politics

EXCLUSIVE! Here’s What Didn’t Make It Into Donald Trump’s Convention Speech

Donald Trump says a lot of things, but its the things he doesn’t say that scare us the most. Trump’s acceptance speech for presidential nominee leaked hours before he took the stage, but thanks to a reliable source at Mitú, we actually saw an earlier draft Trump planned to give.* The manifesto, which was scribbled in Trump’s favorite crayon shade, features a lot of points that were cut from his final performance. Here are a few examples of the edit:

Trump said this: “Homicides last year increased by 17 percent in America’s 50 largest cities. That’s the largest increase in 25 years.”

But he originally wrote this: Don’t feed Latinos after midnight, or they’ll turn into rapists and criminals!

Credit:  Donald Trump Speeches & Rallies Live 2016 / YouTube

I don’t know what’s more offensive: the ignorance or that he outright aped a plot point from “Gremlins.”

Trump said this: “Nearly 180,000 illegal immigrants with criminal records, ordered deported from our country, are tonight roaming free to threaten peaceful citizens.”

Credit: Donald Trump Speeches & Rallies Live 2016 / YouTube / Giphy

But he originally wrote this: First thing you wanna know about hippogriffs Latinos, is that they’re very proud creatures, very easily offended.

Credit: Donald Trump Speeches & Rallies Live 2016 / YouTube

In a week where plagiarism claims plagued the RNC, it’s probably better that Trump’s team pulled Hagrid’s words from his final speech.

Trump said this: I’m with you!

But he originally wrote this: I’m with you, unless you’re brown!

Credit: Donald Trump Speeches & Rallies Live 2016 / YouTube

I can’t even.

Trump said this: We are going to build a great border wall to stop illegal immigration!

Credit: Donald Trump Speeches & Rallies Live 2016 / YouTube

But he originally wrote this: I put up a wall around my emotions, and look how rational and sane I turned out!

Credit: Donald Trump Speeches & Rallies Live 2016 / YouTube

This sad piece of therapy reveals why Trump thinks walls are a good thing. I wonder why they made him take it out?

Trump said this: By ending catch-and-release on the border, we will stop the cycle of human smuggling and violence. Illegal border crossings will go down.

But he originally wrote this: Tacos are a false flag to distract you from their Reconquista!!!!! And then he drew this:

BLAR! #CrayonCramp #Art #Artwork #Drawing #Crayons #CrayonArt

A photo posted by Crayon Cramp (@crayoncramp) on

Credit: CrayonCamp / Instagram

We believe this is a picture of his running mate Mike Pence.

*This was a joke. Please don’t sue us, Donald Trump.

[b]

READ: Ted Cruz Gave Donald Trump The Middle Finger At His Own Convention And It Was Glorious

Register to vote today by downloading the Latinos Vote app for iOS and Android. Our voice matters. #WeAreAmerica

Trump Surrogate Salty AF Over Browning Of America

politics

Trump Surrogate Salty AF Over Browning Of America

CNN/Dora The Explorer/Nickelodeon/Omar Villegas/Mitu

On Saturday, the Trump camp continued its streak of saying thinly-veiled racist things.

Credit: Sarah Burris/YouTube

This time around, it was CNN talking head Scottie Nell Hughes, who told Wolf Blitzer that she didn’t like the fact that Tim Kaine, Hillary Clinton’s VP pick, spoke in Spanish at a rally in Miami.

“I didn’t have to get a translator for anything that was going on at the [Republican National Convention] this week,” she told Wolf Blitzer.

giphy (1)

Credit: ReactionGIFS/Giphy

O RLY?!? Then what language is Republican senator Ralph Alvarado speaking?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1TxiBvUi2s

Credit: News/YouTube

“I’m hoping I’m not going to have to start brushing up on my ‘Dora the Explorer’ to understand some of the speeches given this week,” she added, as if her initial blatant lie of a statement wasn’t racist enough.

Screen Shot 2016-07-25 at 12.11.26 PM
Credit: Dora the Explorer/Nickelodeon/Omar Villegas/we are mitu

Damn, what did Dora la Exploradora ever to do you?

Joke is on the haters, though. Here’s a truth bomb: The U.S. is becoming increasingly Latino, which means Spanish isn’t going anywhere.

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Credit: Check It Out! With Steve Brule/ Abso Lutely Productions/Pinterest

Trump or any of his surrogates can’t change the fact that the Latino population is growing, and it’s not just in Texas or California. There are now more Latinos in places like Atlanta, Wisconsin and North Carolina than ever before. And guess what? The United States now has more Spanish speakers than Spain itself.  You can’t stop us, fam, so you best get used to it.


READ: This White Supremacist Was Inspired By Donald Trump To Run For National Office

Register to vote today by downloading the Latinos Vote app for iOS and Android. Our voice matters. #WeAreAmerica

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