Colombian Luis Alberto Diaz got the surprise of his life during a leisurely drive when his WIFE, Adalia Briñez, spotted him cruising with his SIDE CHICK. She balls out stood in front of his car in the middle of traffic and demanded he make his mistress get out. Briñez was so pissed that a crowd gathered; the situation totally escalated.
OK, that someone is actually a company in Switzerland. They’re set to launch the Flatev, a toaster-like appliance that takes a prepackaged lump of masa, flattens it out and heats it up in about 30 seconds.
And this Swiss company (also named Flatev) says its product rivals the taste of homemade tortillas – what you’d call “tortillas hechas a mano.”
The tortillas, which are six inches wide, are available in corn or flour. The company’s website lists corn and water as the ingredients for corn tortillas. The flour tortillas are made up of flour, water, baking soda and salt.
If your mother (or abuelita) is peering over your shoulder while you read this, she’s probably thinking, “Blasphemy!”
But amazing tortillas come at a cost. Rosa is visibly straining during the tortilla-making process. Maybe it’s painful to knead that masa or maybe she just hates the guts of all those impatient ingrates in the dining room. Also, she uses a wooden spoon to flip the tortillas, which is some entry-level shit your mom would laugh at… but let’s play along.
OK, OK, they don’t actually say that. But it’s clear none of these people are related to Rosa, because if they were, all that gesticulating would get them nothing but a loud, “¡Ya no chinguen!” from the kitchen.
When Rosa emerges from the kitchen with fresh tortillas, she’s all smiles. Dude in the black shirt is like, “K, thanks,” and snatches the basket right away.
And as she smiles, Rosa lets another revenge fantasy play in her head.
Which leads us to this: Rosa is cool and all, but why not spend $300 and replace her with this?
Man, hot tortillas at the touch of a button sounded great… until y’all made Rosa go “poof.” According to Fast Company, the machine can replace the Rosa in your life for a price between $250 and $300.
So here’s how it works: you take a prepackaged pod and place it in the machine.
The pods, which need to be refrigerated, have a shelf life of 60 days. Worried about all the waste created by plastic pods? Flatev told Cool Hunting that although their pods are currently made of plastic, they plan on developing biodegradable pods.
Then you press a button and out comes a hot tortilla.
It’s actually really cool, right? Unless you’ve got a family of five and you’re stuffing dozens of plastic pods in a machine to get one tortilla at a time. Everyone out there has a tio who can destroy a dozen tortillas on a single plate of barbacoa. Oh, and the pods will sell for nearly a dollar (90 cents) each, so a dozen fresh tortillas will run you about 11 bucks.
You’re probably thinking, “What the hell do Swiss people know about the tortilla game?” Well, the Flatev was actually co-founded by a Mexican dude…this Mexican dude:
“Tastes exactly like a homemade, handmade tortilla,” says Ioana Navarrete-Pellicer of Boston’s Mexican Consulate. OK, so this isn’t just some Swiss scheme to sell crappy tortillas…
Ruiz, who hopes to debut the Flatev this Spring, told Techinsider that there are already 12,000 preorders for the machine. Here’s its new look:
Ruiz says the rounded edges and gray color were inspired by the metate, the traditional grinding stone used for making tortillas. If you’re wondering who’s willing to spend $300 for a machine that makes $1 homemade tortillas, Ruiz has an idea. He told the Boston Business Journal: “We’re targeting foodies who care about what they eat and young professionals who like to eat healthy.”