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Christian Grey Can’t Get You Hot and Bothered Like these Latino Protagonists

E.L. James’ Grey series is a flaccid excuse for sexual fantasy.  For something to leave you on the brink of ecstasy, try these books and movies written and directed by Latinos.

Sex Love Repeat

By Alessandra Torre

Cropepd shot of a woman's mouth in the studio

Credit: iStock

Written for women that need not one, but two men to keep them satisfied. Are they enough?

Excerpt: “You are mine,” he grunts out, pumping into me, the length and level of his arousal brutal. “Mine,” he swears, as he releases my mouth and turns me around, pushing me forward as he yanks my legs back, one hand hard on my back, the other gripping my ass. He doesn’t slow the movement, giving me full, hard thrusts, my breasts bouncing from the top of my dress, the mirror above the sink giving me a full view of my slutdom. Paul, in worn jeans, a white tee-shirt, light hair mussed, mouth open, intensity over his face. His reflection pulls at my hair, tilting my head back, and I find his eyes on mine in the mirror.

Y Tu Mamá También

Directed by Alfonso Cuarón

Y tu mama tambien

Credit: Anhelo Producciones / vianney007 / Tumbler

There are drugs and adventures and sex — mostly sex — in this film. It’s the voraciously carnal kind of sex that leaves you gasping for breath.

Como Agua Para Chocolate

Film by Alfonso Arau / Novel by Laura Esquivel

Credit: Miramax / MovieClips / YouTube

For those in a couple, I dare you not to rip each other’s clothes off.  For those that are single, I dare you not to reach for you trusty vibrator by the time she reaches her hand between her thighs.

The Last Night I Spent with You

By Mayra Montero

iStock_000036472178_Large
Credit: iStock

Because sexual stalemates do not have to endure, long-time married couple Cecila and Fernando embark on a sexual adventure to the Caribbean to reignite desire and satiate fantasies.

Excerpt: Celia burst into laughter, her bare breasts trembled, and in a final maternal gesture she put her hand between my legs, found me with her fingers, and gave me a circular caress, free now of all desire, a grateful, gentle caress, like the faithful licking of an animal.

Las Edades de Lulú

Film directed by Bigas Luna / Novel by Almudena Grandes

The Ages of Lulu, 1990
Credit: The Ages of Lulú / Umbrella Entertainment

For those tied and bound by morality, Lulú takes you on an exploration of sexual freedom that teeters on perversion.

Excerpt: Me besó dos veces, en la cara interior del muslo izquierdo. Luego alargó la mano hacia la bandeja, cogió un bote de cristal de color miel, lo abrió y hundió dos dedos, el índice y el corazón de la mano derecha, en su interior. Era crema, una crema blanca, grasienta y perfumada. Rozó con sus dedos mis labios recién afeitados, depositando su contenido sobre la piel. Sentí un nuevo escalofrío, estaba helada. Entonces pensé que quedaba todavía mucho invierno y que los pelos tardarían en crecer. No iba a ser muy agradable. Mientras tanto, Pablo recopilaba tranquilamente todos los objetos que habían intervenido en la operación, devolviéndolos a la bandeja, que empujó a un lado. Después, también él se desplazó hacia mi derecha, desbloqueando el espejo que tenía delante. Mi sexo me pareció un montoncito de carne roja y abultada. A ambos lados de la grieta central, se extendían dos largos trazos blancos. La visión me recordó a Patricia, de bebé, cuando mamá le ponía bálsamo antes de cambiarle los pañales. Pablo me miraba y sonreía. –¿Te gustas? Estás preciosa… –¿No me la vas a extender? –No. Hazlo tú. Alargué la mano abierta, preguntándome qué sentiría después. Mis yemas tropezaron con la crema, que se había puesto blanda y tibia, y comenzaron a distribuirla arriba y abajo, moviéndose sobre la piel resbaladiza, lisa y desnuda, caliente, igual que las piernas en verano después de la cera, hasta hacer desaparecer por completo aquellas dos largas manchas blancas. Luego me resistí a abandonar. La tentación era demasiado fuerte, y dejé que mis dedos resbalaran hacia dentro, una vez, dos veces, sobre la carne hinchada y pegajosa. Pablo se acercó a mí, me metió un dedo con delicadeza, lo extrajo y lo llevo a mi boca.

What novels and movies by Latinos get your heart rate up? Tell us. We want to hear from you.

