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From Machete To High School Principal: Why Danny Trejo Should Run Your School

Don’t trifle with Danny Trejo. As we previously reported, Badass himself had some choice words for school administrators after a 40-person brawl broke out at a California high school. Seeing Trejo step up like that begs the question: What would it be like if he were to take on a “Stand And Deliver”-style approach to running his own school? If the characters he’s played in movies are any indication, Trejo’s first day as principal would bring about an unorthodox, but effective style of principaling.

Day 1: Principal Trejo pulls up to his assigned parking spot. Sees someone else is parked in it.

Trejo’s teacher’s lounge relaxes its policy on certain things.

CREDIT: TRAINVEVO / YOUTUBE

Drinking is encouraged. Shirts are optional.

Trejo finds the drunkest, most washed up teacher he can find and makes an example out of him. 

Principal Trejo looks at the school’s finances. He sees that too much money is devoted to their baseball program.

Trejo sells the baseball bats to local vigilantes and uses the money to fund after-school programs.

Trejo deputizes his hall monitors. They stop wearing sashes in favor of bandoliers full of school supplies.

Problem students no longer get the paddle.

Defiant student punks Trejo. Says Danny doesn’t have the huevos to use that machete.

Another student pulls out a phone and begins live tweeting the exchange between Principal Trejo and the problem student. 

CREDIT: MOVIECLIPS TRAILERS / GIPHY /  YOUTUBE

Trejo doesn’t text, and neither will you.

Under Principal Trejo’s authority, parent-teacher conferences begin to yield results. 

To show their respect for Principal Trejo, students and faculty throw him a surprise party.