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5 Beautifully Perverse Responses To Use When Someone Makes You Speak Spanish

Pexels / Mitú

Chances are, someone at some point has, upon confirming that you are indeed Latino/a, asked you to “OMG, say something in Spanish.”

What are you supposed to say, exactly? You’re on the spot! You’re nervous! Everyone is looking at you! And then… “Uh, ummm, me llamo… Bob?” What a letdown.

Fortunately, we’ve put together a handy guide to use when you’re grappling for just the right phrase to show off your Spanish-speaking skills to a group of curious gringo strangers:


caradeculo
Credit: Pexels / Mitú

Translation: You have a tremendous ass-face.


cebolla
Credit: Pexels / Mitú

Translation: You’re so ugly, you’d make an onion cry.


cago
Credit: Pexels / Mitú

Translation: I shit in your mother’s milk.


cacapoop
Credit: Pexels / Mitú

Translation: You pooped and you jumped into the poop.


burro
Credit: Pexels / Mitú

Translation: A, E, I, O, U… A donkey knows more than you.


READ: 9 Insults Only Latinos Use As Compliments

What’s your favorite insult? And why did we have to bring milk into this? Poor leche.

If The World Was Twitter These Are The Question You'd Get At A #JobInterviewAtTrumpCampaignHQ

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If The World Was Twitter These Are The Question You’d Get At A #JobInterviewAtTrumpCampaignHQ

@realDonaldTrump / Twitter

The folks at @HuffPostComedy just unleashed a brutal and wildly popular hashtag for all of you who want to give Donald Trump a piece of your mind. Seriously, just type #JobInterviewAtTrumpCampaignHQ in Twitter and see what you get. GOLD, I tell you! But for real though, where are the lies? Here are some of the most savage, brutal and real tweets circulating thus far. Enjoy!


First and foremost, the interview would definitely happen via Twitter.

Credit: @JohnFPLane / Twitter

Because, let’s be honest: Where else would Donald Trump do his talking?


This shooting joke reference is all to damn real.

https://twitter.com/Scrypt_Pathogen/status/745353882142793729

Credit: @Scrypt_Pathogen / Twitter

You know, because Trump claims he can shoot people and not lose his support.


People. Were. Savage!

Credit: @Kympocalypse / Twitter

But, low key honest.


There are some real hard-hitting questions in this hashtag.

https://twitter.com/DreJSmith/status/745353530228150275

Credit: @DreJSmith / Twitter

And a nifty scale to determine if you are the right fit.

Credit: @iamandymcdonald / Twitter

Hint: You don’t want to be a fit.


These people really dug deep to show just what to expect in the interview.

Credit: @lancegould / Twitter

Like, they are even exposing the most rigorous parts of the interview.

Credit: @JamesMorgan92 / Twitter

We should just assume that orange is a safe color, you know, because of the boss.


Make sure you brush up on the Trump University dictionary if you even want a shot at the job.

Credit: @JenniferHerceg / Twitter

The political shade was so real it hurt.

Credit: @krodNM / Twitter

Pobrecito Chris Christie. His eyes are screaming for help.


Though, one good point was brought up: Who will make his hands look bigger?

Credit: @czar0406 / Twitter

You’re gonna need more than Photoshop to get that accomplished.


And, of course…

https://twitter.com/phozonhanabi/status/745353578391314433

Credit: @phozonhanabi / Twitter

So…

Credit: @MsTexas1967 / Twitter

Many…

Credit: @JohnFPLane / Twitter

Wall…

https://twitter.com/nuffsaidNY/status/745343785362653184

Credit: @nuffsaidNY / Twitter

Jokes!

Credit: @bannerite / Twitter

(H/T: @HuffPostComedy)


READ: Twitter Racists Hated Sebastien De La Cruz’s National Anthem Performance At The #DemDebate But They Got Shut Down

Register to vote today by downloading the Latinos Vote app for iOS and Android. Our voice matters. #WeAreAmerica! Send us your own #JobInterviewAtTrumpCampaignHQ tweets to @wearemitu and you might get retweeted!

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