If You Grew Up On The Border, Your Town Is Like The Olympics. Cristela Explains Why.
Cristela Alonzo is one funny woman. And smart, too! Recently, the stand-up comedian spoke to an audience at DePaul University and dropped some truth nuggets about Hispandering™, growing up in a border town, and the racial undertones of the border wall.
It all started out with Cristela calling out politicians for treating bordertowns like the Olympics.
“I’ve always said that in south Texas, politically, we’re like the Olympics. [Politicians will] come down, and they’ll do their campaigning, and they talk to us,” said Cristela, who come from San Juan, Texas. “They throw us candy and like, ‘Vote for us!’ and then they leave, and we never see them again.”
She also went after Hillary Clinton and her poorly thought out abuelita moment.
“The Hillary Clinton thing, months ago, the abuela,” Cristela started with a nervous smile on her face. “I don’t need you to be my abuela. I need you to show me that you want to be president. I don’t want my abuela to be president. Are you kidding? My abuela being president, [impersonating her abuela] ‘No pos well you tell Iraq that they’re grounded or I’m going to fucking hit them with the chancla.'” ?
It wasn’t all jokes, though. Cristela on how lack of health insurance really affects Latinos.
Her own mother died at a young age after having suffered multiple strokes. “We never knew that she had strokes because we couldn’t afford to go to the doctor,” Cristela told the silent crowd. “We had no health care.”
And you know she had a lot to say about the immigration conversation. She is from the border, after all.
“Last time I checked there were two countries that bordered the United States. You never hear anything about illegal Canadians coming into this country,” Cristela said. “Every time they talk about immigration, they show pictures of people who look like me. There are people for different countries that come here all the time.”
You can watch her full speech below. It’s so good!
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