Culture

These Songs About Food Are Pretty Dirty And You Didn’t Even Realize It As A Kid

Whether you are a Latino foodie or someone who likes to use food as code for carnal pursuits, we’ve got the perfect playlist for you. Get ready to get your groove on and don’t be surprised if you find yourself hungry for food – or a little sumthin’ sumthin’ if you know what we mean.

“Pollito con Papas” by Los Vaskez

pollito con papas
Credit: Pollito con Papas/Los Vaskez/Discos CBS International

We’re thinking the finger lickin’ good chicken legs may belong to a chick, not a chicken. Oh and doesn’t that pollo on the album cover look more like a turkey?

“La Mayonesa” by  Chocolate

MI0002082284
Credit: Mayonesa/Chocolate/Fonovisa

A group named Chocolate singing about mayonnaise? Estos mañosos are not singing about a condiment that you put on sandwiches. They’re going on and on about getting whipped up into a creamy and dizzying frenzy by a woman with a tattoo on her back. ?

“La Papa Sin Catsup” by Gloria Trevi

mas turbada que nunca
Credit: Más Turbada Que Nada/Gloria Trevi/BMG Ariola

Trevi uses her signature growl on this song from the album “Más Turbada Que Nunca” to explain that some dumbass has left her like fries without ketchup. But the best line has got to be when she says she was left like “un nopal sin lo baboso y el baboso eres tú!”

“Arroz con Habichuela” by El Gran Combo

Arroz con Habichuela El Gran Combo
Credit: Arroz con Habichuela/El Gran Combo/Norte

This song isn’t literally about rice and beans, it’s about “sabor, sabor, sabor de la vieja escuela, salsa caribeña, rumba, plena.”

“Caramelo y Chocolate” by Sexteto Juventud

Sexteto Juventud
Credit: La Magia del Sexteto/Sexteto Juventud/Velvet

The chocolate and caramel is actually a nena that is so freakin’ sweet she’ll put you in danger of dying from diabetes.

“Patacón Pisao” by Johnny Ventura

El Caballo Negro Johnny Ventura
Credit: El Caballo Negro/Johnny Ventura/Combo

So this dude, who is married to Josefa, only wants to get down with pescado and “patacón pisao pisao.” But Josefa is not puttin’ out the fish or smashin’ this guy’s banana. Pobrecito.

“Camarón Pelao” by Los Polifaceticos

ocho-palabras
Credit: EMI Televisa

Hmmm, maybe this one really is about shrimp “con salsita y con limon” because no man in his right mind really wants to compare any part of himself to a little shrimp, right?

“A Mi Me Gustan Las Pupusas”  by Grupo Invasion

A Mi Me Gustan Las Pupusas
Credit: A Mi Me Gustan Las Pupusas/Grupo Invasion/Photomaster Records

There is no denying that “pupusas con curtido y salsa de tomate” are delicious even if they aren’t served by a lady wearing an apron and tiny chonies.

“Caldo de Pollo” by Grupo Mojado

Grupo Mojado
Credit: Sueño y Realidad/Grupo Mojado/Fonovisa

These boys have the recipe for happiness. It doesn’t matter if you can’t pay the rent or your the love of your life just dumped you “con el caldo de pollo se quita todo mal.”

“La Arepa” by Aniceto Molina

La Arepa Aniceto Molina
Credit: Paquetazo de Colección/Aniceto Molina

“Margarita vende arepas calientes,” but she makes a special one that she doesn’t sell to just anyone. In order to let someone eat the special arepa, she has to be sure. That sounds like a lot of commitment for an arepa.

“La Tortilla” by Joe Cuba

joe-cuba-sextet
Credit: Recuerdos de Mi Querido Barrio/Joe Cuba/Tico Records

He’s singin’ about how much he wants to taste the tortilla, but I guess THAT tortilla is kind of hard to get.

“Salchica con Huevo” by Jimmy Sabater

Jimmy Sabater Solo
Credit: Solo/Jimmy Sabater/Tico Records

“Salchicha con huevo me pidio al amanecer.” No she didn’t! That means she spent the night and she still wanted sausage and eggs for breakfast. Naughty!

PLAY: Can You Guess The Song From The Music Video Screenshot?

