Trump has been called small minded when it comes to things like immigration, bankruptcy, civil rights, gender rights, educational fraud, etc., but only recently has the smallness of his hands been called into question. The Americans Against Insecure Billionaires with Tiny Hands PAC has demanded that the candidate submit his hands to a measurement to prove that he is physically fit to run the country. Trump, to this point, has refused. While this might sound like a joke, the implications are astounding. While Trump has gone around wagging his finger at undocumented workers, it is he who has been traipsing around this great nation with undocumented hands.
And now it all makes sense. Trump’s fear of Latinos comes from a deep-rooted fear that our culture will expose the world to the true diminutive stature of his hands. Let’s take a look at a few examples.
Guayabera Shirt And Its Many Pockets
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In the wild, pockets are the natural enemy of small hands. So, it’s probably this guayabera shirt here that brings out the most anger in Trump. Maybe having deep pockets and tiny hands explains why Trump is so bad with money?
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Donald Trump never drinks. Maybe that’s because the size of his hands makes it impossible for him to grasp any bottle with confidence. Any time he sees a party-sized bottle of tequila, it must send him into a rage.
Talking With Your Hands
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In my family, everyone talks with their hands. If Donald Trump were to talk with his, it would only come out as a whisper. No one would be able to hear him over the shrieks of my Tía after her fourth drink, which she holds with her normal-sized hands.
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Popular among all of my uncles and Hector Lavoe, Trump can only wear these as bracelets. Surely this must be what fuels his anger towards Latinos.
The Phrase ‘Mano a Mano’
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For someone who likes to anger so many people, it seems weird that he should have so many body guards. Maybe that’s because if he were to ever go hand to hand with someone, it would expose the fact that he has micro hands.
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I have normal-sized hands, and I’m barely able to eat Mexican food without making a mess. Notice he’s using silverware. That’s because his miniature hands (obviously Photoshopped in this pic) are not dexterous enough negotiate his dinner.
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It could be that Trump’s anger towards Latinos stems from the chihuahua. It’s puny size clearly mocks Trump’s infant-sized hands.
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Here we see two things that threaten Trump: women and normal-sized hands. Maybe this is why Trump can’t tell the truth. His hands are so small that placing them on the bible doesn’t count as an actual oath.