We all know what it’s like to mentally prepare to see family after you’ve moved away from home. You’re going to hear all of the “ay, que flaquita” and “¿y el novio?” questions all in one breath. Those are just the most common questions. We all know that it never ends there. People are going to ask you about your job a million different ways, and still not get it.

Of course, every single viejo is going to ask you why you’re still single. “Mejor sola que mal acompañada,” so they say. Well, Melissa Croce had a lot more than that to tell her family and her reaction is something that can help all of us get ready for that family reunion.

Melissa Croce wanted to nip all questions in the bud with a handy brochure.

Apparently, it all started as a joke between Croce and her coworkers, but she couldn’t let go of the idea. After you read her brochure, you’ll understand why it’s so cathartic.

“So You Haven’t Seen Melissa Croce in Several Years: A Primer”

Here’s a lil life update on the subject of your chismosando, honey. “She’s beauty and she’s grace. She’ll say it to your face.” Boom. Roasted. Who hasn’t felt the same way when getting ready to see your family?

Croce handily has two separate columns for Job vs New York FAQS.

So many folks had a good laugh at the “Should you, though?” in response to “I should come visit you!” We’ve all braced ourselves through a fake grin answering highly judgmental questions. When they go low, we go high. When they go low, we go high. This brochure is pure low. 😂

You open the brochure to the question of the house: “Why is Melissa Single?”

You can choose whatever adventurous conversation experience you are initiating. What a perfect way to let the family know what they’re getting themselves into by passing judgment on single, working women.

Croce tweeted out her brochure and may have started a new side hustle for herself!

Follow your passions and everything else will follow. Even though Latinas can all relate to being asked this question, sexism is universal. Croce might have a new career calling!

Even folks are asking for her career advice at this point.

When you see success, you chase it, right? Croce works for a publishing company but isn’t editing or reading books. She’s marketing children’s books. You know, in case you didn’t read the brochure.

Croce didn’t actually pass out the brochures.

Of course, one *man* commented that, “The only thing that would be more petty than this would be actually giving it to people at the wedding.”

Croce told Buzzfeed, “I didn’t hand the brochures out! For one thing, I like my cousin, and secondly, I don’t think my aunts and uncles would’ve been too pleased with me if I did — but I did have to answer many of the questions on the brochure, so maybe I should’ve after all!”

One fan took the opportunity to formally ask Croce to be her life coach.

Croce was surprised to learn how relatable her experience was–“going to a big event and exposing the basics of your life to people who mean well, but are also strangers in many ways.”

She said yes, of course.

We’re glad some folks are appreciating Croce because the sexism hasn’t relented since she tweeted out the brochure. Folks have been telling her, “boo hoo, suck it up,” and “we get it, you’re sexist and hate men.”

Nope. Women expressing their frustration with sexism is not allowed in a patriarchal society, and that’s not stopping anyone.

So many people are taking this brochure to heart and figuring out how they can make it their own.

Thank you, Croce, and we hope the half dozen folks who have publicly reached out asking for their own brochure. If you’re reading this, Croce, we’ll leave you with this friendly message from @jmlandais:

“You definitely are good at your work. Turned your angst in a great brochure that stroke a nerve. I think you can ask for a raise.”

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It’s been more than a week since David Ortiz was shot at a bar in Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic. There are still many questions left to be answered surrounding the tragic blindside attack on the Boston Red Sox legend. To this point, 10 suspects are in custody and facing charges for the Ortiz shooting. We’ve also learned that the attack may have been coordinated from people currently behind prison cells.

Alberto Miguel Rodriguez Mota allegedly met with another suspect, Gabriel Alexander Perez Vizcaíno, to discuss a plan one week before Ortiz was shot.

The Boston Globe is reporting that Alberto Miguel Rodríguez Mota, who is still at large, helped orchestrate the shooting. New details have also emerged behind who coordinated the attack. According to the New York Daily News, two jailed suspects, Carlos Alvarez and Jose Eduardo Ciprian Lebron, allegedly helped plot the hit on Ortiz while serving time in a Dominican prison.

Ciprian and Carlos Alvarez helped coordinate the shooting and distributed a $7,800 payment to the would-be assassins from prison. According to the AP, Gabriel Alexander Perez Vizcaino, 24, also assembled the hit squad and is expected to spend one year in preventive prison.

Vizcaino allegedly sold an iPhone, that was used to plan the attack, to a woman for $180. This was done so he could quickly dispose of evidence a day after the shooting. Authorities claimed the phone was giving him problems and was the reason behind Perez selling it.

The shooting, which left Ortiz with organ damage, happened after a man, who got off a motorcycle, shot him in the back at point-blank range. The alleged gunman, Rolfi Ferreira Cruz, fled from the scene, but the alleged getaway driver, Eddy Feliz Garcia, fell from his motorcycle as he attempted to flee. Garcia was beaten by a crowd before being turned over to police.

Many of the suspects have claimed innocence or have denied charges altogether.

Various reports say it’s unclear if Ortiz was the intended target and many of the suspects have stated that “it was a mistake” or it simply wasn’t them. The various suspects are now facing a number of different charges. They range from attempted murder, attempted homicide, gang activity, gun violations and accessory to attempted murder.

Court documents show that on the Sunday before the shooting, Mota and Vizcaino met to go over details and the plans of the attack. Ciprian would send Mota a photo of the target but documents don’t specify whose picture it was or if Ortiz was in it.

According to the New York Daily News, Ferreira-Cruz told reporters from his holding cell that he mistook Ortiz for the real intended target. “It wasn’t David,” Ferreira-Cruz said. “I got confused by his clothing.”

The attack has brought shock waves to the Dominican Republic as many are still trying to figure out why a national hero like Ortiz could be targeted.

The attack came as a shocker for many around the world but especially in the Dominican Republic where Ortiz has made endless contributions. Some say the attack is a sign of jealousy from the success that Ortiz has had.

“He is the same David Ortiz,” Felix Martinez, who grew up with Ortiz told CNN. “What happens when a person comes from poverty, what they want … when they come to their home country is to be with their people. There are people that are full of envy. That wanted to have that pride, that success.”

While motives are still being investigated, Ortiz has made progress and is recovering back in Boston.

Ortiz’s family posted Father’s Day tributes on Sunday in dedication to the baseball icon. The former slugger continues to make a recovery from the gunshot wound in Massachusetts General Hospital.

“Nothing more to say other than thank you for the sacrifices you have made to give not only me but our entire family the whole world in our eyes. You have worked so tremendously hard while not fully enjoying the fruits of your labor,” Ortiz’s daughter, Alexandria, wrote on Instagram. “The thing you said today that made me pause was: ‘sorry, this isn’t the way we should celebrate Father’s Day’ through invading tears as I can’t wait to show you the Game of Thrones inspired gift.”

Tiffany, Ortiz’s wife, also wrote in an Instagram post that Father’s Day this year “brings with it a new appreciation for life and an awareness in what truly matters.”

“Please celebrate this Papi’s Day with the ones you love. Be present in every moment, don’t get hung up on gifts, material things, titles, fame or fortune,” Tiffany wrote. “Those things can be taken away in a moments notice and all we are left with is the memories of the moments we truly connected and grounded ourselves in true love”

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