From Machete To High School Principal: Why Danny Trejo Should Run Your School

credit: @officialdannytrejo/Instagram

Don’t trifle with Danny Trejo. As we previously reported, Badass himself had some choice words for school administrators after a 40-person brawl broke out at a California high school. Seeing Trejo step up like that begs the question: What would it be like if he were to take on a “Stand And Deliver”-style approach to running his own school? If the characters he’s played in movies are any indication, Trejo’s first day as principal would bring about an unorthodox, but effective style of principaling.

Day 1: Principal Trejo pulls up to his assigned parking spot. Sees someone else is parked in it.

Danny Trejo bike

You just f*cked with the wrong principal.

Trejo’s teacher’s lounge relaxes its policy on certain things.

Trejos Teacher's Loung
CREDIT: TRAINVEVO / YOUTUBE

Drinking is encouraged. Shirts are optional.

Trejo finds the drunkest, most washed up teacher he can find and makes an example out of him. 

Happy Birthday to my Friend #StevenSeagal! #Badass

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Teachers begin to get ink, showing their allegiance to Principal Trejo.

Principal Trejo looks at the school’s finances. He sees that too much money is devoted to their baseball program.

Hi. You're Rick, right? I'm Machete @thewalkingdeadamc

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Trejo sells the baseball bats to local vigilantes and uses the money to fund after-school programs.

Trejo deputizes his hall monitors. They stop wearing sashes in favor of bandoliers full of school supplies.

They function like pocket protectors, but more badass.

Problem students no longer get the paddle.

Danny-Trejo-as-Machete-machete-35719564-2000-1333

Principal Trejo has other tools at his disposal.

Defiant student punks Trejo. Says Danny doesn’t have the huevos to use that machete.

#dannytrejo

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Principal Trejo tells the student body he’ll teach them simple subtraction techniques, all of which involve cutting off the offending student’s body parts.

Another student pulls out a phone and begins live tweeting the exchange between Principal Trejo and the problem student. 

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CREDIT: MOVIECLIPS TRAILERS / GIPHY /  YOUTUBE

Trejo doesn’t text, and neither will you.

Under Principal Trejo’s authority, parent-teacher conferences begin to yield results. 

Brady Bunch Cropped

The school’s GPA is raised by an entire letter grade.

To show their respect for Principal Trejo, students and faculty throw him a surprise party. 

Thanks for all the Birthday Wishes

A photo posted by Danny Trejo (@officialdannytrejo) on

Happy 72nd birthday, Principal Trejo!

READ: Danny Trejo Is Running For Office And Here’s Why You Should Vote For Him

Would Danny Trejo make a great principal? Mitú wants to know. Leave a comment below!

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