Y’all. If you’ve checked Twitter lately, you more than likely saw tweet after tweet with the hashtag #CruzSexScandal blowing up your feed. The reason behind the hashtag is a story that ran in the National Enquirer. It claims Ted Cruz had affairs with 5 different women — FIVE. On the one hand, it’s the National Enquirer we’re talking about, but on the other, they broke the John Edwards sex scandal story so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Regardless of the legitimacy of the story, the responses to the hashtag have been magical.
The hashtag has led to depression for a lot of Twitter users.
There's depression, and then there's " #TedCruz is getting laid more than you" depression
— Scruffy (@dixonshuman) March 25, 2016
Credit: @dixonshuman / Twitter
Others are just straight up confused.
When you've just found out Ted Cruz has had five mistresses. #cruzsexscandal pic.twitter.com/SzQAWyRn1h
— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) March 25, 2016
Credit: @Crutnacker / Twitter
There has also been serious “shock” — *cue sarcasm* — over the unspeakable news.
A bible thumping, "family values" conservative cheated on his wife with multiple women? #CruzSexScandal pic.twitter.com/U8YLuSjY6W
— Fatniss Neverlean (@Cmccarth7) March 25, 2016
Credit: @Cmccarth7 / Twitter
This dude already gave Heidi Cruz her own special title, should the unthinkable happen and Cruz actually became president.
If @tedcruz were elected president his wife would be the sixth lady. #CruzSexScandal
— CordieHotepMendoza (@CordieMendoza) March 25, 2016
Credit: @CordieMendoza / Twitter
There’s even talk about what will happen when he finally faces the music à la Bill Clinton.
#tedcruz soon "I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman- or that woman- or that woman – or that woman – or…" #cruzsexscandal
— Mark Critch (@markcritch) March 25, 2016
Credit: @markcritch / Twitter
And then there are the social media vigilantes working diligently to expose the identities of the women accused of sleeping with Cruz.
https://twitter.com/Campaign_Trump/status/713348341820555264
Credit: @Campaign_Trump / Twitter
Some of them are pretty public figures. #SipsTea
Most importantly, people were waiting on the edge of their seats for Donald Trump to chime in. After all, there’s already a battle involving their wives.
Me waiting on @realDonaldTrump to start tweeting about #CruzSexScandal pic.twitter.com/K22rOvL3Ge
— Bryan Weaver (@BryanWeaverDC) March 25, 2016
Credit: @BryanWeaverDC / Twitter
And he did.
https://twitter.com/Allibiis/status/713441853778051072
Credit: @Allibiis / Twitter
Because this is the Internet, the hashtag has already become a meme, morphing into yet another iteration of the joke.
RE: #CruzSexScandal
HAS ANYONE CALLED IT THE #CubanMistressCrisis YET?!
— Celine Dionysus (@dadbodhishattva) March 25, 2016
Credit: @dadbodhishattva / Twitter
But, don’t worry Teddy. Some people are on your side no matter what.
Stop acting like a #CruzSexScandal is shocking. What lady wouldn't want some of this? pic.twitter.com/SSuZyX1nLy
— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) March 25, 2016
Credit: @Crutnacker / Twitter
It’s not just on Twitter.
Credit: USNews / CNN / YouTube
One of the alleged mistresses has already been publicly called out on CNN by a Trump surrogate, natch.
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