Erik Estrada isn’t a cop, but he’s played one on television. Wait, that’s not entirely true. This past week, 67-year-old Estrada took the oath to protect and serve the small town of St. Anthony, Idaho. While we applaud his desire to give back to the community, his new career choice makes us wonder: What other roles have Latinos played that could also become their profession? Here are a few possibilities.
Internet boyfriend Oscar Isaac played starfighter pilot Poe Dameron in the latest “Star Wars” movie, and that’s reason enough for him to become a pilot in real life. Sure, he needs training and a license, and probably a whole bunch of other qualifications, but the dude already proved he has what it takes to fight the Empire.
On “Parks and Recreation,” Aubrey’s character, April Ludgate, thought about becoming a veterinarian for at least a couple of episodes. Maybe now that the show is no longer standing in her way, Plaza can actually pursue this as a legit career.
It’s hard to tell where Trejo ends and his acting begins. The guy is a professional badass already, so whether he finds gainful employment as an actual badass or continues to act like a badass, he’ll be a badass either way.
Gomez’s role as president of Phi Lambda in “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising” was great, and that’s why she should pursue an actual career in college politics. Let’s be honest, it’s only a matter of time before Selena becomes the first Latina president of the U.S., so this job is the perfect warmup to meeting foreign dignitaries and heads of state.
If you haven’t seen “Ash vs Evil Dead,” do yourself a favor and check out these two monster slayers in action. While technically they hunt the undead (zombies with attitude), the undead don’t technically exist IRL. But ghosts do exist, and we’d feel much safer if these two were protecting all of us.
Well, this one hits a little too close to home. Hollywood saddles most Latin@ actors with these kinds of minimum wage roles, so while it’s a high-profile acting gig, it’s basically the retail role of television. But America’s acting on the show is on point enough for me to wish she was my real boss.
Savory or spicy? A subtle crisp or an obnoxious attention-seeking crunch? There’s a chip for every personality, which is why we thought we’d go ahead and pick out which one of our favorite brands of Mexican chips can best be connected to each sign of the Zodiac.
Now, which carby delight best describe you in chip form? Apologies if we seem a little salty with these, it’s only because we’re comparing people to convenience store junk food. So, which one are you, my sweet little snacks?
Aries & Sabritones
An Aries loves a kick as much as they have to be the most interesting person in the room. Since these Sabritones are unlike your usual crunchy chip situation with their puffed out egos – sorry, Aries 😉 – and their commanding fun but spicy flavor, you’ll fight whoever says these chips aren’t the bomb the same way you’d go after anyone who doesn’t respect your authority.
Taurus & Santitas
Loyal and reliable, Taurus. What’s more you than the chip that’s always $2 because it’s friggin’ printed on the bag? You’re consistent, no matter what grocery store we may find you in, and just like this family-sized bag, you’re always full of hard work.
Even if that hard work is eating the entire bag – something we’re not afraid of taking on single-handedly. Sharing? No thanks. Taureans are a one mate type of sign, anyway! This bag is mine!
Gemini & Doritos Tapatío
Talkative Geminis are also known for their love of food. I guess it’s the only way they can keep their energy up for all that gabbing! More often, they’re known for their particular love of junk food, whether it be sweet or salty, which is why Doritos con Tapatío is very, very Gemini.
Two-sided, much like you! Is it a bag of Doritos or a bottle of Tapatío?! When you can’t make up your mind, porque no los dos?
Cancer & Tostito’s Scoops
Cancers are all-around good people. Hard-working, nice, and imaginative. The Tostito’s scoops of human beings. You’re consistent with your flavor and universal in your skills, even if those skills mean scooping up all that salsa.
Probably a Cancer came up with the idea to turn a tortilla chip into a scoop, anyway. Nice work! You’re also a true friend, and true friends bring the queso with that bag of chips. Mind picking some up on the way over? Thanks!
Leo & Adobadas Flavored Sabritas
Wow, a chip made to taste like a spicy pork dish. Pretty ostentatious. Right, Leo? Kind of just as attention-seeking as you are! The flavor of this chip packs a punch and is a fun new take on the otherwise bland and greasy flavors of Lays chips.
Yeah, these aren’t even tortilla chips! Sounds as flaky as you, lion! Umm, kiddiiiiiing. But not really.
Virgo & Mission Original Tortilla Strips
You’re analytical in your choices to make sure you’re making the best possible one, so obviously you’d go with the chip that has…a mission. Ugh, sorry. Couldn’t help it. At the same time, you’re also shy with your choices, so you’d go with an easy, seemingly dependable option.
You’re all work, and these chips mean simple, tortilla chip business with no frills. Congrats, you’re as basic as the most common grocery store chip brand barbecuing dads love!
Libra & R.W. Garcia Veggie MixtBag
As a Libra, you’re diplomatic and fair-minded. “Why not include all vegetable flavors?!” you’d ask, weighing them all out on your little chip scales.
With that commitment to cooperation, you’re also indecisive, so a bag of mixed flavors is basically the best way to sum you up. I guess thank you for standing up for other vegetables being represented in chip form? You can eat these, we’ll pass.
Scorpio & Takis Fuego
Just like Takis Fuegos, Scorpios aren’t for the faint of heart. These chips are for the passionate, the intelligent, the fearless. Don’t even think about offering a scorpion some lame Lay’s. Who the hell do you take them for?
No, a Scorpio is someone who ignites the snack flame of your heart and the burn in your butt soon to follow. But remember, you ain’t fancy. You think you’re hot shit, but in reality, we can still find you at any neighborhood 7-Eleven, scorp. Thanks for the wild ride!
Sagittarius & Chicharrones
Like the beloved baked skin of a pig, you’re generous, well-traveled, and funny, Sag. I mean, who’s idea was it to eat the pigskin? And why does it taste good? Eating the pigskin is like being too lazy to wait to get to the rest of the pig so they were like, screw it! Just eat the first layer you hit!
Basically the same as your impatience, Sag. Good thing there’s no such as horse chips or you’d be in trouble. You’re also generous and love to share, just like the folks who eat chicharrones instead of regular chips. They’re a special breed.
Capricorn & Mission Original Tortilla Strips
You’re responsible and disciplined, Capricorn, and just like these bland-ass chips at every grocery store chain, you’re at least consistent in being there and probably being on sale. That being said, who do you think you in that fancy-ass bag pretending like you’re a better chip than you are?
You really think you’re the epitome of talent, erm, I mean chip, but just because you work hard to get your ass in every Walmart doesn’t mean you’re the best, honey. You do your job, though. We can’t deny that.
Aquarius & Yuca Chips
Hey, Aquarius! Um, yeah, you. You’re the undisputed weirdo of the zodiac – the one who’s a little off in all the best ways. You’re spontaneous, quirky, and authentically YOU at all times. So who says you’d be like any old run-of-the-mill tortilla chip? Please.
When everyone else tries to push the status quo, you’re already on another planet. That’s why yuca chips are you in a nutshell, err, I mean, a bag. A unique flavor, just like you. You may not be for everybody, but who wants to be liked by everyone? That’s just exhausting.
Pisces & Mission Organics Blue Corn
Wow, it’s blue. As in the color of water. Because you’re a fish. Get it? Blue corn chips, just like you, are healthier and therefore wiser. Wow, you’re just SO much more in tune with the world, Pisces. You’re so artistic you deserve a chip as ingenious as you.
Don’t get all victimized when people don’t feel like eating your whole bag, though. Not everyone is as deep as you and your subtle taste of sea salt. Isn’t it ironic that this chip also looks like a teardrop? Enjoy the crunch, emotional Pisces.