From Machete To High School Principal: Why Danny Trejo Should Run Your School


Don’t trifle with Danny Trejo. As we previously reported, Badass himself had some choice words for school administrators after a 40-person brawl broke out at a California high school. Seeing Trejo step up like that begs the question: What would it be like if he were to take on a “Stand And Deliver”-style approach to running his own school? If the characters he’s played in movies are any indication, Trejo’s first day as principal would bring about an unorthodox, but effective style of principaling.

Day 1: Principal Trejo pulls up to his assigned parking spot. Sees someone else is parked in it.

Danny Trejo bike

You just f*cked with the wrong principal.

Trejo’s teacher’s lounge relaxes its policy on certain things.

Trejos Teacher's Loung

Drinking is encouraged. Shirts are optional.

Trejo finds the drunkest, most washed up teacher he can find and makes an example out of him. 

Happy Birthday to my Friend #StevenSeagal! #Badass

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Teachers begin to get ink, showing their allegiance to Principal Trejo.

Principal Trejo looks at the school’s finances. He sees that too much money is devoted to their baseball program.

Hi. You're Rick, right? I'm Machete @thewalkingdeadamc

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Trejo sells the baseball bats to local vigilantes and uses the money to fund after-school programs.

Trejo deputizes his hall monitors. They stop wearing sashes in favor of bandoliers full of school supplies.

They function like pocket protectors, but more badass.

Problem students no longer get the paddle.


Principal Trejo has other tools at his disposal.

Defiant student punks Trejo. Says Danny doesn’t have the huevos to use that machete.


A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Principal Trejo tells the student body he’ll teach them simple subtraction techniques, all of which involve cutting off the offending student’s body parts.

Another student pulls out a phone and begins live tweeting the exchange between Principal Trejo and the problem student. 


Trejo doesn’t text, and neither will you.

Under Principal Trejo’s authority, parent-teacher conferences begin to yield results. 

Brady Bunch Cropped

The school’s GPA is raised by an entire letter grade.

To show their respect for Principal Trejo, students and faculty throw him a surprise party. 

Thanks for all the Birthday Wishes

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Happy 72nd birthday, Principal Trejo!

READ: Danny Trejo Is Running For Office And Here’s Why You Should Vote For Him

Would Danny Trejo make a great principal? Mitú wants to know. Leave a comment below!

Makeup Struggles Every Latina Has Experienced


Makeup Struggles Every Latina Has Experienced

Instagram / The Lipstick Coven

Makeup is probablyyyyyyyy the most amazing thing in the world. I mean, it’s a fact, we know this. But it’s also a source of so many problems. So let’s take off our eyebrows and vent, together…

If you love makeup, you know that…

Finding “The One” really means “Finding The One Who’ll Wait As Long As It Takes For Me To Finish My Damn Brows, Damn.”

Credit: Instagram / keep_calm_and_kari_on

And it’s not that Latinas naturally have an attitude; we just happen to have a lot on our minds!

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#makeupstruggles #clevelandmakeup #clevelandmua

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Credit: Instagram / tricialynncrane

Just wrestling with wings can take years off your life.

Credit: Instagram / theinstituteofmakeup

And you know that sunlight can be the rudest damn H del P in the world.

Credit: Instagram / shardi_niumata

But who cares, because you embrace all your “looks.”

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Credit: Instagram / jen_ny69

You want to take good care of your skin, but…


Credit: Instagram / es.mivida

And can we talk about the fact that companies seem to think that 1) Latinas all have the same skin tone and 2) we’re all yellowy-orange?

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#nikkitutorials #makeupproblems

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Credit: Instagram / snow_white_maiden

The less said about the liquid lipstick struggle, the better.

Credit: Instagram / maitecorley

And this is all of us when we get mascara on our nose:

Credit: Instagram / skelotim

Oh, and then there’s the struggle of trying to follow tutorials and Pinterest hacks.

Credit: Instagram / makeupinfatuated

Not that there aren’t some, like. Good parts…

Like when you woke up the whole neighborhood with screams of joy when this happened:


Credit: Instagram / _mflores91

But even when our makeup struggles make us wanna cry…


Credit: Instagram / thelipstickcoven

…we’ll always have this Ancient Latina Blessing, passed down from our ancestors:


Credit: Instagram / the_esthetician_diaries

READ: Things Latinas With Perfect Eyebrows Know To Be True

Can you think of any other makeup struggles? Vent here; it’s a safe, well-contoured space.

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