Dear Hi Mom,
It’s time for us to talk about something we’re both going to hate. It involves my vagina and a foreign object. I’m sorry, I know this is going to be super awkward for the both of us.
Credit: Live From LA
When I first got my period you gave me “The Period Talk.” Granted, you did an okay job explaining that if I have sex or even think about it, I’d end up pregnant and that this officially made me a señorita – whatever that means. You gave me the proper tool, an ultra maxi pad. But honestly, I’m tired of wearing diapers under my skinny jeans and I don’t want to get started on the overnight extra heavy flow pads that go all the way up to my lower back.
Insisting that I wear pads is by far the most humiliating thing you could’ve done to me. Every time I go to the restroom to change, everyone knows I’m PMSing because they hear me rip the pad off my underwear. Also, did you forget that I’m sitting on a pillow made up of my own blood for hours at a time? And do you know how hard it is to get rid of a dirty pad when there’s no trash can in the bathroom? It’s the worst.
Later, no thanks to you, I discovered a little something called a tampon. When I asked you about it, you said, “¡NO!” right away “porque ya no vas a ser virgen.”
But mom, I’ve done my research and here are a few facts about tampons you need to know.
1. As romantic as it sounds, tampons do not take your virginity.
2. Although I won’t wear a white skirt or do gymnastics in a tampon, it does hold everything in place.
3. It’s not just my friends that you don’t like that are wearing them. It’s what most women under 41 use.
4. I know you’re afraid it’ll hurt me or get stuck. No mom, when a tampon is inserted correctly, you don’t feel a thing and your cervix is way too small to let a tampon through. I’m safe.
5. No need for you to show me how to use one, we have ton of YouTube videos, which saves us both the weird conversation.
So, it would be great if next time you go to the store, you buy me a box and leave it on my bed. Glad we had the talk. Love you.
For the love of periods, share.