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Fans Have Discovered Cardi B’s Bodyguard and the Thirst Is Real

Entertainment

Fans Have Discovered Cardi B’s Bodyguard and the Thirst Is Real

@OceanPopNews/ Twitter

As you may know, on Tuesday Cardi B made an appearance at Queens Criminal Court to deal with the case of attempted assault on New York bartenders Sarah “Jade” Wattley and Rachel Wattley. While Cardi immediately made headlines for her fashion-forward outfit that consisted of a large black coat decked out in feathers and a matching wide-brimmed hat, another member of her entourage was making headlines for an entirely different reason

Of the litany of paparazzi pictures documenting Cardi entering the courthouse, Cardi’s fans clocked the visage of a particularly handsome man closely following Cardi In the background  The gentleman in question was revealed to be Cardi B’s bodyguard, who goes by the name of Price. Wearing a black turtleneck, a gray blazer, and a trendy fisherman beanie, Mr. Price looked as if he just stepped out of a Calvin Klein ad.

As soon as the internet set their sights on Cardi’s bodyguard, all mention of her legal woes went out the window.

Credit: @bobeaubreaux/Instagram

With his chiseled jawline, furrowed brow and pouty lips, it seems as if Price was born to become an internet thirst trap. His Instagram feed is chock-full of pictures of him smoldering for the camera, decked to the nines in stylish designer clothes. It’s safe to say that Price could have had a very successful career as a male model if he hadn’t pursued a career in security.

But based off of his social media activity, Price seems to be completely content with his current calling. According to his Instagram page, Price owns and operates Priceless Protection Services, a private security company that’s based out of Georgia. He frequently shares posts about how blessed he feels to have the job he does. On Cardi’s birthday, Price shared a photo of the two of them on his page, with a caption that read: “It’s an honor continuing to protect you and your family”.

Not only is Price a successful businessman, but he appears to be a devoted father as well.

Adorably enough, Price often shares photos of himself with his son, the most recent one being on Thanksgiving. He captioned the precious photo of him and his son: “He has me lost for words when I usually have so much to say”. No word yet on whether Price is single or taken (but we’re hoping for the former).

According to Price’s Instagram page, he is also a loyal employee. He appears to have a close relationship with his employer, frequently singing Cardi’s praises through effusive posts, like the most recent one congratulating Cardi for gracing the cover of Vogue. “You are 100% deserving of god‘s plan for your life,” he captioned under a photo of Cardi holding her baby, Kulture.

Considering the popularity of Cardi’s hot bodyguard, it could be possible that she hired him in order to detract attention from her frequent headline-making antics.

It should be noted that Cardi wasn’t visiting Queens Criminal Court for a lighthearted matter. The “I Like It” singer was attending a hearing related to the 2018 altercation she had with Sarah “Jade” Wattley and Rachel Wattley outside of a New York strip club.

According to sources, Cardi tried to attack the Wattley sisters in retaliation for Jade’s romantic involvement with her husband, Offset. Cardi was charged and arrested in October 2018 for her involvement in the altercation, and earlier this year she pled not guilty to two felony counts of attempted assault as well as the lesser counts such of harassment, conspiracy, and reckless endangerment. In other words, Cardi is dealing with a lot right now.

Naturally, Twitter users couldn’t get enough of the tall, dark, and handsome Mr. Price.

People were shook that Cardi could be constantly surrounded by such a snack without giving into the temptation of…indulging.

This Twitter user decided to use the buzz around Cardi’s bodyguard to shoot her shot:

We can’t blame a girl for trying.

This girl decided to keep her love for price simple and to the point:

Join the club, chica.

This person had a brilliant idea after seeing pics of Cardi with Price:

We would even settle for a reality show at this point.

Some people had some spot-on jokes about how Offset should be watching his back:

Yes, we know Offset and Cardi have a solid relationship, but if there’s one thing that can sever a bond as strong as theirs, it’s a razor-sharp jawline.

