identity

12 Things Only Latinos Who Never Learned Spanish Will Understand

Dora The Explorer / Nickelodeon / Omar Villegas/Mitu

Everyone assumes I speak Spanish. It’s not an unfair assumption to make. After all, my skin is brown and I did grow up in Texas. What most people don’t know, however, is that I’m a third generation Latino. At least once a week, someone starts a conversation with me entirely in Spanish. I listen politely, waiting for an opportunity to explain that I am a traitor. I’ve spent the majority of my life satisfying diversity requirements for colleges and commercial roles. But I cannot speak Spanish. If you’re like me, you might be able to relate to the following.

I have brown skin, but I can’t speak Spanish.

Coco loco #coconut #tropicalfruit #tasty #shades #night #whim #monday #crazynight #whysoserious #whynot ?

A photo posted by Marina Munuera Vázquez (@mamv9) on

Coconuts are as delicious as they are relatable.

Most of the Spanish I know I learned from watching “The Simpsons.”

#bumblebeemanstacos #simpsons #springfieldusa #universalstudios #disneyuniversaltrip2015

A photo posted by Laura (@kittenkhaleesi) on

I also learned everything I know about bumblebees from “The Simpsons.”

I can understand simple words, but never with any confidence.

I though segregation was over ? #spanishbathroom #hola ? #lol #civiccenter #concert #spanish #haha #signs #heresyoursign

A photo posted by Stefanie Young (@ello_poppetxx) on

This is yet another reason I need to wear adult diapers when I leave the house.

I hate how dumb I look when someone speaks to me in Spanish.

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CREDIT: OOOMANAMOONOOO / GIPHY / YOUTUBE

I’ve contemplated playing dead just to get out of a conversation.

And when I read from the menu at a Mexican restaurant, everyone around gives me this look.

Oprah GIfry
CREDIT: Oprah / NBC/ SCANDAL MOMENTS / TUMBLR

I butcher Spanish worse than the inquisition.

Then the waiter brings exactly what I ordered:

Macaroni Tacos
CREDIT: SOMEONEATETHIS / TUMBLR

I’ll just eat my words instead.

There was that time I lied to my girlfriend’s parents. I told them I was Persian so they wouldn’t be disappointed in my lack of Spanish.

Woke up feeling like a Toad . #Butters Toadally Tuesday

A photo posted by Butters (aka: Buttercup) (@butters_official) on

Unfortunately, they were both also fluent in Farsi and quickly realized I was not good enough for their daughter.

Then there was that time I lied about being bilingual in a job application. I thought I’d make more money. I didn’t think anyone would fact check me.

CREDIT: COMEDY CENTRAL / KEY AND PEELE / GIPHY

When the interviewer began speaking in Spanish, I knew I was in trouble.

I set my phone to Spanish in an attempt to learn some basic words.

#spanishiphone

A photo posted by Patrick (@pfah417) on

Siri’s Spanish skills were so intimidating, I reset my phone to factory settings.

I would like to read the great authors in their original language. García Márquez! Esquivel! Paz! Rowling?

Two of my favorite things combined. #spanishharrypotter

A photo posted by Mallory Raymond (@malray007) on

This seems like it’ll be easy.

After the first paragraph, I know I’m losing something in the translation.

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I’ll stick to something less complicated than a young adult book.

My friend recommended I get back to basics if I really want to learn.

CREDIT: NICKELODEON / FLIPPYFLIPPYNUTELLA / TUMBLR

Okay, I had no idea what was happening and felt like I was on acid.

Alright, I’m going to speak the little Spanish I know and get started on learning more tomorrow.

Drinking is a universal language. Margarita, por favor!

WATCH: Latino Hottie Teaches Ellen Spanish and Makes Her Blush.

Have you felt shame over your lack of Spanish? Mitú wants to know. Leave a comment below.

Pope Francis Considering A Small Step That Could Eventually Lead To Female Priests

Things That Matter

Pope Francis Considering A Small Step That Could Eventually Lead To Female Priests

franciscus / Instagram

For hundreds of years, the Catholic church has only allowed men to be priests. That may soon change with the help of Pope Francis, who is considering a move that could someday lead to female priests. The Pope recently said he will look into the possibility of appointing female deacons.
 
Yes, deacons are a level below priests, but it’s a huge move when you realize it’s been a men’s club for CENTURIES. Don’t get too excited, though, because the operative word here is “considering.” Pope Francis is only in the initial stages of setting up a commission that will study the possibility of women joining the ranks of the church.
 
“Constitute an official commission that might study the question?” the Pope asked aloud, according to Italian news agencies. “I believe yes. It would do good for the church to clarify this point. I am in agreement. I will speak (in favor of doing) something like this.” He continued: “It seems useful to me to have a commission that would clarify this.”
 
As deacons, women would be able to perform a lot of the same tasks as a priests like baptisms, prayer services or other type of management work for the church. They cannot, however, celebrate mass. Interestingly enough, church historians say women held this role centuries ago, but the practice died over time. In 1994, Pope John Paul II denied a call for women to become priests.
 
The possibility of this change goes hand in hand with all the other changes the Pontiff has made since 2013. 
 
Hooray for joining us in the 21st century, Catholic Church!
 
Read more about the Pope’s decision @ Raw Story.
 
READ:You Will Never Believe The Amount Of Papal Shade Coming From Pope Francis
 
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