#mitúvoice

What You Go Through When You’re Not The “Ideal” Curvy Latina

Credit: @OhReg/Instagram

Almost everyone assumes all Latinas have bodacious bods like Sofía Vergara and J.Lo – and you don’t, you won’t be considered a “real” Latina. Well, surprise! Not all Latina genetics come with plentiful butts, boobs or hips. So here’s what happens when you’re a not-so-curvy Latina and just tryna make it #werk in spite of such great adversity.

Abuela will always be having a conniption that you haven’t eaten enough.

Im scared myself too grandma.#abuelita#alwayshungry#chicana#abuelaproblems

A photo posted by imchewable (@imchewable) on

She’s more up-to-date with your body fat percentage than her favorite novela.

…Even though she feeds you enough to nourish a small country.

Seriously, how many piles of rice and beans can one woman consume?

Your tía will buy you a faja to get you snatched ⏳.

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Because you know, got to make sure you get that hourglass shape AT ALL COSTS, especially if your family says you’re shaped just like your little brother.

Even you start to doubt and compare yourself to your curvy primas.

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Credit: Spike

Was this just me? Doubt it.

The rest of your fam hits you with the “Ay, qué flaca estás” every time they see you.

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You’re never really sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

You die a little when outsiders describe a “real” Latina.

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Credit: Parks And Recreation / NBC

…because apparently only ones with big butts like J.Lo count. #sorrynotsorry my genetics don’t fit into your “ideal.”

All this starts messing with your head, and you realize you’re stuck with an impossible standard to live up to.

I made a thing

A photo posted by Regina Castañeda ? (@ohreg) on

You should have skinny arms and a tiny waist, but enormous boobs and a backside big enough to keep up with the Kardashians.

You give in and do the impossible to grow.

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Credit: fitnessua / Tumblr

Like doing ridiculous diets and Instagram exercise challenges to plump yourself up.

…Until you realize those boob exercises don’t work.

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Credit: Jane The Virgin / CW

Nope. And binge-eating pastelitos won’t go to your ass either. You’ve tried and failed.

People (even your own family members) feel the need to remind you of your body type.

And you never know how to react.

…And you will henceforth and forevermore be known as ‘Flaca.’

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Your real name doesn’t matter because you’re skinny… and that’s all that matters. It’s cool tho.

But whatever. You’re still you and you’re still hot.

You’re still lucky enough to be a Latina, and no matter what shape and size you are, you’re gorgeous.~*~*~


READ: 11 Experiences That Unite All Super Pale Latinas

Do people try to be cute and ask you where your ~Latina booty~ is? Do you kindly tell them to mind their own business? Let us know your struggles in the comments and don’t forget to share!

Erik Estrada is A Now A Cop For Real. These Other Latinos Should Follow His Lead.

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Erik Estrada is A Now A Cop For Real. These Other Latinos Should Follow His Lead.

East Idaho News/YouTube

Erik Estrada isn’t a cop, but he’s played one on television. Wait, that’s not entirely true. This past week, 67-year-old Estrada took the oath to protect and serve the small town of St. Anthony, Idaho. While we applaud his desire to give back to the community, his new career choice makes us wonder: What other roles have Latinos played that could also become their profession? Here are a few possibilities.

Pilot Oscar Isaac

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Credit: Screen Rant / Star Wars: Force Awakens

Internet boyfriend Oscar Isaac played starfighter pilot Poe Dameron in the latest “Star Wars” movie, and that’s reason enough for him to become a pilot in real life. Sure, he needs training and a license, and probably a whole bunch of other qualifications, but the dude already proved he has what it takes to fight the Empire.

Veterinarian Aubrey Plaza

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Credit: Lifetime / YouTube

On “Parks and Recreation,” Aubrey’s character, April Ludgate, thought about becoming a veterinarian for at least a couple of episodes. Maybe now that the show is no longer standing in her way, Plaza can actually pursue this as a legit career.

Professional Badass Danny Trejo

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Credit: Mariah Raw / YouTube

It’s hard to tell where Trejo ends and his acting begins. The guy is a professional badass already, so whether he finds gainful employment as an actual badass or continues to act like a badass, he’ll be a badass either way.

Sorority President Selena Gomez

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Credit: Universal Pictures / YouTube

Gomez’s role as president of Phi Lambda in “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising” was great, and that’s why she should pursue an actual career in college politics. Let’s be honest, it’s only a matter of time before Selena becomes the first Latina president of the U.S., so this job is the perfect warmup to meeting foreign dignitaries and heads of state.

Ghost Hunters Dana DeLorenzo and Ray Santiago

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If you haven’t seen “Ash vs Evil Dead,” do yourself a favor and check out these two monster slayers in action. While technically they hunt the undead (zombies with attitude), the undead don’t technically exist IRL. But ghosts do exist, and we’d feel much safer if these two were protecting all of us.

Retail Boss America Ferrera

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Credit: Television Promos / YouTube

Well, this one hits a little too close to home. Hollywood saddles most Latin@ actors with these kinds of minimum wage roles, so while it’s a high-profile acting gig, it’s basically the retail role of television. But America’s acting on the show is on point enough for me to wish she was my real boss.


Read: Even After Death, Lupe Ontiveros Is Causing A Conversation About Hollywood Stereotypes