Here’s How You Can Turn Your Christmas Into A Way To Celebrate Mariah Carey And Her Christmas Magic

Entertainment

Here’s How You Can Turn Your Christmas Into A Way To Celebrate Mariah Carey And Her Christmas Magic

mariahcarey / Instagram

The holidays can be a painful time of year for many people, whether that be because your family is loco, or across borders, or because you’re simply a recovering Catholic. One truth about Christmas that everyone can celebrate without spiritual or family trauma is the universally beloved Queen of Christmas: Mariah Carey. When producers asked Mariah Carey to create her first holiday album, she doubted the had the star power to make any kind of impact on Christmas music. Since the 1994 “Merry Christmas” album release, it’s gone Platinum five times and has sold over 5 million copies in the United States alone. It is arguably the single most impactful holiday album to become immortalized in American Christmas Classics. Just days ago, news broke that her holiday hit, “All I Want For Christmas is You,” would become the subject of a documentary film, 25 years later. That’s the power of Carey-mas. 

So, if your doubts about the upcoming holidays have you down, or you already know that Carey-mas is your access point to holiday cheer, we’ve got you covered. Behold, our vision for the perfect feast day to celebrate the Queen of Christmas.

What’s a Carey-mas without her angelic sound waves reverberating around the room?

CREDIT: “SLIDE VIEW: 1 : MARIAH CAREY – MERRY CHRISTMAS LIMITED LP” / URBAN OUTFITTERS

The Ground Zero of Carey-Mas lies in her cherubic, powerful voice that has carried from 1994 into present-day with her first holiday album, “Merry Christmas.” If you’ve never heard Carey’s voice on vinyl, Urban Outfitters is selling the Limited LP that will get you as close to a live performance of Mariah Carey in your living room as possible. This is a vinyl that you can pass down to your children, and their children, and her voice will carry just as easily into the next 25 years.

Give yourself an outlet to release your newfound holiday cheer with a karaoke machine.

CREDIT: @GAMER_HUNTRESS / TWITTER

Is it really Christmas without some Carey-oke? I said it. Of course, nothing will ever come close to Carey’s unheard of range, but Carey-mas is all about celebrating the spirit of Mariah Carey Christmas. Fact: it’s as physically impossible to put on mascara without opening your mouth as it is to listen to Mariah Carey Christmas music without full-out belting the songs. Spread the Carey cheer with Carey-oke.

Mariah Carey, and you, need mistletoe to wait under.

CREDIT: @LOVEAMYSTERY / TWITTER

So be sure to place that mistletoe right above where that karaoke machine will be so that way when they belt, “I won’t ask for much this Christmas, I won’t even wish for snow, and I just wanna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe,” their Carey-mas cheer will double. Oh, and don’t hang stockings above the fireplace. Mariah Carey couldn’t bother because all she wanted for Christmas was you, and you can’t fit in a stocking. It’s all in the details, mi gente.

Get one step closer to becoming Mariah Carey with this look-a-like costume.

CREDIT: “SANTA BABY COSTUME – RED/WHITE” / YANDY.COM

It’s a universally known fact that Mariah Carey invented Christmas, but a lesser-known fact is that Carey brought us the comforts of jumpsuits on the cover of her “Merry Christmas” album. Yandy may not know that it’s revived the ’90s Santa Claus jumpsuit Mariah Carey gave us, but, now, you do. 

Whether you’re sending out Carey-mas party invites or your holiday cards, these will do the trick.

CREDIT: “MARIAH CAREY CHRISTMAS GREETING CARD” / TOTALLY GOOD TIME

Some use Christmas as the season to spread their “good news” about their Christ and Savior. This greeting card takes the time to simply put, “Mariah Carey Invented Christmas.” 

Mariah Carey loves to give gifts on Christmas, so make sure yours are wrapped with her generous face all over them.

CREDIT: @MASLO_4 / TWITTER

In 2015, Mariah Carey told Buzzfeed News that her “favorite Christmas gift is to have a relaxed Christmas and to give gifts. I love giving gifts. It’s almost like I don’t open my gifts until, like, three days after Christmas, ’cause I want to give everyone else their presents. Especially now having my own little babies, it’s all about them.”

P.S. It’s not a Carey-mas without inviting all your friends’ dogs over. Mariah Carey loves her doggos, and the best gift bag is one for the pooches. Merry Carey-mas to all creatures and to all a festive night!

READ: Breaking News: The Queen Of Christmas Has Officially Declared It The Holiday Season