Trump. Not surprising because at that point he had nothing left to lose. Like, you could tell he already knew he was going to lose Indiana, and with it, his chance at becoming the first Latino President.

Make no mistake, many believe Ted Cruz is an awful person. But many also believe the same of Trump, and there’s lots of evidence the dude really is a pathological liar. Despite his racist and sexist bullsh*t comments, we still can’t be sure whether he believes all of it, or if he just says what supporters want to hear.

Dammit, America. We expected more from you. And if the prospect of a Trump presidency didn’t scare you then, it sure as hell should now.  More than ever, your ass needs to register to vote, get the f*uck involved and show up at the damn polls Nov. 8.

READ: Oddly, Ted Cruz Telling A Kid He Deserves A Spanking Is The Most Likable Thing About Him

Register to vote today by downloading the Latinos Vote app for iOS and Android. Our voice matters. #WeAreAmerica

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