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These Christmas Movies Will Make Your Season Festive And Bright

Entertainment

These Christmas Movies Will Make Your Season Festive And Bright

overturefilms / YouTube

Christmas is here and it is time to get super festive, y’all. One of the best ways to get into the holiday spirit is by watching the movies that will take you to that place. Here are some Latino Christmas movies that will get you feeling all Christmas-y.

“Christmas Bounty”

WWE brings you this love story that follows a woman and her secret. The school teacher (Francia Raisa) is hiding her past as a bounty hunter when she gets pulled back in. Raisa’s character goes back to her hometown and has to work with her ex-boyfriend to catch a bounty that got away.

“This Christmas”

“This Christmas” is a family holiday movie with serious issues. A family’s matriarch assembles her family for the first time in four years. The holiday gathering is filled with stress and drama as strains show within the family. It is a real look at what happens when some families with secrets come together and confrontations happen.

“Holiday In Handcuffs”

This one is so wild it is worth a watch. Melissa Joan Hart plays a woman who is desperate to show her family that she is finally in love. How? Well, she kidnaps a man played by Mario Lopez and takes him to her family’s house for Christmas. We are talking felony kidnapping but it’s all cool because, as you would expect at Christmas, they fall in love.

“Happiest Season”

Hulu’s original movie “Happiest Season” is a lesbian Christmas love song that will melt your heart. Kristen Stewart plays a woman suckered into going to her girlfriend’s parents’ home for Christmas. But the catch is that her girlfriend isn’t out. Aubrey Plaza plays a woman jilted by Stewart’s girlfriend and helps the young woman navigate her way through this family.

“A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas”

Pulse pounding and hilarious. “A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas” is exactly what you would expect from the franchise. Danny Trejo plays Harold’s father-in-law who wants a perfect Christmas, something Harold is determined to make happen. When Kumar gets involved, things go sideways fast and the two friends are left figuring out how to save the holiday.

“Nothing Like The Holidays”

A Puerto Rican family gathers for what might be their last Christmas together. The family tries to make the most of the time together and, as you would expect, lessons are learned and familial bonds are made stronger. There is something so powerful about gathering during the holidays.

READ: We Sit Down With José Feliciano To Discuss the 50th Anniversary of His Christmas Masterpiece, ‘Feliz Navidad’

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Here Are The Shows And Movies We Couldn’t Get Enough Of In 2020

Entertainment

Here Are The Shows And Movies We Couldn’t Get Enough Of In 2020

Kanawa_Studio / Getty Images

This year has been a great time to get intimately acquainted with your apartment and home. It was also a time to get very familiar with what there is to watch on your streaming platforms. Here’s what we spent the year of quarantine binge watching.

“The Queen’s Gambit”

“The Queen’s Gambit” was one of the most popular shows of the year. The limited series was all about chess and a young woman’s journey to become the best in the world. She learns while in an orphanage and eventually starts to become a mastermind of chess. The show has brought a lot of attention to chess and more people than ever are interested in the board game. Anya Taylor-Joy as the main character is one of the best performances of the year.

“The Mandalorian”

“The Mandalorian” is the Star Wars show that everyone can’t stop talking about. Pedro Pascal brings the Latino essence to the show without even knowing it. The Star Wars universe is never-ending and this show proves that the fans will show up whenever there is anything Star Wars.

“Los Espookys”

The HBO series is giving you all of the dry, senseless humor you can stand. It is worth watching the show just to get some much needed laughs after this dumpster fire of a year. Let yourself be lost in the hilarity that is Julio Torres.

“Pose”

Afro-Latino queer ballroom culture takes center stage in the FX original show “Pose.” So much of queer culture is thanks to queer people of color and this show honors them. It is one of the best queer shows to ever hit a streaming platform and will open your eyes to a part of the queer community that is often ignored and overlooked.

“Happiest Season”

Another brilliant queer production, “Happiest Season” is all about lesbian love and coming out of the closet. Aubrey Plaza, while not a leading character, plays an important role in helping Abby and Harper’s relationship move to the next level. Harper is left trying to decide if it is worth coming out to her family during the holidays and the result is everything you hoped for.

“The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia”

“The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia” a young robotics genius is living her teenage life with all of the awkward moments you would expect. The show was definitely a sleeper but it makes the list because of the wonderful representation. It isn’t often that you see young Latinas in tech or robotics in media. It’s worth a watch just to fill you with all kinds of good feels.

READ: Netflix Is Bringing Back Seven Classic Black Sitcoms And They’re Already On My Binge List

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