Not To Be Dramatic, Pero Like… Cubans Need To Have More Sex Or We’ll Go Extinct


Guys, please do not freak out, but some* projections say that Cubans could be dying out. That’s right: The most important and beautiful and cutest group of people on this planet could go the way of the majestic mastodon.


According to ForesightCuba, a project that gathers and presents information about the current state of Cuba in order to “define a vision for the future of Cuba,” demographic projections indicate that various factors, including low birth rate, may lead to the “extinction of the Cuban nation”:

If we do not introduce effective policies for young people to want to return to Cuba and start bearing children, the population of Cuba at the end of the century will be between 3.8 and 7.6 million. In addition between 42 and 60% of the population will be 60 and over.

If we get there, we will have consolidated the process of extinction of the Cuban nation. Process that started in 1959. (emphasis theirs)

Obviously, with the U.S. relaxing its trade embargo and easing travel restrictions to Cuba, this is all in a state of extreme flux. Things are changing and will continue to change for the island’s citizens in sweeping, major ways.

The report’s analysis, which openly takes a negative view of Fidel Castro’s regime, cites factors such as a pessimistic view of the future (and, thus, a disinclination to marry and have children), a lack of incentive and motivation to innovate under socialist rule, and deteriorating infrastructure as reasons that Cuba’s population is not replenishing.

The report is interesting not just because of its sort of ~*shockingly clickbaitastic*~ takeaway, but also because of its subtext: What, after all, defines the Cuban-ness at risk of going extinct?

If replenishing that population means, as the report suggests, encouraging young Cubans to “return” to the island and repopulate, wouldn’t that mean that there already exists a thriving and replenishing population of Cubans outside of Cuba? Does our Cuban-ness fade the longer we’re in the U.S.? And how can young Cubans “return” to a place many of us have never been to? And who is gonna pay me to “move back” and set up Mitú’s Havana outpost (please)?

READ: Hiiii Khloe, How’s Your Cuba Trip Going? Can We Chat About Something For A Sec?

My fellow Qban QTs: Did this inspire to go, like. Make lots of Cuban babies and make demand for Augustín Reyes skyrocket?

Let’s Be Honest, The Copa América Memes Are More Fun Than The Games


Let’s Be Honest, The Copa América Memes Are More Fun Than The Games

Aside from the games and the hilarious fan signs, there’s another rich source of entertainment at this year’s Copa América: the memes. If you haven’t been checking Twitter during (and after) matches here’s a quick recap of some of the stuff you may have missed.

After Chicharito scored to help Mexico secure a victory over Jamaica, Chichadios was resurrected…

Credit: @stephdcx3 / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: @stephdcx3 / Twitter

Along with San Memo Ochoa.

Credit: @stephdcx13 / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: @stephdcx13 / Twitter

Why San Memo? Because Guillermo Ochoa’s multiple saves vs. Jamaica reminded everyone of his unreal performance at the 2014 World Cup…

Credit: br_uk / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: br_uk / Twitter

Which led to memes like this one…


And this one.

Last week, USA’s loss to Colombia had many people wishing for this guy’s return…

But USA rebounded in style, defeating Costa Rica 4-0.

Uruguay is definitely the most “memed” team of the tourney, and it all began with the national anthem gaffe before Uruguay’s match with Mexico.

Credit: Marca / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: Marca / Twitter

ICYMI, Chile’s national anthem was mistakenly played instead of Uruguay’s national anthem.

After the internet had its fill of roasting Uruguay about their anthem…

Credit: Espectador810 / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: Espectador810 / Twitter

They moved on to celebrating their elimination from Copa América.

Credit: Deportes.yahoo.com
CREDIT: Credit: Deportes.yahoo.com

After Uruguayan coaches and players made some *salty* remarks after their loss to Mexico, Uruguay tried to get a W against Venezuela. But they ended up taking an L against the Vinotinto (and the Internet).

Credit: ActualidadRT / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: ActualidadRT / Twitter

Luis Suarez, who was injured and couldn’t play against Venezuela, threw a fit during the match, giving people lots of material. Like this…

Credit: Informasan / YouTube
CREDIT: Credit: Informasan / YouTube

And this.

Credit: t13.cl
CREDIT: Credit: t13.cl

And, of course, there were references to his infamous biting incident at the 2014 World Cup.

That’s it so far — if you’ve already seen these memes, here’s one that you can relate to:

Credit: BLUDeportes / Twitter
CREDIT: Credit: BLUDeportes / Twitter

READ: The Official Mitú Guide To Talking Trash About Players At Copa América

Which meme is your favorite? If there’s one we didn’t include, leave it in the comments below! And don’t forget to click on the share button below to send to your friends. 

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